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CocoMonkey
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
I'm called Tim. I've been playing Dink since it came out, when I was a young, dumb kid.

E-Mail timthreethreethree@gmail.com
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2014-05-22 18:54:20
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CocoMonkey
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
118: Milderr!! 3: End of Questing Author: Sharp (Anna-Leena) Release Date: April 8, 2002

"Watch the madman burn!!"
"He burns!"
"He burns!"


I'll say that Milderr!! 3 is the best game in the trilogy. Things seemed to make a bit more sense here, and it had better structure than its predecessors. This was still an awfully weird one, though.

The maps aren't very good. There's a place where you're expected to walk on water without being told this is the way to proceed, or being given any indication of why this works. As ever, there isn't much combat because Milder lacks an attack animation, although there is one battle against a dragon that can be impossible if you didn't think to bring several elixirs from the early game. A visit to Terris includes some "invisible walls." There was a spot where I got stuck behind the hardness line of some trees. In terms of mechanics, this is a substandard DMOD, but not terrible.

Sharp's DMODs do have an odd sort of personality going for them, though - it's what made me strangely enjoy "Forest of Dangers" despite the fact that there was practically nothing to it. The dialogue in "Milder 3" (Shut up, that's what I'm going to call it) is more mature than the author's previous mods without losing that bizarre flavor that I can't quite seem to explain. These mods have a tone that's unlike any other DMOD I've played. I'd almost call it nihilistic, but that doesn't quite fit.

Milder's character is stronger in the third mod, and seems to be a valid interpretation (though not the ONLY valid interpretation) of what we know about him from the original game. He cares about himself above all else; though he may be attached to someone else and attempt to help them, if the opportunity passes, he doesn't worry about it too much. Some of the morally questionable things that Milder does in this DMOD are in a grey enough area that I could see Dink doing them, like when he passes the blame for killing a "bonca god" to a guy who had tried to screw Milder over anyway, resulting in his death by burning. Others are on a whole new level of ****ed up. When Milder helps out a village that has lost its witches, they reward him by sacrificing three people in order to add their strength to his own. The sacrifices include a woman, who volunteers eagerly; a knight, who volunteers reluctantly; and a little girl, who begs not to be killed. Milder is completely fine with this. I just... I don't even know what to say.

Everything is like that, in Sharp's world of Milder's adventures. There's no such thing as loyalty or moral consideration, nothing that will hold up to the slightest test. Milder spends most of the DMOD looking for Lyna, but when he finds out that she's dead (from Dink, who seems awfully happy about it despite the fact that he's become her husband), he doesn't sweat it: "Oh, that was no big deal. I never liked her anyways. Never." If Milder volunteers to help somebody, the odds are good that he screws them over in short order, but he gets almost as good as he gives. Every time you think you've achieved something, it doesn't work out well for long, and the plot steadfastly refuses to keep going in one direction. You're told you have to kill an evil dragon, but it turns out that the dragon was supposedly good. You're told that you have to work with Sharp instead of killing her, but that doesn't happen, and then it turns out that she really is evil and is killed anyway. Milder, for his part, takes it all pretty much in his stride. I'm the one who's left reeling.

There's a dark kind of humor about it all. As dark as this is, it's never all that serious. I laughed out loud several times at some witty dialogue. For example, Milder asks a bar owner why the place looks so crappy:

"It's not crappy!"
"Oh, now I see."
"Sure, it just began to look like a palace."

I also enjoyed a sassy fountain that refuses to heal you.

While it's still kind of weak in terms of gameplay and doesn't tell a grand story either, I found this tale of depravity quite interesting, and far superior to the earlier installments. I don't think anyone else could recreate this bizarre, slightly unsettling feeling if they tried.

119: Quest of Glandor (Unfinished) Authors: John M. Hagen, Christiaan Janssen Release Date: April 17, 2002

"hint to player: not finished"

REPUTATION NOTE: This DMOD is one of the incredibly select group to have a score lower than 1.0 (0.5) on the Dink Network!

I've disagreed before with the community that certain DMODs should be rated highly. I've yet to disagree that something should be rated below 1.0. This isn't an exception, but unlike the other very bad DMODs, this one doesn't seem to fail due to a lack of talent or ambition.

I have to give it one of these on general principle alone.

**********This DMOD, "Quest of Glandor,"***********
 ********Has been awarded the prestigious*********
  ****DINK FOREVER MEMORIAL AWARD OF BADNESS*****
   **********On this day May 22, 2014***********


It's hard to stay motivated when making a DMOD. They're a lot of work, and even in the best of times, not all that many people were going to play them. None of us are making The Stanley Parable here. Your determination to make something and finish it has to be pretty much its own reward. It's understandable that a lot of projects run out of steam, and you can't blame authors for wanting to get a version of what exists of their abandoned project out there so that their work hasn't gone to waste. Hell, the community has benefited from this practice. Think of the great unfinished mods out there - Dink's Doppelganger, Crosslink, Back from the Grave. But you know, there's a point at which it's just insulting. "Quest of Glandor" is past that point.

The only thing the DMOD really contains is a bonca who tells you that he would be a really awesome boss if he were finished. I have to admit that it's kind of entertaining to watch the bonca and Dink (actually Glandor I guess, but I'll get to that) talk about which MIDI the fight would use and so on. After a minute or so, though, he sets you free to explore the "rest of the demo."

I wasn't sure what he meant at first, as there only seemed to be three screens, but eventually I found that there's a way to get out. I regretted it, as the rest of the screens contain absolutely nothing of interest. They're dull and unfinished.

If you want to know anything at all about the plans the authors had for "Quest of Glandor," you have to look in the DMOD's folder. There, you will find an awful lot of text about the story. Here's a little sample.

2000 yrs after dink
technology has come and gone, after a war fought for 500 years, nearly all civilization was lost. Magic, also long since gone, has been wiped from history by an organization known as the Illune. Members of the illune immediately set up order after the war, burning books with historical documentation and the banning of writing and reading. In (twisted) hopes that without literacy, technology will never live again. Life is hard in the wastelands. monsters (now intelligent, engineered by a mysterious organization) are more abundant that humans. Monster overlords rule the human population. Breeding them so that their monster kin have food. And food in ready supply do the divisions have.


Apparently the DMOD was to start with Glandor, the protagonist, escaping from the torture of a cruel but stupid tyrant. Most of the story was pretty melodramatic, but there were also elements like Glandor saying "WAZZZZZUUUP" to people and a quest for a porno mag. What fun, but it's all irrelevant because there's practically no connection between the text and what you get if you press the play button on DFArc.

To take this and release it as a DMOD is insulting. I don't mean to be overly dramatic, but I really do feel insulted here. One of the text files says that anyone is free to finish their project - a proposition I've never seen anybody get really excited about, but it's especially ridiculous here because they didn't even really START their project. Another text file says that they spent "a few months" on it, which proves to me that the project, despite its high ambitions, was never serious in the first place.

Next: Cloud Castle.

CocoMonkey has released 11 files

TitleCategoryAvgUpdated
Crazy Old Tim Plays All The D-Mods Volume 1: 1998-2004 (PDF)MiscellaneousExceptional 9.9June 16th, 2018
Crazy Old Tim Plays All The D-Mods Volume 2: 2005-2015 (PDF)MiscellaneousExceptional 9.9June 16th, 2018
Dink Smallwood: Achievement Unlocked EditionD-Mod, Add-OnExceptional 9.5February 17th, 2015
Dinkgon WarriorD-Mod, QuestGood 8.0February 2nd, 2015
Malachi the JerkD-Mod, QuestGood 8.9October 6th, 2014
Crazy Old Tim Plays the DMODs of 1998MiscellaneousN/ASeptember 8th, 2014
Crazy Old Tim Plays the DMODs of 1999MiscellaneousN/ASeptember 8th, 2014
Crazy Old Tim Plays the DMODs of 2000MiscellaneousN/ASeptember 8th, 2014
Tragic Death of Zink Smallwood (The)D-Mod, RompFair 6.1May 13th, 2006
CrossroadsD-Mod, UnfinishedTolerable 3.6July 27th, 2001
End of the World (The)D-Mod, QuestTolerable 4.8March 29th, 1999

CocoMonkey has written 5 reviews

TitleFileTypeScoreDate
The best way to play Dink Smallwood GNU FreeDinkNormalExceptional 9.7March 15th, 2014
Probably the best joke DMOD Goblin TroubleNormalFair 6.9September 15th, 2013
Utterly without value Mike Dingwell's First D-ModNormalHorrible 0.2September 6th, 2013
I Really Liked the Concept For This Dmod World of DinkCFeaturedFair 6.0May 9th, 2006
This Was a Very Good Dmod Green Voice in my Head (The) - Part 1 - Hangover & AgonyFeaturedExceptional 9.0May 9th, 2006

CocoMonkey has taken 165 screenshots

ScreenshotFileDate
Preview Shadows of DeathFebruary 1st, 2015
Preview Pokemon: Bible VersionFebruary 1st, 2015
Preview Dink and the ChinsFebruary 1st, 2015
Preview Cast Awakening Part 5: RevolutionJanuary 31st, 2015
Preview Dinkgon WarriorJanuary 30th, 2015
Preview SilenceJanuary 30th, 2015
Preview Woods (The)January 29th, 2015
Preview Epochs & Aeons: Part OneJanuary 29th, 2015
Preview Bored of the RingsJanuary 26th, 2015
Preview Quest for Dorinthia III - Nymera's QuestJanuary 25th, 2015
Preview Dink and the 4 TowersJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview Dink Gets BoredJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview QuelJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview Lost Forest RompJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview Quest for Dorinthia: Special EditionJanuary 17th, 2015
Preview Trials of a Boy - Enter The IcelandJanuary 16th, 2015
Preview Karel ende ElegastJanuary 16th, 2015
Preview Goblin Wars - Breaking PointJanuary 15th, 2015
Preview ValhallaJanuary 15th, 2015
Preview Enter the Dead Dragon CarcassJanuary 11th, 2015
Preview Dink Wars (Demo)January 10th, 2015
Preview End of Snoresville (The)January 10th, 2015
Preview Fate of Destiny - DemoJanuary 9th, 2015
Preview A False HeroJanuary 9th, 2015
Preview Corporate ManagerialismJanuary 4th, 2015
Preview Dink Z TriviaJanuary 2nd, 2015
Preview Higgledy PiggledyDecember 28th, 2014
Preview Forest of DoomDecember 28th, 2014
Preview Three AmuletsDecember 28th, 2014
Preview Dink's Quest in the IcelandsDecember 27th, 2014
Preview Grasp of DarknessDecember 27th, 2014
Preview Day of the CarcassDecember 26th, 2014
Preview Defeat of the Terrorists (The)December 24th, 2014
Preview Quest for Not Quite as Lame (The)December 21st, 2014
Preview Dink and the BoncaDecember 20th, 2014
Preview A Day in the Life of Dink SmallwoodDecember 20th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Ancients: The CaptureDecember 20th, 2014
Preview An Aeophian Adventure: Dink goes to AeophiaDecember 19th, 2014
Preview InfinidinkDecember 18th, 2014
Preview Kingdom of Chaos ( The )December 17th, 2014
Preview Hero of the Time (The)December 15th, 2014
Preview Hide-n-SeekDecember 15th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Goblins (The)December 15th, 2014
Preview Of Life - Black GuildDecember 14th, 2014
Preview One Screen D-Mod CompilationDecember 14th, 2014
Preview One Screen D-Mod CompilationDecember 14th, 2014
Preview One Screen D-Mod CompilationDecember 14th, 2014
Preview Red ShieldDecember 14th, 2014
Preview Dink's Extremely Short AdventureDecember 12th, 2014
Preview Fall of DarknessDecember 12th, 2014
Preview Rise of the Goblins (The)December 12th, 2014
Preview TrappedDecember 12th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Dink III (The) - The Fall of Imperial SethDecember 10th, 2014
Preview Marco PoloDecember 10th, 2014
Preview Bill & Kill 3: The Terrible EndDecember 10th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Mutant VeggiesDecember 9th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Dink Special Edition (The) - Rand's Quest for AxeDecember 9th, 2014
Preview Bill & Kill 2: The Unknown BoyDecember 8th, 2014
Preview Adventures of Dink Smallwood Part 2: The Song of an Ancient WindDecember 8th, 2014
Preview Bill & Kill 1: *SIGH*December 8th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Dink (The) - The BeginningDecember 8th, 2014
Preview Honor of the Cast: The March of ArmyDecember 6th, 2014
Preview Crystal of the GuDecember 5th, 2014
Preview Honor of the Cast: SlimesDecember 5th, 2014
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Preview Call to GreatnessDecember 1st, 2014
Preview Island of HellDecember 1st, 2014
Preview Scary Beast (The)December 1st, 2014
Preview Gold Knight Agency (The)November 30th, 2014
Preview Kill Murdoock! 2 DemoNovember 30th, 2014
Preview If Ducks Ruled the WorldNovember 28th, 2014
Preview PreludeNovember 28th, 2014
Preview Return to RathorNovember 26th, 2014
Preview Ex-PeppermintNovember 25th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Evil Wizard (The)November 25th, 2014
Preview Dink Vs. Milder 2November 22nd, 2014
Preview Very Dink Christmas (A)November 22nd, 2014
Preview Once a HeroNovember 20th, 2014
Preview Quest (The)November 20th, 2014
Preview Scourger (The)November 19th, 2014
Preview Land of Transforming DucksNovember 16th, 2014
Preview Red Jacket MurdersNovember 16th, 2014
Preview Treasure Battles (The)November 16th, 2014
Preview An Age Of DarknessNovember 12th, 2014
Preview Tile PuzzleNovember 12th, 2014
Preview Dink's WorldNovember 10th, 2014
Preview Adventures of Dink Smallwood Part 1: The Town of RakunaNovember 6th, 2014
Preview Dink Learns MusicNovember 6th, 2014
Preview Dink vs. MilderNovember 6th, 2014
Preview OutlanderNovember 3rd, 2014
Preview Quest for the GemsNovember 1st, 2014
Preview Zach the Marine ExtrasOctober 23rd, 2014
Preview ApexOctober 15th, 2014
Preview ApexOctober 15th, 2014
Preview Impossible ScenariosOctober 7th, 2014
Preview Search for MotherOctober 2nd, 2014
Preview ChaosSeptember 25th, 2014
Preview Slimes VS DinkSeptember 23rd, 2014
Preview MatoyaSeptember 23rd, 2014
Preview Castle KillersSeptember 23rd, 2014
Preview Revenge of the PillbugsSeptember 21st, 2014
Preview Kill Murdoock!!!September 20th, 2014
Preview Hide-and-seekSeptember 20th, 2014
Preview DinkaventureSeptember 20th, 2014
Preview Knight's Tale Trois (A)September 20th, 2014
Preview Goblinoma ZSeptember 19th, 2014
Preview Fountain of Life (The)September 19th, 2014
Preview Triangle MoverSeptember 18th, 2014
Preview Dink's Father 3September 18th, 2014
Preview Unfinished BusinessSeptember 16th, 2014
Preview Dink Nukem - Darkland F**d Up!September 15th, 2014
Preview Bane of the MagiSeptember 11th, 2014
Preview Bane of the MagiSeptember 11th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Army (The)September 9th, 2014
Preview Dink Smallwood: Achievement Unlocked EditionSeptember 5th, 2014
Preview Ghosts of the Cast (The)September 5th, 2014
Preview Ghosts of the Cast : Seth's Revenge (The)September 5th, 2014
Preview RascalAugust 28th, 2014
Preview Beginning of EvilAugust 27th, 2014
Preview Dinkablo II: Shadow and FlameAugust 16th, 2014
Preview Glenn's First D-ModAugust 15th, 2014
Preview Castle of LoreJuly 28th, 2014
Preview DinkersJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Isle of Croth (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Friends Beyond 1July 28th, 2014
Preview Crystal of PowerJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Vagabond's Quest: Dungeon of DespairJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Friends Beyond 3: Legend of TenjinJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Beginning of SorrowsJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Rise of the RebelsJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Emerald Hunt (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Goblin Trouble 2July 28th, 2014
Preview Town Over (A)July 28th, 2014
Preview Moneyspell (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview DWTDJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Okaly-D DinkJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Legend of the DuckJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dink V. ZagorJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Secret of ParizayaJuly 28th, 2014
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Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Spy Number 13 (The)July 28th, 2014
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Preview Legend of the Pillbug (The)July 28th, 2014
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Preview Quest for the Golden NutJuly 28th, 2014
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