The Dink Network

I'm called Tim. I've been playing Dink since it came out, when I was a young, dumb kid.

timthreethreethree@gmail.com
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I gave this challenge a shot. I almost managed it. It's a matter either of extreme endurance or being both crazy good and crazy lucky on Seth.

Here's what you're required to kill:

1) The Martridge quest bonca. 100 exp (Level up to 2 here).

2&3) Two purple boncas on the way to the doomed trapped guy. 50 exp together. Since purple boncas can't hit, you have to kill them both. (exp so far: 150)

4-7) 4 pillbugs on the way to the Dead Dragon Carcass: 40 exp (so far: 190)

8) One of the four bonca girls. You can have the rest kill each other. Actually, it's possible for two to finish each other off at the same time, but this is so unlikely that it's not worth considering. Anyway, this is just 20 exp (so far: 210)

9) Bishop Nelson the slayer: 200 exp (so far: 390)

10) A goblin in the goblin settlement. Again, you can have them kill each other until one remains. 150 exp (so far: 540). Level up to 3 here.

[Due to a quirk in the way die procedures work, Mog gives no exp]

11) A cast knight: 150 exp (total 690).

At this point, to avoid having to fight the Dragons, I took the glitch shortcut to the start of the darklands, which is a tricky area because there are so many screenlocks. Without a doubt, though, this is the most efficient route:

12) One grey bonca: 120 exp (total 810).

13-15) Three evil ducks: 300 exp together (total 1110).

That's all you have to fight on the way to Seth! You'll get locked on a screen with dragons and a slayer too, but the dragons will take care of the slayer before you if you're lucky.

I managed to get to Seth this way. Ta da. Of course, beating him would be the impressive part, and I just couldn't manage it with the regular bow + bow lore. I tried many times and got very close ("Listen to the birds...") once, but it's too hard for me.

Of course, this doesn't mean I couldn't complete the low exp run. It's just a matter of buying the fire bow, but holy crap that would take forever without being able to kill things. I cheated up a fire bow just to see how easy it would be with no other changes, and the answer is very easy.

16) Seth: 10000 exp. This is good enough to take you to level 7.

The lowest amount of exp you can practically beat Dink with is therefore 11110 (!!), defeating a total of 16 experience-giving enemies, or 17 with Mog.

Stealth note: Let's suppose you didn't want to exploit the hardness error. You'd have to fight the two dragons, then. Each gives 400 exp. You'd have a total of 1490 experience after beating the dragons, and 1910 going to Seth. You'd finish with at least 11910 experience, which still makes you level 7.