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Cocomonkey's Profile

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Cocomonkey
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
I'm called Tim. I've been playing Dink since it came out, when I was a young, dumb kid.

E-Mail timthreethreethree@gmail.com
Private Message

2014-09-09 22:00:23
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Cocomonkey
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
166: Blood Scorpions Author: Simeon Release Date: August 15, 2003
"Ain't it great, I just love my blood scorpions!"

"Blood Scorpions" is the last of Simeon's three DMODs, and it's my favorite of the three. It's just a fun DMOD, and something about it makes it very distinct in my mind, although I'm not quite sure what. Perhaps it's the slightly unusual setup.


Graphics from "Stone of Balance" and "Dry" are well-employed to create the desert setting.

Dink wants to join a group of knights sworn to protect a desert town called "The Town of the Ancients." I don't think the Ancients in this DMOD are the same ones the original game was talking about. Anyway, before Dink can join, he has to pass three trials. The first is a timed race through a short course, the second involves fighting some monsters, and the third has you burning down some cacti. The real challenge behind the second and third tests is that you've got to find yourself a weapon and some magic first. You can't leave town until you pass all the trials, so it's necessary to spend some time exploring the town.


The town has some interesting features, like this museum dedicated to the scorpions.

The town is in big trouble because someone has stolen the magical orbs that used to protect it from the hordes of "blood scorpions" (there is a weird and horrible reason they are so called) that roam the sands outside. Without the orbs, it's inevitable that the town will be overrun by scorpions. This is exactly what happens, and there are so many of them that all Dink can do is run and hide. You've had a bit of time to get to know the town and its residents, so it is a little jarring when the scorpions come and kill most of them.


Things could have gone better.

"Blood Scorpions" is a linear DMOD once you leave town, with backtracking often impossible. I fought an awful lot of scorpions. Health restoratives are tough to come by unless you're lucky enough to have a scorpion drop a big heart. It isn't a hard DMOD, but it does require you to play somewhat carefully. The only thing I disliked about the mod is that, at a couple of spots, you're told to go look for something and given no hint at all. There's a certain rock you have to push and a certain, out-of-the-way cactus you have to burn down in order to proceed. It's not a big problem, but it's pointless to make the player hunt around in this way.


There are quite a few screens that really stand out and look interesting.

While I thought Simeon's first two DMODs were good, they didn't seem to resonate with me quite as much as they did with others. Fortunately, "Blood Scorpions" really did click with me, and I found it to be quite an entertaining Dink adventure.

167: The Attack of the Army Author: Glenn Ergo Release Date: August 21, 2003
"After the army chooseed a new leader
It has happend many horible things"


An average rating of 5.2 is enough to make "The Attack of the Army" Glenn's highest-rated DMOD. For somebody with seven published DMODs, that's a bit unfortunate.

This one is competent in a basic way that I do appreciate after playing those ThinkDink mods. Everything pretty much works as you'd expect. I didn't encounter any serious bugs. There's a house you can walk straight through, depth que is frequently wrong and the tiling is lousy, but what else is new?

"Attack of the Army" is one of the least interesting DMODs out there. Even "Rise of the Rebels," which I described as the least interesting mod I'd seen, had a bit more going on. There's a pointlessly big, mostly empty map. You have to fetch a couple of items - they're just lying around on the ground. One of them is a green mushroom. There are actually two of these on the map, but only one of them can be taken. There's no explanation for this.


The only non-boring screen is this bizarre little arrangement.

There's a "secret" huge stash of powerups, but it's very easy to find. This is good, because it's probably impossible to get past the first enemy you have to fight without it. There are three such clusters of powerups in the mod, and when you get them all, everything becomes extremely easy. Dink has to fight a rogue army of knights, including a boss who's just a bigger and tougher knight, and then it's over.


The titular attack of the army.

I mean, truly, what could I say about this DMOD? I guess I could make fun of the text.

King: Your quest is to kill the new leader
Dink: What happens if a desagree
King: You want to be a hero right
Dink: Yes of course
King: Then you dont desagree
Dink: Understand


I certainly "dont desagree" with reviews that describe this DMOD as lackluster and poor. I do think that ThinkDink (of all people!) was a bit too harsh with his 1.0 review that calls it the "worst DMOD ever." It's just a boring, empty thing, and there's really no reason at all to play it.

168: Bloop the Fish 2 Author: Anony Mouse (SabreTrout) Release Date: September 2, 2003
"Made in a couple of hours, because I was bored..."

SabreTrout admitted to having made Bloop the Fish 2 when I went over the original in the 1999 COTPATD forum topic. He had this to say: "I knew how bad Bloop 2 was, hence no uploading it under my own name! I just thought it would be funny if someone made a sequel to such a unique - and poor - d-mod."


I did find the title screen pretty funny. It starts out as just a black screen, then Bloop slowly swims in.

It is kind of funny. "Bloop the Fish" was, no matter what anybody says, a very bad DMOD, but it was a lot more memorable than any other very bad DMOD, and something about it seems to catch people's interest. It seems crazy that somebody would make a followup to such a DMOD more than four years later. Of course, that's nothing compared to IplayDink's Bloop remake coming out in 2014, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

"Bloop the Fish 2," if you were to evaluate it as a DMOD, does a slightly better job at the same thing as the original. It reuses Instalite's graphics, but adds a new sandy beach for decoration and new jellyfish enemies that don't really do anything. It uses screenlock, so unlike the original, there's a point to fighting the sea urchins. It even has some ending text that actually displays, even if it's just to say it's a joke and insult you. I was kind of disappointed in the lack of a shark boss.


Same type deal. Twice times, twice times.

On the other hand, it doesn't make any sense to evaluate "Bloop 2" as a DMOD. SabreTrout wasn't trying to make it any good. As a joke, it's pretty funny in concept, but there's not much to the execution (although I did enjoy the title screen). For a better DMOD and a funnier take on the same joke, see 2014's "A Fish Named Bloop."

Cocomonkey has released 11 files

TitleCategoryAvgUpdated
Crazy Old Tim Plays All The D-Mods Volume 1: 1998-2004 (PDF)MiscellaneousExceptional 9.9June 16th, 2018
Crazy Old Tim Plays All The D-Mods Volume 2: 2005-2015 (PDF)MiscellaneousExceptional 9.9June 16th, 2018
Dink Smallwood: Achievement Unlocked EditionD-Mod, Add-OnExceptional 9.5February 17th, 2015
Dinkgon WarriorD-Mod, QuestGood 8.0February 2nd, 2015
Malachi the JerkD-Mod, QuestGood 8.9October 6th, 2014
Crazy Old Tim Plays the DMODs of 1998MiscellaneousN/ASeptember 8th, 2014
Crazy Old Tim Plays the DMODs of 1999MiscellaneousN/ASeptember 8th, 2014
Crazy Old Tim Plays the DMODs of 2000MiscellaneousN/ASeptember 8th, 2014
Tragic Death of Zink Smallwood (The)D-Mod, RompFair 6.1May 13th, 2006
CrossroadsD-Mod, UnfinishedTolerable 3.6July 27th, 2001
End of the World (The)D-Mod, QuestTolerable 4.8March 29th, 1999

Cocomonkey has written 5 reviews

TitleFileTypeScoreDate
The best way to play Dink Smallwood GNU FreeDinkNormalExceptional 9.7March 15th, 2014
Probably the best joke DMOD Goblin TroubleNormalFair 6.9September 15th, 2013
Utterly without value Mike Dingwell's First D-ModNormalHorrible 0.2September 6th, 2013
I Really Liked the Concept For This Dmod World of DinkCFeaturedFair 6.0May 9th, 2006
This Was a Very Good Dmod Green Voice in my Head (The) - Part 1 - Hangover & AgonyFeaturedExceptional 9.0May 9th, 2006

Cocomonkey has taken 165 screenshots

ScreenshotFileDate
Preview Shadows of DeathFebruary 1st, 2015
Preview Pokemon: Bible VersionFebruary 1st, 2015
Preview Dink and the ChinsFebruary 1st, 2015
Preview Cast Awakening Part 5: RevolutionJanuary 31st, 2015
Preview Dinkgon WarriorJanuary 30th, 2015
Preview SilenceJanuary 30th, 2015
Preview Woods (The)January 29th, 2015
Preview Epochs & Aeons: Part OneJanuary 29th, 2015
Preview Bored of the RingsJanuary 26th, 2015
Preview Quest for Dorinthia III - Nymera's QuestJanuary 25th, 2015
Preview Dink and the 4 TowersJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview Dink Gets BoredJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview QuelJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview Lost Forest RompJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview Quest for Dorinthia: Special EditionJanuary 17th, 2015
Preview Trials of a Boy - Enter The IcelandJanuary 16th, 2015
Preview Karel ende ElegastJanuary 16th, 2015
Preview Goblin Wars - Breaking PointJanuary 15th, 2015
Preview ValhallaJanuary 15th, 2015
Preview Enter the Dead Dragon CarcassJanuary 11th, 2015
Preview Dink Wars (Demo)January 10th, 2015
Preview End of Snoresville (The)January 10th, 2015
Preview Fate of Destiny - DemoJanuary 9th, 2015
Preview A False HeroJanuary 9th, 2015
Preview Corporate ManagerialismJanuary 4th, 2015
Preview Dink Z TriviaJanuary 2nd, 2015
Preview Higgledy PiggledyDecember 28th, 2014
Preview Forest of DoomDecember 28th, 2014
Preview Three AmuletsDecember 28th, 2014
Preview Dink's Quest in the IcelandsDecember 27th, 2014
Preview Grasp of DarknessDecember 27th, 2014
Preview Day of the CarcassDecember 26th, 2014
Preview Defeat of the Terrorists (The)December 24th, 2014
Preview Quest for Not Quite as Lame (The)December 21st, 2014
Preview Dink and the BoncaDecember 20th, 2014
Preview A Day in the Life of Dink SmallwoodDecember 20th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Ancients: The CaptureDecember 20th, 2014
Preview An Aeophian Adventure: Dink goes to AeophiaDecember 19th, 2014
Preview InfinidinkDecember 18th, 2014
Preview Kingdom of Chaos ( The )December 17th, 2014
Preview Hero of the Time (The)December 15th, 2014
Preview Hide-n-SeekDecember 15th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Goblins (The)December 15th, 2014
Preview Of Life - Black GuildDecember 14th, 2014
Preview One Screen D-Mod CompilationDecember 14th, 2014
Preview One Screen D-Mod CompilationDecember 14th, 2014
Preview One Screen D-Mod CompilationDecember 14th, 2014
Preview Red ShieldDecember 14th, 2014
Preview Dink's Extremely Short AdventureDecember 12th, 2014
Preview Fall of DarknessDecember 12th, 2014
Preview Rise of the Goblins (The)December 12th, 2014
Preview TrappedDecember 12th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Dink III (The) - The Fall of Imperial SethDecember 10th, 2014
Preview Marco PoloDecember 10th, 2014
Preview Bill & Kill 3: The Terrible EndDecember 10th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Mutant VeggiesDecember 9th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Dink Special Edition (The) - Rand's Quest for AxeDecember 9th, 2014
Preview Bill & Kill 2: The Unknown BoyDecember 8th, 2014
Preview Adventures of Dink Smallwood Part 2: The Song of an Ancient WindDecember 8th, 2014
Preview Bill & Kill 1: *SIGH*December 8th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Dink (The) - The BeginningDecember 8th, 2014
Preview Honor of the Cast: The March of ArmyDecember 6th, 2014
Preview Crystal of the GuDecember 5th, 2014
Preview Honor of the Cast: SlimesDecember 5th, 2014
Preview Picnic PerilsDecember 5th, 2014
Preview I, Kara GuDecember 3rd, 2014
Preview Dink Goes BeachcombingDecember 3rd, 2014
Preview Call to GreatnessDecember 1st, 2014
Preview Island of HellDecember 1st, 2014
Preview Scary Beast (The)December 1st, 2014
Preview Gold Knight Agency (The)November 30th, 2014
Preview Kill Murdoock! 2 DemoNovember 30th, 2014
Preview If Ducks Ruled the WorldNovember 28th, 2014
Preview PreludeNovember 28th, 2014
Preview Return to RathorNovember 26th, 2014
Preview Ex-PeppermintNovember 25th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Evil Wizard (The)November 25th, 2014
Preview Dink Vs. Milder 2November 22nd, 2014
Preview Very Dink Christmas (A)November 22nd, 2014
Preview Once a HeroNovember 20th, 2014
Preview Quest (The)November 20th, 2014
Preview Scourger (The)November 19th, 2014
Preview Land of Transforming DucksNovember 16th, 2014
Preview Red Jacket MurdersNovember 16th, 2014
Preview Treasure Battles (The)November 16th, 2014
Preview An Age Of DarknessNovember 12th, 2014
Preview Tile PuzzleNovember 12th, 2014
Preview Dink's WorldNovember 10th, 2014
Preview Adventures of Dink Smallwood Part 1: The Town of RakunaNovember 6th, 2014
Preview Dink Learns MusicNovember 6th, 2014
Preview Dink vs. MilderNovember 6th, 2014
Preview OutlanderNovember 3rd, 2014
Preview Quest for the GemsNovember 1st, 2014
Preview Zach the Marine ExtrasOctober 23rd, 2014
Preview ApexOctober 15th, 2014
Preview ApexOctober 15th, 2014
Preview Impossible ScenariosOctober 7th, 2014
Preview Search for MotherOctober 2nd, 2014
Preview ChaosSeptember 25th, 2014
Preview Slimes VS DinkSeptember 23rd, 2014
Preview MatoyaSeptember 23rd, 2014
Preview Castle KillersSeptember 23rd, 2014
Preview Revenge of the PillbugsSeptember 21st, 2014
Preview Kill Murdoock!!!September 20th, 2014
Preview Hide-and-seekSeptember 20th, 2014
Preview DinkaventureSeptember 20th, 2014
Preview Knight's Tale Trois (A)September 20th, 2014
Preview Goblinoma ZSeptember 19th, 2014
Preview Fountain of Life (The)September 19th, 2014
Preview Triangle MoverSeptember 18th, 2014
Preview Dink's Father 3September 18th, 2014
Preview Unfinished BusinessSeptember 16th, 2014
Preview Dink Nukem - Darkland F**d Up!September 15th, 2014
Preview Bane of the MagiSeptember 11th, 2014
Preview Bane of the MagiSeptember 11th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Army (The)September 9th, 2014
Preview Dink Smallwood: Achievement Unlocked EditionSeptember 5th, 2014
Preview Ghosts of the Cast (The)September 5th, 2014
Preview Ghosts of the Cast : Seth's Revenge (The)September 5th, 2014
Preview RascalAugust 28th, 2014
Preview Beginning of EvilAugust 27th, 2014
Preview Dinkablo II: Shadow and FlameAugust 16th, 2014
Preview Glenn's First D-ModAugust 15th, 2014
Preview Castle of LoreJuly 28th, 2014
Preview DinkersJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Isle of Croth (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Friends Beyond 1July 28th, 2014
Preview Crystal of PowerJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Vagabond's Quest: Dungeon of DespairJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Friends Beyond 3: Legend of TenjinJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Beginning of SorrowsJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Rise of the RebelsJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Emerald Hunt (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Goblin Trouble 2July 28th, 2014
Preview Town Over (A)July 28th, 2014
Preview Moneyspell (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview DWTDJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Okaly-D DinkJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Legend of the DuckJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dink V. ZagorJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Secret of ParizayaJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Spy Number 13 (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 2: End of TimeJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Monster House (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Kill the HippiesJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Quest of GlandorJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Baywatch IsleJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Pillbug (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Knight's Tale (A)July 28th, 2014
Preview Quest for the Golden NutJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dink RacerJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dink's DopplegangerJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Sword of Paranor: Forgotten RealmsJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Moorack and the PillbugsJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Lost in DinkJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Dink Smallwood Goes Trick-Or-TreatingJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Richard's AttackJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Mike the MagicianJuly 27th, 2014
Preview ZoltronJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Goblin TroubleJuly 27th, 2014