The Dink Network

Cocomonkey's Profile

custom_coco.gif
Cocomonkey
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
I'm called Tim. I've been playing Dink since it came out, when I was a young, dumb kid.

E-Mail timthreethreethree@gmail.com
Private Message

2014-11-03 02:56:53
custom_coco.gif
Cocomonkey
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
216: Outlander (Demo) Author: Amoebalord Release Date: May 28, 2005
"I killed your pompus ass, bitch!"

Y'know, 2005 has been surprising me. There haven't really been any great DMODs so far, but the overall level of quality has been pretty high. There have been few of the best-left-forgotten DMODs that were quite common in the past few years. I hope this keeps up.

"Outlander" differentiates itself from the pack in several ways, and at least for as far as I got, I found it refreshing. In this DMOD, you play as "Logan," who is represented by the typical farmer sprite. You can attack using the scythe-sweeping animation that's been used in a few DMODs, but the range on this attack isn't anywhere near as long as it should be, making it hard to use. You'll mostly end up relying on magic.

In what I'm sure is a first, "Outlander" features three different status bars. You can switch between them by pressing the "X" key.


This one is used by default. I like it - it feels like a slight corruption of the original. The "Amoebalord" watermark makes it undesirable for use in other mods, unfortunately.


For those who prefer a more familiar feel, here's a bluish treatment of the original status bar.


Aunt Ruthie! Aunt Ruthie! There's ketchup on the computer!

This mod also features some interesting new magic that is crucial for defeating the stronger enemies you can encounter. One spell creates a trail of flames that act like very powerful versions of the acid rain spell. Another new spell is a Hellfire ball that bounces from enemy to enemy, but it doesn't do enough damage to be worth using. There's a third new magic, but it's hidden (you have to walk straight through an ordinary-looking fence to find it). It just picks a random enemy and does 100 damage to them. Well, then.


Here's one of the new spells in action.


Other graphics have been customized too, like this golden savepoint that has a new, wavy effect.

As for the story, there's an interesting enough setup with some shadowy group planning to take over the world, but if it's followed up on in this demo, I didn't see it. I just wandered around the first area doing the many tiny little sidequests the game offers. Although I played the game for almost an hour, I never found a way to really advance the plot.

Maybe it's just as well that I didn't see all of the demo. Browsing through the story folder, I found a script in which Logan meets a fabulous man and sneers at him, "You disgust me." I'm getting sick of this kind of thing, man. I'm not totally against fabulous jokes, but it wasn't even a joke, just straight-up "fabulous people are revolting subhuman creatures, right?" This sort of thing is sadly too common in DMODs.

But enough of that. One of the sidequests involves killing Dink Smallwood. He's the mayor of the little town you find yourself in, and the local undertaker, hoping to profit from a famous person's funeral, offers you gold to murder him. It is shockingly easy to kill Dink - he doesn't fight back or even complain. Maybe he's just sick of it all. I also found it quite funny how easily Logan was able to talk the judge into letting him out of his death sentence. Logan's argument boils down to "The prosecutor is blind and stupid. Dink obviously died from some kind of disease, despite the fact that he was found dead from scythe wounds with me standing next to him holding a scythe." The judge finds this argument so compelling that he lets Logan entirely off the hook! Seems legit.

Actually, it seems that you can kill pretty much any NPC you please. Maybe killing everybody is the way to move on. I didn't try it.


Corpses seem to have a lot more blood than usual in this one.

I didn't notice the game-breaking bugs that reviews talk about. The problems I saw were mostly visual, such as depth que problems and the usual "turning into Dink when you push" problem that is so common to alternate hero DMODs.

I enjoyed the "Outlander" demo for the new graphics and a different feeling than your typical DMOD. I didn't manage to make it far, but you know, I think I'm okay with that. Hey, I never called it "Crazy Old Tim BEATS All the DMODs."

217: Helpin' the Ol' Duck Farmer Author: DaVince Release Date: May 28, 2005
"YOU LIED! YOU SHOULD NEVER LIE TO A STRONG MAN WHO HELPS YOU!"

In sports analytics (Run for the hills! Sports analogy incoming!), a metric called "wins above replacement player" is used to compare the value of players. This number represents how many more wins a player is expected to produce for a team than a "replacement-level player" would. The "replacement-level player" is a hypothetical player who stands for the sort of performance a team could expect to get by just hiring somebody new - somebody who isn't terrible, but doesn't have any skills that'd be hard to replace. A bad player will probably have a negative WARP rating.

It occurred to me recently that I've played a lot of what you might call "replacement-level DMODs." I'm talking about mods that aren't awful or broken, but are unremarkable and similar to the point where, if you were to replace one with the other, few would care. They have some enemies to fight, some kind of plot that you've already seen at least a dozen times, and more likely than not an attempt or two at a fourth wall-breaking joke (usually something about a "lazy author," a joke so old that "Quest for Cheese" considered it worthy of mockery in 1998).


For example.

I don't mean to say this is a bad thing. It's a natural result of having so many games made from the same basic materials. Heck, if your first DMOD is in this category, you deserve some credit for not having released a crappy DMOD. Lord knows I released enough of them.

"Helpin' the Ol' Duck Farmer" was close enough to that sort of DMOD to make me think of that analogy, as it's rather simple and feels like a lot of other DMODs. However, it does have a few little features that I thought pushed its TARD (Tim's Above-Replacement DMOD) score slightly into the positive range.

There's something original in the setup. Rather than Dink getting sent on a mission by the King yet again, we're told that Dink found this mission on a board at the "Hero Unemployment Bureau," which is a very amusing notion. I wish we could have actually seen this, but it's still a novel setup. Dink soon meets the Ol' Duck Farmer, who informs him of a problematic Mother Pillbug.


The ODF (that is what I am calling him now and forever) outlines the problem.

The incidental text is customized where it was possible to do so at the time. Text has been changed for the savebot, the death script and even the map key ("I don't need a map... I also forgot it"). All that old text from 1997 just reinforces the feeling that you're doing the same thing you've done before, so I appreciate it when a DMOD does as much as it can to change these things and give the player a fresh feeling, even if it's just the moment of recognizing, "Hey! They changed that." You know, I check the "Help" option in the escape menu for every DMOD. It's been actually changed maybe... twice so far? But I check anyway.


The savebot even has a push response! First time I've seen that. Several objects in this DMOD have one. Authors hardly ever bother with this.

There's not much dialogue, the only enemies in the game are pillbugs (screens and screens of pillbugs with too much HP), and the map has some bad tile joins (though I've seen much worse). There was something I liked near the end: a "resting room" with some guy hanging out in the dangerous pillbug cave. When Dink asks how he got there, he says that he just found himself there and he can't leave. Dink points out that he can't leave, and he replies, "you're not an NPC." It's a clever bit, and it's the same kind of exploration of what it means to be a video game character that I'd later do in "Malachi the Jerk," though it's a much lighter take.


Did... did Mr. T write this sign?

The boss appears to be yet another giant version of one of the common enemies, but the Mother Pillbug "gives birth" to fast moving regular pillbugs every so often when you damage her. This can become disastrous in a hurry, and it seemed impossible on my first try. On my second go, I realized that it's a lot easier if you focus on the smaller pillbugs exclusively every time they come out. DaVince deserves some credit for making a Dink Smallwood boss that benefits from a strategy more complicated than "hit and run" or "stay back and shoot." The fight might go on a bit too long, but I didn't think it was too bad.


That's the second-largest... wait, "Back from the Grave" did that joke. Damn.

Don't get me wrong, this is still a middle-of-the-road kinda romp. There are a few bugs. Most notably, Dink is sometimes not frozen for dialogues. This is a big problem when you beat the boss. If you press talk, as you'll naturally do to skip the text that comes up, the screen will never unlock, and you won't be able to return to the ODF and report your victory. And then there's the fact that, overall, it's still just a bunch of quite monotonous pillbug-punching. But I decided to focus on those features that make it stand out a little, that give it some charm of its own. I'll remember it for those moments, and not for dozens of pillbugs that take a little bit too long to kill.

Cocomonkey has released 11 files

TitleCategoryAvgUpdated
Crazy Old Tim Plays All The D-Mods Volume 2: 2005-2015 (PDF)MiscellaneousExceptional 9.7June 16th, 2018
Crazy Old Tim Plays All The D-Mods Volume 1: 1998-2004 (PDF)MiscellaneousExceptional 9.9June 16th, 2018
Dink Smallwood: Achievement Unlocked EditionD-Mod, Add-OnExceptional 9.5February 17th, 2015
Dinkgon WarriorD-Mod, QuestGood 8.0February 2nd, 2015
Malachi the JerkD-Mod, QuestGood 8.9October 6th, 2014
Crazy Old Tim Plays the DMODs of 1998MiscellaneousN/ASeptember 8th, 2014
Crazy Old Tim Plays the DMODs of 1999MiscellaneousN/ASeptember 8th, 2014
Crazy Old Tim Plays the DMODs of 2000MiscellaneousN/ASeptember 8th, 2014
Tragic Death of Zink Smallwood (The)D-Mod, RompFair 6.1May 13th, 2006
CrossroadsD-Mod, UnfinishedTolerable 3.6July 27th, 2001
End of the World (The)D-Mod, QuestTolerable 4.8March 29th, 1999

Cocomonkey has written 5 reviews

TitleFileTypeScoreDate
The best way to play Dink Smallwood GNU FreeDinkNormalExceptional 9.7March 15th, 2014
Probably the best joke DMOD Goblin TroubleNormalFair 6.9September 15th, 2013
Utterly without value Mike Dingwell's First D-ModNormalHorrible 0.2September 6th, 2013
I Really Liked the Concept For This Dmod World of DinkCFeaturedFair 6.0May 9th, 2006
This Was a Very Good Dmod Green Voice in my Head (The) - Part 1 - Hangover & AgonyFeaturedExceptional 9.0May 9th, 2006

Cocomonkey has taken 165 screenshots

ScreenshotFileDate
Preview Shadows of DeathFebruary 1st, 2015
Preview Pokemon: Bible VersionFebruary 1st, 2015
Preview Dink and the ChinsFebruary 1st, 2015
Preview Cast Awakening Part 5: RevolutionJanuary 31st, 2015
Preview Dinkgon WarriorJanuary 30th, 2015
Preview SilenceJanuary 30th, 2015
Preview Woods (The)January 29th, 2015
Preview Epochs & Aeons: Part OneJanuary 29th, 2015
Preview Bored of the RingsJanuary 26th, 2015
Preview Quest for Dorinthia III - Nymera's QuestJanuary 25th, 2015
Preview Dink and the 4 TowersJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview Dink Gets BoredJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview QuelJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview Lost Forest RompJanuary 21st, 2015
Preview Quest for Dorinthia: Special EditionJanuary 17th, 2015
Preview Trials of a Boy - Enter The IcelandJanuary 16th, 2015
Preview Karel ende ElegastJanuary 16th, 2015
Preview Goblin Wars - Breaking PointJanuary 15th, 2015
Preview ValhallaJanuary 15th, 2015
Preview Enter the Dead Dragon CarcassJanuary 11th, 2015
Preview Dink Wars (Demo)January 10th, 2015
Preview End of Snoresville (The)January 10th, 2015
Preview Fate of Destiny - DemoJanuary 9th, 2015
Preview A False HeroJanuary 9th, 2015
Preview Corporate ManagerialismJanuary 4th, 2015
Preview Dink Z TriviaJanuary 2nd, 2015
Preview Higgledy PiggledyDecember 28th, 2014
Preview Forest of DoomDecember 28th, 2014
Preview Three AmuletsDecember 28th, 2014
Preview Dink's Quest in the IcelandsDecember 27th, 2014
Preview Grasp of DarknessDecember 27th, 2014
Preview Day of the CarcassDecember 26th, 2014
Preview Defeat of the Terrorists (The)December 24th, 2014
Preview Quest for Not Quite as Lame (The)December 21st, 2014
Preview Dink and the BoncaDecember 20th, 2014
Preview A Day in the Life of Dink SmallwoodDecember 20th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Ancients: The CaptureDecember 20th, 2014
Preview An Aeophian Adventure: Dink goes to AeophiaDecember 19th, 2014
Preview InfinidinkDecember 18th, 2014
Preview Kingdom of Chaos ( The )December 17th, 2014
Preview Hero of the Time (The)December 15th, 2014
Preview Hide-n-SeekDecember 15th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Goblins (The)December 15th, 2014
Preview Of Life - Black GuildDecember 14th, 2014
Preview One Screen D-Mod CompilationDecember 14th, 2014
Preview One Screen D-Mod CompilationDecember 14th, 2014
Preview One Screen D-Mod CompilationDecember 14th, 2014
Preview Red ShieldDecember 14th, 2014
Preview Dink's Extremely Short AdventureDecember 12th, 2014
Preview Fall of DarknessDecember 12th, 2014
Preview Rise of the Goblins (The)December 12th, 2014
Preview TrappedDecember 12th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Dink III (The) - The Fall of Imperial SethDecember 10th, 2014
Preview Marco PoloDecember 10th, 2014
Preview Bill & Kill 3: The Terrible EndDecember 10th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Mutant VeggiesDecember 9th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Dink Special Edition (The) - Rand's Quest for AxeDecember 9th, 2014
Preview Bill & Kill 2: The Unknown BoyDecember 8th, 2014
Preview Adventures of Dink Smallwood Part 2: The Song of an Ancient WindDecember 8th, 2014
Preview Bill & Kill 1: *SIGH*December 8th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Dink (The) - The BeginningDecember 8th, 2014
Preview Honor of the Cast: The March of ArmyDecember 6th, 2014
Preview Crystal of the GuDecember 5th, 2014
Preview Honor of the Cast: SlimesDecember 5th, 2014
Preview Picnic PerilsDecember 5th, 2014
Preview I, Kara GuDecember 3rd, 2014
Preview Dink Goes BeachcombingDecember 3rd, 2014
Preview Call to GreatnessDecember 1st, 2014
Preview Island of HellDecember 1st, 2014
Preview Scary Beast (The)December 1st, 2014
Preview Gold Knight Agency (The)November 30th, 2014
Preview Kill Murdoock! 2 DemoNovember 30th, 2014
Preview If Ducks Ruled the WorldNovember 28th, 2014
Preview PreludeNovember 28th, 2014
Preview Return to RathorNovember 26th, 2014
Preview Ex-PeppermintNovember 25th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Evil Wizard (The)November 25th, 2014
Preview Dink Vs. Milder 2November 22nd, 2014
Preview Very Dink Christmas (A)November 22nd, 2014
Preview Once a HeroNovember 20th, 2014
Preview Quest (The)November 20th, 2014
Preview Scourger (The)November 19th, 2014
Preview Land of Transforming DucksNovember 16th, 2014
Preview Red Jacket MurdersNovember 16th, 2014
Preview Treasure Battles (The)November 16th, 2014
Preview An Age Of DarknessNovember 12th, 2014
Preview Tile PuzzleNovember 12th, 2014
Preview Dink's WorldNovember 10th, 2014
Preview Adventures of Dink Smallwood Part 1: The Town of RakunaNovember 6th, 2014
Preview Dink Learns MusicNovember 6th, 2014
Preview Dink vs. MilderNovember 6th, 2014
Preview OutlanderNovember 3rd, 2014
Preview Quest for the GemsNovember 1st, 2014
Preview Zach the Marine ExtrasOctober 23rd, 2014
Preview ApexOctober 15th, 2014
Preview ApexOctober 15th, 2014
Preview Impossible ScenariosOctober 7th, 2014
Preview Search for MotherOctober 2nd, 2014
Preview ChaosSeptember 25th, 2014
Preview Slimes VS DinkSeptember 23rd, 2014
Preview MatoyaSeptember 23rd, 2014
Preview Castle KillersSeptember 23rd, 2014
Preview Revenge of the PillbugsSeptember 21st, 2014
Preview Kill Murdoock!!!September 20th, 2014
Preview Hide-and-seekSeptember 20th, 2014
Preview DinkaventureSeptember 20th, 2014
Preview Knight's Tale Trois (A)September 20th, 2014
Preview Goblinoma ZSeptember 19th, 2014
Preview Fountain of Life (The)September 19th, 2014
Preview Triangle MoverSeptember 18th, 2014
Preview Dink's Father 3September 18th, 2014
Preview Unfinished BusinessSeptember 16th, 2014
Preview Dink Nukem - Darkland F**d Up!September 15th, 2014
Preview Bane of the MagiSeptember 11th, 2014
Preview Bane of the MagiSeptember 11th, 2014
Preview Attack of the Army (The)September 9th, 2014
Preview Dink Smallwood: Achievement Unlocked EditionSeptember 5th, 2014
Preview Ghosts of the Cast (The)September 5th, 2014
Preview Ghosts of the Cast : Seth's Revenge (The)September 5th, 2014
Preview RascalAugust 28th, 2014
Preview Beginning of EvilAugust 27th, 2014
Preview Dinkablo II: Shadow and FlameAugust 16th, 2014
Preview Glenn's First D-ModAugust 15th, 2014
Preview Castle of LoreJuly 28th, 2014
Preview DinkersJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Isle of Croth (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Friends Beyond 1July 28th, 2014
Preview Crystal of PowerJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Vagabond's Quest: Dungeon of DespairJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Friends Beyond 3: Legend of TenjinJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Beginning of SorrowsJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Rise of the RebelsJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Emerald Hunt (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Goblin Trouble 2July 28th, 2014
Preview Town Over (A)July 28th, 2014
Preview Moneyspell (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview DWTDJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Okaly-D DinkJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Legend of the DuckJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dink V. ZagorJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Secret of ParizayaJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 1: FIATJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Spy Number 13 (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Dinky Dimensions 2: End of TimeJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Monster House (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Kill the HippiesJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Quest of GlandorJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Baywatch IsleJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Legend of the Pillbug (The)July 28th, 2014
Preview Knight's Tale (A)July 28th, 2014
Preview Quest for the Golden NutJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dink RacerJuly 28th, 2014
Preview Dink's DopplegangerJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Sword of Paranor: Forgotten RealmsJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Moorack and the PillbugsJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Lost in DinkJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Dink Smallwood Goes Trick-Or-TreatingJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Richard's AttackJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Mike the MagicianJuly 27th, 2014
Preview ZoltronJuly 27th, 2014
Preview Goblin TroubleJuly 27th, 2014