I need to know how to improve
This is probably kind of an odd place to post this kind of thing, but it's been done before and I have gotten pretty used to this place and have gotten to know everyone at least enough to know that the forum isn't full of absolute pricks or something, so I'm going to post this here. I've been thinking about posting something like this before, and I've finally decided to go with it. Let's start with this scenario -
You're in a room/call with me and we're playing some game. Some powerful as shit enemy shows up and smashes us. You might think something like "That was hard. I wonder how we can defeat him." Meanwhile, I'm pretty much the opposite. "This guy's impossible. Completely overpowered", I say. "How the duck are we supposed to kill this thing? Nothing we have is strong enough to do it."
Now you feel bad. We're playing a game and up until now, it was fun for both of us. Now I'm ranting about this enemy and you're not enjoying it anymore. I've ruined it. Instead of discussing what we can do to win, I've labelled the enemy as impossible and that they didn't balance the game. The game ends with you standing in one place and then we're done for now.
That's a true story, and I hope that nothing bad comes from sharing that, even though I've left it vague enough so you can at least know what I'm talking about. Let's run through another scenario -
You tell me you want to do something. I'll just leave it up to you to decide what it is. Maybe you want to take some class or go somewhere or do something. Whatever. Just choose something. I tell you that it's pointless/dangerous/overpriced and go into some rant or something about it. Instead of supporting that decision, I've shit all over you. Now you're mad at me. I don't want to make up some excuse, but I've just done this because I care, but I do a miserable job of showing it. I do the total opposite of what I should have done. No "That's a nice idea." or "I hope it works out well". I just give you some view or something you didn't want and make you feel bad.
That is also a true story.
These are some things I struggle with really badly. For the first example, I just end up saying things before I can even begin to control myself. I just...complain right when it happens. One time, recently, I practiced not doing that and it worked alright. I was able to complete Bravely Default by just letting things slide if I lost or something. I guess I could still do that, but it's not very easy I guess.
As for rest of this post, I'm really going to choose my words carefully here. I don't want to make anything worse by making this thread. I'll admit that if I end up becoming really close with someone, I get really clingy. The feeling of not being with them sucks. This has happened multiple times and I end up just hurting said person and myself with how dependent I am. I look up a bunch of stuff out of paranoia if it's been a while or just to make sure nothing bad is happening. It's like in Harry Potter when Ron always had that radio on so that he feels better when he doesn't hear that anyone he knows has been killed or hurt by Voldemort or his minions.
Pretty much what I am leading up to is, what can I do? Do any of you experience similar things, and how do you handle it? I've gotten to the point now where certain topics are hardly, if ever, brought up to me because of how I react. And I guess neither of my examples will explain why, but just imagine there are some things you don't like to talk about and I always bring them up so that I can know what is going on. Or maybe you like something but I'm really harsh and say to you that it's bad and now you don't want to talk about it anymore. Things like that.
I don't want to ruin something great that I have that I feel I don't really deserve in the first place, but I fear that I have done some irreversible damage and that things won't go back to the way they used to be.
Long-ass post, but I guess that should be enough info. So, yeah.
You're in a room/call with me and we're playing some game. Some powerful as shit enemy shows up and smashes us. You might think something like "That was hard. I wonder how we can defeat him." Meanwhile, I'm pretty much the opposite. "This guy's impossible. Completely overpowered", I say. "How the duck are we supposed to kill this thing? Nothing we have is strong enough to do it."
Now you feel bad. We're playing a game and up until now, it was fun for both of us. Now I'm ranting about this enemy and you're not enjoying it anymore. I've ruined it. Instead of discussing what we can do to win, I've labelled the enemy as impossible and that they didn't balance the game. The game ends with you standing in one place and then we're done for now.
That's a true story, and I hope that nothing bad comes from sharing that, even though I've left it vague enough so you can at least know what I'm talking about. Let's run through another scenario -
You tell me you want to do something. I'll just leave it up to you to decide what it is. Maybe you want to take some class or go somewhere or do something. Whatever. Just choose something. I tell you that it's pointless/dangerous/overpriced and go into some rant or something about it. Instead of supporting that decision, I've shit all over you. Now you're mad at me. I don't want to make up some excuse, but I've just done this because I care, but I do a miserable job of showing it. I do the total opposite of what I should have done. No "That's a nice idea." or "I hope it works out well". I just give you some view or something you didn't want and make you feel bad.
That is also a true story.
These are some things I struggle with really badly. For the first example, I just end up saying things before I can even begin to control myself. I just...complain right when it happens. One time, recently, I practiced not doing that and it worked alright. I was able to complete Bravely Default by just letting things slide if I lost or something. I guess I could still do that, but it's not very easy I guess.
As for rest of this post, I'm really going to choose my words carefully here. I don't want to make anything worse by making this thread. I'll admit that if I end up becoming really close with someone, I get really clingy. The feeling of not being with them sucks. This has happened multiple times and I end up just hurting said person and myself with how dependent I am. I look up a bunch of stuff out of paranoia if it's been a while or just to make sure nothing bad is happening. It's like in Harry Potter when Ron always had that radio on so that he feels better when he doesn't hear that anyone he knows has been killed or hurt by Voldemort or his minions.
Pretty much what I am leading up to is, what can I do? Do any of you experience similar things, and how do you handle it? I've gotten to the point now where certain topics are hardly, if ever, brought up to me because of how I react. And I guess neither of my examples will explain why, but just imagine there are some things you don't like to talk about and I always bring them up so that I can know what is going on. Or maybe you like something but I'm really harsh and say to you that it's bad and now you don't want to talk about it anymore. Things like that.
I don't want to ruin something great that I have that I feel I don't really deserve in the first place, but I fear that I have done some irreversible damage and that things won't go back to the way they used to be.
Long-ass post, but I guess that should be enough info. So, yeah.
Well, I had a similar problem recently. I have a job at a place where I deal with lots of people, and it's getting near Christmas... Normally we get temporary help during the season, but this time, not so much. This led to me getting pretty stressed out to the point where I had a nightmare about going back to work... Heh...
Anyways, so far I've been doing good by doing two things. I decided, first of all, that I'm not going to let it get to me and no matter how much crap happens at work I'll just do my job and not stress myself out about it if something goes wrong. Then, I decided on a happy word. I chose "Zen" for some reason. I guess I like the way it sounds. When I get stressed out, I just think my happy word, along with things that make me happy, and slowly let that negative energy leave my body. Super corny, I know, but it has worked for me. I also think "I'm alive, and that's all that matters" or things along those lines. We tell ourselves something enough times, and we really start to believe it. This can be really helpful with positive thoughts.
I don't know for sure if the same solution will work for you, but I do think the root of the problem is the same: you are letting things that don't really matter that much stress you out or make you worry. Perhaps you should try to find something inside of you that makes you truly happy and use that when you are feeling down. It's tempting to lean on people and in most cases that's fine, if it's someone that really cares about you. But people are unpredictable and if we depend so much on them that we can't live without them, then we are setting ourselves up for more stress in the future. Not only that, but we're stressing them out, too. The reason I think "Zen", is because to me, that is a word that will never change meaning. It will always be "peace; at one with the world". And that is something that will always make me happy. If that's not something that makes you really happy, then maybe you need a different word or idea to think about. But I do think it helps to have something like that.
There is another tip I can give you, and this is not so much directed straight at you, but more as a reference and something that's helped me: many people, when they don't like a habit they have, they simply try to quit the habit. The problem is, they don't know what to do instead and end up going right back to the habit. In reality, you will always be more successful if you replace a bad habit with something else, usually a good habit. A good example is replacing cigarettes and coffee in the morning with a real breakfast.
I hope that was somewhat helpful. These ideas have helped me a lot, anyways. Of course I still have to battle negativity oft-times, but it's a much easier fight when I have properly geared up. I used to have other ways of coping, like trying to smile when I feel sad, but I found that doesn't really help as much as I would like. Smiling without a reason almost makes me more sad with its irony. But if you give yourself a reason to smile... then it's a lot better. Anyways, good luck!
P.S: if it's any consolation, I've never had a girlfriend in my life, and not for lack of trying. So don't feel too bad if things don't always go as you expect them to. Just try to roll with the punches as best as you can, and move on with your life.
Anyways, so far I've been doing good by doing two things. I decided, first of all, that I'm not going to let it get to me and no matter how much crap happens at work I'll just do my job and not stress myself out about it if something goes wrong. Then, I decided on a happy word. I chose "Zen" for some reason. I guess I like the way it sounds. When I get stressed out, I just think my happy word, along with things that make me happy, and slowly let that negative energy leave my body. Super corny, I know, but it has worked for me. I also think "I'm alive, and that's all that matters" or things along those lines. We tell ourselves something enough times, and we really start to believe it. This can be really helpful with positive thoughts.
I don't know for sure if the same solution will work for you, but I do think the root of the problem is the same: you are letting things that don't really matter that much stress you out or make you worry. Perhaps you should try to find something inside of you that makes you truly happy and use that when you are feeling down. It's tempting to lean on people and in most cases that's fine, if it's someone that really cares about you. But people are unpredictable and if we depend so much on them that we can't live without them, then we are setting ourselves up for more stress in the future. Not only that, but we're stressing them out, too. The reason I think "Zen", is because to me, that is a word that will never change meaning. It will always be "peace; at one with the world". And that is something that will always make me happy. If that's not something that makes you really happy, then maybe you need a different word or idea to think about. But I do think it helps to have something like that.
There is another tip I can give you, and this is not so much directed straight at you, but more as a reference and something that's helped me: many people, when they don't like a habit they have, they simply try to quit the habit. The problem is, they don't know what to do instead and end up going right back to the habit. In reality, you will always be more successful if you replace a bad habit with something else, usually a good habit. A good example is replacing cigarettes and coffee in the morning with a real breakfast.
I hope that was somewhat helpful. These ideas have helped me a lot, anyways. Of course I still have to battle negativity oft-times, but it's a much easier fight when I have properly geared up. I used to have other ways of coping, like trying to smile when I feel sad, but I found that doesn't really help as much as I would like. Smiling without a reason almost makes me more sad with its irony. But if you give yourself a reason to smile... then it's a lot better. Anyways, good luck!
P.S: if it's any consolation, I've never had a girlfriend in my life, and not for lack of trying. So don't feel too bad if things don't always go as you expect them to. Just try to roll with the punches as best as you can, and move on with your life.
DISCLAIMER: I'm a terrible writer, and im fully expecting confusion over what im saying... sorry...
One time, recently, I practiced not doing that and it worked alright. I was able to complete Bravely Default by just letting things slide if I lost or something. I guess I could still do that, but it's not very easy I guess.
Alot of people give others crap for giving adivce like: "oh, yeah. Just dont do it."
And the truth is, yeah it is pretty crap advice most of the time. But on the other hand it works wonders for me. Its just certain people i guess.
If you're one of those people who can handle just going against your'e impulses, and perhaps one day even dispelling them, then by all means go ahead. Its not meant to be easy.
Then again if thats something you're sure you cant do, you may need to try something else.
also another point i want to make is
You're choice of friends
ask yourself WHY you hang out with the people you do.
theres also the matter of how they treat you. See theres a balance to these things.
A friend may be good and encouraging, or he me be OVER encouraging to the point of meaningless flattery that does you no good.
or maybe they tear you down? make you feel worthless, of like a failure?
But then again theres a balance, your friend instead of being harsh or overly critical may be kindly keeping you down-to-earth, or helping you keep your ego in check.
Now im not saying the fault does INDEED lie with your friends and NOT you, but it is something to consider HONESTLY with yourself.
True friendship isnt all happiness and roses. Its telling your friend what THEY NEED to hear, helping them when THEY NEED it.
its about fully recognizing the faults in them, but accepting them and living with them.
(assuming the faults arent like super evil or something)
If you wanna skip all that text wall, ill just say this:
The fault you've pointed out is completely tolerable. But keep on working on it, and If your "friend" cant handle it, dump em. It aint easy but it has to be done for YOUR own good. If i were this "friend" I would bear with it fine, and trust that you recognize it and are working on it, and id give you my full support and even help, if you asked for it.
AT ANY RATE, I'll be your friend
(for what little help that'd be over the internet)
One time, recently, I practiced not doing that and it worked alright. I was able to complete Bravely Default by just letting things slide if I lost or something. I guess I could still do that, but it's not very easy I guess.
Alot of people give others crap for giving adivce like: "oh, yeah. Just dont do it."
And the truth is, yeah it is pretty crap advice most of the time. But on the other hand it works wonders for me. Its just certain people i guess.
If you're one of those people who can handle just going against your'e impulses, and perhaps one day even dispelling them, then by all means go ahead. Its not meant to be easy.
Then again if thats something you're sure you cant do, you may need to try something else.
also another point i want to make is
You're choice of friends
ask yourself WHY you hang out with the people you do.
theres also the matter of how they treat you. See theres a balance to these things.
A friend may be good and encouraging, or he me be OVER encouraging to the point of meaningless flattery that does you no good.
or maybe they tear you down? make you feel worthless, of like a failure?
But then again theres a balance, your friend instead of being harsh or overly critical may be kindly keeping you down-to-earth, or helping you keep your ego in check.
Now im not saying the fault does INDEED lie with your friends and NOT you, but it is something to consider HONESTLY with yourself.
True friendship isnt all happiness and roses. Its telling your friend what THEY NEED to hear, helping them when THEY NEED it.
its about fully recognizing the faults in them, but accepting them and living with them.
(assuming the faults arent like super evil or something)
If you wanna skip all that text wall, ill just say this:
The fault you've pointed out is completely tolerable. But keep on working on it, and If your "friend" cant handle it, dump em. It aint easy but it has to be done for YOUR own good. If i were this "friend" I would bear with it fine, and trust that you recognize it and are working on it, and id give you my full support and even help, if you asked for it.
AT ANY RATE, I'll be your friend
(for what little help that'd be over the internet)December 16th 2015, 12:39 AM
LadyCarrot
Perhaps you just need to filter what you say more?
Before acting or reacting, just form your sentences in your mind and think about how they sound and might come off, just mull things over before you say them. Good practice for doing this is when writing on forums, or writing essays even. Because it's not verbal communication you have a chance to take back what you've said before posting or submitting or showing others.
The downside is that people might start to see you as quiet and withdrawn, but it pays off if you seem more careful and considerate with the things you say.
~LC
Before acting or reacting, just form your sentences in your mind and think about how they sound and might come off, just mull things over before you say them. Good practice for doing this is when writing on forums, or writing essays even. Because it's not verbal communication you have a chance to take back what you've said before posting or submitting or showing others.
The downside is that people might start to see you as quiet and withdrawn, but it pays off if you seem more careful and considerate with the things you say.
~LC
>I've gotten to the point now where certain topics are hardly, if ever, brought up to me because of how I react.
The problem is that people tend to hate judgemental types. To get around this you sort of have to be apathetic or needlessly positive about things that may even disgust you. It might mean compromising your values but it's necessary.
If someone asks you what you think of something it's usually better to feign ignorance and ask small questions about what they think of it rather than tell then what you really do believe about it all even if you feel quite strongly about it.
That way they're more likely to bring it up in the future and expand upon it.
The problem is that people tend to hate judgemental types. To get around this you sort of have to be apathetic or needlessly positive about things that may even disgust you. It might mean compromising your values but it's necessary.
If someone asks you what you think of something it's usually better to feign ignorance and ask small questions about what they think of it rather than tell then what you really do believe about it all even if you feel quite strongly about it.
That way they're more likely to bring it up in the future and expand upon it.
you have the ability to control yourself - we had a discussion re the spam on this site some time back, and you said no more - you have stuck to that (Thank you) so it shows you are capable of anything you put your mind to - so in the end of everything its a choice (your choice) how you react to things, you can chose to let it get to you and you can chose to let it be acknowledged but not react so strongly. then if u do feel that strong you have the ability to decide not to let it control you and your actions. That doesnt take away your desire to bite something it just means it doesnt control you - you control it...
hugs
you really are a sweetie mr - you can be anything you wanna be you are smart and thoughtful and caring. We can see that side of you - hope some day you allow yourself to see it to
hugs
you really are a sweetie mr - you can be anything you wanna be you are smart and thoughtful and caring. We can see that side of you - hope some day you allow yourself to see it to I guess I should add that the tone I use at times leads to me offending someone, even really personally. I don't know if this is a completely recurring problem, but it probably is. And not just the tone too, but jumping to conclusions without giving answers very much of a chance to be given to me at all. That, though, is less occurring than the previous thing though maybe?
So, pretty much, the tone/things I say have been shitty and I don't realize until later. There have probably been times where I do notice but don't say anything though I guess.
I can't be sure on this stuff.
As for the things people have said in this thread so far, I'll try to address as many of them as I have a response too I guess.
Then, I decided on a happy word. I chose "Zen" for some reason. I guess I like the way it sounds. When I get stressed out, I just think my happy word, along with things that make me happy, and slowly let that negative energy leave my body.
I get into states, like right now, where I can't really feel that. Something really good could happen and I'd still feel bad. Not that I don't care, but my current state overpowers whatever happy feeling should be occurring.
There is another tip I can give you, and this is not so much directed straight at you, but more as a reference and something that's helped me: many people, when they don't like a habit they have, they simply try to quit the habit. The problem is, they don't know what to do instead and end up going right back to the habit.
I guess that's the cycle I have right now. I'll try to do something about it, but I don't give it much of a chance/just stop doing it/whatever, and I go back to what I was doing before. The complaining thing has been brought up multiple times and I feel awful for failing this bad.
Alot of people give others crap for giving adivce like: "oh, yeah. Just dont do it."
And the truth is, yeah it is pretty crap advice most of the time. But on the other hand it works wonders for me. Its just certain people i guess.
Are you pretty much saying that the Shia Labeouf-style advice is bad? Because I agree. "Just do it" and "Just don't do it" are really weak. It is definitely not that easy.
Now im not saying the fault does INDEED lie with your friends and NOT you, but it is something to consider HONESTLY with yourself.
True friendship isnt all happiness and roses. Its telling your friend what THEY NEED to hear, helping them when THEY NEED it.
its about fully recognizing the faults in them, but accepting them and living with them.
(assuming the faults arent like super evil or something)
The fault is all on me. I'm the one that's in the wrong and I've been for so long. I honestly don't get why people bother with me, but I want to be able to give a reason to.
"its about fully recognizing the faults in them, but accepting them and living with them." Maybe that's why. But how long before people just give up and avoid me completely?
The fault you've pointed out is completely tolerable.
It really isn't, if you're meaning how overly complainy/insensitive I am.
AT ANY RATE, I'll be your friend (for what little help that'd be over the internet)
<3 <3 <3
Before acting or reacting, just form your sentences in your mind and think about how they sound and might come off, just mull things over before you say them.
That's the thing though. I just do it. There's no thought process prior. Something could happen and I just react like on some primal impulse or something. Or if there is, I don't hold it back and I complain anyways.
hugs you really are a sweetie mr - you can be anything you wanna be you are smart and thoughtful and caring. We can see that side of you - hope some day you allow yourself to see it to
I guess I can see that the caring can go so far that it feels like it loops around to being oblivious to things and making it appear like I don't.
So, pretty much, the tone/things I say have been shitty and I don't realize until later. There have probably been times where I do notice but don't say anything though I guess.
I can't be sure on this stuff.
As for the things people have said in this thread so far, I'll try to address as many of them as I have a response too I guess.
Then, I decided on a happy word. I chose "Zen" for some reason. I guess I like the way it sounds. When I get stressed out, I just think my happy word, along with things that make me happy, and slowly let that negative energy leave my body.
I get into states, like right now, where I can't really feel that. Something really good could happen and I'd still feel bad. Not that I don't care, but my current state overpowers whatever happy feeling should be occurring.
There is another tip I can give you, and this is not so much directed straight at you, but more as a reference and something that's helped me: many people, when they don't like a habit they have, they simply try to quit the habit. The problem is, they don't know what to do instead and end up going right back to the habit.
I guess that's the cycle I have right now. I'll try to do something about it, but I don't give it much of a chance/just stop doing it/whatever, and I go back to what I was doing before. The complaining thing has been brought up multiple times and I feel awful for failing this bad.
Alot of people give others crap for giving adivce like: "oh, yeah. Just dont do it."
And the truth is, yeah it is pretty crap advice most of the time. But on the other hand it works wonders for me. Its just certain people i guess.
Are you pretty much saying that the Shia Labeouf-style advice is bad? Because I agree. "Just do it" and "Just don't do it" are really weak. It is definitely not that easy.
Now im not saying the fault does INDEED lie with your friends and NOT you, but it is something to consider HONESTLY with yourself.
True friendship isnt all happiness and roses. Its telling your friend what THEY NEED to hear, helping them when THEY NEED it.
its about fully recognizing the faults in them, but accepting them and living with them.
(assuming the faults arent like super evil or something)
The fault is all on me. I'm the one that's in the wrong and I've been for so long. I honestly don't get why people bother with me, but I want to be able to give a reason to.
"its about fully recognizing the faults in them, but accepting them and living with them." Maybe that's why. But how long before people just give up and avoid me completely?
The fault you've pointed out is completely tolerable.
It really isn't, if you're meaning how overly complainy/insensitive I am.
AT ANY RATE, I'll be your friend (for what little help that'd be over the internet)
<3 <3 <3
Before acting or reacting, just form your sentences in your mind and think about how they sound and might come off, just mull things over before you say them.
That's the thing though. I just do it. There's no thought process prior. Something could happen and I just react like on some primal impulse or something. Or if there is, I don't hold it back and I complain anyways.
hugs you really are a sweetie mr - you can be anything you wanna be you are smart and thoughtful and caring. We can see that side of you - hope some day you allow yourself to see it to
I guess I can see that the caring can go so far that it feels like it loops around to being oblivious to things and making it appear like I don't.
From what I've seen of you on the board and in the chat, I'd say that saying what you think is probably your best quality. Most people are just dishonest all the time, because it makes social interactions run smoother. Being able to give your frank, blunt opinion is a rare and great trait, especially if you can be that way with friends. Don't even try to filter that, in my opinion, you'll just become a more boring and mediocre person.
However, I can see how being constantly pessimistic and incensed as well as honest could get pretty insufferable...
Basically, you need to come to terms with the fact that Baldur's Gate is the most greatest awesome RPG of all time.
However, I can see how being constantly pessimistic and incensed as well as honest could get pretty insufferable...
Basically, you need to come to terms with the fact that Baldur's Gate is the most greatest awesome RPG of all time.
Man, Skurn you're my missing brother. I react the same. Pessimistic, cynical analytical guy who tries to love everyone, even when they clearly don't interest anymore (and vice versa). So I've started drinking and smoking weed whenever I can. You find your own solution.
Edit (sorry for cursing):
Everything is still ducked up, but it doesn't matter anymore. Then you realise that everything was always ducked up, but theres a iny tiny miny difference in your attitude. At some point, you'll find new people and things to do. And its important to do things that you like and enjoy...
I always wanted to play a guitar, but I didnt have the money, time, anyone to show me basics etc... One night, during my narcoholic moments, Ive decided to make a phone call. I'm a decent guitarist now
Edit (sorry for cursing):
Everything is still ducked up, but it doesn't matter anymore. Then you realise that everything was always ducked up, but theres a iny tiny miny difference in your attitude. At some point, you'll find new people and things to do. And its important to do things that you like and enjoy...
I always wanted to play a guitar, but I didnt have the money, time, anyone to show me basics etc... One night, during my narcoholic moments, Ive decided to make a phone call. I'm a decent guitarist now
Well, as far as social graces, there's probably some middle-ground between bluntly speaking your mind and not voicing your opinion, though it usually requires a certain degree of tact. I am also not very good at this, but I'm working on it.
I have had some of the same defeatist, negative attitude, though for me it came from a pretty... ducked-up upbringing (FYI, parents, please don't give your kids shit for trying and failing, or even trying and not doing something perfectly, it's how they ducking learn). I still can get that way from time to time about certain "adulting" aspects of life and it's not fun. Not sure the details for you, but it's probably likely that that attitude was learned in some way. The best way I've found to fight that attitude is to keep making small, incrementally more difficult victories in life so that you have examples to show yourself that what you might think is impossible is actually a surmountable challenge.
Not sure what to say about the clingyness as that's something I haven't had much experience with, but have you considered trying to find a good therapist? They might be able to do a lot more good than a bunch of us on a forum can.
I have had some of the same defeatist, negative attitude, though for me it came from a pretty... ducked-up upbringing (FYI, parents, please don't give your kids shit for trying and failing, or even trying and not doing something perfectly, it's how they ducking learn). I still can get that way from time to time about certain "adulting" aspects of life and it's not fun. Not sure the details for you, but it's probably likely that that attitude was learned in some way. The best way I've found to fight that attitude is to keep making small, incrementally more difficult victories in life so that you have examples to show yourself that what you might think is impossible is actually a surmountable challenge.
Not sure what to say about the clingyness as that's something I haven't had much experience with, but have you considered trying to find a good therapist? They might be able to do a lot more good than a bunch of us on a forum can.
Not sure what to say about the clingyness as that's something I haven't had much experience with, but have you considered trying to find a good therapist? They might be able to do a lot more good than a bunch of us on a forum can.
Definitely not.
Definitely not.
Why do you say that? I mean, doesn't that just go back into your "no, this is crap and impossible" mindset?
No, it's just that they're after money and the bills and whatever garbage they try to prescribe won't help a bit.
i mean it is a matter of opinion... But i personally am with skurn on that one...
I remember being on multiple things before and they did nothing good. On school days I just remember waking up tired as duck, and not just because it was way too early to do so.
Well, that's why I said a good therapist. Most are crap, but a good one that "gets you" can be quite useful. Still, my experience is that they're generally pretty useless when you're a kid and don't have much say about your life or enough self-knowledge about yourself for them to do any good. You basically have to drive your own treatment. When you're older and can dump the ones you find useless, it's a bit easier to find one worth a damn. Definitely avoid psychiatrists (the ones who give meds) until you think you have a good idea on what's up with you since, honestly, most people on meds don't really need them.
For whatever it's worth, you definitely aren't alone. I know that I have many, many flaws. Humans are flawed creatures to begin with. The more one learns about the human brain, the more flawed one comes to realize that it is. And that applies to everyone.
I don't know what my friends really think about me, but who really does?
I know two of my friends who are piss-negative about everything, and the only reason I'm really hanging out with them is because we've been classmates, or rather, labmates for several years. During that time, they haven't changed at all. They won't try new things, like play a new popular game, because the tumblers and the /v/ and whatnot have said stuff about the games so when we talk about it, only negatives come from the other end.
I don't get that, how can a word like "overhyped" exist? We talked about the new Star Wars movie (that I saw yesterday, it was awesome) and right off the bat: "It's so overhyped, I pretty much know what's gonna happen, the presequels sucked bla bla bla". They haven't even seen it yet, just stop talking! Of course they waft away my optimism and it ends with me being left out/sad/etc. It's this kind of behaviour that puzzles me the most among people. We can't do pretty much anything together without finding indifferences in something, it's annoying but if that's the way it's gonna be, fine. Try to accept things and don't get pissed about them not being the way you want.
So don't turn out like these misfits, everyone. Try to think positively about everything at first, don't question or rant right away, give it a chance. It certainly makes you a better person. Best of luck, Skurn.
I know two of my friends who are piss-negative about everything, and the only reason I'm really hanging out with them is because we've been classmates, or rather, labmates for several years. During that time, they haven't changed at all. They won't try new things, like play a new popular game, because the tumblers and the /v/ and whatnot have said stuff about the games so when we talk about it, only negatives come from the other end.
I don't get that, how can a word like "overhyped" exist? We talked about the new Star Wars movie (that I saw yesterday, it was awesome) and right off the bat: "It's so overhyped, I pretty much know what's gonna happen, the presequels sucked bla bla bla". They haven't even seen it yet, just stop talking! Of course they waft away my optimism and it ends with me being left out/sad/etc. It's this kind of behaviour that puzzles me the most among people. We can't do pretty much anything together without finding indifferences in something, it's annoying but if that's the way it's gonna be, fine. Try to accept things and don't get pissed about them not being the way you want.
So don't turn out like these misfits, everyone. Try to think positively about everything at first, don't question or rant right away, give it a chance. It certainly makes you a better person. Best of luck, Skurn.
The thing is, I often give things a chance, but if it's not good or even if it is good, but something happens, I automatically call it bullshit.
I could seriously like a game or whatever and call it a piece of shit.
I could seriously like a game or whatever and call it a piece of shit.
I too saw the new Star Wars yesterday. I had low expectations when I first heard about it, but they went about making it and advertising it (the trailers told very little of the story while still making it look great) in pretty much the best way they could have. And then the movie turned out being good and I enjoyed it quite a lot.
I saw star wars today. I wasn't really a fan of it. It felt way too fanservice-y to me, the writing was lackluster and every plot point was predictable. It seemed like it relied way too much on cgi and plot convenience than good storytelling. I can understand why people enjoyed it. I just expected much more from it and it failed to deliver. It certainly felt like a star wars film though.
That's fair enough. Without spoiling anything, it has a little too much repeats from previous entries in the series. And it's certainly not perfect either. But I would say I enjoyed it more than episode I or II, and it has me excited for VIII and IX. And like the original trilogy, the director is not the same for each episode. So if nothing else, it should be interesting to see where it goes from here.
To Skurn's problem, he could try asking Rob or his girlfriend for some help they work on the mind, his girlfriend's a therapist or something of the like. You could also try to test speaking with us a little and see how much you upset us and then we can give you advice on whether your tone/speaking is good or not.
I'll begin with a comedic moment ... at page bottom is some random quote found somewhere on this site. Bottom of this page for me is, ("I remember poking pong into my Vic20." - millimeter.) This must be from 2005'ish, but seems appropriately places when I think about it.
In a way, I was blessed with an awesome Nana. Sometimes, if she felt an action I was considering could cause me harm or disappointment, she may have cautioned me about the possible negative outcomes, but reminded me that the decision was ultimately mine. Most times though, she simply allowed me to learn through my own actions.
I have tried to include that in my life and have passed that same mindset to my own children, with a little something more. I believe that when a person is considering an action, anyone who can be impacted by that decision is entitled to voice their opinion to the level that they may be impacted by it. Anyone who will not be impacted by the decision, should not presume their vote counts. Perhaps their opinion will count to someone actually asking for it, but if it isn't asked for then your opinion is exactly that, yours and often times it's best kept to yourself.
I have worked in IT for the last 20+ years and have encountered many different personality types. One thing that has become clear is that many people who feel they do not have complete control over themselves for what ever reason. Whether their sense of loss of control is caused by social of financial situations, choosing the wrong people to associate with, work with or for, or simply the ever evolving society model, their lack of control of self quickly escalates into loss of self control. This then, oftentimes, escalates into believing that if they can manage to gain control of everyone around them or all situations they will be involved in, there is a false belief that magically they will also gain control of themselves.
Based solely on your writing in this post, it reads like you are allowing chaos to define your actions and subconsciously presuming that gaining control of your environment and everything in it, must include gaining control of yourself. If so, then I suggest that gaining control of yourself is much more important than trying to gain control of anything else. Becoming aware that there is a problem is the first and biggest step, so now your next step is to determine how you can bring it into a manageable manner.
To be blunt, if the other person's decision cannot directly impact you then your opinion isn't needed unless asked for. Even when you vehemently disagree with another person's decision that cannot impact you at all, your only acceptable action is to agree with their having sole right to make that decision. Chances are, the best way to indicate you agree with that right, is to say nothing and smile gently.
If you truly feel you have offended someone important to you, like a significant other, a meant apology is never a bad thing. It's not guaranteed to make them like you again immediately, but it does allow the beginning of the healing process.
If I have managed to offend you in anyway with my post, suck it up buttercup. I've been here nearly as long as you (unless you discount for my prolonged absence) and there's a strong likelihood I out-kid you by up to 4.
Seriously though, I think you are about to round the corner because you have reached out for guidance. I also think you are about to grow tremendously as a person and from what I've read of you so far, you won't be transitioning from Bad to Good but rather, from Good with Issues to Great.
Mm.
Aka, Wee-Lamm.
In a way, I was blessed with an awesome Nana. Sometimes, if she felt an action I was considering could cause me harm or disappointment, she may have cautioned me about the possible negative outcomes, but reminded me that the decision was ultimately mine. Most times though, she simply allowed me to learn through my own actions.
I have tried to include that in my life and have passed that same mindset to my own children, with a little something more. I believe that when a person is considering an action, anyone who can be impacted by that decision is entitled to voice their opinion to the level that they may be impacted by it. Anyone who will not be impacted by the decision, should not presume their vote counts. Perhaps their opinion will count to someone actually asking for it, but if it isn't asked for then your opinion is exactly that, yours and often times it's best kept to yourself.
I have worked in IT for the last 20+ years and have encountered many different personality types. One thing that has become clear is that many people who feel they do not have complete control over themselves for what ever reason. Whether their sense of loss of control is caused by social of financial situations, choosing the wrong people to associate with, work with or for, or simply the ever evolving society model, their lack of control of self quickly escalates into loss of self control. This then, oftentimes, escalates into believing that if they can manage to gain control of everyone around them or all situations they will be involved in, there is a false belief that magically they will also gain control of themselves.
Based solely on your writing in this post, it reads like you are allowing chaos to define your actions and subconsciously presuming that gaining control of your environment and everything in it, must include gaining control of yourself. If so, then I suggest that gaining control of yourself is much more important than trying to gain control of anything else. Becoming aware that there is a problem is the first and biggest step, so now your next step is to determine how you can bring it into a manageable manner.
To be blunt, if the other person's decision cannot directly impact you then your opinion isn't needed unless asked for. Even when you vehemently disagree with another person's decision that cannot impact you at all, your only acceptable action is to agree with their having sole right to make that decision. Chances are, the best way to indicate you agree with that right, is to say nothing and smile gently.
If you truly feel you have offended someone important to you, like a significant other, a meant apology is never a bad thing. It's not guaranteed to make them like you again immediately, but it does allow the beginning of the healing process.
If I have managed to offend you in anyway with my post, suck it up buttercup. I've been here nearly as long as you (unless you discount for my prolonged absence) and there's a strong likelihood I out-kid you by up to 4.
Seriously though, I think you are about to round the corner because you have reached out for guidance. I also think you are about to grow tremendously as a person and from what I've read of you so far, you won't be transitioning from Bad to Good but rather, from Good with Issues to Great.
Mm.
Aka, Wee-Lamm.
I thought the new Star Wars was ok. It was actually less predictable than I imagined, probably because they copied the original movie way more than I thought they would. Not sure if that was necessarily a bad or a good thing. I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but I enjoy them all, both the original trilogy and the prequels. This was no exception. I wish people would remember that, in the end, they're kids' movies and shouldn't be taken super seriously.
Also, am I the only one who thinks Adam Driver looks a bit like Hayden Christensen? Like, not a lot, but there's some small similarity there that makes them look alike. Wonder if they did that on purpose?
Also, am I the only one who thinks Adam Driver looks a bit like Hayden Christensen? Like, not a lot, but there's some small similarity there that makes them look alike. Wonder if they did that on purpose?
In my honest opinion, being bluntly honest is a good trait to have, it shows you are dependable and, well, honest. However, your problem with your tendency to shut down when a challenge outside of your current skillset or level is a hindrance, to which I'd suggest exposure therapy in which you are given progressively harder challenges, and then a difficulty spike that allows you to implement information you have learned and practiced multiple times to overcome what would usually be impossible odds. This being a first step toward overcoming that, you would be better equipped to deal with situations such as that.
Dack's suggestion is good I guess, but I don't know how we could go about that. I mean, we're pretty much all on Steam, so.
:|
:|
Hypnosis, maybe? Or sending drugs around the world, there aren't laws or anything.
These sort of threads are why I love this forum. Thanks to everyone again for helping people who ask for it. Here's my own attempt:
As you have probably noticed on the forum, I have some pretty strong opinions and am not very good at keeping them to myself. While I agree with scratcher that this is a good quality, it can easily get annoying as well. And in a discussion it is very unlikely to change anyone's mind.
But I really disagree with yeoldetoast on the solution. Instead I recommend the Socratic method: asking questions which should lead the person to saying stupid things. The idea is not to make them look stupid, but to make them realize that what they think doesn't make sense. On the other hand, there is a very real possibility that they will answer in an unexpected way that shows their ideas aren't stupid (and perhaps yours are). Because you have not yet given away your own position, it is easier for you to change it (or at least that's my experience; even though I like to think I am open to being convinced by good arguments, I find that in reality I'm more open to it as long as I haven't been arguing for anything).
For example, if someone says "I want a gun to keep me and my family safe", I very much want to tell them that they are completely wrong. But that doesn't work (I've tried ). The Socractic method is asking questions like "How do you make sure your children can't get their hands on the gun?" and "I've seen research which shows that people with guns are more likely to die, do you think that is incorrect? Do you know of research that supports your position? Or is the research not relevant to your position?" I've tried that as well. I'm not sure yet if it worked better in terms of convincing anyone, but it certainly keeps things more friendly: they see that I'm interested in their opinion, as opposed to forcing my opinion on them.
That's also my advice in pretty much all social matters (including finding a romantic partner): be interested in the other person, and show your interest by asking them about their opinions on anything that you care about. It doesn't make everyone your friend, and that's fine. It does make the right people more likely to become your friends.
Finally, you mention that you can be clingy. That's something to work on: it's something that really scares people away. If you aren't sure how often a (potential) friend would like to have contact with you, talk about it. If you find that you want more contact then they do, try to find more friends so they can all have enough time with you to keep them happy, while you also see people enough time to keep you happy. Different people have different needs for how much contact they need, so they're not rejecting you if they don't want to see you as much as you may want to see them. I personally don't need much, and I want to be alone quite a bit. I have friends who need much more contact. I can't give that to them (because that makes me unhappy). But I can give them a bit, and if others do that, too, it keeps us all happy.
As you have probably noticed on the forum, I have some pretty strong opinions and am not very good at keeping them to myself. While I agree with scratcher that this is a good quality, it can easily get annoying as well. And in a discussion it is very unlikely to change anyone's mind.
But I really disagree with yeoldetoast on the solution. Instead I recommend the Socratic method: asking questions which should lead the person to saying stupid things. The idea is not to make them look stupid, but to make them realize that what they think doesn't make sense. On the other hand, there is a very real possibility that they will answer in an unexpected way that shows their ideas aren't stupid (and perhaps yours are). Because you have not yet given away your own position, it is easier for you to change it (or at least that's my experience; even though I like to think I am open to being convinced by good arguments, I find that in reality I'm more open to it as long as I haven't been arguing for anything).
For example, if someone says "I want a gun to keep me and my family safe", I very much want to tell them that they are completely wrong. But that doesn't work (I've tried
). The Socractic method is asking questions like "How do you make sure your children can't get their hands on the gun?" and "I've seen research which shows that people with guns are more likely to die, do you think that is incorrect? Do you know of research that supports your position? Or is the research not relevant to your position?" I've tried that as well. I'm not sure yet if it worked better in terms of convincing anyone, but it certainly keeps things more friendly: they see that I'm interested in their opinion, as opposed to forcing my opinion on them.That's also my advice in pretty much all social matters (including finding a romantic partner): be interested in the other person, and show your interest by asking them about their opinions on anything that you care about. It doesn't make everyone your friend, and that's fine. It does make the right people more likely to become your friends.
Finally, you mention that you can be clingy. That's something to work on: it's something that really scares people away. If you aren't sure how often a (potential) friend would like to have contact with you, talk about it. If you find that you want more contact then they do, try to find more friends so they can all have enough time with you to keep them happy, while you also see people enough time to keep you happy. Different people have different needs for how much contact they need, so they're not rejecting you if they don't want to see you as much as you may want to see them. I personally don't need much, and I want to be alone quite a bit. I have friends who need much more contact. I can't give that to them (because that makes me unhappy). But I can give them a bit, and if others do that, too, it keeps us all happy.
Shevek makes some valid points, if the other person is actually seeking your input. It would be different if you are giving unsolicited input.
From your original post, I don't want to ruin something great that I have that I feel I don't really deserve in the first place, but I fear that I have done some irreversible damage and that things won't go back to the way they used to be.
You should ask yourself why you felt you didn't deserve the great things. I think a little humbility is a good thing, I include that with my music. I know where my strengths and limitations are, but I don't allow myself to become over confident and cocky, I am slightly embarrassed when someone compliments my performance.
If you're feeling of not deserving it is based on a low self esteem, finding smaller things to succeed at can go a long way to learning how to appreciate yourself. Simply, if you don't love yourself, it's difficult for others to love you fully and even harder to recognize when they do. Being human, we can easily over-think that in both directions.
If it's more of a realization that you don't deserve "that one", figuring out what you do deserve and comparing that to what you want to deserve, can help you sort out what you need to adjust in yourself to be closer to who you ultimately want to be.
Back to my original point though, sometimes people tell us what they have in mind for themselves because they do value and desire our opinions but 85% of the time, they don't want our opinion ... they just want someone to listen to them without answering, and 50% of those times, they want us to agree with some part of it. If the only thing we can agree with is that they have the right to make their own choices, that is good enough.
From your original post, I don't want to ruin something great that I have that I feel I don't really deserve in the first place, but I fear that I have done some irreversible damage and that things won't go back to the way they used to be.
You should ask yourself why you felt you didn't deserve the great things. I think a little humbility is a good thing, I include that with my music. I know where my strengths and limitations are, but I don't allow myself to become over confident and cocky, I am slightly embarrassed when someone compliments my performance.
If you're feeling of not deserving it is based on a low self esteem, finding smaller things to succeed at can go a long way to learning how to appreciate yourself. Simply, if you don't love yourself, it's difficult for others to love you fully and even harder to recognize when they do. Being human, we can easily over-think that in both directions.
If it's more of a realization that you don't deserve "that one", figuring out what you do deserve and comparing that to what you want to deserve, can help you sort out what you need to adjust in yourself to be closer to who you ultimately want to be.
Back to my original point though, sometimes people tell us what they have in mind for themselves because they do value and desire our opinions but 85% of the time, they don't want our opinion ... they just want someone to listen to them without answering, and 50% of those times, they want us to agree with some part of it. If the only thing we can agree with is that they have the right to make their own choices, that is good enough.
I mostly agree with mm, but I'd like to clarify some things:
Shevek makes some valid points, if the other person is actually seeking your input. It would be different if you are giving unsolicited input.
85% of the time, they don't want our opinion
50% of those times, they want us to agree with some part of it.
The nice thing about the Socratic method is that you can get unexpected answers that may convince you the other person understands things better than you do. You aren't asking for that, but it may happen anyway. And if it does, it feels great.
This also works the other way. If they don't want our opinion, but do want us to agree, they will be open to answering questions about what they are saying. If you are careful (avoid inserting new facts into the questions), you can use the Socratic method to make them think about their position, which can lead to them changing it. If it does, it feels great for them.
It is very important that you do this for the purpose of helping them think about things, not for the purpose of making them agree with you. As long as you want to convince them more than you want them to think, don't try it. If they feel that you are preaching, they will not like you. And that's understandable: would you like someone who wants to convince you at a time when you need someone to listen?
On the other hand, I do like people who help me to clear my thoughts. Even more if it results in me finding contradictions in my opinions. So doing this is also a way to find people I want to be friends with: there are people who don't want to think. That is perfectly acceptable, and they are not bad people. But at the same time, I prefer to have friends that do want to think. So if someone dislikes me for doing this, it's not a loss. In fact, it's a win, because it makes sure both of us will not waste any more time with each other.
You should ask yourself why you felt you didn't deserve the great things.
I've met several people who have low self esteem. Sometimes they even think that other people in the exact same situation do deserve great things, but they don't. It's extremely hard to get rid of that feeling. It's very much worth it, but I'm afraid I don't know how to do it. But I'll speculate anyway.
For your happiness, I would suggest to fake it: when good things are happening to you, even if you feel inside that you don't deserve them, pretend that you do. The reason is that everybody will agree that you deserve them (well, everyone who matters anyway). And if you do this a while, you may start believing it yourself as well.
Of course it doesn't mean you can't talk about your insecurity. It just means that you shouldn't refuse good things that are coming your way. When it's about relationships, you may feel the person you love deserves a better partner than you. Don't do that. If they want to be your partner, be happy with it. They will be happy with you as well. If it doesn't work out, it should never be because you think they are too good for you, but only because one of you doesn't want it (which doesn't mean the other person isn't worth it, just that you both would be happier with someone else). If you love and trust someone, accept their decision if they want to be with you.
Shevek makes some valid points, if the other person is actually seeking your input. It would be different if you are giving unsolicited input.
85% of the time, they don't want our opinion
50% of those times, they want us to agree with some part of it.
The nice thing about the Socratic method is that you can get unexpected answers that may convince you the other person understands things better than you do. You aren't asking for that, but it may happen anyway. And if it does, it feels great.
This also works the other way. If they don't want our opinion, but do want us to agree, they will be open to answering questions about what they are saying. If you are careful (avoid inserting new facts into the questions), you can use the Socratic method to make them think about their position, which can lead to them changing it. If it does, it feels great for them.
It is very important that you do this for the purpose of helping them think about things, not for the purpose of making them agree with you. As long as you want to convince them more than you want them to think, don't try it. If they feel that you are preaching, they will not like you. And that's understandable: would you like someone who wants to convince you at a time when you need someone to listen?
On the other hand, I do like people who help me to clear my thoughts. Even more if it results in me finding contradictions in my opinions. So doing this is also a way to find people I want to be friends with: there are people who don't want to think. That is perfectly acceptable, and they are not bad people. But at the same time, I prefer to have friends that do want to think. So if someone dislikes me for doing this, it's not a loss. In fact, it's a win, because it makes sure both of us will not waste any more time with each other.
You should ask yourself why you felt you didn't deserve the great things.
I've met several people who have low self esteem. Sometimes they even think that other people in the exact same situation do deserve great things, but they don't. It's extremely hard to get rid of that feeling. It's very much worth it, but I'm afraid I don't know how to do it. But I'll speculate anyway.
For your happiness, I would suggest to fake it: when good things are happening to you, even if you feel inside that you don't deserve them, pretend that you do. The reason is that everybody will agree that you deserve them (well, everyone who matters anyway). And if you do this a while, you may start believing it yourself as well.Of course it doesn't mean you can't talk about your insecurity. It just means that you shouldn't refuse good things that are coming your way. When it's about relationships, you may feel the person you love deserves a better partner than you. Don't do that. If they want to be your partner, be happy with it. They will be happy with you as well. If it doesn't work out, it should never be because you think they are too good for you, but only because one of you doesn't want it (which doesn't mean the other person isn't worth it, just that you both would be happier with someone else). If you love and trust someone, accept their decision if they want to be with you.
I learn a lot when performing my music, is seeing how other people interpret it and sometimes, it relates to something about them, which is amazing to witness. Sometimes, when they describe what the song says it is so far from what I thought it was saying to me, but that doesn't mean their opinion is wrong.
I resist every urge I have to correct them by trying to convince them of what I meant to say. At the same time, some of my songs intentionally leave enough space that each listener can internalize it to their own feelings. When that happens, I know I have succeeded in accomplishing more than merely scribbling out a few words.
In the grand scheme of things, my personally dictates that they don't necessarily have to reach the same conclusion I have but merely that something I said or did, helped them to reach their own conclusion.
Just thought I'd add that into the mix, because most people want to only a few basic things. They want to feel like they belong to something, they want to know that the fact they have an opinion matters, and they like to have their brief moments where they are the star.
Pausing here, I think my habit of writing more words than I need proves that I too need my moments to feel in charge of the moment.
I resist every urge I have to correct them by trying to convince them of what I meant to say. At the same time, some of my songs intentionally leave enough space that each listener can internalize it to their own feelings. When that happens, I know I have succeeded in accomplishing more than merely scribbling out a few words.
In the grand scheme of things, my personally dictates that they don't necessarily have to reach the same conclusion I have but merely that something I said or did, helped them to reach their own conclusion.
Just thought I'd add that into the mix, because most people want to only a few basic things. They want to feel like they belong to something, they want to know that the fact they have an opinion matters, and they like to have their brief moments where they are the star.
Pausing here, I think my habit of writing more words than I need proves that I too need my moments to feel in charge of the moment.
Sometimes, when they describe what the song says it is so far from what I thought it was saying to me, but that doesn't mean their opinion is wrong.
Ah yes, thank you for mentioning this. I had not thought of subjective things like that, where there is no right or wrong. And even if there is (you can sometimes find out what the artist meant by analyzing the work very closely), I agree that happy people do not need to be corrected when they are wrong, as long as it doesn't hurt others. (But in some cases being right may make them even more happy. Life is complex.)
I was mostly thinking about politics and religion. People's opinions about those subjects normally influence their behavior, so being wrong can hurt other people. For that reason, I like them to be right. But as I wrote, that's only secondary. My main reason is that I know I prefer being right about things, and I like it when others help me get there. I'm doing that service to others with pleasure.
Again, this has nothing to do with art for me. If people enjoy art, I couldn't care less if their idea doesn't match that of the artist.
my habit of writing more words than I need
Where have I seen that before? I think I know someone else who has that tendency.
Ah yes, thank you for mentioning this. I had not thought of subjective things like that, where there is no right or wrong. And even if there is (you can sometimes find out what the artist meant by analyzing the work very closely), I agree that happy people do not need to be corrected when they are wrong, as long as it doesn't hurt others. (But in some cases being right may make them even more happy. Life is complex.)
I was mostly thinking about politics and religion. People's opinions about those subjects normally influence their behavior, so being wrong can hurt other people. For that reason, I like them to be right. But as I wrote, that's only secondary. My main reason is that I know I prefer being right about things, and I like it when others help me get there. I'm doing that service to others with pleasure.
Again, this has nothing to do with art for me. If people enjoy art, I couldn't care less if their idea doesn't match that of the artist.
my habit of writing more words than I need
Where have I seen that before? I think I know someone else who has that tendency.
For your happiness, I would suggest to fake it: when good things are happening to you, even if you feel inside that you don't deserve them, pretend that you do.
Are you saying to pretend to be happy when good things happen or just pretend in general, because either way, pretending to be hapy is a preeeeetty shitty thing to do. I don't think I could ever pull that off. Not only do I not want to pretend, but I probably couldn't anyways.
As for the other stuff: Wat. Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point, because I don't know if this stuff really applies to the stuff I wrote. It doesn't have to be I guess, but I'm horrible at following anything you two are writing these days. I'm too stoop.
Let's try to pick something out that appears to be the topic ...
Instead I recommend the Socratic method: asking questions which should lead the person to saying stupid things. The idea is not to make them look stupid, but to make them realize that what they think doesn't make sense.
I think I can reply to that by just pasting this other thing -
Back to my original point though, sometimes people tell us what they have in mind for themselves because they do value and desire our opinions but 85% of the time, they don't want our opinion ... they just want someone to listen to them without answering, and 50% of those times, they want us to agree with some part of it.
Millimeter's right, I think. I tend to criticize everything, but no one wants it/cares. And it's obviously not something any of us want.
Are you saying to pretend to be happy when good things happen or just pretend in general, because either way, pretending to be hapy is a preeeeetty shitty thing to do. I don't think I could ever pull that off. Not only do I not want to pretend, but I probably couldn't anyways.
As for the other stuff: Wat. Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point, because I don't know if this stuff really applies to the stuff I wrote. It doesn't have to be I guess, but I'm horrible at following anything you two are writing these days. I'm too stoop.
Let's try to pick something out that appears to be the topic ...
Instead I recommend the Socratic method: asking questions which should lead the person to saying stupid things. The idea is not to make them look stupid, but to make them realize that what they think doesn't make sense.
I think I can reply to that by just pasting this other thing -
Back to my original point though, sometimes people tell us what they have in mind for themselves because they do value and desire our opinions but 85% of the time, they don't want our opinion ... they just want someone to listen to them without answering, and 50% of those times, they want us to agree with some part of it.
Millimeter's right, I think. I tend to criticize everything, but no one wants it/cares. And it's obviously not something any of us want.
I tend to criticize everything, but no one wants it/cares.
I just want to clarify, it's not always a case that "they" don't care to hear "you're" opinion, save for the fact that you are the one they are talking to at the moment. People in general don't want to be told they are wrong unless the specifically ask for opinions.
Many people just want an audience and at the same time, it's human instinct to want to correct people or help them out of their own stupidity, whether they want it or not. I don't think you are stupid, I think you are at a point of positive change, based on the fact you are bold enough to ask in a public forum.
The "fake it til you make it" notion does have it's uses. When I perform, I start out extremely nervous and I am often surprised I can sing a single note, so I smile a little and force the first one out ... not forcing it in a physical way, but mentally force myself to let it out. Once I've gotten a few notes out it gets easier and by the time I've sang a couple complete lines, I lose much of the nervousness to music.
When it comes to being around people, I don't suggest lying about how you feel, when you are dealing with a specific person. Sometimes though, when we are simply in a public setting or even by ourselves, acting happy in the way we wish to be can slowly take hold and merge with who we are.
Imagine being a car salesperson, they have to be "on" if they want to impress the customer to make a sale. In dealing with other people, we are selling ourselves in some respects and sometimes we have to sell ourselves to ourselves. If the product isn't exactly right, we can adjust it to be the better person we know we are inside.
So really, we have to practice being happy just being ourselves, for only ourselves until it becomes a part of who we are, then we don't have to wear our game face for others, because it has become instinct. Not necessarily happy about the situation of the moment, but merely being happy to be who we are. When we can look in the mirror, smile without thinking about it and honestly say, "I like me" ... we're almost there.
I just want to clarify, it's not always a case that "they" don't care to hear "you're" opinion, save for the fact that you are the one they are talking to at the moment. People in general don't want to be told they are wrong unless the specifically ask for opinions.
Many people just want an audience and at the same time, it's human instinct to want to correct people or help them out of their own stupidity, whether they want it or not. I don't think you are stupid, I think you are at a point of positive change, based on the fact you are bold enough to ask in a public forum.
The "fake it til you make it" notion does have it's uses. When I perform, I start out extremely nervous and I am often surprised I can sing a single note, so I smile a little and force the first one out ... not forcing it in a physical way, but mentally force myself to let it out. Once I've gotten a few notes out it gets easier and by the time I've sang a couple complete lines, I lose much of the nervousness to music.
When it comes to being around people, I don't suggest lying about how you feel, when you are dealing with a specific person. Sometimes though, when we are simply in a public setting or even by ourselves, acting happy in the way we wish to be can slowly take hold and merge with who we are.
Imagine being a car salesperson, they have to be "on" if they want to impress the customer to make a sale. In dealing with other people, we are selling ourselves in some respects and sometimes we have to sell ourselves to ourselves. If the product isn't exactly right, we can adjust it to be the better person we know we are inside.
So really, we have to practice being happy just being ourselves, for only ourselves until it becomes a part of who we are, then we don't have to wear our game face for others, because it has become instinct. Not necessarily happy about the situation of the moment, but merely being happy to be who we are. When we can look in the mirror, smile without thinking about it and honestly say, "I like me" ... we're almost there.
pretend to be happy
NO NO NO! That's not at all what I mean. Thanks for asking, I did not want this misunderstanding to exist.
What I'm talking about is that when something good happens to you (for example, someone you like wants to hang out with you), I expect (given what you wrote) that you are happy with it, but at the same time you feel you don't deserve it. And because of that, you may ask if they really want it, and that if they have other things to do that's ok, and other ways that suggest you aren't very happy with it.
What I'm saying is to pretend that you do deserve it, even if you don't really believe that you do. When something good happens, accept it and be happy with it. Try to feel more like "of course they want to hang out with me, I'm a very nice person". Until you really feel that way, pretend that you do. You can also tell people that you're doing this. It doesn't have to be a secret thing.
Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point
That wasn't my intention... We are responding to each other, but it's all in the context of your question. Or that's at least what I'm trying.
Millimeter's right, I think. I tend to criticize everything, but no one wants it/cares.
Yes, I agree with that most of the time as well, and I am very much like that, too. What I'm saying is that using the Socratic method, you don't have to keep quiet, but at the same time the other people don't feel like you're preaching to them (if you do it right).
I'm not saying it's easy; I have a strong tendency to preach, and I can't always stop myself. But it is worth the effort, because it makes everyone happier.
NO NO NO! That's not at all what I mean. Thanks for asking, I did not want this misunderstanding to exist.
What I'm talking about is that when something good happens to you (for example, someone you like wants to hang out with you), I expect (given what you wrote) that you are happy with it, but at the same time you feel you don't deserve it. And because of that, you may ask if they really want it, and that if they have other things to do that's ok, and other ways that suggest you aren't very happy with it.
What I'm saying is to pretend that you do deserve it, even if you don't really believe that you do. When something good happens, accept it and be happy with it. Try to feel more like "of course they want to hang out with me, I'm a very nice person". Until you really feel that way, pretend that you do. You can also tell people that you're doing this. It doesn't have to be a secret thing.
Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point
That wasn't my intention... We are responding to each other, but it's all in the context of your question. Or that's at least what I'm trying.
Millimeter's right, I think. I tend to criticize everything, but no one wants it/cares.
Yes, I agree with that most of the time as well, and I am very much like that, too. What I'm saying is that using the Socratic method, you don't have to keep quiet, but at the same time the other people don't feel like you're preaching to them (if you do it right).
I'm not saying it's easy; I have a strong tendency to preach, and I can't always stop myself. But it is worth the effort, because it makes everyone happier.
Try to feel more like "of course they want to hang out with me, I'm a very nice person".
I would adjust this to say, "I am a nice person or will figure out where I'm not and learn to adjust myself so that I am".
I think that we do not have the right to demand other people to like us, but if we are generally a good person and we like ourselves because of it, other people will pick up on that on a subconscious level, and will choose to be around us.
Sometimes we have to practice the mechanics of being happy, to convince ourselves, but in this case it is not lying but making a decision to adjust how we see ourselves compared to how we wish to see ourselves. Realistically though, if we don't like ourselves, nobody else will either.
Consider Bill Clinton. He did some things that were viewed as "inappropriate" but none of those things was truly harmful to other people. 2 qualities he has is that he does not intentionally try to harm other people, and "he likes himself". It was largely this wholesome belief in himself as a good soul, that won him the 2nd term in office.
I do like Shevek's notion of the Socratic method at times, but first we must be invited to offer our opinion. If we wade in and start pushing our views on something that only impacts the other person, we are trying to demand respect. If however; we treat everyone (including ourselves) with respect, then may find that we command respect.
Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point
That wasn't my intention... We are responding to each other, but it's all in the context of your question. Or that's at least what I'm trying.
I agree, it has partially become a discussion between Shevek and I, partially still thinking about your original post but I find I am learning little bits too. You may be having a different positive effect on others than you intended.
I would adjust this to say, "I am a nice person or will figure out where I'm not and learn to adjust myself so that I am".
I think that we do not have the right to demand other people to like us, but if we are generally a good person and we like ourselves because of it, other people will pick up on that on a subconscious level, and will choose to be around us.
Sometimes we have to practice the mechanics of being happy, to convince ourselves, but in this case it is not lying but making a decision to adjust how we see ourselves compared to how we wish to see ourselves. Realistically though, if we don't like ourselves, nobody else will either.
Consider Bill Clinton. He did some things that were viewed as "inappropriate" but none of those things was truly harmful to other people. 2 qualities he has is that he does not intentionally try to harm other people, and "he likes himself". It was largely this wholesome belief in himself as a good soul, that won him the 2nd term in office.
I do like Shevek's notion of the Socratic method at times, but first we must be invited to offer our opinion. If we wade in and start pushing our views on something that only impacts the other person, we are trying to demand respect. If however; we treat everyone (including ourselves) with respect, then may find that we command respect.
Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point
That wasn't my intention... We are responding to each other, but it's all in the context of your question. Or that's at least what I'm trying.
I agree, it has partially become a discussion between Shevek and I, partially still thinking about your original post but I find I am learning little bits too. You may be having a different positive effect on others than you intended.
My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.
Your words help me ever so greatly, Godley. <3
What a pity I cant return the compliment about the utter drivel you happen to pollute the site with.
From 100 to 0 in the space of an hour. Real smooth, Godley.
Godley have you ever seen that movie Zoolander?
Godley has become the old Skurn.
What about finding people who like you instead, I don't mean to be mean, but they might be able to make you happy or help better. Don't you have a girlfriend that can help as well?
What about finding people who like you instead, I don't mean to be mean, but they might be able to make you happy or help better. Don't you have a girlfriend that can help as well?
Godley has become the old Skurn.
When does a person become Skurn?
When he posts about 3 banana threads everyday.
How many have I posted in the past 12 months? 0
Banana threads are the Ebola of DN. They are contagious. Nobody wants to make a DMOD anyway. A new dmod released gets like 3 relies. And UTTER BULLSHIT like "I AM STARTING A FLAMEWAR" gets 125+ replies. Thats what is wrong with DN.
The utter shit that skurn posts, like about that shit band or whatever, I mean, who gives a shit?
FOR DUCKS SAKE, STOP DUCKING TREATING DN LIKE YOUR DUCKING FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. NOT EVERYBODY SHOULD DUCKING KNOW ABOUT EVERY DUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO YOU WATCHED.
/rant
When does a person become Skurn?
When he posts about 3 banana threads everyday.
How many have I posted in the past 12 months? 0
Banana threads are the Ebola of DN. They are contagious. Nobody wants to make a DMOD anyway. A new dmod released gets like 3 relies. And UTTER BULLSHIT like "I AM STARTING A FLAMEWAR" gets 125+ replies. Thats what is wrong with DN.
The utter shit that skurn posts, like about that shit band or whatever, I mean, who gives a shit?
FOR DUCKS SAKE, STOP DUCKING TREATING DN LIKE YOUR DUCKING FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. NOT EVERYBODY SHOULD DUCKING KNOW ABOUT EVERY DUCKING YOUTUBE VIDEO YOU WATCHED.
/rant
If I treated the DN like my NSAbook account, I would occasionally change my profile picture and reply sometimes to people.
Why are you so upset about the state of a site you have left a thousand times and only sort of check? Go make some dmods if you want the DN to have more dmod discussions. Also, Brassweasel released a dmod like 12 seconds ago. Go play it.
Why are you so upset about the state of a site you have left a thousand times and only sort of check? Go make some dmods if you want the DN to have more dmod discussions. Also, Brassweasel released a dmod like 12 seconds ago. Go play it.
If I treated the DN like my NSAbook account, I would occasionally change my profile picture and reply sometimes to people.
See, you're doing the wrong thing at the wrong site.
Why are you so upset about the state of a site you have left a thousand times and only sort of check?
So now people with 13 thousand DN accounts will tell me how to go about my life.
I want DN to have less Banana discussions, and definitely less garbage spewed out by you.
What/where do I go do.............
See, you're doing the wrong thing at the wrong site.
Why are you so upset about the state of a site you have left a thousand times and only sort of check?
So now people with 13 thousand DN accounts will tell me how to go about my life.
I want DN to have less Banana discussions, and definitely less garbage spewed out by you.
What/where do I go do.............
Nah, DN doesn't absorb my data. I think I'll keep posting garbage no one likes here.
January 21st 2016, 04:20 PM
Godley_Ghost
And Dink Network continues to die, a bit by bit, like the tree that termite attack.
The spirit is gone, all that remains is the hollow shell. Devoid of character. Devoid of substance. Existing for the sake of existence. Destroyed by its own, now a slave to the off topic that it used to lure into more members.
May God hasten your painful demise, O' loving old friend, for if you exist, you shall be a disservice to the glorious past that you've had.
RIP Dink Network
http://www.aprilkoehlerphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/redroseproject/RoseLeftatGrave.jpg
The spirit is gone, all that remains is the hollow shell. Devoid of character. Devoid of substance. Existing for the sake of existence. Destroyed by its own, now a slave to the off topic that it used to lure into more members.
May God hasten your painful demise, O' loving old friend, for if you exist, you shall be a disservice to the glorious past that you've had.
RIP Dink Network
http://www.aprilkoehlerphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/redroseproject/RoseLeftatGrave.jpg
I guess you're right. All the activity lately has actually been the echoes of the past resonating with us. Nobody is actually saying anything.
But then...does that mean I, too, am an echo? Who here is real?
But then...does that mean I, too, am an echo? Who here is real?
Well, of course Godley is absolutely correct. I'm not referring to the Skurn stuff -- it doesn't bother me at all whatever off-topic things people wish to talk about. That's all fine. I actually like Skurn. But he/she is right about there just not being any interest in dmods any more. I knew when SabreTrout said months again that you'd basically have to be an idiot to make a dmod these days that he was right. Never doubt the wisdom of the trout!
So why did I bother to finish my latest dmod? It's only because I had already put a lot of work into it, and I just ended up throwing good time after bad.
But I will say this -- Echoes is a very well made dmod regardless of whatever Scratcher is trying to imply. Some of the artwork is well done even if I do say so myself. I put a lot of time into the artwork and mapping and I think the results are beautiful. So I feel proud of that no matter what anyone else may say.
If I had released this dmod 15 years ago, it would have received high praise and high scores -- I am confident of that. But what does it get now?": two comments, one of which was obviously cynical and unwarranted.
So why did I bother to finish my latest dmod? It's only because I had already put a lot of work into it, and I just ended up throwing good time after bad.
But I will say this -- Echoes is a very well made dmod regardless of whatever Scratcher is trying to imply. Some of the artwork is well done even if I do say so myself. I put a lot of time into the artwork and mapping and I think the results are beautiful. So I feel proud of that no matter what anyone else may say.
If I had released this dmod 15 years ago, it would have received high praise and high scores -- I am confident of that. But what does it get now?": two comments, one of which was obviously cynical and unwarranted.
I didn't mean to imply anything negative. SimonK's a very well regarded dmod author whose dmods had large amounts of new graphics, crude sex jokes, and nudity! ('what kind of bees make milk' is a riddle in Pilgrim's Quest.) Echoes of the Ancients momentarily reminded me of this, it's not a condemnation at all. Although, I can't help sounding a bit sarcastic whenever it comes to mentioning the sexual parts of SimonK's dmods, they were just such an unashamedly gratuitous and pervy part of them.
Although, I can't help sounding a bit sarcastic whenever it comes to mentioning the sexual parts of SimonK's dmods, they were just such an unashamedly gratuitous and pervy part of them. Okay. Thank you for your explanation. I guess I took that the wrong way. I may be a bit sensitive just because I put a lot of effort into some of these dmods and other than Atonement, I only got one review for each of my other dmods and they were some of the shortest reviews ever. And I thought that my first dmod was pretty good, but it got a score that ranked it just outside the bottom third of quests ever made. So I'm probably more sensitive than most people would be because I really just put every thing I had into Orb and Echoes. Atonement and Solstice were just little projects, so I wasn't too worried about that. But in the old days, dmods got radically different treatment than they get now.
Kinda miss how things used to be, kinda feel like I got in on the ass end of the good times.
Yes. I'm new here, but I've read so many of a lot of old posts, so I know how it used to be. It was all about the dmods at one time. I think about the DN as a dmod site. I have to accept that things will never be like they were, but it is sad.
But a least all the people here are very cool people, so there's that. I have seen things differently than others at time, but I have genuine respect for everyone on here. Because of that, I have enjoyed my time here. I just regret that I didn't get into making dmods back when that was fashionable.
But, you know I read once that Emily Dickinson only published two poems in here life and both were without her permission. She mainly just wrote poetry for herself. So one could make a dmod because they enjoy exercising their creativity. But it will never be like the golden days of dmods ever again -- sadly. A few polite compliments and a short review is about all one can hope for.
But a least all the people here are very cool people, so there's that. I have seen things differently than others at time, but I have genuine respect for everyone on here. Because of that, I have enjoyed my time here. I just regret that I didn't get into making dmods back when that was fashionable.
But, you know I read once that Emily Dickinson only published two poems in here life and both were without her permission. She mainly just wrote poetry for herself. So one could make a dmod because they enjoy exercising their creativity. But it will never be like the golden days of dmods ever again -- sadly. A few polite compliments and a short review is about all one can hope for.
Well the reason I haven't played Echoes yet is because I'd have to install it to two drives (trying to keep two drives the same without a risky as hell mirroring program), and I've been keeping things I save/edit as low as I can.
>But he/she is right about there just not being any interest in dmods any more
That's not exactly true. We had a big thread last year where Redink1 showed us download stats. People are still downloading mods even if it's not in great volume.
That's not exactly true. We had a big thread last year where Redink1 showed us download stats. People are still downloading mods even if it's not in great volume.
I've actually been working on a Dink game with RPG Maker MV. I'm not very far with it, mostly because real life has been biting me in the ass, but I've got a playable beginning so to speak.
-ish.
-ish.
@Godley_Ghost,
There was a time when there was a &crapload of Dmods coming out. This meant there was a lot of focus on learning the new things each tried to implement, dreaming up better or at least different ways of doing that, many new puzzles to be solved, and all the conversations that go along an evolving community.
Where we are now; much of the community has at least partially moved on to other areas of life, but this will always be at least a small part of how we came to be the people we are. If there are fewer Dmods to be explored, enjoyed, torn apart, compared, or any other verb you can do to them, I see nothing wrong with discussing the the things that people in a community tend to talk about...life.
We all came here when we did, because there was some void that needed to be filled and Dink was the one thing that we could bond through. I have met some amazing people here, yes a few idiots too, but the idiots eventually either mature or move on. The amazing people seem to come back from time to time, and if that is the only thing that happens here, I don't see that as a problem. If we happen to see a new Dmod now and then, all the better.
Remember, Dink arrived to this world long before Hi-speed internet, I still remember thinking that 9600 was superfast compared to what I had before. In fact, I still remember my first download of Winzip taking just under 2 hours. While we should embrace new technologies and ways people think, we should also temper that with remembering how they once were. Then, we can more fully appreciate just how far we have come.
Unless of course you're a sock puppet, in that case I'd apologize for my verbosity.
Mm.
There was a time when there was a &crapload of Dmods coming out. This meant there was a lot of focus on learning the new things each tried to implement, dreaming up better or at least different ways of doing that, many new puzzles to be solved, and all the conversations that go along an evolving community.
Where we are now; much of the community has at least partially moved on to other areas of life, but this will always be at least a small part of how we came to be the people we are. If there are fewer Dmods to be explored, enjoyed, torn apart, compared, or any other verb you can do to them, I see nothing wrong with discussing the the things that people in a community tend to talk about...life.
We all came here when we did, because there was some void that needed to be filled and Dink was the one thing that we could bond through. I have met some amazing people here, yes a few idiots too, but the idiots eventually either mature or move on. The amazing people seem to come back from time to time, and if that is the only thing that happens here, I don't see that as a problem. If we happen to see a new Dmod now and then, all the better.
Remember, Dink arrived to this world long before Hi-speed internet, I still remember thinking that 9600 was superfast compared to what I had before. In fact, I still remember my first download of Winzip taking just under 2 hours. While we should embrace new technologies and ways people think, we should also temper that with remembering how they once were. Then, we can more fully appreciate just how far we have come.
Unless of course you're a sock puppet, in that case I'd apologize for my verbosity.
Mm.
Yay for sesquipidalean loquaciousness.
Yay for sesquipidalean loquaciousness.
But ... I said so much.
But ... I said so much.
So one could make a dmod because they enjoy exercising their creativity. But it will never be like the golden days of dmods ever again
Speaking of which, I should have an epic DMOD coming out sometime in February, that I've been sporadically working on for that exact reason. Over a year in the making, baby!
Speaking of which, I should have an epic DMOD coming out sometime in February, that I've been sporadically working on for that exact reason. Over a year in the making, baby!
Speaking of which, I should have an epic DMOD coming out sometime in February, that I've been sporadically working on for that exact reason. Over a year in the making, baby!
W0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000t,
I mean ... Looking forward to it.
W0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000t,
I mean ... Looking forward to it.
If we can get a bunch of new blood or bring back the old community, then we might be able to get a new golden age. We might also get one if we can change the format, but that requires more effort and different thinking.
Edit: We do also need to remember that this is just a PC game, thus we only have a select audience, and new isn't always better. So far, we've changed the DN/Dink to how we like it, our own little safe haven from the world, where we can talk about anything that is legal and not have to worry about anything bad happening except maybe a little trolling or a complaint from someone else.
Edit: We do also need to remember that this is just a PC game, thus we only have a select audience, and new isn't always better. So far, we've changed the DN/Dink to how we like it, our own little safe haven from the world, where we can talk about anything that is legal and not have to worry about anything bad happening except maybe a little trolling or a complaint from someone else.
Nah, I'm pretty sure there's nothing to do outside.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
My apologies for reading my own context into your response above, I thought it was a snipe.
How do I download this new D-mod? "GO_OUTSIDE" seems like an interesting thing, I've never heard what that is before.
im still trash guys, point me to the nearest dump.
One person's trash is another person's treasure. You're like, I don't know, that limited edition card they've been looking for that some rando doesn't want anymore. Ignore the randos!
someone was looking for me. found me. now, doesn't really feel like they found it to be worth it.
i am a beaver warrior. i'm useless.
i am a beaver warrior. i'm useless.
Hi! Your phrase about being useless is horrible! I scared me!
Honestly, I think you improved over the years. I remember back when you were banned (the time when you used to be Absolution, then created this third account, maybe?), I didn't like you. It was around one of the great flame wars here. Then around 2013-14 you started contributing with a less trolling/offensive attitude that got more refined with time. Now you are liked or at least accepted by most people here. Heck, there was even a person admiring your insights. This means something. Most people don't see when they improve. It's the people around them who notice it. And I noticed.
Dinkyfun, you think he's the only person who feels useless? Lot's of people do. They feel there's no meaning to their life, there's no purpose for any actions they did, they can't change their surroundings, and there's nothing and no one to life for... This is how I feel.
I was gonna say to join me in this dark powerless room but the power is maybe back.
So join me in this dark room. Let's brood together.
So join me in this dark room. Let's brood together.
Most people don't see when they improve. It's the people around them who notice it. And I noticed.
but that's mega simple to not spam pages of blankness. i mean, yeah, there was the "skorn stuff" thread, but i don't effort anymore anyways when making shit outside of drawing ponies. if i did, and everyone hated it, i wouldn't be surprised at all. making amusing garbage seems to be the better way to go.
but that's mega simple to not spam pages of blankness. i mean, yeah, there was the "skorn stuff" thread, but i don't effort anymore anyways when making shit outside of drawing ponies. if i did, and everyone hated it, i wouldn't be surprised at all. making amusing garbage seems to be the better way to go.
The way i see it is this skurnykins, I like you. You are <3
Yeah you have faults, so does everyone else.
What makes you awesome is that you realize you do and want to improve.
You're all ready a class above most people who DONT.
From my point of view as long as i know a friend is trying their best, thats 100% good enough for me!
<3 MEEEEELLOORRRINNEEE <3
Yeah you have faults, so does everyone else.
What makes you awesome is that you realize you do and want to improve.
You're all ready a class above most people who DONT.
From my point of view as long as i know a friend is trying their best, thats 100% good enough for me!
<3 MEEEEELLOORRRINNEEE <3
man, i've gotten a lot of love from dudes this year.
I'm not a dude, dude.
And love doesn't equal sexy times skurny
