Reply to Re: I need to know how to improve
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Shevek makes some valid points, if the other person is actually seeking your input. It would be different if you are giving unsolicited input.
From your original post, I don't want to ruin something great that I have that I feel I don't really deserve in the first place, but I fear that I have done some irreversible damage and that things won't go back to the way they used to be.
You should ask yourself why you felt you didn't deserve the great things. I think a little humbility is a good thing, I include that with my music. I know where my strengths and limitations are, but I don't allow myself to become over confident and cocky, I am slightly embarrassed when someone compliments my performance.
If you're feeling of not deserving it is based on a low self esteem, finding smaller things to succeed at can go a long way to learning how to appreciate yourself. Simply, if you don't love yourself, it's difficult for others to love you fully and even harder to recognize when they do. Being human, we can easily over-think that in both directions.
If it's more of a realization that you don't deserve "that one", figuring out what you do deserve and comparing that to what you want to deserve, can help you sort out what you need to adjust in yourself to be closer to who you ultimately want to be.
Back to my original point though, sometimes people tell us what they have in mind for themselves because they do value and desire our opinions but 85% of the time, they don't want our opinion ... they just want someone to listen to them without answering, and 50% of those times, they want us to agree with some part of it. If the only thing we can agree with is that they have the right to make their own choices, that is good enough.
From your original post, I don't want to ruin something great that I have that I feel I don't really deserve in the first place, but I fear that I have done some irreversible damage and that things won't go back to the way they used to be.
You should ask yourself why you felt you didn't deserve the great things. I think a little humbility is a good thing, I include that with my music. I know where my strengths and limitations are, but I don't allow myself to become over confident and cocky, I am slightly embarrassed when someone compliments my performance.
If you're feeling of not deserving it is based on a low self esteem, finding smaller things to succeed at can go a long way to learning how to appreciate yourself. Simply, if you don't love yourself, it's difficult for others to love you fully and even harder to recognize when they do. Being human, we can easily over-think that in both directions.
If it's more of a realization that you don't deserve "that one", figuring out what you do deserve and comparing that to what you want to deserve, can help you sort out what you need to adjust in yourself to be closer to who you ultimately want to be.
Back to my original point though, sometimes people tell us what they have in mind for themselves because they do value and desire our opinions but 85% of the time, they don't want our opinion ... they just want someone to listen to them without answering, and 50% of those times, they want us to agree with some part of it. If the only thing we can agree with is that they have the right to make their own choices, that is good enough.
