Reply to Re: I need to know how to improve
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Try to feel more like "of course they want to hang out with me, I'm a very nice person".
I would adjust this to say, "I am a nice person or will figure out where I'm not and learn to adjust myself so that I am".
I think that we do not have the right to demand other people to like us, but if we are generally a good person and we like ourselves because of it, other people will pick up on that on a subconscious level, and will choose to be around us.
Sometimes we have to practice the mechanics of being happy, to convince ourselves, but in this case it is not lying but making a decision to adjust how we see ourselves compared to how we wish to see ourselves. Realistically though, if we don't like ourselves, nobody else will either.
Consider Bill Clinton. He did some things that were viewed as "inappropriate" but none of those things was truly harmful to other people. 2 qualities he has is that he does not intentionally try to harm other people, and "he likes himself". It was largely this wholesome belief in himself as a good soul, that won him the 2nd term in office.
I do like Shevek's notion of the Socratic method at times, but first we must be invited to offer our opinion. If we wade in and start pushing our views on something that only impacts the other person, we are trying to demand respect. If however; we treat everyone (including ourselves) with respect, then may find that we command respect.
Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point
That wasn't my intention... We are responding to each other, but it's all in the context of your question. Or that's at least what I'm trying.
I agree, it has partially become a discussion between Shevek and I, partially still thinking about your original post but I find I am learning little bits too. You may be having a different positive effect on others than you intended.
I would adjust this to say, "I am a nice person or will figure out where I'm not and learn to adjust myself so that I am".
I think that we do not have the right to demand other people to like us, but if we are generally a good person and we like ourselves because of it, other people will pick up on that on a subconscious level, and will choose to be around us.
Sometimes we have to practice the mechanics of being happy, to convince ourselves, but in this case it is not lying but making a decision to adjust how we see ourselves compared to how we wish to see ourselves. Realistically though, if we don't like ourselves, nobody else will either.
Consider Bill Clinton. He did some things that were viewed as "inappropriate" but none of those things was truly harmful to other people. 2 qualities he has is that he does not intentionally try to harm other people, and "he likes himself". It was largely this wholesome belief in himself as a good soul, that won him the 2nd term in office.
I do like Shevek's notion of the Socratic method at times, but first we must be invited to offer our opinion. If we wade in and start pushing our views on something that only impacts the other person, we are trying to demand respect. If however; we treat everyone (including ourselves) with respect, then may find that we command respect.
Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point
That wasn't my intention... We are responding to each other, but it's all in the context of your question. Or that's at least what I'm trying.
I agree, it has partially become a discussion between Shevek and I, partially still thinking about your original post but I find I am learning little bits too. You may be having a different positive effect on others than you intended.
