The Dink Network

Well, as far as social graces, there's probably some middle-ground between bluntly speaking your mind and not voicing your opinion, though it usually requires a certain degree of tact. I am also not very good at this, but I'm working on it.

I have had some of the same defeatist, negative attitude, though for me it came from a pretty... ducked-up upbringing (FYI, parents, please don't give your kids shit for trying and failing, or even trying and not doing something perfectly, it's how they ducking learn). I still can get that way from time to time about certain "adulting" aspects of life and it's not fun. Not sure the details for you, but it's probably likely that that attitude was learned in some way. The best way I've found to fight that attitude is to keep making small, incrementally more difficult victories in life so that you have examples to show yourself that what you might think is impossible is actually a surmountable challenge.

Not sure what to say about the clingyness as that's something I haven't had much experience with, but have you considered trying to find a good therapist? They might be able to do a lot more good than a bunch of us on a forum can.