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This is probably kind of an odd place to post this kind of thing, but it's been done before and I have gotten pretty used to this place and have gotten to know everyone at least enough to know that the forum isn't full of absolute pricks or something, so I'm going to post this here. I've been thinking about posting something like this before, and I've finally decided to go with it. Let's start with this scenario -
You're in a room/call with me and we're playing some game. Some powerful as shit enemy shows up and smashes us. You might think something like "That was hard. I wonder how we can defeat him." Meanwhile, I'm pretty much the opposite. "This guy's impossible. Completely overpowered", I say. "How the duck are we supposed to kill this thing? Nothing we have is strong enough to do it."
Now you feel bad. We're playing a game and up until now, it was fun for both of us. Now I'm ranting about this enemy and you're not enjoying it anymore. I've ruined it. Instead of discussing what we can do to win, I've labelled the enemy as impossible and that they didn't balance the game. The game ends with you standing in one place and then we're done for now.
That's a true story, and I hope that nothing bad comes from sharing that, even though I've left it vague enough so you can at least know what I'm talking about. Let's run through another scenario -
You tell me you want to do something. I'll just leave it up to you to decide what it is. Maybe you want to take some class or go somewhere or do something. Whatever. Just choose something. I tell you that it's pointless/dangerous/overpriced and go into some rant or something about it. Instead of supporting that decision, I've shit all over you. Now you're mad at me. I don't want to make up some excuse, but I've just done this because I care, but I do a miserable job of showing it. I do the total opposite of what I should have done. No "That's a nice idea." or "I hope it works out well". I just give you some view or something you didn't want and make you feel bad.
That is also a true story.
These are some things I struggle with really badly. For the first example, I just end up saying things before I can even begin to control myself. I just...complain right when it happens. One time, recently, I practiced not doing that and it worked alright. I was able to complete Bravely Default by just letting things slide if I lost or something. I guess I could still do that, but it's not very easy I guess.
As for rest of this post, I'm really going to choose my words carefully here. I don't want to make anything worse by making this thread. I'll admit that if I end up becoming really close with someone, I get really clingy. The feeling of not being with them sucks. This has happened multiple times and I end up just hurting said person and myself with how dependent I am. I look up a bunch of stuff out of paranoia if it's been a while or just to make sure nothing bad is happening. It's like in Harry Potter when Ron always had that radio on so that he feels better when he doesn't hear that anyone he knows has been killed or hurt by Voldemort or his minions.
Pretty much what I am leading up to is, what can I do? Do any of you experience similar things, and how do you handle it? I've gotten to the point now where certain topics are hardly, if ever, brought up to me because of how I react. And I guess neither of my examples will explain why, but just imagine there are some things you don't like to talk about and I always bring them up so that I can know what is going on. Or maybe you like something but I'm really harsh and say to you that it's bad and now you don't want to talk about it anymore. Things like that.
I don't want to ruin something great that I have that I feel I don't really deserve in the first place, but I fear that I have done some irreversible damage and that things won't go back to the way they used to be.
Long-ass post, but I guess that should be enough info. So, yeah.
You're in a room/call with me and we're playing some game. Some powerful as shit enemy shows up and smashes us. You might think something like "That was hard. I wonder how we can defeat him." Meanwhile, I'm pretty much the opposite. "This guy's impossible. Completely overpowered", I say. "How the duck are we supposed to kill this thing? Nothing we have is strong enough to do it."
Now you feel bad. We're playing a game and up until now, it was fun for both of us. Now I'm ranting about this enemy and you're not enjoying it anymore. I've ruined it. Instead of discussing what we can do to win, I've labelled the enemy as impossible and that they didn't balance the game. The game ends with you standing in one place and then we're done for now.
That's a true story, and I hope that nothing bad comes from sharing that, even though I've left it vague enough so you can at least know what I'm talking about. Let's run through another scenario -
You tell me you want to do something. I'll just leave it up to you to decide what it is. Maybe you want to take some class or go somewhere or do something. Whatever. Just choose something. I tell you that it's pointless/dangerous/overpriced and go into some rant or something about it. Instead of supporting that decision, I've shit all over you. Now you're mad at me. I don't want to make up some excuse, but I've just done this because I care, but I do a miserable job of showing it. I do the total opposite of what I should have done. No "That's a nice idea." or "I hope it works out well". I just give you some view or something you didn't want and make you feel bad.
That is also a true story.
These are some things I struggle with really badly. For the first example, I just end up saying things before I can even begin to control myself. I just...complain right when it happens. One time, recently, I practiced not doing that and it worked alright. I was able to complete Bravely Default by just letting things slide if I lost or something. I guess I could still do that, but it's not very easy I guess.
As for rest of this post, I'm really going to choose my words carefully here. I don't want to make anything worse by making this thread. I'll admit that if I end up becoming really close with someone, I get really clingy. The feeling of not being with them sucks. This has happened multiple times and I end up just hurting said person and myself with how dependent I am. I look up a bunch of stuff out of paranoia if it's been a while or just to make sure nothing bad is happening. It's like in Harry Potter when Ron always had that radio on so that he feels better when he doesn't hear that anyone he knows has been killed or hurt by Voldemort or his minions.
Pretty much what I am leading up to is, what can I do? Do any of you experience similar things, and how do you handle it? I've gotten to the point now where certain topics are hardly, if ever, brought up to me because of how I react. And I guess neither of my examples will explain why, but just imagine there are some things you don't like to talk about and I always bring them up so that I can know what is going on. Or maybe you like something but I'm really harsh and say to you that it's bad and now you don't want to talk about it anymore. Things like that.
I don't want to ruin something great that I have that I feel I don't really deserve in the first place, but I fear that I have done some irreversible damage and that things won't go back to the way they used to be.
Long-ass post, but I guess that should be enough info. So, yeah.
