Reply to Re: I need to know how to improve
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Well, I had a similar problem recently. I have a job at a place where I deal with lots of people, and it's getting near Christmas... Normally we get temporary help during the season, but this time, not so much. This led to me getting pretty stressed out to the point where I had a nightmare about going back to work... Heh...
Anyways, so far I've been doing good by doing two things. I decided, first of all, that I'm not going to let it get to me and no matter how much crap happens at work I'll just do my job and not stress myself out about it if something goes wrong. Then, I decided on a happy word. I chose "Zen" for some reason. I guess I like the way it sounds. When I get stressed out, I just think my happy word, along with things that make me happy, and slowly let that negative energy leave my body. Super corny, I know, but it has worked for me. I also think "I'm alive, and that's all that matters" or things along those lines. We tell ourselves something enough times, and we really start to believe it. This can be really helpful with positive thoughts.
I don't know for sure if the same solution will work for you, but I do think the root of the problem is the same: you are letting things that don't really matter that much stress you out or make you worry. Perhaps you should try to find something inside of you that makes you truly happy and use that when you are feeling down. It's tempting to lean on people and in most cases that's fine, if it's someone that really cares about you. But people are unpredictable and if we depend so much on them that we can't live without them, then we are setting ourselves up for more stress in the future. Not only that, but we're stressing them out, too. The reason I think "Zen", is because to me, that is a word that will never change meaning. It will always be "peace; at one with the world". And that is something that will always make me happy. If that's not something that makes you really happy, then maybe you need a different word or idea to think about. But I do think it helps to have something like that.
There is another tip I can give you, and this is not so much directed straight at you, but more as a reference and something that's helped me: many people, when they don't like a habit they have, they simply try to quit the habit. The problem is, they don't know what to do instead and end up going right back to the habit. In reality, you will always be more successful if you replace a bad habit with something else, usually a good habit. A good example is replacing cigarettes and coffee in the morning with a real breakfast.
I hope that was somewhat helpful. These ideas have helped me a lot, anyways. Of course I still have to battle negativity oft-times, but it's a much easier fight when I have properly geared up. I used to have other ways of coping, like trying to smile when I feel sad, but I found that doesn't really help as much as I would like. Smiling without a reason almost makes me more sad with its irony. But if you give yourself a reason to smile... then it's a lot better. Anyways, good luck!
P.S: if it's any consolation, I've never had a girlfriend in my life, and not for lack of trying. So don't feel too bad if things don't always go as you expect them to. Just try to roll with the punches as best as you can, and move on with your life.
Anyways, so far I've been doing good by doing two things. I decided, first of all, that I'm not going to let it get to me and no matter how much crap happens at work I'll just do my job and not stress myself out about it if something goes wrong. Then, I decided on a happy word. I chose "Zen" for some reason. I guess I like the way it sounds. When I get stressed out, I just think my happy word, along with things that make me happy, and slowly let that negative energy leave my body. Super corny, I know, but it has worked for me. I also think "I'm alive, and that's all that matters" or things along those lines. We tell ourselves something enough times, and we really start to believe it. This can be really helpful with positive thoughts.
I don't know for sure if the same solution will work for you, but I do think the root of the problem is the same: you are letting things that don't really matter that much stress you out or make you worry. Perhaps you should try to find something inside of you that makes you truly happy and use that when you are feeling down. It's tempting to lean on people and in most cases that's fine, if it's someone that really cares about you. But people are unpredictable and if we depend so much on them that we can't live without them, then we are setting ourselves up for more stress in the future. Not only that, but we're stressing them out, too. The reason I think "Zen", is because to me, that is a word that will never change meaning. It will always be "peace; at one with the world". And that is something that will always make me happy. If that's not something that makes you really happy, then maybe you need a different word or idea to think about. But I do think it helps to have something like that.
There is another tip I can give you, and this is not so much directed straight at you, but more as a reference and something that's helped me: many people, when they don't like a habit they have, they simply try to quit the habit. The problem is, they don't know what to do instead and end up going right back to the habit. In reality, you will always be more successful if you replace a bad habit with something else, usually a good habit. A good example is replacing cigarettes and coffee in the morning with a real breakfast.
I hope that was somewhat helpful. These ideas have helped me a lot, anyways. Of course I still have to battle negativity oft-times, but it's a much easier fight when I have properly geared up. I used to have other ways of coping, like trying to smile when I feel sad, but I found that doesn't really help as much as I would like. Smiling without a reason almost makes me more sad with its irony. But if you give yourself a reason to smile... then it's a lot better. Anyways, good luck!
P.S: if it's any consolation, I've never had a girlfriend in my life, and not for lack of trying. So don't feel too bad if things don't always go as you expect them to. Just try to roll with the punches as best as you can, and move on with your life.
