Reply to Re: I need to know how to improve
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I tend to criticize everything, but no one wants it/cares.
I just want to clarify, it's not always a case that "they" don't care to hear "you're" opinion, save for the fact that you are the one they are talking to at the moment. People in general don't want to be told they are wrong unless the specifically ask for opinions.
Many people just want an audience and at the same time, it's human instinct to want to correct people or help them out of their own stupidity, whether they want it or not. I don't think you are stupid, I think you are at a point of positive change, based on the fact you are bold enough to ask in a public forum.
The "fake it til you make it" notion does have it's uses. When I perform, I start out extremely nervous and I am often surprised I can sing a single note, so I smile a little and force the first one out ... not forcing it in a physical way, but mentally force myself to let it out. Once I've gotten a few notes out it gets easier and by the time I've sang a couple complete lines, I lose much of the nervousness to music.
When it comes to being around people, I don't suggest lying about how you feel, when you are dealing with a specific person. Sometimes though, when we are simply in a public setting or even by ourselves, acting happy in the way we wish to be can slowly take hold and merge with who we are.
Imagine being a car salesperson, they have to be "on" if they want to impress the customer to make a sale. In dealing with other people, we are selling ourselves in some respects and sometimes we have to sell ourselves to ourselves. If the product isn't exactly right, we can adjust it to be the better person we know we are inside.
So really, we have to practice being happy just being ourselves, for only ourselves until it becomes a part of who we are, then we don't have to wear our game face for others, because it has become instinct. Not necessarily happy about the situation of the moment, but merely being happy to be who we are. When we can look in the mirror, smile without thinking about it and honestly say, "I like me" ... we're almost there.
I just want to clarify, it's not always a case that "they" don't care to hear "you're" opinion, save for the fact that you are the one they are talking to at the moment. People in general don't want to be told they are wrong unless the specifically ask for opinions.
Many people just want an audience and at the same time, it's human instinct to want to correct people or help them out of their own stupidity, whether they want it or not. I don't think you are stupid, I think you are at a point of positive change, based on the fact you are bold enough to ask in a public forum.
The "fake it til you make it" notion does have it's uses. When I perform, I start out extremely nervous and I am often surprised I can sing a single note, so I smile a little and force the first one out ... not forcing it in a physical way, but mentally force myself to let it out. Once I've gotten a few notes out it gets easier and by the time I've sang a couple complete lines, I lose much of the nervousness to music.
When it comes to being around people, I don't suggest lying about how you feel, when you are dealing with a specific person. Sometimes though, when we are simply in a public setting or even by ourselves, acting happy in the way we wish to be can slowly take hold and merge with who we are.
Imagine being a car salesperson, they have to be "on" if they want to impress the customer to make a sale. In dealing with other people, we are selling ourselves in some respects and sometimes we have to sell ourselves to ourselves. If the product isn't exactly right, we can adjust it to be the better person we know we are inside.
So really, we have to practice being happy just being ourselves, for only ourselves until it becomes a part of who we are, then we don't have to wear our game face for others, because it has become instinct. Not necessarily happy about the situation of the moment, but merely being happy to be who we are. When we can look in the mirror, smile without thinking about it and honestly say, "I like me" ... we're almost there.
