Reply to Re: I need to know how to improve
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pretend to be happy
NO NO NO! That's not at all what I mean. Thanks for asking, I did not want this misunderstanding to exist.
What I'm talking about is that when something good happens to you (for example, someone you like wants to hang out with you), I expect (given what you wrote) that you are happy with it, but at the same time you feel you don't deserve it. And because of that, you may ask if they really want it, and that if they have other things to do that's ok, and other ways that suggest you aren't very happy with it.
What I'm saying is to pretend that you do deserve it, even if you don't really believe that you do. When something good happens, accept it and be happy with it. Try to feel more like "of course they want to hang out with me, I'm a very nice person". Until you really feel that way, pretend that you do. You can also tell people that you're doing this. It doesn't have to be a secret thing.
Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point
That wasn't my intention... We are responding to each other, but it's all in the context of your question. Or that's at least what I'm trying.
Millimeter's right, I think. I tend to criticize everything, but no one wants it/cares.
Yes, I agree with that most of the time as well, and I am very much like that, too. What I'm saying is that using the Socratic method, you don't have to keep quiet, but at the same time the other people don't feel like you're preaching to them (if you do it right).
I'm not saying it's easy; I have a strong tendency to preach, and I can't always stop myself. But it is worth the effort, because it makes everyone happier.
NO NO NO! That's not at all what I mean. Thanks for asking, I did not want this misunderstanding to exist.
What I'm talking about is that when something good happens to you (for example, someone you like wants to hang out with you), I expect (given what you wrote) that you are happy with it, but at the same time you feel you don't deserve it. And because of that, you may ask if they really want it, and that if they have other things to do that's ok, and other ways that suggest you aren't very happy with it.
What I'm saying is to pretend that you do deserve it, even if you don't really believe that you do. When something good happens, accept it and be happy with it. Try to feel more like "of course they want to hang out with me, I'm a very nice person". Until you really feel that way, pretend that you do. You can also tell people that you're doing this. It doesn't have to be a secret thing.
Has this just become a discussion between millimeter and shevek at this point
That wasn't my intention... We are responding to each other, but it's all in the context of your question. Or that's at least what I'm trying.
Millimeter's right, I think. I tend to criticize everything, but no one wants it/cares.
Yes, I agree with that most of the time as well, and I am very much like that, too. What I'm saying is that using the Socratic method, you don't have to keep quiet, but at the same time the other people don't feel like you're preaching to them (if you do it right).
I'm not saying it's easy; I have a strong tendency to preach, and I can't always stop myself. But it is worth the effort, because it makes everyone happier.
