The Dink Network

Heh heh. This is so bad it's not funny. None the less, it accomplished it's goals. Ehasl made this D-Mod to .. have the D-Mod with the longest name ever, to "write Dink history"...
Be funny (or have fun). It was a joke, kinda a typical bad D-Mod. It's good at that...
Start a debate, and it worked.
So I must say, it deserves a little credit just for accomplishing

You see, apart from click the start button and pressing the spacebar to skip text, there was nothing to do in this D-Mod. Quite frankly, it sucks. After clicking the 'Play' button in my front end, I was greeted with a blank white screen and the original Dink 'Start', 'Continue' and 'Quit' buttons. I really see no point in having a continue button seeing as there are no save game points. And even if there were, there'd be no way to get to them seeing as all you do is watch a 10 - 20 second cut-scene.

There was no story whatsoever, there were no new midis, no new sounds and no new graphics.

I looked at all the reviews and there were about 25 I think. I must say, it deserves a point for that. I'll give it another 2.2 points for accomplishing all it's goals. 1.3 point for possibly getting reviewed the most times. And -3.4 for being horribly crappy.

1.1 point out of 10

First: How do you know that your reviews are not a part of the artpiece? I think that is interesting. It can look like there is competition in two directions, one trying to give the best humorous review looking upon this as modern art, and one trying to slaughter it as hard as possible. Twenty-three reviews after having an extremely low average score from the beginning. You are making fools of yourselves, even more than I did when I released this.

All the reviews, including my own, must be of the D-Mod itself and its ability to fill its intentions, not of anything else, especially since that is not stated in the documentation (I am thinking about the reviews). And this IS a D-Mod, a Dink-Module, which means nothing more than "an add-on for Dink Smallwood". It is although not a romp, I think.

I think the techniques used are a part of the D-Mod, so they can be reviewed. First the idea: Like mentioned on the top of this page, I made a bad D-Mod on purpose. If looking upon it as art, I would call it a sort of crippled naivism, lacking a better word. I am sure some artists have used words like "badism" or "destructivism", yes, and nihilism, and I do not know which to use, really, but I still had an idea. I had reasons to do this, mostly related to entertaining myself. And I am entertained now by all the reviews and "publicity". I do not really understand why I would like to start a debate about what D-Mods should be let into the system and then get angry when this crap was deleted. Teenage irrationality, I guess.

The title screen was made white and ugly on purpose.
The name of Dink in my D-Mod is not something I have made up, it is, with the exception of the name Dink, the real name of a person in real life, Adolph Blaine Charles David etc..
When Dink is seemingly talking to himself, it is symbolizing his mother, like he says, not the other, or one of the 25 other, sides of his split personality or something. I was pretending that I could not spawn the mother sprite, but Dinks movement is perfectly scripted, as far as I know. It is contradicting and annoying for the player, and thus entertaining for me.
The animation-less duck is actually the most important sprite, as it holds the script that drives everything else in-"game".

Apart from this the D-Mod is pointless, so although the reviews here are not a part of the D-Mod, the reactions of the players kind of define the point, after I defined the D-Mod as art. Dinkateur's reaction, laughter, is one of the preferred ones for me, but mostly because it is different.

Can I give this D-Mod points for being "a lost D-Mod"? Well, SirCabbage's review was validated, so I guess I can give 0.9 for that (now I am already breaking the rule I wrote in the beginning of this review). Then another point for breaking some useless records like shortest gameplay and longest name and lowest score. Then 0.4 points for starting a debate which had impact back in the days, but is not important anymore now. Then 3 points for causing so different reactions and having 23 people reviewing it. Then two points for being really unique. Then 1 point for having no errors. Then -6 points for not deserving the points I was almost about to try giving it. And -1 because I am the author and really do not want to overrate my own files, since I am so honest. Conclusion: It sucks. 1.3

Well, I figure that one with a warped perspective like me must review this one some time. This is an interesting frame of words... I refrane from using the word D-Mod, because this is not a D-Mod, repeat, THIS IS NOT A DMOD! There is no sense of adventure or story, or anything else you would think a D-Mod would have. It is a very neat piece of artistry- but frankly it is not really worth downloading (especially if you are looking for a D-Mod). While I feel that it is extremely unfair to review this one as a D-Mod- with my goal of eventually reviewing every D-Mod, I feel that I am obligated to.

***Plot***
There is no real storyline, other than that Dink tells you his name... I think however this would really add a very classy, artistic view to the original Dink game if it was added to the beginning- before you have to feed the pigs... otherwise there is really not enough material to review this plot-wise.
***1.0***

***Sound***
There is no music, no sound... not that this really needed it... but I think that a custom song to go with Dink's name would have been nice.
***0.0***

***Gameplay***
There is no gameplay...none at all. You can't control a single thing. Alright?
***0.0***

FINAL SCORE
***0.4***

I feel obligated to write a good end note. Because of the ratings and poor reviews of this screen of words, I feel that it has a tendency to be overlooked. This is a cleverly humorous play on modern day usage of three-five, (sometimes eight) differant names assigned to a single person. This would have not logically been the case in Dink's day, where most people would have a single name... SO then we have to have Dink be absolutely contrary to reason and have a twenty-six part name... This is an astonishing work of interest (albeit, not the style that I generally like). It shows some effort to be unreasonable and contrary to "the system", plus- you can hardly say the title in a single breath. So before you pass it by, consider this- this is the sort of D-Mod that Andy Warhol would have made. That does not make it good (at least, not in my opinion), but that it is tasteful and intriguing...

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ - By ehasl
Grade U Standard
-----

Introduction: The only DMOD currently ever released by the Dinker known as ehasl, and by the feedback he's received from ABCD... I would presume the only DMOD he ever will. By reading the many reviews written currently for ABCD... I knew I wasn't expecting a DMOD of any high standard whatsoever. However, I still thought there might be the slightest chance a tiny bytes worth of data was worth analysing. I was wrong.

Storyline: Dink, has a name 26 words long. Each of these, is a representitive of each letter in the full standard English alphabet. Ehasl explains this in his DMOD. (0)

Gameplay: You don't actually get to move, but you do get to sit through a few lines of names, before being called to Dinner by the mother of ABCD... (aka Dink). (0.1)

Graphics: Standard Dink graphics, and an atrocity of a title screen (along with sub-par title buttons). (0)

Music: My score should determine whether or not the DMOD has music. (0)

Conclusion: Although an attempt of humour by the DMOD author, I was not amused. I believe that there is nothing to be gained from downloading the ABCD... DMOD, and I'm sure every other member of the Network who has played the DMOD through fully (Joke.) would fully agree. I think my score is justified, don't even download the DMOD to see how bad it is yourself, you may be sick.

Quite frankly, this D-Mod is a travesty (a strangely amusing one considering the horrible status it has received in the annals of Dink history, but a travesty nonetheless). Upon loading it, you are greeted by an entirely white title screen, only supplying you with Start, Continue, and Quit buttons. The Continue button doesn't even serve any purpose, as there is no saving/loading to be done in this D-Mod whatsoever. You could also argue that the Start button doesn't do anything important either, as upon clicking it, you are treated to Dink greeting you, telling you his full name, being called to dinner (by what appears to be himself, no less), and telling you that you've finished the D-Mod. But wait.. I finished it? I accomplished something? I was never able to interact with it in the first place, unless you consider clicking the Start button and then the Quit button afterward!

You could say that this D-Mod has no merit whatsoever, what with its length possibly being even shorter than the time it takes to read this review, but I think it does adequately demonstrate that just as the most epic and fulfilling masterpieces of D-Mods will be remembered for a long while, so will the most disappointing, dreadful, and pointless. Call it cheap fame.

Oh, and "Adolph" wasn't even spelled correctly in the dmod.diz file. Brilliant.

This whatever it is is no d-mod... Seriously this isn't worth to download.

good:nothing
bad:everything

Graphics 0.0:
Only one screen with dink and a duck...wow
Music 0.0:
No music...boring
Gameplay 0.0:
You can't even move...lol
story 0.0:
No story
overall:
OMFG!!DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS!!
0.0!!

This dmod is about a 26 long name which is told by dink, First name being a then b etc, it has no story, you cant move, cant even kill the duck,

This dmod is not recommend to anyone, if you want to waste space get it.

This is the most boring D-mod I've ever seen
and "played".

First reason:This is the first D-mod without any action.

Second reason omething else,the story with the names is too inferior.It could be better to choose words which are joined to Dink.

Third reason:Anyway,the D-mod would be better if the creator was more studious.

In the end I want say to the creator to continue creating more D-mods but to be more
assiduous.But about that mod-it's a great sorrow.

First of all this is stupid and second it's really stupid.I can't believe you wasted your time on this thing!There is no music,it sucks,you don't even move Dink,there is no story,no action-NOTHING!!There is only a duck.

In the end i would like to say to the creator:GET A LIFE!

Upon looking at the score of the DMOD, I knew that it completely sucks. This DMOD is stupid. There is just one screen (not counting the introduction) and all the tiles on that screen are that same. This is also the first time that I had seen a DMOD that does not allow you to move dink. The graphics completely sucks, and there is not plot, storyline or music at all. I award this DMOD 0.1 points at the author's ability to think up of such a long name.

Whoa, this wasn't actually that bad, IT STANK LIKE HELL.

Story:0.0
None, Dink has an insanely long name.

Graphics:0.0
N/A

Map:0.0
What map. A screen with really bad tiling, a duck, and Dink.
Nothing else.

Scripting:0.0
No bugs, well duh there is nothing to be buggy.

Good:
(Quit button at title screen.

Bad:
(Start button
(Continue Button
(Waste of bandwidth
(Waste of time
(Waste of HardDisk space
(May cause sudden urges of suicide
(Long, blessed name
(Xeres, should really be something along the lines of Xavier!

Comment:
!>>>>DO NOT DOWNLOAD<<<<!
!>>>>MAY CAUSE SUICIDE<<<<!

Wow. Dink tells you his name.

The Good:
Hmmmmmm, actually, I'm gonna leave this part blank.

The Bad:
No sound, no control over Dink, no storyline, no second screen, no fighting, you can't kill the duck, and the only auto-matic movement is about from half the screen to the top of the screen.
Should I go on?

Overall:
Read the Bad paragraph. That about sums it up.

I have to say I must rate this but I will write a short review for a short but more cruddy d-mod.

Story:0.1:Horrible: Nothing but calling out the alphabet, but I dont wanna be harsh.

Style:0.2:Horrible: You explained that you simply wanted to make the worst d-mod ever, on purpose, to make Dink history, so I rated it 0.2.

Graphics:0.0:Horrible: Nothing and 1 screen that's all I have to say.

Music:0.0: Haven't heard any.

Overall:A cruddy game that wastes your time. DON'T I repeat DON'T download this D-mod.

Fit for: Stupid people...

I'm going tp play devils advocate here. Yes this game was terrible, and yes it had no point and it deserves the score it got. But that was the point! It was for funn, to laugh at.

The Whole D-mod is:
Dink starts by saying "Once apon a time" then says "There was a boy called" Then spits off one long name. Then his mother says its time for dinner, then thats the end of the game.
The title screen is pure white witch could realy blind you if your playing on a HDTV screen.

5.5
It serves its propose.
Its very pointless purpose

~Jake~

Lol. If this you called D-Mod, then I don't know what is real D-Mod.
If this is the best humoristic video ( 'cause you can't play it, only look ) then i rate it 4.0, because it is not even so funny. But we are comment and rate d-mods, i give 0.5.

I didn't want to download this. I really didn't...but...they made me. They control everything I do, and thus, I was forced into downloading this. First of all, there is no plot, no music, and no meaning. You sit through the worst low grade movie ever, and then it's over. The worst D-Mod ever made without a doubt. They didn't like it either...My God I'm tired of hearing them...help me...

This is the worst Dmod I have ever played.
It has no story line, no challenge, no music and NO FUN!. This Dmod doesn't even have any game play. There was no point making such a stupid Dmod. I give this Dmod 0.0 because it's completely useless and not worth downloading.

If you have made other dmods, dude, im speechless, that was the worst most pointless dmod in the history of dinksmallwood. If you were a fisrt time creator, ill cut you a LITTLE slack. good job u made a dmod,u had scripts, u had a npc and you had...uh..grass. But, it still sucks really bad.

Story 0.5 : there was no story just a duck and floating words

Game play 0.0 : there was none

Music 0.0 : wasn't any

Graphics 0.0 or negative 0.5 : none (I hate the screens with just grass and nothing else)

Overall 0.5 : crap, pointless.

Good : the pointless duck made me grin.No bugs cause there was no game, the name made me lol

Bad : it sucked, no music, no real story, no gameplay

Oh my the shortest and retardest D-Mod ever.

*Story*
NOTHING! *0.0*
*Gameplay*
WTH?
*0.0*
*Musics & Audio*
I didn't hear anything
*0.0*
Good:The longest name
Bad:This is a piece o crap

Overall:
*0.0*

Tip:
Put one of NPC's to tell the story and Dink do what tells the StoryTeller.

First things first,is this a D-MOD or some kinda crap?I trully regretted downloading this 'D-MOD'although it just took a few seconds to do so.why< playing pac-man or pong is way better than this.
FOR those of you who are thinking to download yhis so called D_MOd ,think again it has no backbone and its totally lame.I am only giving a 0.5 score not for the game but solely for the effort taken to create this piece of crap.

I liked it!

It´s fun, but it´s no dmod.

All has been said by my esteemed fellow reviewees, so: no argument there. This ´dmod´ has no music, no spectacular graphics, no storyline worth mentioning, no innovating spells or fighting, no new statistics, no new map, no...

It has one thing going for it, though: it made me laugh! The first time I played it, I couldn´t believe it was over, and I was convinced I missed something. But this really was it. And that was very funny.

So, to award the self-doubt instilled and the laugh provoked, I give 3 out of 10 points.

This should not be even regarded as a D-Mod, it is just a bad movie. It ends soon after it starts. Please this would just waste your time. This should be regaded as WASTE. Its crap and its lame.

AAAAAAH! A huge exceptional D-Mod, even better than SOB or FB3 or PQ- You can't even compare them! Duh. You can't compare them, that's the only fact. Ehasl didn't achieve 2 of his goals: Be funny NOR make the D-Mod with the longest name. Longest name so far, but soon, someone I would call a papupata, will release a D-Mod with an even longer name.

Graphics. Dink, duck and grass.

Music. Music?

Story. Absent.

Humour. Almost absent.

Map. 1 screen.

Gameplay. Absent.

Overall. I almost forgot my opinion! My opinion is ARGH. No D-Mod, no adventure, no fun. Dang.

Total. 1.

Ugh! What this meant to acomplish? Bore us to death? If so it does a good job. If it was possible, I would rate it -9.9. Okay, just kiding, but seriously I don't get why anyone would want to release so bad a dmod. The above reasons make no sense whatsoever.

Plot: 0.0 - There isn't any.
Gameplay: 0.0 - What gameplay?
Functionality: 0.0 - It doesn't really do much.

Avoid at all costs and don't play it for any reasons, not even out of curiousity like I did (big mistake - I should of paid atention to the reviews). I hope this will prevent others from making the same mistake as me.

Well.. is this a D-Mod? This is just a little stupit movie with a verry long name. Why has this ?!?D-Mod?!? been created?!

The GOOD:Uhh...

The BAD:Everything!

And The UGLY:The backround.

Total: a 0.1 for making a verry large name.

This dmod is Dinkiverse's equivalent to nonsense celebrities in show business. Everyone knows they're useless, yet nobody can keep away from them. Call it irony or whatever, the fact remains this dmod is among the worst. There is no gameplay, and the humour is below mild at best.

This D-Mod is really bad! Im Speachless.
its gets a 0.for everthing else
and gets a the .2 for humor

Your Right "ehasl" it has made Dink history.

0.2 out of 10

PS: Whats up with the duck?

Although I did not expect much, I actually enjoyed this D-Mod, and I am being very seroius. It was quick to download (which was good for me, a switcher between boardband and dial-up) and I used the script off it. I am now making my own D-Mod completely off the basis of this "engine". But I had to lower my score because it was invalid before.

This is a lost DMOD.

Story: 1.0
There was a boy called ... ... ... . The end.

Gameplay: 0.0
You can't controll Dink at all so there is no gameplay.

Music: 0.0
There is no music.

Map: 0.0
A single screen with a duck.

Style: 0.0
This isn't a real DMOD.

Overall: 0.2
-No comment-

This mod is a travesty (more or less). In the mod, you do not even get to play. Therefore, it has no replay value.

But hey, you get a 0.1 bonus point for coming up with a name for every letter.

*SPOILERS*
X is Xerxes

I was just angry after "playing" this "DMOD". Even though its main purpose was to be funny, i dont even think it acomplished that... I recomend you dont download this game. Unless you want to waste your time, as in waste it so badly youll cry, do not download this game. that is my opinion. Youll regret it for the rest of your scarred (BECAUSE YOU DOWNLOADED IT) life. The graphics werent good, it barely even had a story, and its non playable. This isnt a DMOD. Its a bad movie.

Abcdefghij….

What to say, nothing to do, boring and useless… BUT IT’S A LOST DMOD!! :>

Story: There is a man with a long name…

Gameplay: Non existent, no replayabilty factor either…

Graphics: No new ones, hell not even any old ones! Only Dink with a blank empty green field…

Music: None, nothing what so ever…

Final Thoughts: Its horrible! BUT IT’S A LOST DMOD!! YAY! YAY! (Does the new lost Dmod dance)
Pros: It’s a lost Dmod
Cons: To many to mention…

Ps Im only putting the .9 because it is a lost dmod...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I never thought a D-Mod could be so bad. Dink just says a name, Adolf somthing. A name for every letter anyway...... I honestly think this is crap. My D-Mod layout map is more entertaining than this D-Mod. I AM NOT JOKING ABOUT THAT LAST STATEMENT. My ratings

Plot 0.1
Storyline -3.4
Graphics 0.0
Lasting Appeal 0.01
Overall 0.00000001

Zzzzzzzzzzz. DON'T DOWNLOAD THIS D-MOD. IT IS A BAD WASTE OF 15-40 SECONDS!!

When I first read all the reviews to this dmod, i thought well, surely a dmod couldent be that bad. I've learnt something today. When a game gets a set of reviews this bad, you feel you have a duty to check it out, and chuckle at the badness of it. this however, not only crosses the line humourusly bad (then jumps up and down and falls over and breaks its neck on the line, and bleeds over the line, and then vomits on the line, before shootting on the line), it also crosses the lines of;

*so bad it would make you puke,
*so bad that you'l find yourself contemplating suicide
*so bad that it makes you lose faith in mankind
*so bad that it makes tou lose faith in the dink network... well, not realy, im working on a dmod to do that.

Conclusion - stupid dmod, and is a waste of a precious 40 seconds, and if your like me, more, because youl feel obliged to write a bad review. i stress theese 15 words;
THIS GAME IS BEYOND HUMOROUSLY CRAP, DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT, ITS A WASTE OF TIME.

One word; Revolutionary. Rating 9.9

That was my first submission, and I can't see for the life of me why it was invalidated.

Oh... wait.

This is the worst d-mod of all time. To download it would be akin to falling backwards off a cliff, whilst holding a box of of 100 nail guns, all switched on and pointing at your (soon to be extremely holey) body.
Somebody has also tied you to the box, so you can't possibly get it off.

So don't download this d-mod. To do so would be... painful?

It was not even a game, a screen with a duck and this guy who says he is dink and calls himself to dinner cannot be counted as anything useful

Both a heartbreaking tragedy and a joyous comedy, ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ belongs to the ranks of the finest masterpieces of gaming, and of the arts in general. Comparable to Rodin in his ability to capture human emotion, ehasl paints a panoramic view of everyday life for his protagonist, a life with angst, pathos, and the sheer joy of existence. The ending is at once the acme of tragic irony and a testament to the dignity of human kind. The storytelling is accomplished with a touch similar to Kubrick, combined with the sophistication of an Oscar Wild. This dmod is humanity's greatest achievement, ever.

gah this is a piece of crap. in fact this is so cruddy that i made my account just to give it a bad review. it has got no humor at all and ISNT A GAME. please dont show him respect by downloading it. i would give it two thumbs up cut em off and squeeze the blood all over this crap.
i would vote it for the worst dmod EVER.

It isn't a DMOD. It isn't funny. It is horrible! If you want lose time: DOWNLOAD IT!

This dmod was one screen with one speech.It was not
funny.I did not laugh.But it was a quick download.
And the duck was awfully cute.