Christmas contest
1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
2. Why do we decorate the tree?
3. What have candles got to do with it?
4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
2. Why do we decorate the tree?
3. What have candles got to do with it?
4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
: 1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
Its better than a whole forest
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
An empty tree would be boring
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
Well, Its scary, knowing that your tree can burn
down if you arent home
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
We, not 1 person, we just called this week christmas
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Coca cola fan!
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Ask the weatherman!
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put
presents in?
Ask him? I dont have a chance to meet him
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
Because we love food!
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
Because it isnt happy
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
Its better than a whole forest
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
An empty tree would be boring
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
Well, Its scary, knowing that your tree can burn
down if you arent home
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
We, not 1 person, we just called this week christmas
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Coca cola fan!
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Ask the weatherman!
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put
presents in?
Ask him? I dont have a chance to meet him
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
Because we love food!
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
Because it isnt happy
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
: 1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
because fir trees are a relic of pagan rituals, and have since been taken over by christianity.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
what else are we going to do with it? since we have a tree in our house, we may as well have a bit of fun with it, eh?
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
to create a fire hazard, and keep the fire brigade on their toes. also because the person who invented this whole tree buisiness was a pyromaniac at heart.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
many "christmas" rituals are leftovers from paganism, others originate from other cultures. No one person invented christmas.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
because they look good together. also, you can draw all sorts of symbolic thingies from them (esp. when you're drunk), like: green stands for the tree, white could be snow, and red could be.... the blood of many decapitated ducks on your computer screen. dang eh?
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Because you live in the northern hemisphere. here in New Zealand, it's the middle of summer, and that sucks the motherload. alternatively, it could be the weather man screwing with your mind.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
Because santa is a freak, and besides, he needs something to put the presents in, right? you could leave gumboots, but then the presents would smell. (besides, you can't fit a ducatti in a gumboot).
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
because we want to?? eating is good, because it's not every day of the year you get to eat such yummy food, as for drinking, well, it's just an excuse to get really drunk, right? (and of course, you must eat when you drink, the TV says so).mmmmm... cider...
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
because christmas is when everyone is stressed from too much rampant consumerism, and besides, we didn't have thaqt much money to begin with, so christmas is pretty dumb anyway. also, sometimes yor crazy relatives decide to stay, and that sucks too.
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
cool, do i get a plaque?
i hope i haven't offended people who are christmas fanatics, because, as you can probably tell, christmas is one celebration i could do without. or at least the money side of things. good food and plenty of cider is allways nice though.
because fir trees are a relic of pagan rituals, and have since been taken over by christianity.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
what else are we going to do with it? since we have a tree in our house, we may as well have a bit of fun with it, eh?
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
to create a fire hazard, and keep the fire brigade on their toes. also because the person who invented this whole tree buisiness was a pyromaniac at heart.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
many "christmas" rituals are leftovers from paganism, others originate from other cultures. No one person invented christmas.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
because they look good together. also, you can draw all sorts of symbolic thingies from them (esp. when you're drunk), like: green stands for the tree, white could be snow, and red could be.... the blood of many decapitated ducks on your computer screen. dang eh?
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Because you live in the northern hemisphere. here in New Zealand, it's the middle of summer, and that sucks the motherload. alternatively, it could be the weather man screwing with your mind.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
Because santa is a freak, and besides, he needs something to put the presents in, right? you could leave gumboots, but then the presents would smell. (besides, you can't fit a ducatti in a gumboot).
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
because we want to?? eating is good, because it's not every day of the year you get to eat such yummy food, as for drinking, well, it's just an excuse to get really drunk, right? (and of course, you must eat when you drink, the TV says so).mmmmm... cider...
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
because christmas is when everyone is stressed from too much rampant consumerism, and besides, we didn't have thaqt much money to begin with, so christmas is pretty dumb anyway. also, sometimes yor crazy relatives decide to stay, and that sucks too.
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
cool, do i get a plaque?
i hope i haven't offended people who are christmas fanatics, because, as you can probably tell, christmas is one celebration i could do without. or at least the money side of things. good food and plenty of cider is allways nice though.
: 1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
It's too cold to party outside.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
'Cos the birds can't get inside to do it for us.
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
For making wishes, like on your birthday cake.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
Hungarians.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
To match the colours of the Hungarian flag.
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
God is busy on Christmas day, for goodness sake. He can't be taking time to make it snow.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
He just likes the smell.
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
It's got to do with the Hungary thing.
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
It's that Hungary thing again.
It's too cold to party outside.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
'Cos the birds can't get inside to do it for us.
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
For making wishes, like on your birthday cake.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
Hungarians.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
To match the colours of the Hungarian flag.
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
God is busy on Christmas day, for goodness sake. He can't be taking time to make it snow.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
He just likes the smell.
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
It's got to do with the Hungary thing.
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
It's that Hungary thing again.
: 1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
Commercialism
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
More commercialism
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
Uh.. probably commercialism.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
I think someone named Jesus
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Good christmas marketing! Some marketing dude thought this up, everyone followed him
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Murphy's law?
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
He just leaves his presents under the tree in Europe, stockings represent commercialism!
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
We're western pigs!
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
Some people don't get along.. If you've got some of those people stuck in a family, you've got problems
And the drinking might have something to do with it too
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
OMG, I hope it's me
Commercialism
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
More commercialism
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
Uh.. probably commercialism.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
I think someone named Jesus
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Good christmas marketing! Some marketing dude thought this up, everyone followed him
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Murphy's law?
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
He just leaves his presents under the tree in Europe, stockings represent commercialism!
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
We're western pigs!
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
Some people don't get along.. If you've got some of those people stuck in a family, you've got problems
And the drinking might have something to do with it too
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
OMG, I hope it's me
: : 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
: I think someone named Jesus
Wrong, it was a pegan holiday (new year type of thing), when jesus was born and everything, christianity adopted the holiday and changed the date of it to what it is now.
--WC
: I think someone named Jesus
Wrong, it was a pegan holiday (new year type of thing), when jesus was born and everything, christianity adopted the holiday and changed the date of it to what it is now.
--WC
1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
Cuz jesus is made of wood
2. Why do we decorate the tree?
Cuz jeebus doesn't like to plain old wood all reay round
3. What have candles got to do with it?
Atheists would have candles to burn the wooden tree, hence killing jeebus
4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
WC invented christmas, thats why its a time for people to get drunk and start fights with their family (have you seen a pic of WC lately? he wears a wifebeater shirt ;P)
5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
those are the colors of jeebus trading cards
6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
cuz jeebus is a tropical person, he likes to go to hawaii and sit on the beach drinking tropical punch
7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
he likes to smell socks
8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
its only natural
9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
cuz we dont choose who our family is, EXAMPLE: WC could be family- you wouldnt get along with him when you got near him, and you would always want to give him a fat lip unfortunately)
The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
i lose again
Cuz jesus is made of wood
2. Why do we decorate the tree?
Cuz jeebus doesn't like to plain old wood all reay round
3. What have candles got to do with it?
Atheists would have candles to burn the wooden tree, hence killing jeebus
4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
WC invented christmas, thats why its a time for people to get drunk and start fights with their family (have you seen a pic of WC lately? he wears a wifebeater shirt ;P)
5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
those are the colors of jeebus trading cards
6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
cuz jeebus is a tropical person, he likes to go to hawaii and sit on the beach drinking tropical punch
7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
he likes to smell socks
8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
its only natural
9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
cuz we dont choose who our family is, EXAMPLE: WC could be family- you wouldnt get along with him when you got near him, and you would always want to give him a fat lip unfortunately)
The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
i lose again
: 1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
Because otherwise our living room looks kind of funny. I mean, if we just have a heap of presents sitting in the corner with no tree, it's really anti-Feng Shui.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
Tcha! *We* don't. We have people who do that for us. They're called the little cousins.
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
Well, if you hold a lit candle close enough to something flammable, you can create a very pretty buring effect. I'm a regular Martha Stewart, no?
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
Probably the government, or the greeting card companies.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Those are the various colors you turn after eating too much of my Grandma's cooking.
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Because the weather just likes to mock you. It hates you, and wants to ensure you are unhappy for all your natural life.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
It's not like there's a better recepticle for presents... what else is he gonna use? Tupperware?
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
Because food rocks! *drool*
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
Someone just used "happy" and "family" in the same sentance?! AUGH! Apocalypse is coming!
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
Can I just have the (atic) part?
Because otherwise our living room looks kind of funny. I mean, if we just have a heap of presents sitting in the corner with no tree, it's really anti-Feng Shui.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
Tcha! *We* don't. We have people who do that for us. They're called the little cousins.
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
Well, if you hold a lit candle close enough to something flammable, you can create a very pretty buring effect. I'm a regular Martha Stewart, no?
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
Probably the government, or the greeting card companies.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Those are the various colors you turn after eating too much of my Grandma's cooking.
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Because the weather just likes to mock you. It hates you, and wants to ensure you are unhappy for all your natural life.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
It's not like there's a better recepticle for presents... what else is he gonna use? Tupperware?
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
Because food rocks! *drool*
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
Someone just used "happy" and "family" in the same sentance?! AUGH! Apocalypse is coming!
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
Can I just have the (atic) part?
December 20th 2002, 08:41 PM
Jeff
: 1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
Because giraffes are too tall and they whine that the lights are too hot on their neck.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
Because giraffes are ugly.
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
They stay lit longer than dynamite.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
Microsoft? Good cash grab before the end of the year.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Those are the only colours you see after a few too many Christmas cheer drinks.
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Where I live that statement is AFTER Halloween.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
Rumour has it that if you get a present from Santa that fits in a stocking you have been bad. Think about it!
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
If you decorate your giraffe with beer bottles you don't ever eat too much. Don't put lights on the bottles.
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
If the dinner is at your house don't argue because you are the KING or Queen. They have to leave but you do not.
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
Because giraffes are too tall and they whine that the lights are too hot on their neck.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
Because giraffes are ugly.
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
They stay lit longer than dynamite.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
Microsoft? Good cash grab before the end of the year.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Those are the only colours you see after a few too many Christmas cheer drinks.
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Where I live that statement is AFTER Halloween.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
Rumour has it that if you get a present from Santa that fits in a stocking you have been bad. Think about it!
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
If you decorate your giraffe with beer bottles you don't ever eat too much. Don't put lights on the bottles.
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
If the dinner is at your house don't argue because you are the KING or Queen. They have to leave but you do not.
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
: 1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
Why not? It looks nice, and it gives you that warm 'christmas feeling' inside *hugs closest someone*
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
Because we got too much spare time in christmas holiday
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
BURN BABY, BURN!
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
The governement. They smell money. You do the math
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Simple: white is for snow, red is for Santa's clothing, and green... ehm... green is a very nice color indeed... hehe
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
'cause the gods have humor
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
Stockings are smelly. Santa likes smelly stuff
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
Are you serious? what's better than get yourself drunk AND eat yourself stuck?
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
It's the frustration!! AAARGH!!!
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
I think it's clear who that is
Why not? It looks nice, and it gives you that warm 'christmas feeling' inside
*hugs closest someone*: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
Because we got too much spare time in christmas holiday
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
BURN BABY, BURN!
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
The governement. They smell money. You do the math
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
Simple: white is for snow, red is for Santa's clothing, and green... ehm... green is a very nice color indeed... hehe
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
'cause the gods have humor
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
Stockings are smelly. Santa likes smelly stuff
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
Are you serious? what's better than get yourself drunk AND eat yourself stuck?
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
It's the frustration!! AAARGH!!!
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
I think it's clear who that is
