Reply to Re: Christmas contest
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: 1. Why do we put a tree in our house?
because fir trees are a relic of pagan rituals, and have since been taken over by christianity.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
what else are we going to do with it? since we have a tree in our house, we may as well have a bit of fun with it, eh?
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
to create a fire hazard, and keep the fire brigade on their toes. also because the person who invented this whole tree buisiness was a pyromaniac at heart.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
many "christmas" rituals are leftovers from paganism, others originate from other cultures. No one person invented christmas.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
because they look good together. also, you can draw all sorts of symbolic thingies from them (esp. when you're drunk), like: green stands for the tree, white could be snow, and red could be.... the blood of many decapitated ducks on your computer screen. dang eh?
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Because you live in the northern hemisphere. here in New Zealand, it's the middle of summer, and that sucks the motherload. alternatively, it could be the weather man screwing with your mind.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
Because santa is a freak, and besides, he needs something to put the presents in, right? you could leave gumboots, but then the presents would smell. (besides, you can't fit a ducatti in a gumboot).
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
because we want to?? eating is good, because it's not every day of the year you get to eat such yummy food, as for drinking, well, it's just an excuse to get really drunk, right? (and of course, you must eat when you drink, the TV says so).mmmmm... cider...
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
because christmas is when everyone is stressed from too much rampant consumerism, and besides, we didn't have thaqt much money to begin with, so christmas is pretty dumb anyway. also, sometimes yor crazy relatives decide to stay, and that sucks too.
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
cool, do i get a plaque?
i hope i haven't offended people who are christmas fanatics, because, as you can probably tell, christmas is one celebration i could do without. or at least the money side of things. good food and plenty of cider is allways nice though.
because fir trees are a relic of pagan rituals, and have since been taken over by christianity.
: 2. Why do we decorate the tree?
what else are we going to do with it? since we have a tree in our house, we may as well have a bit of fun with it, eh?
: 3. What have candles got to do with it?
to create a fire hazard, and keep the fire brigade on their toes. also because the person who invented this whole tree buisiness was a pyromaniac at heart.
: 4. Who 'invented' Christmas?
many "christmas" rituals are leftovers from paganism, others originate from other cultures. No one person invented christmas.
: 5. Why are the traditional Christmas colours white, red and green?
because they look good together. also, you can draw all sorts of symbolic thingies from them (esp. when you're drunk), like: green stands for the tree, white could be snow, and red could be.... the blood of many decapitated ducks on your computer screen. dang eh?
: 6. Why does it always starts to snow the day AFTER Christmas?
Because you live in the northern hemisphere. here in New Zealand, it's the middle of summer, and that sucks the motherload. alternatively, it could be the weather man screwing with your mind.
: 7. Why does Santa need a stocking to put presents in?
Because santa is a freak, and besides, he needs something to put the presents in, right? you could leave gumboots, but then the presents would smell. (besides, you can't fit a ducatti in a gumboot).
: 8. Why do we always eat and drink way too much?
because we want to?? eating is good, because it's not every day of the year you get to eat such yummy food, as for drinking, well, it's just an excuse to get really drunk, right? (and of course, you must eat when you drink, the TV says so).mmmmm... cider...
: 9. Why do we always argue when it's supposed to be a happy family thingie?
because christmas is when everyone is stressed from too much rampant consumerism, and besides, we didn't have thaqt much money to begin with, so christmas is pretty dumb anyway. also, sometimes yor crazy relatives decide to stay, and that sucks too.
: The winner will be granted the title 'Santa fan(atic) of 2002'.
cool, do i get a plaque?
i hope i haven't offended people who are christmas fanatics, because, as you can probably tell, christmas is one celebration i could do without. or at least the money side of things. good food and plenty of cider is allways nice though.
