Re: Relationship Hilarity!
So this girl I think liked me and I liked her too. Well it was one week before I was leaving to move to Pennsylvania and me and her were meeting for the last time. While me and her were talking outside her back porch she leaned over and whispered in my ear "I want to have sex with you!". I was so startled that I immediately I thought I was hearing a TV (which was on in the house to my left)
What did I say? I said '...I have an ear infection and I have been deaf in that ear all week...what did you say?' She walked away seeming annoyed. It wasnt until later that I figured out what she said and before anyone PM's me about it...I REALLY DID HAVE AN EAR INFECTION IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! It just happened to be that of the four times I get an ear infection (from swimming) that week when she asked happened to be one of them...and she just happened to choose the deaf ear to speak into. I sincerely regret it not only, because I missed out, but I probably hurt her feelings.
If you wonder how I heard it though didnt know it was her. Well I could hear it from my good ear, but it was so faint I didnt realise it was from opposite side so I thought it was a voice from far away. There was a TV on in the house towards my good ear which I could hear and I initally thought thats where her voice came from til I realised she was standing right next to me.
Next week I will post my next lame adventure in this epic saga.
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
P.S.
Dont feel bad for me. I write these stories, because their so hilariously bizarre I know they make people laugh. Besides these storys are all in the past and I have no reason to worry over it now.
What did I say? I said '...I have an ear infection and I have been deaf in that ear all week...what did you say?' She walked away seeming annoyed. It wasnt until later that I figured out what she said and before anyone PM's me about it...I REALLY DID HAVE AN EAR INFECTION IT WAS NOT MY FAULT! It just happened to be that of the four times I get an ear infection (from swimming) that week when she asked happened to be one of them...and she just happened to choose the deaf ear to speak into. I sincerely regret it not only, because I missed out, but I probably hurt her feelings.
If you wonder how I heard it though didnt know it was her. Well I could hear it from my good ear, but it was so faint I didnt realise it was from opposite side so I thought it was a voice from far away. There was a TV on in the house towards my good ear which I could hear and I initally thought thats where her voice came from til I realised she was standing right next to me.
Next week I will post my next lame adventure in this epic saga.
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
P.S.
Dont feel bad for me. I write these stories, because their so hilariously bizarre I know they make people laugh. Besides these storys are all in the past and I have no reason to worry over it now.
Isn't it such a bummer when you have the opportunity to bed a hottie, but completely screw it up? Yep. 
She was a bit fat though...like over 350 lbs. Not that I'd mind.
,
The Vault Dweller
,The Vault Dweller
a bummer? no, not really. wanna know why?
i recall these 2 really hot gothic girls in high school who i hardly knew, but one thing i did know was that both of them were A. skanks and B. lesbian
if you were to use common sense in this situation, you would realize that they both C. HAVE CRABS. DONT HAVE SEX WITH STRANGERS, KIDS!!111111111
just say no. but sure, theres always that little part deep down inside thats like dammit i coulda screwed marilyn manson but i missed out. but is it worth getting genital warts?
i recall these 2 really hot gothic girls in high school who i hardly knew, but one thing i did know was that both of them were A. skanks and B. lesbian
if you were to use common sense in this situation, you would realize that they both C. HAVE CRABS. DONT HAVE SEX WITH STRANGERS, KIDS!!111111111
just say no. but sure, theres always that little part deep down inside thats like dammit i coulda screwed marilyn manson but i missed out. but is it worth getting genital warts?
Marilyn manson??...or marilyn monroe
Me too and I am one...We need a book fo sho
Maybe..."How to know if you are a teenager, symptoms and treatments" sounds good to me
Maybe..."How to know if you are a teenager, symptoms and treatments" sounds good to me
In my last year at High school I had a class with a girl. She was the class Valedictorian and beautiful plus very nice...not stuck up at all. One day I notice she keeps smiling at me in class. That afternoon I sat outside the school waiting for my Dad to pick me up. Well she comes out of her car in the parking lot and comes to me. She says "Hey how would you like a ride home?" I thought to myself and responded logically. "No thanks my Dad is picking me up." She left in a fast little white car. Five minutes later...
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
-_________________________________-
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
-_________________________________-
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
LMAO. What would your dad have thought if you'd stood him up?
You make a good point, and I knew that well enough. I was just kidding around; I haven't actually screwed anyone. There are two or three girls that I regret not having at least groped, though.
The darkest secret...
Ya know when older people say things like 'If only I had known then what I know now...' ?
Most of them mean they wish they had taken the plung and had sex more.
The others did, but wish they hadn't.
Learn about protection, be with those you actually *care* about, and just live like you're alive.
Ya know when older people say things like 'If only I had known then what I know now...' ?
Most of them mean they wish they had taken the plung and had sex more.
The others did, but wish they hadn't.
Learn about protection, be with those you actually *care* about, and just live like you're alive.
March 23rd 2005, 04:01 AM
^_^
Forget about people,
Develop a weird fetish to some kind of object and then if you want to be with others find ppl with the same weird fetish.
Develop a weird fetish to some kind of object and then if you want to be with others find ppl with the same weird fetish.
I could take your advice and form a fetish for your name/symbol...prince or is it the artist formly known as prince...ok ill shut up now sorry
Yeah, I remember stuff like that. Ah, so many missed opportunities due to me just not paying attention for some reason. Thankfully, there was a certain point at which I finally just started getting it. I think that point is where you actually get with a girl, really.
Well, if they really were lesbians, then you really wouldn't have to worry about having sex with them.
Forget about people,
Develop a weird fetish to some kind of object and then if you want to be with others find ppl with the same weird fetish.
We already do that here. Say "banana" and watch what happens...
,
The Vault Dweller
Develop a weird fetish to some kind of object and then if you want to be with others find ppl with the same weird fetish.
We already do that here. Say "banana" and watch what happens...
,The Vault Dweller
I do that In real life, and now my family Is starting to do It
i mean lesbian as in such massive sluts that they screw even girls
*tap shoulder*
If you're implying what I think you're implying - and if not, then I suppose you're just being terrifically redundant - then you mean that they have sex with guys and are slutty enough to engage in sexual activities with girls also. This type of person is not typically considered a lesbian, but rather, a bisexual.
If you're implying what I think you're implying - and if not, then I suppose you're just being terrifically redundant - then you mean that they have sex with guys and are slutty enough to engage in sexual activities with girls also. This type of person is not typically considered a lesbian, but rather, a bisexual.
Or take lessons from me... first you must call me mac daddy pimp man and you have to let me choke you when you dont give me all your money whenever we meet on a street corner...
Kind of hard when you're not 18 and prostitution is techncially "illegal".
Well, unless you want to move, of course. The quote under this seems fitting somehow:
WARNING: Tal is willing to unclothe himself for charity.
WARNING: Tal is willing to unclothe himself for charity.
I think Reagon once said,"Politics is the second oldest occupation...though it resembles the first," When I first this I didnt think much of it till I learned the oldest occupation was proverbily prositution...
(caution: Too lazy to look up actual quote and my memory is hazy and its too late it might of been the other way around)
oh yea I guess I can add a story maybe...maybe its too adultish ohh anywho ill keep to the basics
I was driving home from the bowling team tourny (bowling roxs hardcore) and two of the girls on the girl varsity team were riding with me and they were studing for a exam the next day in the back seat and a friend of mine (guy friend) was sitting in the passenger seat. All of a sudden one said, "lets play a game, ill ask a question off of our history test and if you two get it right well streak around your car at the next red light...but if you get it wroung you two have to..ok?" of corse I was like "hell yeah" and as seeing that i was in the same class with them I thought i would get it for sure...then they asked a very obscure question like" who wrote the pendelton act in 1910" and I said roosevelt...WHY DID I SAY ROOSEVELT?!?!?!...the guy who wrote it named it after himself...so sadly on one wintery south mississippi night ( which in south mississippi night is about 65 degrees F...you convert to C and youll see how "cold" it was) Me and another guy ran around my car twice and then they locked us out and we stood out there for 10 minutes until they finally let us in and instead of putting our clothes back on, we took off like lightning to get the heater going....but luckily they were team players and a little later they got naked too and we...uhh..."played doctor"?? yes thats it "played doctor"...
Moral of this story: DO IT...it will probably pay off in the end.
Not exactly the same as vault dwellers but mine at least had a "happy" ending...
(caution: Too lazy to look up actual quote and my memory is hazy and its too late it might of been the other way around)
oh yea I guess I can add a story maybe...maybe its too adultish ohh anywho ill keep to the basics
I was driving home from the bowling team tourny (bowling roxs hardcore) and two of the girls on the girl varsity team were riding with me and they were studing for a exam the next day in the back seat and a friend of mine (guy friend) was sitting in the passenger seat. All of a sudden one said, "lets play a game, ill ask a question off of our history test and if you two get it right well streak around your car at the next red light...but if you get it wroung you two have to..ok?" of corse I was like "hell yeah" and as seeing that i was in the same class with them I thought i would get it for sure...then they asked a very obscure question like" who wrote the pendelton act in 1910" and I said roosevelt...WHY DID I SAY ROOSEVELT?!?!?!...the guy who wrote it named it after himself...so sadly on one wintery south mississippi night ( which in south mississippi night is about 65 degrees F...you convert to C and youll see how "cold" it was) Me and another guy ran around my car twice and then they locked us out and we stood out there for 10 minutes until they finally let us in and instead of putting our clothes back on, we took off like lightning to get the heater going....but luckily they were team players and a little later they got naked too and we...uhh..."played doctor"?? yes thats it "played doctor"...
Moral of this story: DO IT...it will probably pay off in the end.
Not exactly the same as vault dwellers but mine at least had a "happy" ending...
prostitution is techncially "illegal".
Prostitution is illegal?!? This does not bode well...
Prostitution is illegal?!? This does not bode well...
( which in south mississippi night is about 65 degrees F...you convert to C and youll see how "cold" it was)
That's over 18C. people sunbathe around here when it's that warm.
If someone's desperate for sex, get drunk and head to town with a pack of condoms in hand...
That's over 18C. people sunbathe around here when it's that warm.
If someone's desperate for sex, get drunk and head to town with a pack of condoms in hand...
T-shirt weather is anything above 15ish below, C. But then again, I'm considered a bit of an oddity up here in canada. Most people start at -5C.
-5 ? Where did I put my summer dresses?
0 ? If you dare wear short shorts...
+5 ? Let's go swimming!!
+10 ? Time for ice cream!
+15 ? Aw man,it's too dang hot!I'm gonna get
heat stroke or something
0 ? If you dare wear short shorts...
+5 ? Let's go swimming!!
+10 ? Time for ice cream!
+15 ? Aw man,it's too dang hot!I'm gonna get
heat stroke or something
Prostitution is legal here(yay?!?) since a couple of years ago. So now it comes under all the same rules and regulations as every other career.
I was going to apply for a job but then I realised I might be hired and decided not to.
I was going to apply for a job but then I realised I might be hired and decided not to.
Yeah chaotic one was very sexy and the other...well...wasnt benefiting from comparison...
my old chem teacher always said temps in C...Which really scared me until I learned that it was C and not F...I was the only kid that day wearing the only jacket I own and two pairs of pants...it was emotionally scaring
my old chem teacher always said temps in C...Which really scared me until I learned that it was C and not F...I was the only kid that day wearing the only jacket I own and two pairs of pants...it was emotionally scaring
The third and (hopefully) final story in the saga begins!
It was my first year in college. In the anime club there that I attended was run by three girls one of which seemed exceptionally nice to me. She was beautiful in my idea of it. I mean I dont like to judge people physically, but I cant help but to have preferences for certain things. She had those. Red hair, blue eyes, and a few freckles. The hair came all the way down to her waist even. Oh and she dressed like a tomboy. She was also interested in the same things I was; gaming, anime, and tabletop rpg's. She was even going to college to become a Veterinarian which I think is commendable. (Im a Biologist) So one day Im really nice to her after getting to know her a bit...it was a day she wasnt leaving the college until in the evening and both me and her were done with classes around noon. I spent most of that afternoon talking and doing various things with her. So at one point she says she tired and she lies down on the seat across from me (were in booths in the cafeteria) and I just start reading while she rests. Then abruptly and without telling me she gets up and comes to my side of the booth. There she sits down and lays her head on my shoulder and (I think) went back to sleep. I sat there. A million thoughts entered and left my head. I wanted to try and provide comfort, but when I asked "Would you like some sort of pillow?" she said "No its alright.". So I just let her stay there hoping thats what she wanted. I obviously knew she wanted to be more than friends. I just didnt know how to go about it. I dont know how much time went by, but eventually she got up. It was time for her to leave (she was going with friends) and we exchanged pleasantries. I hoped to see her again...
(and thats only the first half of this story)
So the girls name was pronounced "Caillen". I had never seen it spelled and I know from a book of names the male version is Caillen and the female is Kaeylin. I had no idea which name it was...
(that fact becomes relevant later in the story)
That was the last meeting of the anime club before summer break and I wasnt going to see any of them including Caillen until next year. Fortunately her friend (one of the other two girls running the club whom I knew online) said I could read her Livejournal for fun and that Caillen often made remarks there. So I did and found out Caillen is one of her net friends with her own Livejournal. Also that the name of her user name is "Caillen" thus leaving me to decide it is not "Kaelyn". So I go and read all of Caillen's journal entry's and learn more about her then I use to know by leaps and bounds. She liked not just games, but rpg's mostly. She not only watched anime, but wrote fanfictions. (so she's dedicated) She also likes to use Linux...thats right...a chick that can use Linux?! (drools)
So I find her AIM name and we talk for a whole month. Everything about her is the same as I knew her in real life. So one day were talking and I break it to her. I tell her how much I like her and everything and how bad I felt about what happened. She started giving weird short responses like "Oh" or "Thats nice." So I finally ask "I know you live in New Jersey not far from the Pennsylvania border...would you mind if I came to visit you or just talked to you on the phone?" Suddenly a great burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I realised now I had politely and honestly asked a female to meet me and enjoy life together. The possibilities filled my head...then;
-Her: "You live on the East Coast of the United States?"
-Me: "Yes of course."
-Her: "Well you seem nice and all...however I live in the Phillippines."
My heart wretched in a vile throb of deadened glee. WTF!? How could she live there...I actually asked if she was sure and she said she was more or less correct.
Later I had a chat with Nancy the one girl whom I knew Caillen through online one of the other girls who helped run the anime club. I told her the whole thing...it turns out she has two friends named Caillen...one on the internet who happens to have a livejournal and likes the same anime's she does and one from real life who she occasionally chats with and helps run the anime club. Turns out I met the "wrong" Caillen...the online one with the livejournal. In a desperate attempt to meet the real "Caillen" I then ask about her how I can contact her. Well it turns out the Caillen I wanted moved to Los Angeles over the Summer...to Pasadena near where I used to live! Thinking all is lost I asked for an email. It turns out they werent really good friends and when she left they never emailed one another...so she cut the address out one day while purging the excessive amounts of names she gets online.
-Nancy: By the way...didnt you know she wasnt called "Caillen"? Thats a scottish boys name you know. The only reason my one friend has it is, because she left Hong-Kong before the Communists took over and went to the Phillippines where they have jobs for people that can teach English. She did grow up in a family that had some British ties from way back...hence the name. Oh that and she's a tomboy.
-Me: What was the name of the girl I knew then?
-Nancy: Oh thats easy...[u]Kaelyn[/b].
Seriously. First I miss out on asking to do something interesting with her. Second I get her name wrong and end up talking to someone halfway across the world. Third I find out she moved back to where I use to live, but dont live anymore. Finally I cant even have her email since it was deleted just before I asked about it.
Hehehehehe...ahahaahahahahaha. Hahahahaha! Muwahahalllllllllrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg...
,
The Vault Dweller
It was my first year in college. In the anime club there that I attended was run by three girls one of which seemed exceptionally nice to me. She was beautiful in my idea of it. I mean I dont like to judge people physically, but I cant help but to have preferences for certain things. She had those. Red hair, blue eyes, and a few freckles. The hair came all the way down to her waist even. Oh and she dressed like a tomboy. She was also interested in the same things I was; gaming, anime, and tabletop rpg's. She was even going to college to become a Veterinarian which I think is commendable. (Im a Biologist) So one day Im really nice to her after getting to know her a bit...it was a day she wasnt leaving the college until in the evening and both me and her were done with classes around noon. I spent most of that afternoon talking and doing various things with her. So at one point she says she tired and she lies down on the seat across from me (were in booths in the cafeteria) and I just start reading while she rests. Then abruptly and without telling me she gets up and comes to my side of the booth. There she sits down and lays her head on my shoulder and (I think) went back to sleep. I sat there. A million thoughts entered and left my head. I wanted to try and provide comfort, but when I asked "Would you like some sort of pillow?" she said "No its alright.". So I just let her stay there hoping thats what she wanted. I obviously knew she wanted to be more than friends. I just didnt know how to go about it. I dont know how much time went by, but eventually she got up. It was time for her to leave (she was going with friends) and we exchanged pleasantries. I hoped to see her again...
(and thats only the first half of this story)
So the girls name was pronounced "Caillen". I had never seen it spelled and I know from a book of names the male version is Caillen and the female is Kaeylin. I had no idea which name it was...
(that fact becomes relevant later in the story)
That was the last meeting of the anime club before summer break and I wasnt going to see any of them including Caillen until next year. Fortunately her friend (one of the other two girls running the club whom I knew online) said I could read her Livejournal for fun and that Caillen often made remarks there. So I did and found out Caillen is one of her net friends with her own Livejournal. Also that the name of her user name is "Caillen" thus leaving me to decide it is not "Kaelyn". So I go and read all of Caillen's journal entry's and learn more about her then I use to know by leaps and bounds. She liked not just games, but rpg's mostly. She not only watched anime, but wrote fanfictions. (so she's dedicated) She also likes to use Linux...thats right...a chick that can use Linux?! (drools)
So I find her AIM name and we talk for a whole month. Everything about her is the same as I knew her in real life. So one day were talking and I break it to her. I tell her how much I like her and everything and how bad I felt about what happened. She started giving weird short responses like "Oh" or "Thats nice." So I finally ask "I know you live in New Jersey not far from the Pennsylvania border...would you mind if I came to visit you or just talked to you on the phone?" Suddenly a great burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I realised now I had politely and honestly asked a female to meet me and enjoy life together. The possibilities filled my head...then;
-Her: "You live on the East Coast of the United States?"
-Me: "Yes of course."
-Her: "Well you seem nice and all...however I live in the Phillippines."
My heart wretched in a vile throb of deadened glee. WTF!? How could she live there...I actually asked if she was sure and she said she was more or less correct.
Later I had a chat with Nancy the one girl whom I knew Caillen through online one of the other girls who helped run the anime club. I told her the whole thing...it turns out she has two friends named Caillen...one on the internet who happens to have a livejournal and likes the same anime's she does and one from real life who she occasionally chats with and helps run the anime club. Turns out I met the "wrong" Caillen...the online one with the livejournal. In a desperate attempt to meet the real "Caillen" I then ask about her how I can contact her. Well it turns out the Caillen I wanted moved to Los Angeles over the Summer...to Pasadena near where I used to live! Thinking all is lost I asked for an email. It turns out they werent really good friends and when she left they never emailed one another...so she cut the address out one day while purging the excessive amounts of names she gets online.
-Nancy: By the way...didnt you know she wasnt called "Caillen"? Thats a scottish boys name you know. The only reason my one friend has it is, because she left Hong-Kong before the Communists took over and went to the Phillippines where they have jobs for people that can teach English. She did grow up in a family that had some British ties from way back...hence the name. Oh that and she's a tomboy.
-Me: What was the name of the girl I knew then?
-Nancy: Oh thats easy...[u]Kaelyn[/b].
Seriously. First I miss out on asking to do something interesting with her. Second I get her name wrong and end up talking to someone halfway across the world. Third I find out she moved back to where I use to live, but dont live anymore. Finally I cant even have her email since it was deleted just before I asked about it.
Hehehehehe...ahahaahahahahaha. Hahahahaha! Muwahahalllllllllrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg...
, The Vault Dweller
You're love life is a mess. lol You better call Will Smith.
Love your anecdotes. Can I use them in a story some time?
Love your anecdotes. Can I use them in a story some time?
I think it's time to crack open that can of suicide powder - your unbelievably bad luck with the opposite sex might be contagious, and could well destroy the whole human race.
Which is less fun that it sounds.
Which is less fun that it sounds.
Instead of prositutes,they call themselves escorts here.They even put ads in the classifieds for 'generous' gentlemen.Hah!Totally legal too.
*****
As for you, poor Vaultdweller, *hug*.Don't worry, when things suck this bad they can only get better.Eventually.Maybe.I'm kinda sure.:/
*****
As for you, poor Vaultdweller, *hug*.Don't worry, when things suck this bad they can only get better.Eventually.Maybe.I'm kinda sure.:/
i live in detroit and they have those fudgein ads in all the metro times thingies too i dont know if its advertising for canadian whores or if michigan ones are just escorts but not hookers cause i dont think thats legal here
right next door to me is New Orleans which is so corrupt that there are plenty of prositute ads and brothels along Royal st. gotta love corrupt police...
The Fangirl
-
So after being online for some years I become a member of my first forum. (its gone now) Since I had just started to enjoy anime it was an "Inuyasha" forum from a particularly popular fan-made website at the time. By some weird coincidence (probably due to a higher amount of male characters on the show) there were many more female than male members on the forum. So I start by making small posts about topics other people made then eventually start making my own and forumulating some well-developed opinions. After a half a year I was a well-respected and known member not only for being there a while, but also being a generally well natured person. I also began to talk to some of the forum members once I got AIM and many of them enjoyed talking to me. Then one day...
A new member shows up. not too uncommon as there was typically one new member a day there. However after a few months this girl starts responding to my comments very happily and enthusiastically. She only did it with me too. So then she pops up on AIM unannounced and converses with me for a month. Turns out we get along great due to alike interests, but also that she finds my behavior in dealing with all the other forum members (mostly girls) to be extremely nice. I take this all confusedly. I thought I was nice, but found no need for special mention. So then...
>Girl: Can I be...your fangirl?
>Me: Um...sure!
I had no idea what she meant. I know fangirls fawn over someone specific 'cause they love them. Why would she fawn over me though...and more importantly isnt that something you do involving fictional characters? So I thought about it and realise she must find me to be a great person in her opinion. I guess I couldnt be surprised. I acted nice, polite, and caring all while being very modest. I know this, because I have always been that way and people have called it my most liked/disliked trait.
So we talk for months during which she regularly peppered me with words like "cutie" or "sweetie" and ultimately she shared her "fangirl" status with the other members of the forum...three other girls who came forward and said the same way about me. I was happy, but kept my cool realising if I acted any different it might freak them out.
One day I was contemplating how so many other bad things had happened involving me and women. (read the last three stories posted here) It was obvious, but after the other instances I had to act. Realising this could lead to another story I made a plan. I wasnt gonna hold back. I wasnt going to act embarrassed or not speak. I was going to ask her what I waited so long to ask anyone. So after asking her some questions I figure out she's only a few years older than me and completely open for a relationship. She's also admitted she loves me. So Im chatting with her...
*
>Me: I need to ask you a question?
>Her: Ask me anything.
>Me: I know youve been nice to me and seem to like me a lot.
>Her: Awww!
>Me: I know you and me get along great and were friends.
>Her: ^_^
>Me: Well this is the type of thing I would only ask a close friend and that of the opposite sex...
>Her: (shiny eyes) Yes?
>Me: I want to ask...
>Me: Can you give me relationship advice? Cause if I met a girl like you in real life I want to have a relationship and Ive already missed out before...you know how it is.
>Her: LOL
*
I was so relieved. With someone like her giving me advice nothing would stop me...
Hey wait why dont I just date her?
Well...a month later I mulled this over and considered going all the way out to the west coast to see her. Im cheap so I dont want to travel and I have lots of stuff to do at home, but I could make the trip to see my relatives and visit her while there. Unfortunately, she was gone for a week to an anime convention. She came back...
>Her: You wont believe it!
>Me: (shocked)
>Her: Im married now!
>Me: !!
Yep. She met a wonderful guy at the anime convention who was cosplaying and fell in love with him. I cant say Im disappointed. I knew she wanted someone and Ive kept in touch with her since then. Her life has never been better. Thats actually what I would want for her so Im glad she made that choice. Its a fairy tale ending if there ever was one...
...even though Im still a virgin...
,
The Vault Dweller
P.S.
The forum was for a website that was run by a bunch of teens. It became so popular they couldnt afford to run it and its now defunct. A victim of its own success. So dont ask me if you can find these people I mention.
-
So after being online for some years I become a member of my first forum. (its gone now) Since I had just started to enjoy anime it was an "Inuyasha" forum from a particularly popular fan-made website at the time. By some weird coincidence (probably due to a higher amount of male characters on the show) there were many more female than male members on the forum. So I start by making small posts about topics other people made then eventually start making my own and forumulating some well-developed opinions. After a half a year I was a well-respected and known member not only for being there a while, but also being a generally well natured person. I also began to talk to some of the forum members once I got AIM and many of them enjoyed talking to me. Then one day...
A new member shows up. not too uncommon as there was typically one new member a day there. However after a few months this girl starts responding to my comments very happily and enthusiastically. She only did it with me too. So then she pops up on AIM unannounced and converses with me for a month. Turns out we get along great due to alike interests, but also that she finds my behavior in dealing with all the other forum members (mostly girls) to be extremely nice. I take this all confusedly. I thought I was nice, but found no need for special mention. So then...
>Girl: Can I be...your fangirl?
>Me: Um...sure!
I had no idea what she meant. I know fangirls fawn over someone specific 'cause they love them. Why would she fawn over me though...and more importantly isnt that something you do involving fictional characters? So I thought about it and realise she must find me to be a great person in her opinion. I guess I couldnt be surprised. I acted nice, polite, and caring all while being very modest. I know this, because I have always been that way and people have called it my most liked/disliked trait.
So we talk for months during which she regularly peppered me with words like "cutie" or "sweetie" and ultimately she shared her "fangirl" status with the other members of the forum...three other girls who came forward and said the same way about me. I was happy, but kept my cool realising if I acted any different it might freak them out.
One day I was contemplating how so many other bad things had happened involving me and women. (read the last three stories posted here) It was obvious, but after the other instances I had to act. Realising this could lead to another story I made a plan. I wasnt gonna hold back. I wasnt going to act embarrassed or not speak. I was going to ask her what I waited so long to ask anyone. So after asking her some questions I figure out she's only a few years older than me and completely open for a relationship. She's also admitted she loves me. So Im chatting with her...
*
>Me: I need to ask you a question?
>Her: Ask me anything.
>Me: I know youve been nice to me and seem to like me a lot.
>Her: Awww!
>Me: I know you and me get along great and were friends.
>Her: ^_^
>Me: Well this is the type of thing I would only ask a close friend and that of the opposite sex...
>Her: (shiny eyes) Yes?
>Me: I want to ask...
>Me: Can you give me relationship advice? Cause if I met a girl like you in real life I want to have a relationship and Ive already missed out before...you know how it is.
>Her: LOL
*
I was so relieved. With someone like her giving me advice nothing would stop me...
Hey wait why dont I just date her?
Well...a month later I mulled this over and considered going all the way out to the west coast to see her. Im cheap so I dont want to travel and I have lots of stuff to do at home, but I could make the trip to see my relatives and visit her while there. Unfortunately, she was gone for a week to an anime convention. She came back...
>Her: You wont believe it!
>Me: (shocked)
>Her: Im married now!
>Me: !!
Yep. She met a wonderful guy at the anime convention who was cosplaying and fell in love with him. I cant say Im disappointed. I knew she wanted someone and Ive kept in touch with her since then. Her life has never been better. Thats actually what I would want for her so Im glad she made that choice. Its a fairy tale ending if there ever was one...
...even though Im still a virgin...
, The Vault Dweller
P.S.
The forum was for a website that was run by a bunch of teens. It became so popular they couldnt afford to run it and its now defunct. A victim of its own success. So dont ask me if you can find these people I mention.
Hmm... okay... she met the guy at the convention and decided to marry him right there on the spot? That's... different. I've found most anime fangirls (or any fangirl) a bit weird in a way that doesn't jive with me.
Anyway, I think maybe I suppose the lesson to learn through this is to make an effort to be more assertive. It helps get the girl and women dig assertiveness to boot. It really helps if you can convince yourself that you have absolutely nothing to loose and in many cases it's the truth.
Anyway, I think maybe I suppose the lesson to learn through this is to make an effort to be more assertive. It helps get the girl and women dig assertiveness to boot. It really helps if you can convince yourself that you have absolutely nothing to loose and in many cases it's the truth.
Its a fairy tale ending if there ever was one... even though Im still a virgin... - Nice quote.
This next story is just so wrong its sad...its also recent as it occurred less than a month ago.
-
The Farewell that came One Second too Late
So Im belaboring how lame it is that not only have I not had a relationship, but that most people have to work to start one when I have opportunity's fall in my lap randomly. It made me realise that my complacency might be somehow to blame for me missing out yet also might be a reason for the apparent attractiveness. (Ive heard indifference is a turn on...go figure) In any case I decided to make a go at the first romantic idea I could come up with...
Way back when Kaelyn (see my third story) was wooing me in at college I was equally on good terms with the other two girls running the anime club. Two Taiwanese twins by the names of Nancy and Lorraine. They were quite amazing...both short and slim, but with one telling difference. Nancy had a husky voice more masculine while Lorraine had a loud high-pitched voice like a little girl. This was a weird reference to their psychological nature as Nancy was very reserved and quiet while Lorraine was loud and showy. The entire time I was with them they were both very friendly and helpful. (though not as much as Kaelyn)
At the end of that year they went on to another college to persue their bachelors degrees while I remained to get my associates degree. I kept in touch online though naturally nowhere near as much as in real life. I learned more about them and found them to be wonderful people though they were more interested in anime than I was and preferred console rpg's to PC.
I couldnt feel bad about this. You see though I work to help pay for college and I spend very little on non-necessities as well as being cheap on things I need I often have very little money. I have around $3,000 in my account and I usually spend a bit less than I gather through working wages in a month, but the surplus I build is demolished every six months in college costs and at the end of the year I litereally break even. Long ago I decided that of the roughly $200 I spend to make myself happy each year that if I split it up evenly on what I enjoy I would only spend about $50 each on gaming, MTG, books and anime. Ultimately I realised thats practically nothing to buy in order to be a "fan" for those things. Early on I realised I should just put all my money into two of those things. I decided on MTG (since I could win stuff in tournaments) and on books since they were cheap. So games and anime were out of the question being that they were more expensive and I would get less "time" for the money spent. Although I still retain my joy for games and anime I really cant communicate with those who do anymore since Im "out of the loop".
Yet here were two girls who Im sure liked me and I would love to get to know better. I didnt know enough about consolre rpg's or anime to start up anything more than a casual weekly chat about life that didnt really make for stimulating conversation. I would have stopped there...I WAS going to get myself a relationship though...
So I decide no matter what that if I could just get spend my money differently it would be worth it to get to know either of them better. First I should probably profess my feelings toward one of them and ask them on a date. Then I would get the information needed to start buying some things we can do/talk of together besides having a friend. It would be my first real time of "asking" for something. I also new that Nancy thought well of me since she did ask for my phone number though she never called...
I logged onto AIM and found Nancy on. I wrote up a message to start without saying hello. It went something like this;
"Nancy...I got to know you long ago and I always thought you were a wonderful person. Ive also talked to all your online friends and realise you'd like someone to...know you better. I have to be honest. I could easily be more interested in anime and just need someone to be a closer friend to me. I hear you like going out. How about you and me go to dinner my treat?"
So I sit and looked at the message. I was finally ready and felt very at ease. My right pinky finger reached down and to the right to press the "enter" button and send my message...
*Out of story*
God: "THE VAULT DWELLER! THOU SHALT NOT EVER REPRODUCE!"
*back to story*
...thats when it happened. Literally fractions of second before I hit enter the sound of a closing door could be heard. I knew what that meant, but had to check. As I hit enter (my body was already acting before my mind could stop my hand) a different text box popped up in front of the chat box preventing me from seeing what was said. The latest box in front was blinking and said "This message could not be sent, because the user Youkofujima could not be found." I clicked the "X" to close the box and was able to see the chat box again. Up at the top as the first message was the blue font that shows up when something happens to a user's status. It said;
"Youkofujima logged off of AIM at 00:02"
...I was fractions of a second late.
Ah, but is their not always a glimmer of hope? I thought I would try again the next day.
So the next day she wasnt on. I then remembered she had a livejournal though I hadnt been checking it recently since she stopped making entrys for quite a while. I read the last months few entries to my horror;
-Her: "Ive been getting straight A's my whole life waiting to get a job so I can have a happy life rich. Yet now Im rewarding even earlier since I just got accepted to a university in Japan! Apparently I can receive enough scholarships to go there for about as much money as here in the USA. I do miss Taiwan however and Japan is closer to me than the USA. Besides...I already spend so much time learning Japanese I can more or less speak it (along with Chinese and English) I wont have a problem. Though finding anime fans or other Asians should be no problem now...
Her other entires were about how excited she was...the last entry being from the day before when I tried to talk to her saying she was leaving THE VERY NEXT DAY. I checked her sister's livejournal to find a description of how she drove her sister to the airport and is going to miss her...
...she wont be the only one.
[joke]
On a lighter note Ive decided to never ever again try to do anything even closely associated with having or starting a relationship and Im going to start with a celebratory visit to a doctor to have myself spayed or neutered. (I dont remember the difference.)
[/joke]
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
-
The Farewell that came One Second too Late
So Im belaboring how lame it is that not only have I not had a relationship, but that most people have to work to start one when I have opportunity's fall in my lap randomly. It made me realise that my complacency might be somehow to blame for me missing out yet also might be a reason for the apparent attractiveness. (Ive heard indifference is a turn on...go figure) In any case I decided to make a go at the first romantic idea I could come up with...
Way back when Kaelyn (see my third story) was wooing me in at college I was equally on good terms with the other two girls running the anime club. Two Taiwanese twins by the names of Nancy and Lorraine. They were quite amazing...both short and slim, but with one telling difference. Nancy had a husky voice more masculine while Lorraine had a loud high-pitched voice like a little girl. This was a weird reference to their psychological nature as Nancy was very reserved and quiet while Lorraine was loud and showy. The entire time I was with them they were both very friendly and helpful. (though not as much as Kaelyn)
At the end of that year they went on to another college to persue their bachelors degrees while I remained to get my associates degree. I kept in touch online though naturally nowhere near as much as in real life. I learned more about them and found them to be wonderful people though they were more interested in anime than I was and preferred console rpg's to PC.
I couldnt feel bad about this. You see though I work to help pay for college and I spend very little on non-necessities as well as being cheap on things I need I often have very little money. I have around $3,000 in my account and I usually spend a bit less than I gather through working wages in a month, but the surplus I build is demolished every six months in college costs and at the end of the year I litereally break even. Long ago I decided that of the roughly $200 I spend to make myself happy each year that if I split it up evenly on what I enjoy I would only spend about $50 each on gaming, MTG, books and anime. Ultimately I realised thats practically nothing to buy in order to be a "fan" for those things. Early on I realised I should just put all my money into two of those things. I decided on MTG (since I could win stuff in tournaments) and on books since they were cheap. So games and anime were out of the question being that they were more expensive and I would get less "time" for the money spent. Although I still retain my joy for games and anime I really cant communicate with those who do anymore since Im "out of the loop".
Yet here were two girls who Im sure liked me and I would love to get to know better. I didnt know enough about consolre rpg's or anime to start up anything more than a casual weekly chat about life that didnt really make for stimulating conversation. I would have stopped there...I WAS going to get myself a relationship though...
So I decide no matter what that if I could just get spend my money differently it would be worth it to get to know either of them better. First I should probably profess my feelings toward one of them and ask them on a date. Then I would get the information needed to start buying some things we can do/talk of together besides having a friend. It would be my first real time of "asking" for something. I also new that Nancy thought well of me since she did ask for my phone number though she never called...
I logged onto AIM and found Nancy on. I wrote up a message to start without saying hello. It went something like this;
"Nancy...I got to know you long ago and I always thought you were a wonderful person. Ive also talked to all your online friends and realise you'd like someone to...know you better. I have to be honest. I could easily be more interested in anime and just need someone to be a closer friend to me. I hear you like going out. How about you and me go to dinner my treat?"
So I sit and looked at the message. I was finally ready and felt very at ease. My right pinky finger reached down and to the right to press the "enter" button and send my message...
*Out of story*
God: "THE VAULT DWELLER! THOU SHALT NOT EVER REPRODUCE!"
*back to story*
...thats when it happened. Literally fractions of second before I hit enter the sound of a closing door could be heard. I knew what that meant, but had to check. As I hit enter (my body was already acting before my mind could stop my hand) a different text box popped up in front of the chat box preventing me from seeing what was said. The latest box in front was blinking and said "This message could not be sent, because the user Youkofujima could not be found." I clicked the "X" to close the box and was able to see the chat box again. Up at the top as the first message was the blue font that shows up when something happens to a user's status. It said;
"Youkofujima logged off of AIM at 00:02"
...I was fractions of a second late.
Ah, but is their not always a glimmer of hope? I thought I would try again the next day.
So the next day she wasnt on. I then remembered she had a livejournal though I hadnt been checking it recently since she stopped making entrys for quite a while. I read the last months few entries to my horror;
-Her: "Ive been getting straight A's my whole life waiting to get a job so I can have a happy life rich. Yet now Im rewarding even earlier since I just got accepted to a university in Japan! Apparently I can receive enough scholarships to go there for about as much money as here in the USA. I do miss Taiwan however and Japan is closer to me than the USA. Besides...I already spend so much time learning Japanese I can more or less speak it (along with Chinese and English) I wont have a problem. Though finding anime fans or other Asians should be no problem now...
Her other entires were about how excited she was...the last entry being from the day before when I tried to talk to her saying she was leaving THE VERY NEXT DAY. I checked her sister's livejournal to find a description of how she drove her sister to the airport and is going to miss her...
...she wont be the only one.
[joke]
On a lighter note Ive decided to never ever again try to do anything even closely associated with having or starting a relationship and Im going to start with a celebratory visit to a doctor to have myself spayed or neutered. (I dont remember the difference.)
[/joke]
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
Just as a hint, don't ask people out online. It does not work. It's foolish and rude. It may leave an imprint of a hand upon your face. And if you can't ask them out to thier face, do you want to go out with them?
/Angry. Lets the old threads die!
/Angry. Lets the old threads die!
The Fanclub
If you remember from my story entitled "The Fangirl" I once had an unnofficial fanclub composed of girls from a forum that inexplicably clung to me for reason's that are still unclear. This included a special banner with the names of those involved which they all put in their signature's.
Well one of those girls, the one in "The Fangirl", who actually was the funniest of them all led me to create that story, however the other girls are equally interesting...I just never got as involved with them as I did with TalisX.
The preceding stories are just short clips that show the single funniest things that occurred while talking to them. Now I will note that I only knew them over the internet and while that probably shouldnt classify that as anything significant I prefer to think of people online as significant if they do something that is based in reality, like say sending me a picture or talking to me on the phone or offering to do such. In any case I hope you will find what lies ahead amusing...if you've read my stories before you will...if you havent and worry that it's a waste of your time I suggest you click the picture links. What you see will be enough to make you curious enough to read what I wrote or to wretch horribly. Either way I'm satisfied.
So I'm thinking I can take a vacation anywhere I want in the USA and mabye I should visit some of my internet friends! Maybe even strike up a romantic affair...
So I go and contact all the girls and start asking them more about themselves...
-
NuclearBomb: Really I like you so much!
TVD: If you dont mind me asking...how old are you?
NuclearBomb: I'm 14. Ya I'm smart for my age.
-
Ok thats too young...
-
Rain: I've done work on my own car.
TVD: I'm so impressed...its rare to find someone that knowledgable and hardworking...
Rain: My Dad's an auto-mechanic though my dream (through school) is to be an archealogist.
TVD: Good for you. When do you see yourself entering college?
Rain: When I'm done with high school in three years. I'm ahead a year though so it'll be weird to be 17 and in college.
TVD: So your 14?
Rain: Yep. ^_^
-
dang a freaking genius this time...
So I got more desperate...the next girl I barely asked anything about her that I already didnt know off the forum.
-
TVD: Hey could you send me a picture of yourself?
Papercut: Sure XDDDDDDDD WARNING TO READER THIS WILL SCARE YOU! YOU WERE WARNED.
TVD: O_O
Papercut: HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!11111
-
I didnt go on vacation that year. Besides I wanted to save the money anyway.
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
If you remember from my story entitled "The Fangirl" I once had an unnofficial fanclub composed of girls from a forum that inexplicably clung to me for reason's that are still unclear. This included a special banner with the names of those involved which they all put in their signature's.
Well one of those girls, the one in "The Fangirl", who actually was the funniest of them all led me to create that story, however the other girls are equally interesting...I just never got as involved with them as I did with TalisX.
The preceding stories are just short clips that show the single funniest things that occurred while talking to them. Now I will note that I only knew them over the internet and while that probably shouldnt classify that as anything significant I prefer to think of people online as significant if they do something that is based in reality, like say sending me a picture or talking to me on the phone or offering to do such. In any case I hope you will find what lies ahead amusing...if you've read my stories before you will...if you havent and worry that it's a waste of your time I suggest you click the picture links. What you see will be enough to make you curious enough to read what I wrote or to wretch horribly. Either way I'm satisfied.
So I'm thinking I can take a vacation anywhere I want in the USA and mabye I should visit some of my internet friends! Maybe even strike up a romantic affair...
So I go and contact all the girls and start asking them more about themselves...
-
NuclearBomb: Really I like you so much!
TVD: If you dont mind me asking...how old are you?
NuclearBomb: I'm 14. Ya I'm smart for my age.
-
Ok thats too young...
-
Rain: I've done work on my own car.
TVD: I'm so impressed...its rare to find someone that knowledgable and hardworking...
Rain: My Dad's an auto-mechanic though my dream (through school) is to be an archealogist.
TVD: Good for you. When do you see yourself entering college?
Rain: When I'm done with high school in three years. I'm ahead a year though so it'll be weird to be 17 and in college.
TVD: So your 14?
Rain: Yep. ^_^
-
dang a freaking genius this time...
So I got more desperate...the next girl I barely asked anything about her that I already didnt know off the forum.
-
TVD: Hey could you send me a picture of yourself?
Papercut: Sure XDDDDDDDD WARNING TO READER THIS WILL SCARE YOU! YOU WERE WARNED.
TVD: O_O
Papercut: HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!11111
-
I didnt go on vacation that year. Besides I wanted to save the money anyway.
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
14, eh? File under category: Hit it, don't admit it.
Except for that one chick with the picture, yikes.
Except for that one chick with the picture, yikes.
Wow, these are great stories, I mean I know they are true, you said they were but god I feel sorry for you
Heh do you have any more? They were very interesting
And that picture... 0.0 WTF!!
Heh do you have any more? They were very interesting
And that picture... 0.0 WTF!!
Hey, that's what happens when you try to pick up girls you meet online
Hey, that's what happens when you try to pick up girls you meet online
...says the guy who married his online girlfriend.
...says the guy who married his online girlfriend.
Thank you, Ms. Obvious, for pointing out the inside joke. 
I thought she recognized your inside joke and raised you one inside-misinterpretation-of-your-inside-joke, so she used the again. *shrug* 
again. *shrug* Steve just wanted to pick a fight, of course!
Well, not so much a fight as getting an angry response. Tal knows me too well.
Tal knows me too well.
ZOMG DID YOU KNOW I'M A NERDZORS!!1111ONE?
-
So as you may know I worked at Wal-mart for exactly one year leaving the place in Septermeber after starting the last year in September. I went from working as a cart-pusher there to being a cashier at a local grocer story . Quite a change of work and also environment. I did this since the grocery store was half the drive to Wal-mart and thus would save lots of money on gas and about an hours driving time each day.
I did consider the change from working outside doing relatively tiring physical labor to being indoors doing small takss really wasnt a worry. I however would miss being alone while I worked where no one would see me if I screwed up and this left the pressure off. However working with a lot of other people I figured could be interesting if the people werent mean and acted nice. Ultimately things turned out...a little too interesting...
Being unskilled labor and being near the high school meant about 3/4's of the workers were about my age. Also for whatever reason most of the cashiers were women. That means about half the staff I interacted with were potential interests.
Within a few months things became very odd. Around six different women started acting strangely around me. Ya know how its simply polite to say hi and smile the first time you see someone for the day? Well they wouldnt just do it when they first saw me on any one day, but at any given time I see them during that day. I was often being greeted like four times by the same person during the course of the day. Even I realised that they were trying to get me to notice them or perhaps elicit conversation. Before I could think of anything to say though...
They became more blatantly obvious. One girl kept offering to cut my hair since she said she was in training in cosmology...she just said I needed to come to her house. Another girl saw me standing and waiting and told me to hold still while she said "I have to pull a loose thread that fell on your pants" as she literally grabbed my ass and squeezed like she was trying to pop a grapefruit. I tightened my cheeks in surprise and she removed her hand saying "There all done...by the way you have a nice ass." I just stood there not knowing how to feel. At another time two of the women approached from behind me and got into a conversation that I could hear too easily...
-N: "So what do you think of (insert The Vault Dweller's real name here) ?"
-J: "Oh he's definately a looker."
Later that day...
-The Vault Dweller: "Hey Malkavian whats a looker?"
-Malkavian: "Use it in a sentence."
-The Vault Dweller: "Oh he's a looker definately."
-Malkavian: "That means they think the person is hot."
I was astounded. Not that women were hitting on me, but that I actually figured it out. I had no idea what to do though. I was, and still am, too low on money with college to afford to go on dates even if I stopped spending all the money I do on non-necessary things. I also would have lots of trouble finding the time. For better or worse this all became irrelevant one day...
I was talking to one of the female cashiers (the one that offered me a haircut) when a customer was in line that was buying a small monthly science fiction magazine with multiple short stories. I had no idea my store sold them and immediately became excited that I could buy one and very surprised that I didnt know about it myself. Then I realised maybe I should talk to this guy. The customer himself was in his 30's tall, fat, and bearing glasses. I spoke to him for about 5 minutes on various things, but mainly the magazine which he said he'd been reading for years and has consistently been entertained by. When he left I turned to the girl at the cash register who had watched the whole thing...
Her look was a fervent combination of wonder and disgust. It was like I was a totally different person to her once she realised I liked something that was taboo. Well by the end of that week the strange attraction to me seemed gone since none of the women did anything particular to me after that. Gossip travels fast I guess...
-
Perhaps I was just a bit hasty and loud in my joy? Maybe I should have kept quiet about my habits. Well if their that opinionated about it I think I'm better off...
...but still. Going as far as to grab my ass?
Wonders Never Cease,
The Vault Dweller
-
So as you may know I worked at Wal-mart for exactly one year leaving the place in Septermeber after starting the last year in September. I went from working as a cart-pusher there to being a cashier at a local grocer story . Quite a change of work and also environment. I did this since the grocery store was half the drive to Wal-mart and thus would save lots of money on gas and about an hours driving time each day.
I did consider the change from working outside doing relatively tiring physical labor to being indoors doing small takss really wasnt a worry. I however would miss being alone while I worked where no one would see me if I screwed up and this left the pressure off. However working with a lot of other people I figured could be interesting if the people werent mean and acted nice. Ultimately things turned out...a little too interesting...
Being unskilled labor and being near the high school meant about 3/4's of the workers were about my age. Also for whatever reason most of the cashiers were women. That means about half the staff I interacted with were potential interests.
Within a few months things became very odd. Around six different women started acting strangely around me. Ya know how its simply polite to say hi and smile the first time you see someone for the day? Well they wouldnt just do it when they first saw me on any one day, but at any given time I see them during that day. I was often being greeted like four times by the same person during the course of the day. Even I realised that they were trying to get me to notice them or perhaps elicit conversation. Before I could think of anything to say though...
They became more blatantly obvious. One girl kept offering to cut my hair since she said she was in training in cosmology...she just said I needed to come to her house. Another girl saw me standing and waiting and told me to hold still while she said "I have to pull a loose thread that fell on your pants" as she literally grabbed my ass and squeezed like she was trying to pop a grapefruit. I tightened my cheeks in surprise and she removed her hand saying "There all done...by the way you have a nice ass." I just stood there not knowing how to feel. At another time two of the women approached from behind me and got into a conversation that I could hear too easily...
-N: "So what do you think of (insert The Vault Dweller's real name here) ?"
-J: "Oh he's definately a looker."
Later that day...
-The Vault Dweller: "Hey Malkavian whats a looker?"
-Malkavian: "Use it in a sentence."
-The Vault Dweller: "Oh he's a looker definately."
-Malkavian: "That means they think the person is hot."
I was astounded. Not that women were hitting on me, but that I actually figured it out. I had no idea what to do though. I was, and still am, too low on money with college to afford to go on dates even if I stopped spending all the money I do on non-necessary things. I also would have lots of trouble finding the time. For better or worse this all became irrelevant one day...
I was talking to one of the female cashiers (the one that offered me a haircut) when a customer was in line that was buying a small monthly science fiction magazine with multiple short stories. I had no idea my store sold them and immediately became excited that I could buy one and very surprised that I didnt know about it myself. Then I realised maybe I should talk to this guy. The customer himself was in his 30's tall, fat, and bearing glasses. I spoke to him for about 5 minutes on various things, but mainly the magazine which he said he'd been reading for years and has consistently been entertained by. When he left I turned to the girl at the cash register who had watched the whole thing...
Her look was a fervent combination of wonder and disgust. It was like I was a totally different person to her once she realised I liked something that was taboo. Well by the end of that week the strange attraction to me seemed gone since none of the women did anything particular to me after that. Gossip travels fast I guess...
-
Perhaps I was just a bit hasty and loud in my joy? Maybe I should have kept quiet about my habits. Well if their that opinionated about it I think I'm better off...
...but still. Going as far as to grab my ass?
Wonders Never Cease,
The Vault Dweller
Eh, you probably just waited too long to make a move. I'm sure if you had reciprocated on one of them... it wouldn't have mattered whether you liked that stuff (and if they did have that much of a problem with it after getting to know you, then your assumption of them not being worth your time would be right). Women can be a might skiddish about things they don't understand (well, really, people in general are that way).
I recipricate every ass grab as in accordance with my religon . You grab my ass...I grab yours...You touch my chest...I touch yours and so on and so forth
. You grab my ass...I grab yours...You touch my chest...I touch yours and so on and so forth
That is not true, I'm a nerd and I use alot of emoticons 
see? And people like me...
see? And people like me...
Ha! You forgot the emoticon!
And let's see if this works... ::male:: ::female::
EDIT : Curses, it doesn't work. I wonder how redink1 posted the male and female icons in the 'The Operation' thread, though. Maybe you need to be a staff member?
emoticon! And let's see if this works... ::male:: ::female::
EDIT : Curses, it doesn't work. I wonder how redink1 posted the male and female icons in the 'The Operation' thread, though. Maybe you need to be a staff member?
The male and female icons were a special case... I modified the internal representation of the message to include the image tags very shortly after I posted it.
Depends on what type of nerd, I'm like a computer nerd, but I have a very good social life and hang out alot and go to many parties.
redink manipulates the system on his own whims. Fight the system brother...Fight the system... Nerd power (<insert Volkan hand sign here
My, my, my... I don't think even I could beat some of those stories! I'm sorry to admit that I laughed at your misery though! How's the love life now? I do hope you've made some improvements... Surely that string of bad luck can't last forever...
Surely that string of bad luck can't last forever... I'm back and better than ever!
That's right it's been way too long since my last story. That has to due with the fact that all my past stories were things I accumulated over time where this new one like the last few had only just occurred. I assure you that this story however is of much higher quality. It involves older women and not ones my age. Also I'm excited to post this not only for all the people who have been here since I've arrived, but also all the new members many of whom have made themselves as much a part of this forum as myself.
-
Years ago before I got employed at your local grocery store I was sending resumes to ads in the newspaper for jobs. Months went by and almost none of them returned a call to place interest or they turned out to be some sort of moneymaking scam. Right before I decided I should just get a job that I know I'll get regardless of pay or any benefits (grocer) I surprisingly recieved a phone call. It was from a woman who said I was the first to respond to her newspaper ad for "clerical work" when I had called the number in the ad and left a message. This got me very excited not only since it would be my first job, but also I figured that one of the many "clerical" job ads would be best for me since I often role-play a cleric in D&D. She said that some details needed to be worked out and that I should meet her in person at a local restaurant.
As odd as I felt about meeting someone at a restaurant for a job I realised it could do no harm so I showed up. I was very surprised to find the woman wanting to meet was a very beautiful middle-aged woman clad in professional business attire. We spoke for quite a while. It turned out she worked for CBS for the old and very well-recieved show "60 Minutes" which runs weekly and showcases various human interest stories. She said she worked as the Graphic Arts Director or something like that determing what sort of sets should accompany which stories. She had a problem though. With her having to commute to NY daily while also taking care of three kids with her husband working as the owner of a glass installation business she had no free time. Over the years with her and her husband working and both bringing in lots of cash they decided to start investing. They bought lots of stock in lots of areas and made even more money. So much that they would often spend any significant free time taking trips to anywhere they wanted. With all her time being used to either work hard or play hard the house became kind of a mess...especially with matters pertaining to paperwork. She would fill out whatever forms and send out whatever papers needed to and then to avoid wasting time she would throw all of the reciepts, notices, etc. in a box. When a box would fill she would put it in an empty room in the house. This went on for years and now she has a whole room that can't be used due to being filled with boxes. What she needed me for was to work as a sorter of sorts by filing away all the papers I find in a methodical manner. She hoped eventually that the room could be empty and used again as well also that all the clutter she felt was a stain on her work ethic.
She made me nervous. She kept looking at me half-apprehensively and half-happily. I understand the apprehension as anyone would meeting someone they don't know. When I asked her why she picked me though she said "You were the first to call...and when I heard your voice I had to get you here.".
When I got to her home I was impressed. It was large and beautifully decorated. Then I went downstairs. There were two rooms. One room was mostly empty except for some old furniture and a desk and the other was the "forgotten" room. In there 90% of the floor space had boxes and most boxes were stacked almost up to the ceiling.
I got to work. It wasn't very stimulating work, but it was very easy and the environment was great. Most days I was by myself with the husband at work and the kids attending some activity. She would stay upstairs the entire time doing some PC work. I often had a CD player I found in the room playing with various CD's I had also found in the room. I went through countless kinds of paperwork from bills, to reciepts, bank statements, and birthday cards.
I worked for each weekend for multiple months. As time went on she took more and more visits downstairs starting to offer me meals and just wanting to talk. Then one weekend she stopped returning my calls for work. I can safely assume I wasn't doing something she wanted other than the filing since I had only rid the room of half the clutter.
-
That was years ago though...this one is more recent.
-
In my last semester at university there was a woman who was in two of my classes. She was middle-aged and divorced living just a few blocks away from the university in a large apartment. She worked at a local ranch giving riding lessons and taking care of the horses. In spite of her age she appeared to be in excellent shape. I could hardly see any fat and her whole body was tone muscle. In casual conversations I expressed admiration at her work with animals. Big mistake.
So over the weeks she keeps getting uncomfortably close to me in conversation eventually learning by accident (I don't know how you refuse to answer a question) that I know how and do cook for myself, clean my own home, and don't have any significant other.
I was already apprehensive about her eventually offering me "riding lessons" which with all my experience has taught me would probably not mean riding a horse. Then one day after one of the classes when everyone had left the room except me and her...
-Karen: "So maybe I wouldn't be so lonely if someone would accompany me on my way home. Maybe even spend the night."
-Me: "..."
-Karen: "(winks)"
-Me: "(looks away)"
Then I did it. What I had always meant to do. What I had been born to do...
I walked away. Turned to the side walked briskly out the door and ran for it. Didn't even look back.
To this day she says greets me when I walk by. Thankfully nothing more.
-
Let's hope the next woman doesn't try to kill me for turning her down.
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
That's right it's been way too long since my last story. That has to due with the fact that all my past stories were things I accumulated over time where this new one like the last few had only just occurred. I assure you that this story however is of much higher quality. It involves older women and not ones my age. Also I'm excited to post this not only for all the people who have been here since I've arrived, but also all the new members many of whom have made themselves as much a part of this forum as myself.
-
Years ago before I got employed at your local grocery store I was sending resumes to ads in the newspaper for jobs. Months went by and almost none of them returned a call to place interest or they turned out to be some sort of moneymaking scam. Right before I decided I should just get a job that I know I'll get regardless of pay or any benefits (grocer) I surprisingly recieved a phone call. It was from a woman who said I was the first to respond to her newspaper ad for "clerical work" when I had called the number in the ad and left a message. This got me very excited not only since it would be my first job, but also I figured that one of the many "clerical" job ads would be best for me since I often role-play a cleric in D&D. She said that some details needed to be worked out and that I should meet her in person at a local restaurant.
As odd as I felt about meeting someone at a restaurant for a job I realised it could do no harm so I showed up. I was very surprised to find the woman wanting to meet was a very beautiful middle-aged woman clad in professional business attire. We spoke for quite a while. It turned out she worked for CBS for the old and very well-recieved show "60 Minutes" which runs weekly and showcases various human interest stories. She said she worked as the Graphic Arts Director or something like that determing what sort of sets should accompany which stories. She had a problem though. With her having to commute to NY daily while also taking care of three kids with her husband working as the owner of a glass installation business she had no free time. Over the years with her and her husband working and both bringing in lots of cash they decided to start investing. They bought lots of stock in lots of areas and made even more money. So much that they would often spend any significant free time taking trips to anywhere they wanted. With all her time being used to either work hard or play hard the house became kind of a mess...especially with matters pertaining to paperwork. She would fill out whatever forms and send out whatever papers needed to and then to avoid wasting time she would throw all of the reciepts, notices, etc. in a box. When a box would fill she would put it in an empty room in the house. This went on for years and now she has a whole room that can't be used due to being filled with boxes. What she needed me for was to work as a sorter of sorts by filing away all the papers I find in a methodical manner. She hoped eventually that the room could be empty and used again as well also that all the clutter she felt was a stain on her work ethic.
She made me nervous. She kept looking at me half-apprehensively and half-happily. I understand the apprehension as anyone would meeting someone they don't know. When I asked her why she picked me though she said "You were the first to call...and when I heard your voice I had to get you here.".
When I got to her home I was impressed. It was large and beautifully decorated. Then I went downstairs. There were two rooms. One room was mostly empty except for some old furniture and a desk and the other was the "forgotten" room. In there 90% of the floor space had boxes and most boxes were stacked almost up to the ceiling.
I got to work. It wasn't very stimulating work, but it was very easy and the environment was great. Most days I was by myself with the husband at work and the kids attending some activity. She would stay upstairs the entire time doing some PC work. I often had a CD player I found in the room playing with various CD's I had also found in the room. I went through countless kinds of paperwork from bills, to reciepts, bank statements, and birthday cards.
I worked for each weekend for multiple months. As time went on she took more and more visits downstairs starting to offer me meals and just wanting to talk. Then one weekend she stopped returning my calls for work. I can safely assume I wasn't doing something she wanted other than the filing since I had only rid the room of half the clutter.
-
That was years ago though...this one is more recent.
-
In my last semester at university there was a woman who was in two of my classes. She was middle-aged and divorced living just a few blocks away from the university in a large apartment. She worked at a local ranch giving riding lessons and taking care of the horses. In spite of her age she appeared to be in excellent shape. I could hardly see any fat and her whole body was tone muscle. In casual conversations I expressed admiration at her work with animals. Big mistake.
So over the weeks she keeps getting uncomfortably close to me in conversation eventually learning by accident (I don't know how you refuse to answer a question) that I know how and do cook for myself, clean my own home, and don't have any significant other.
I was already apprehensive about her eventually offering me "riding lessons" which with all my experience has taught me would probably not mean riding a horse. Then one day after one of the classes when everyone had left the room except me and her...
-Karen: "So maybe I wouldn't be so lonely if someone would accompany me on my way home. Maybe even spend the night."
-Me: "..."
-Karen: "(winks)"
-Me: "(looks away)"
Then I did it. What I had always meant to do. What I had been born to do...
I walked away. Turned to the side walked briskly out the door and ran for it. Didn't even look back.
To this day she says greets me when I walk by. Thankfully nothing more.
-
Let's hope the next woman doesn't try to kill me for turning her down.
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
Unsure of the first story in that post.
But the second... LOL INDEED.
First you're missing out by accident, and in this one you actually run. That doesn't quite match the picture of a person who posted all the previous relationship-stories in this thread.
But the second... LOL INDEED.
First you're missing out by accident, and in this one you actually run. That doesn't quite match the picture of a person who posted all the previous relationship-stories in this thread.
