The Dink Network

i think im gonna break up with my girlfriend.... by email! hahaha. weve been "together" for like 9 months and broken up like 8 times but this time im for real im tired of her shoot and if she isnt going to treat me like her boyfriend im not going to act like it anymore

By email? That is SO immature!

Your solution is part of the problem I take it?

its not a solution its a conclusion im serious about this

I kept a copy of the e-mail

"Hello Josh, guess what? I'm dumping you... You were not to my tastes anyway, and your music is awful! It should be about unicorns and flowers and butterflies and panties and Tal. Your so sad, and I wanted to date Fabio... goodbye Josh. I'm breaking up with you for good."

That is way creepy! What sort of girlfriend do you have? No wonder you want to break up with her.

What?! It's the chick who gets bothered by that kinda stuff just aslong as u can get her in the sack who cares! And if she gives you lip just smack her across the face show her who's boss.

And here, rp64 exhibits the sterling wit and exceptional sensitivity which has resulted in his exclusive, long-term relationship with Rosie Palm and her five sisters...

rp64 is the leader of a Utah polygamy cult... thus his knids and worldy ethics.

you know what honestly it would be so easy to just stay with her and ignore all the fudgeed up shoot how she treats me but if thats what i wanted why would i be in a relationship in the first place? theres more to life than that. sex without purity is the hook without the bait. i need devotion and affection and attention and loyalty. any takers? come on im desperate... sabre? tal? wait no ewww not tal i take that back.

rp64 will gladly share a bed with you...

True Zeppelin, but seriously MORE TO RELATIONSHIP THAN SEX?! Do you need some fresh air, clear your head, lay off the acid? Dude sex is EVERYTHING take what yu can get, raise a family and throw out the woman when she gets old! And beat your kids with a belt when they whine about anything.

Dude sex is EVERYTHING

Are you a virgin, or just an idiot?

And sorry josh, I'm taken. But if my girlfriend ever starts talking about Unicorns and Fluffy Bunnies, I'll be sure to give you a call.

No, Rp64, you keep the woman to look after the children, they may be tiresome after, say, a day or two (she can also answer their calls when they move away). All you need is a job that offers logical reasoning for why you need to spend every evening at work.

Anyway, cheers to Josh. Getting out of a 'bad' relationship is something not to procrastinate on

shaking hands with shorty does not constitute as sex im sorry you view this as "everything" one day you will realize there is more to life like love and well the sex that goes with it of course just sadly by the time most people who think the same thing as you who are into the whole pathetic "bar and party" scene get to that point they only have half a brain no liver and an infestation of STDs

Email is not a good, nor serious, way to break up with someone. Even talking on the phone is on the edge. Go to her personally, so she knows and it isn't a joke or anything.

You're a coward for EMAILING her about breaking up. Be fudgeing personal.

i emailed her cause she wasnt home and i called her first too dont be an assnanny you dont even know the first thing about our relationship anyway wtf im going to start calling you leotardo what kind of a name is that davince? is that your real name cause that would be pretty unfortunate and the mona lisa sucks

Hm, real immature there.

Sure, I know nothing of your relation, but try thinking of how she could feel. "He emailed? If he really cared about it he'd go straight to me and talk about it!" Or things worse. In any case, it isn't nice to not do things like these personally.

You're right Josh, there's more to a happy relationship than just
sex.

If he's gonna break up with her and they've had these problems numerous times before... why should he care? It is joshriot we're talking about, after all

Because he is an emo, and will cry his head off during the middle of the night when he realizes that the other side of the bed is cold.

dude i called her first and she wasnt home its not like im going to sit there and try to explain everything which the email was like 10 paragraphs i dont think she wanted to sit and listen to all of that while she was at her friends house which is why i emailed it its not like i just did it to be a dick or something what is with these little "appropriate" codes of conduct its 2006 email is a major form of communication far superior to handwriting and envelopes dude stop being a little priss its not about social status anymore its about being yourself get in with the new and out with the old tophat wearin tea sipping cane totin sneezeguzzle this is the computer age not shakespeare we dont live in a sonnet and talk in "proper" english and use these silly things called etiquette go tuck in your shirt or something and keep your condescending holier than thou because i follow traditional procedure rather than thinking for myself attitude to yourself man wear some jeans and tennis shoes every now and then this isnt a wedding or a funeral its modern life not the 1400s

I like it when a cute girl gives me a handwritten note. It means something. When she gives me a text message/e-mail, not so much.

P.S. Your period key seems to be broken, I shall give you some to copy & paste:
......................
......................
......................
......................
......................

uhmmmmmmm

Does no one remember the internet oracle?

*ZOT*

I've heard of the usenet oracle (i.e. seen references to it on certain sites), but don't know what it is/was.

It's still a very large part of it, though, at least for me. It really looks like her idea of the relationship isn't very close to yours. You're probably better off. An email is way better than a cell phone txt msg: "we r brok up now k"

Prithee on thy finier points of relationship. Is it a miracle to-day that a message cannot exist, but cannot be read. Methinks that gesticular expressionism shall also be a form of communication, and yet thou canst read it. Can it be? Hark, this is the e-mail which you, my noble sir, do talk about. Like the wave of a hand, or the tear of an eye, these too are a call to a long fare-thee-well.

get back in your coffin fudgein george washington or whatever

You do not guess at my intent, so that I must tell you... George Washington is, and will always be, a VAMPIRE!! I will charismatically partake of your sangre and then dispose of your dispirited carcass... hence, thereafter, I will extend my grasp to inundate the media with intelligence of my revival. I will then have a lifes supply of paparazzi necks in which to sink in my wooden fangs... Blehhhh!!

i think email sounds appropriate for the 'relationship' that you describe in the first post. If you've only been together 9 months and broken up numerous times already, then it aint much of a relationship. And when it comes down to it, breaking up is breaking up... dont think it really matters how it's done, whether it be email, letter, phone, or in person. If its over its over.

There's two reasons people breakup. Reason one is because one or both people in the relationship have acknowledged that the relationship is poop and it's best if its ended. Reason two is because one of the people in the relationship wants to send a wake-up call to the other person and they dont truly want to breakup, but really just want to talk things out because they don't know anyother way to communicate about a serious relationship issue(s)... more like a straighten up or it's over routine. From what I've gathered its reason number one. So run dude run.... and just click send on that email

i think you are forgetting the point that geoge washington was a plantation worker tobacco smoking she dog with buckle shoes and a triangle hat chump who would never make it in the underworld world he would get his ass kicked in like two seconds theres no way that porker would survive two seconds as a vampire they would laugh at him and tell him to go back to the little house on the prairie

I broke up with a guy once with a letter....i don't think that was the best thing to do...kinda cowardly.
So have you done it yet?
BTW: E-mail is so impersonal..after 9 months together you should be able to do it in person...

Washington was a tough guy, actually...(as tough as one could in the days when everyone wear powdered wigs)... You must be talking about someone else... or maybe you do not realize how ridiculious people were in those days. Anyway, the underworld didn't want him... so they made Washington a vampire... that way he is cursed to walk this Earth for all eternity.

ok why is everyone repeating the same thing when i keep repeating myself that i CALLED HER FIRST the email was just to say how i feel because it was like 10 paragraphs long

ya know... you should really have called her first before sending the email... ya big meanie

OOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFFFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG someone pass me the friggin syrup

sorry couldn't help myself... but syrup?!? wow sounds kinky unfortunately I dont swing that way

But I do...

Washington hates syrup... it is not good for his wooden dentures.