The Dink Network

I'm not sure if anyone's actually bothered doing one of these yet, I havent checked. However you know the drill, I'll start by writing one paragraph, then in replies (reply to the latest post please so people dont get confused) you write a further paragraph. Let your imagination take the story onwards, it can be as serious or bazzare as you wish. Peace.

(PS. Not actually sure if these are allowed but I'll go on for now)
---

Sunday Morning. I'd woke up once again to the thumping sound of our neighbour's music, repetetive beats pounding through their latest Hi-Fi system. Pulling the pillow over my head wouldn't help, and I could only wonder why the need to play music so loud was so great. I'd barely been getting any sleep as of late, thus affecting my work results, but I wouldn't dare go to the Walma's house and politely ask them to turn it down. Who knows what savage they could unleash upon me.

I arose and made my way into the lavatory. Without looking and a modest shuffling of my designer leather drawers with the velvet insert heart shapes, I proceeded to drain the pipes.

Crikey, I thought. I'm going to have to clean this floor again. I looked with distaste at the purple blood I had missed last night. The alien sheila in the tub would keep till tonight but not much longer.

I didn't quite know what to do with her. She was cute, far cute compared to the pitiful feminin creatures here on earth. The only thing I could do was embalm her until I could find a suitable site for the ritual. I could no longer stand her cold corpse. Making love to her was so difficult at times. After the ritual everything would be perfect. I just needed a little time...

I could hear Dan shouting in time with the song, every ear-splitting syllable sending a jolt of pain through my temples. Normally, I liked the non-stop musical tempest since it kept the cops away; in fact, that's why I moved there. Now, though, I could have done without the ground throbbing beats and atonal almost-singing. Covering my ears, I opened the cabinet under the sink and grabbed Skittles. I bought Skittles at a Target four years ago, (50% off, the only mop sale I've ever seen) and quickly stained her every color of the rainbow.

Bloody hell. She's melting. Gawd what a mess. I reached down to remove the stopper and coated my hand in the goo. I quickly jerked the stopper out and removed my hand, slinging more goo everywhere.
Umm. It smelled like...It felt like... It tasted like...Jello. I awoke with my laughter ringing in my ears. The bloody dang radio alarm was going off. Time to get to work.

The car journey was not long, but luckily I'd finally escaped the fearful lair of the neighbours. Within 10 minutes I was at the crammed office I'd been working at for the past four years. Four years and still no promotion. I wasn't even sure who I was working for, they never let us see the bosses face, nor would they tell us anything about him. Everything was on a need-to-know basis, and by the looks of it that was how it was staying for the time being.

In fact, I wasn't even sure WHAT I was selling. Or was I buying? Within the bureaucratic paperchain I had become ensnared, nothing could be certain.

All I did was sign document after document. I sometimes used the phone, but little did my co-workers know I had unplugged it weeks before, making up conversations in my head.

This was how I amused myself throughout the day.

As the day wore on, the noise and commotion of the office slowly faded. First the interns left, then the secretaries, then the janitors started vacuuming and everyone else went. I stuffed some writing utensils in my pockets, stood up, and stretched my arms to restore the circulation. I was walking out when I saw one of the older janitors mopping something up near the vending machines. An association flickered in my mind, but I couldn't put my finger on exactly why this image seemed so familiar. It hit me as I walked out the door: it was the mop from my dream.

These disgusting humans! They show no respect for anyone or anything. Especially a simple inanimate object like me, a mop. I am here solely to clean up the nasty debris people scatter out behind them like a cat in his poop box.
I particularly dislike the fool going out the door. He kicked me out of his way one day. Well I refuse to take it anymore. I snickered to myself. This male human thought his dream was just that, a strange distorted nightmare.

I pulled the door shut and slipped the key into the ignition. Before turning it, I took a moment to settle into the seat and enjoy the peculiar sensation of security one has after when first alone in one's car. The engine made a strange cranking noise when I turned it on. Oh shoot. I dove out the door, and scrambled away, crouching. I knew that sound: Dad had been a diplomat, and he'd died in a car-bombing. The Honda exploded behind me, knocking me flat. When I looked up, I saw something I never wanted to see again...

I took a breath as i stood up and look in despare it was a figure i'd seen only once before and it scared even the bravest part of me, but i could do nothing but stare. A part of me wanted to run but i couldn't i froze and just stood there the wind whistle through what was left of the bushes and made me realise that there wasn't any ware to go, i was stranded and made no atempt to move. I stared across to the smoking remains of my Honda and thought i didn't like that car any way.

An explosion was heard behind me and I quickly turned to see Dan's monster truck thundering through into the car park. I was in trouble now, I thought. A naked figure of Tal stood to my right, and a fiery Dan in a monster truck to my left. Dan opened the doors of his mechanical beauty and stepped out slowly, holding what could only be a banana. Within seconds of squeezing it banana mush was flying through the air at extreme velocity towards the nude pornstar tal, covering him entirely and sending him flying. Dan walked over to me, I held my balls to prepare for another beating, but he held his hand out to me, as to propose a friendship.

As shocking as it was, I declined the offer. I had dreamed of his whippings since I was a little boy. The way the leather felt against my flesh. I had always been fond of bondage and my chance was slipping through my very own fingers. What could I do to change his mind? Just then I noticed a penny lying on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up my pants fell down. I knew I should have worn a belt. But what happend next can only be described as...

disgusting. ROFLMBO. GAWD!
I'm not going your direction. Ok here goes:

I shouldn't have eaten that big bowl of beans a few hours earlier. The sound reverberated from the hills and suddenly the pavement started cracking. I quickly grabbed my pants up and stood. Dan had fainted. Now was my chance...

I grabbed naked Tal and slung him over
my shoulder and attempted to make my get
away....however, I had forgotten about
the mushy banana guts all over the ground.
I slipped and fell backwards, luckily Tal
cushioned the fall.

Tal got up, then walked toward me like a hungry zombie. I fell backwards into the pulpy fruit and slided toward a green car. The female driver, stareing at Tal, didn't see me as I snuck beside the car, and then pulled her out of the front seat and started up the car. Dan woke up and crawled into his monster truck and chased me around the parking lot. I eventually found a way out of the lot. It was a furious chase, then, suddenly, up ahed was two oil tankers on both lanes. Dan was catching up, about to crush me when I saw an obstical similar to a jump. Did I have an option? I drove over it, my car started spinning in the air, if I landed like this I would be done for. I dived out the car window and landed in a dumpster, CLANG! After recovering I peeped my head out for a look, Dan found the ruins of my car. He assumed I was dead. In the dumpster, I found an old mediveal bomb, like the ones Dink used, I climbed out of the dumpster. Dan suddenly turned around and saw me, bomb in hand, I....

I realised that i had been holding the bomb to long and...

I turned it off so it wouldn't explode so it wouldn't be the end of the story because it's a never ending story

My eyes started to flicker, and soon enough I blacked out, exhausted after all of the excitement and adventure (rofl) that I'd just been through. I wasn't sure how long I'd slept for, but I woke up to a really beautiful, unbelivably stunning...

...DiVinci painting of a dog playing poker along with his friends around a table, on had a cigar. I chuckled to my self and looked around, there was Tal smoking a cigarette in the corner of the room naked with his legs crossed.
"What are you looking at?" He said harshly.
"What happened?" I said slowly.
"Well you tell me Julie..."
Suddenly I looked at my shirt and I had a waitress uniform on with a name tag "JULIE" stunned I examined the name tag more and found that it said on the back "if found plz return to Pimp Daddy Dan" with a picture of Dan in a pink suit and a purple hat with a feather in it. I took the nearby nearby spork and threatened Tal to tell me what happened and he said...

Tal arose slowly in all his beautiful, unbelievably stunning nakedness. OMG, He is a SHE! And would you look at the size of those .... guns.
"Pimp Daddy Dan?" she scoffed. "He's nothing and knows nothing unless I tell him to know it. So, Julie, put your spork away before striker comes in here to show you why he's called that. It could get a little chaotic for you. And of course, there's always sabre to convince you."
Then Tallis without the phallus crooked her finger and....

explained that we had been genetically altered in order to infiltrate Vortex's castle more easily.Everyone knew that Vortex had a weakness for the dames.So Tal and I, dressed as cheap call girls, made our way towards the front gates of the castle.Just before we got there I turned to Tal and said....

'Does this mini skirt make my butt look big?'

Tal turned to me and without a studder said,
"I like big butts."
I laughed and said,
"and you cannot lie and you other brothers can't deny?"
he looked at me like I was crazy and I chuckled and said,
"Never mind so what is on the agenda once we enter the devilshly handsome man's castle?"
He pulled a formidably large banana out of his underwear and that was all he needed to do I knew the plan, I knew that once we got in there and met with our insider informant that we would...

Collect the castle map from the double-crossing
slimebag and make our way towards the main room of the castle.Unfortunately we met up with some resistance from Vortex's evil henchmen.

Tal took quite a blow and I had to use our last healing potion to revive him.Just as Tal was regaining his strength,we looked up to see....

("Tal took quite a "blow"" hehe)

A giant Sabre with wings of a bat flying down towards us, we were helpless as he crashed into us. Tal and I stood a looked as Sabre lay unconcious on the stone floor.
"Kinda anti-climatic huh tal?"
Sabre stood as if a trance was broken and said.
"Vortex was using his charm to keep me in his will and I could do nothing but his bidding, I was sent to kill you but that knock on the head saved me"
Tal shook his head and said.
"the only way we can be sure is to initiate you into our clan"
The first embarasing, painful, exiting hazeing activity would be...

EDIT: Aww... Vortex beat me to it. This story starts after Carrie's.

Chaotic flying his apache above us. He dropped huge Banana Bombs, SPLAT! SPLAT! We were covered with pulpy banana. We slipped and slided our way into the castle gates, the gaurds fell backwards and slid all the way to a lower cellar. Chaotic flew to the side of the castle, aiming his machine guns at the wall, we ducked in the nick of time. The gaurds got filled with bullet holes. Then, suddenly, Chaotic's gun jammed, this was our chance! We ran up the staircase. Chaotic lost our position, uh oh, it seemed we stumbled upon the dragon chamber, luckily Tal had that huge banana, he tossed it at the dragon, who devoured it whole and choked on it. We killed Vortex's dragon, he's going to be mad... Vortex came into the room. That power, he waved his hand and we both suddenly flew into the wall. "Ah, so you thought you could destroy my castle" he said, Tal wispered in my ear "psst! We can sneak down the chimney", sounded like a great plan, actually, it was the ONLY plan. Suddenly, a missle crashed through the wall, must be Chaotic again... we both dived down the chimney, Tal got a glimpse of what happened, he saw Vortex picking up the missle and throwing it at Chaotic, BOOOOM! We fell down the chimney, only to find we were heading to the armory, we stopped, loaded up on guns & equipment. Then rushed to the main hall blasting away. When we got there, we realized that half of the top floor was gone, SimonK's bulldozer crashed through the ceiling. Chaotic's forces, circling the area with F-15's, were ready to fire. Then MiloBones smashed into the ground in his drop pod. He got out, and his drop pod emitted a EMP, which destroyed all of Chaotic's F-15 computer systems. Then I looked beside me, Tal had malfunctioned, was it the real Tal? With an automatic rifle at one side, and an SMG in the other, I aimed my gun around, looking for Vortex, then several of his minions dropped down from an airplane, all aiming their guns at us, Vortex climbed over a hill of debris, he was holding an axe which seemed to have little bolts of lightning jolt off it. He held it up, then yelled what I thought was a strange magic, suddenly a huge pulse threw SimonK's bulldozer miles away (SimonK jumped out) and blew MiloBone's equipment sky high. Along with the rest of the castle. Then SimonK said something into a portable radio, I couldn't make out what it was... then, out of nowhere came about 35 tanks. All aiming at us in a circle. I turned around, SimonK wasn't in sight. Vortex looked at me angrily, I...

allright this has gone on long enough

and has they heard a large bang they looked up only to find that a 10 killa tone nuke had been droped on there location and everyone looked up and said "ive seen bigber mate" and then...

(why did i add that last line?)

The nuke was speeding toward the ground fast, suddenly, a dark figure tossed a pop can sized object into the path of the nuke, which caused a small, but extremely powerful explosion. Nobody was harmed, but it created a huge hole in the ground. The dark figure was standing at the edge of the hole, everyone was knocked down from the blast, exept for the dark figure. Then, suddenly he raised his hands and said "ACK!". He fell forward into the pit, to reveal Chaotic who was standing behind it with a large knife. Everyone got up, exept the dark figure... then everyone heard a "YEEEEHAAAAA!!" Then Carrie drove a jeep into the pit, and crashed it into Vortex, who used his staff to blast me into the side of the pit. Chaotic jumped at me with the knife, then MiloBones tackled him. I shot Chaotic several times, but something was wrong, his blood wasn't red... it was blue. MiloBones slapped a button on his pocket, then a jetpack appeared on his back, he flew away. The tanks were given an order to fire at will, all I heard was an explosion, and then I saw nothing but white light... then, a strange multi-colored beam zapped through me, it was painful. Then my eyes healed and I looked around, what the... how did I end up in the...

Mental hospital?!? My arms and legs were tied to the bed but luckily, I still had some Banana with me, I crammed the pulpy fruit into the lock using my mouth. All the mushy Banana pulp unlocked the bed. I got up, the room I was in was probably locked, then, suddenly, I heard someone coming toward my room, I went beside the door, I couldn't see who it was. He came in... I dived at him, pushing him toward the door. He took quite the bang on the head. The light from the window shined in our direction and I could see who it was. It was cloudnaerus!! What was he doing here?!? Oh well, he had a stick, I grabbed it, and rushed down the hallway. One of the doctors heard me, looked around the corner and WHACK! Then a gaurd jumped out an open door at the other end of the hall. I slowed down, he was aiming a gun at me. Then suddenly I heard a loud BANG! It echoed down the hallway... This was the end, I knew it was, the gaurd fell over, and in ten seconds, lying in a pool of blood. I looked behind me, there was cloudnaeris, he was still aiming his gun at me, then I heard a loud ROAR! ... rather like a car engine... but it seemed like I heard it before somewhere... Dan's monster truck crashed through the wall, and blocked cloudnaeris's bullets. But one of them hit the gas tank, BOOM! I went flying down the hall. Hey! An exit! I ran outside. Several cop cars and a helicopter surrounded me, DON'T MOVE, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! Then... a trail of smoke went speeding toward the police helicopter, POW! Direct hit! WC's helicopter flew from behind the hills. Lowering a rope... how kind of him, I imagined him to be rather grumpy at times. I grabbed the rope, then realised the helicopter was moving, wheeeee! On the way there...

...we met some opposition from Joshriot...

Yes, Joshriot, evil punk from the land
of Screech, was riding on a purple dragon
while slashing at me with a massive
machete.I climbed up the rope quickly and
got inside the helicopter.WC looked at me
and said.....

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON MY PLANE"
and pushed me out. As I fell I landed on the purple dragon, knocking joshriot off, machete and all. I flew the dragon high into the air following WC and his brite pink helicopter only to find my self chaseing the best pilot of all time. WC curved and looped until I thought I lost him. Luckily his copter ran outta fuel and landed not far from me. I came down slowly and landed the purple beast but low and behold I saw...

he had a 12guage automatic shotgun pointed at my head and then wc fired...

But with lightning reactions I moved out of the way, and he instead killed nearby DarkNight, the ruiner of all stories. Running miles I found a nearby phone booth and phoned the only number I could remember. The sex line. The operator asked what I was wearing, but didn't quite understand that I really was stranded on an island in the middle of who knows where, and instead of getting help she insisted that I remove my clothes and play with my...

...toes.I wasn't sure how this would help me find my way off this island but I went along with it.
It was right when I got to 'this little piggy'
that I was suddenly hit with a brilliant idea.
All I had to do was...

...get back on the dragon.

but wc had shot the dragon so i had to...

jump in the f/a 18 super hornet that had been left there some how found its way to me. i jumped in and hit the throttle flying low levle at mac3 isnt nice on the balls i flew round found wc and fired 2 side winders at him then piced up DarkNight and took him to a hospital and helped him get revenge on...

Wc who had evaded the shots I fired at him.
Unfortunately DarkNight had actually died and
having contracted the zombism virus was only
brought back to life for 2 hours.
DarkNight decided to spend his final hours
getting drunk, so I was left to go after Wc
on my own.I got back in the hornet and...

took a piss in the urine bag and then i...

went home to rest but then my flat mate said "hey were out of...

troble for now"
But as I uttered those words a sharp light caught my eye. I looked out the window and saw a SWAT team had surrounded my house. A heavily armored policeman said into a bull horn.
"We have you surrounded (like I didn't already know) and if you don't come out with your hands up we will have to blow you away with this overly powered unneccary large house destroying cannon"
He was right, there was a canon pointed at my door that looked like it could in fact destroy my house; I decided it was best to just surrender so I open the door and stared down the barrel of the canon. The policemen said
"Thank you for your cooperation we will now take you in for questioning."
But as he said that WC, with one arm left and half his face missing revealing a terminator type red eye and robotic face, shot the man operating the house destroying canon and jumped in the drivers seat I then began to hear the canon power up and a light began to travel up the barrel. I saw my life flash before me and the I heard...

a fuse burn out in the house destroying cannon and it powered down then i had the chance to...

Run like a scared little girl away from this scary scene. I triped over something in my frantic sprint. I looked down and I couldnt believe my bloodshot eyes. A minature Carrie2004 in a Leprachaun type attire. I picked up the small carrie by the back of her neck and asked her why she was soo small, but before she could answer I heard the canon power back up so I shoved her in my pocket and took off again. As I ran I heard her say, "...

"Well blimey, is that a gun or are you
just happy I'm in your pocket?"

I realized that I had a banana still stuck in my pants. I pulled the banana out and bit off the top and threw it behind us as I ran. The banana bomb exploded taking out the canon and WC's other arm. The armless WC kept on running after us and Carrie said,
"You know your kinda hot for a imagined character on a gaming website."
Since I am not a lephrachaunsexual I pulled Carrie out of my pocket and threw her at wc taking out his other eye. She climbed inside WC's robotic body and took control of him.
"You denied my love now you shall die"
WC assimilated a nearby dumpster and grew new arms and rapaired his body. She then let loose a....

Barriage of Banana bombs at the dumpster, she grabbed an RC car that JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEARBY. In three seconds the dumpster was 50 feet in the air... along with one fifth of WC. As I ran, I noticed someone driving some sort of spaceship outside the window. And I thought that for once I could have a NORMAL DAY. I jumped onto the ship and it started going upwards. Carrie and her RC car went to the end of the hall, and crashed into a binder on the floor, it sent her flying. Then, a hatch on the roof of the ship opened up, and a strange creature climbed out, the ship started to slow down. The strange humanoid creature put on some sort of mask before I could get a good look at its face. In 10 seconds, it magically took the form of...

DarkNight!! as DarkNight climbed out of the spaceship he said "why is there a carrie2004 on my wind screen" at that moment i started to wonder why i used the last of my banana bombs on that dumpster then darknight jumped back in the ship and closed the hatched and powered up the main connon of the ships weapons and fired at...

the Banana farm! In half a second, I thought "OMG! I GOTTA STOP HIM!". Too late, all that was left of it was a smoking crater. NOOOOOOOO!! Then another spaceship flew out of the clouds in front of us, this one looked completely different. DarkNight laughed and said to himself "Haha, this ship is toast.", I got a closer look, inside that ship was... CHAOTIC! Blue blood, alien spaceship, something tells me Chaotic isn't human... then about 20 other ships rose from the clouds and aimed at us. And to make things even worse, a HUGE ship flew out of the clouds and directly at us. Millions of strange alien ship-mounted cannons aimed at us. This is it. I jumped off the ship hoping I would land somewhere soft. CLANG! Darnit! Why do I keep landing in these stupid dumpsters?!? DarkNights ship was in pieces. Then the ships flew over to the central Banana farm and abducted all the bananas in the world. Then flew into hyperspace. NOOOOO! WE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT BANANAS!! The only way to save the human race from a year without Bananas, was to hijack a NASA spacecraft! Then I heard a loud CLANG. Man, these dumpsters are like big human-catching metal containers. Then, I saw a group of people walking out of the shadows, it was SabreTrout and his gangsters, they were all holding bats, and Sabre had a gun. Then they asked "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE LOST BANANAS?". They were well known to steal Bananas around the globe. Then I reached into my pocket and... WTH? How did Carrie end up in there? Carrie in hand, I...

asked carrie about how her day was and then set her down. Her excessive talking put sabretrout's gang to sleep . Sabretrout was trained to combat such needless talking and he stood and stared me straight in the eyes. I looked up and the sky was black with spaceships, I looked across the street and Sabre was pointing his gun at me I had no where to go and I couldnt think of doing anything except...

kicking Carrie at him, she grabbed his gun and flew off with it. Chaotic flew above us, looked straight up, and just when he was about to engage his hyperthrusters and fry us, Carrie aimed the gun at Sabre, but since she was so small, she missed and just hit Chaotic's hyperthruster central blaster unit, which caused the hyperthruster to explode, which created a 20 foot warp hole leading to who knows where? It sucked everyone in the alley into it, along with a few dumpsters and some bags of trash. Me, Sabre, Carrie, and Chaotic were transported a helluva long way across the universe. It opened up on a grassy field and we all fell out. Strange, where is everyone?... and where the hell am I? A strange light was coming closer, OMG! ITS GONNA FIND ME! I jumped into the bushes, and then realised I was still wearing that strate jacket, which had the sleeves broken. They couldn't find me, whew. I started walking. Then, a large spacecraft flew above me, several small dinosaur looking species jumped out, and aimed their rather large plasma cannons at me. One said something in a different language into his radio, and then one of them equipped a long stick with small jolts of an electrical looking type of energy coming out of it. Zap! I couldn't move a muscle, not even one on the face, Then I fell unconsious. After that I woke up in a prison cell, I looked out my window. What in the name of... there were HUNDREDS of crates full of Bananas. What did these aliens want with Bananas? An alien walked into the prison, my heart was beating fast. He came in with a rather large plasma gun. I just happened to have a knife on my person, I can find anything in my pocket! I threw it at him, it hit his leg and he yelled something I couldn't understand, then shot at me really unaccuratly, then at that exact moment, a purple explosion happened and I found myself back at the alley again, Sabre and Carrie weren't there, I had to get to NASA's facilitys. There was a car at the end of the alley, the warphole sucked in everything else. It was unlocked, like someone wanted me to use it... I shook the feeling, hotwired it, and drove off. I turned on the radio and eventually, I reached the highway, then, ROAR! What the fudge? A HUGE semi-truck was behind me, closing in. No wonder nobody was driving on this one. I went full speed, darn, this car can only do 120! Then, I saw a sign ahed saying "Highway out". For once, I would LOVE a normal day. Then, I ran something over, BUMP! I flew out of the car and hit the windshield of the semi. I looked in... what the fudge is AlliKitten doing here? I looked behind me, my car tumbled over and started rolling. I climbed on top of the semi, AlliKitten climbed out of the drivers seat and went onto the roof of the semi. She had a knife, I had nothing... unless... I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a... BANANA... what the... I thought the aliens took all the bananas. I threw it at AK, it exploded, must be a rotten banana. Then, there was a bridge ahed. The truck was WAY too big to fit through. The truck crashed through the bridge, I jumped, WOAH! HOW THE HECK DID I JUMP THIS HIGH?!? After going under the bridge, the semi lost its roof, along with Alli. I landed in the truck and climbed into the drivers seat. After a while, I got to NASA's HQ. I grabbed a shotgun out from under the seat, then I went to the front door. Ch'ck ch'ck! Someone came out, I aimed my gun at him and...

...turned it and shot myself in the head.

--THE END--

Arrrgghh, I'm going to have to watch this 24/7 to make sure you two don't try to end it!

But then, shortly after suiciding, some glowing spirit-looking-thinga-magiggy told me that it wasn't time to die, he said that it was up to me to retrieve the Bananas and bring them back to earth so all will be peaceful again, then I saw a bright flash and I appeared next to the door again with the shotgun. The guy came out again, oooo time travel! Then I...

...turned it and aimed it at myself. "no changing fate", I thought. "no one really cares about me and it's time for me to go... those fellows don't even know what the hell's happened above the last post!" of course, I didn't know what the hell I was talking about either. Kinda makes sense, considering that I had pulled the trigger and my brains were all over the concrete! my last thought was: "if someone resurrects me again, I'll..."

...but my thoughts were interrupred by an angel called clarence who is trying to earn his wings and I realised that the last post was just a fantasy. The tries to tell me how much worse the world would have been without me, but accidently says, "how much better it would have been without me", so without further hesitation or fantasising, I shoot my self in the brain, but...

redink1 gathers a sample of my dna and clones me.
He then uploads all my memories and tells me
my mission is not yet complete.I must rescue
the stolen bananas from the alien thieves.
Just then,Tal shows up and says...

B**** wheres my money hoe..."
I gave him all my money and asked him how he got across the galaxy and without studering he pulled a chalk board from who knows where that had diagrams of how we had gone so far in the universe that we ended 20 miles away from earth on a asteroid that had always been there and that the only reason we had never seen it is because of darknight's ego was eclispeing the 300 mile wide asteroid. After I was baffled by that he said,
"Now we must get in there and get all the weapons we can if we are to be able to take those aleins and their leader chaotic out. So I graped a plasma blaster with several grenades and looked much like Neo on the Matrix and Tal striped out his clothes also looked like Neo...a naked Neo...

Little leprechaun Carrie then popped up out of nowhere and started taking pictures.
*click click click*

On the radio, they were talking about a murder outside the NASA HQ and that they were getting a new security guy named merlin, in other news, there was a group who invaded the HQ and stole a prototype rocket engine, their leader went by the name of SirCabbage. He owns his own island! We had to hijack a boat, but first... we needed some more firepower, its time to give SimonK a...

call but when they got there simeon k just grabed a shotgun and in an aussie red neck tone shot them and said get off my property and then a bush fire burnt thier bodys and there was NOTHING left so
==THE END==

(jeez people) Luckily though this had become a holy mission and so the great programmer in the sky made a backup disk that had my personality and memories on it and then loaded it in a android. Now we were cookin with Crisco, I had a robot body:Lotsa strength laser eyes and gun barrels pokeing out from weird places. I grabbed the shotgun Simon K was holding and held it to his head,
"Give me the weapons punk,"I said
"please don't hurt me," Simon K said as he peed his pants.
I felt generous and spared him for now and Simon quickly showed me to his baby... A HOUSE DESTROYING CANNON...wait I had already seen one of these...thats when I realized it had been Simon K in the connonoriginally until WC had pushed him out and destroyed my house...grrr...now I am mad so I hop in the cannon and start driving it down the street. As I began to come upon the aleins and their many spaceship....

simeon k

You're not the first one..

as I come upon the aliens in their spaceship...
my windshield is suddenly splattered with
banana goop.I am SHOCKED and HORRIFIED that
these aliens are wasting our treasured bananas
in such a way.I power up my lasers and...

GUYS! The aliens left to their homeworld, with the bananas, we had to hijack a NASA spacecraft.

SO:

And fired, then I found out that it was just a cloud of purple alien exaust, I drove to the local shipyard with an auto shotty. Then I went up to the portmaster. "Gimme the fastest boat ya got!" I said, "Eh, thats gonna cost yeh.". I pointed the shotgun at him, "Okay! Okay!" he said, I took the boat called "Airship". Wheeeee! This is fast! Eventually I met up with SirCabbage's goons. I pulled a rocket launcher from under the seat and...

it back fired and blew me apart and in to the water so none of my parts worked ==THE END== you've got to stop ending the reply like that

But then a magical spirit-thingey went back in time 10 seconds ago and grabbed my rocket launcher and turned it around so when it backfired, it would hit the enemy. Then it fired the right way and blew up DarkNight's boat. So I aimed the rocket the RIGHT way at SirCabbage's minions and...

the shot for darknights bot missed turned around and kill me again cause darknight died along time ago in the story

A spiritual force (sorry guys, no more ideas) granted me the attributes of a video game character. Whenever I die, I lose a life, whenever I get hurt, I lose HP. Then I searched my pockets AGAIN and pulled out a mystic scroll, I rubbed the dust off it, it was a scroll of genocide! These things are rare! ...hmm... Do I genocide everything by the name of DarkNight to prevent him from ending the story? Or do I eliminate the alien race from existence so I can get the bananas back easier? I only have one of these, its a hard choice, I decided to...

genocide myself and so there was no more of me and no magic was powerful enough to bring me back so there was only 1 thing to say==THE END==

it was a good try but you ended it like that again so once again it was easy

Then I heard the Mario death music: da da da dadada DAH! Then I found myself on the boat with one less life. So I...

Uhh, redink? We need a little more swear protection over here please!

i will leave the story alone and it can go on for as long as it wants and it was pethetic to end it and fight with a person over the internet so i will just take the advice that was given to me and stop reading it

excessive flaming always does the trick.

If you don't like the Never Ending Story thread, don't go adding useless story parts and ==THE END== bits. Wait till someone has written a nice part and you can continue - if a community doesn't like a thread, it either dies on its own or it gets flamed to hell, your choice (or option three, an admin locks it )

Yeah.Darknight sucks.It was kinda cute the first
couple times he tried to end the story but now
it's just annoying.If he doesn't like it he
doesn't have to read it.
***
So,let's see,I'm in the boat,I'm a video game
character and I still haven't gotten the
bananas back yet.I notice a small vial on the
floor and I pick it up and it looks tasty so
I drink it.Mmm.Tastes like licorice.
Then I start to feel a little odd...

"oh no did I just drink the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory mysterious floating soda pop...ahhh"
I began to float into the air and I noticed a Large building I thought must be the aleien HQ I began to try to blow myself in the general direction but failed to do so, instead I floated into a strange forest and landed in a tree after the soda pop woar off. Then suddenly I heard a rustleing in the leaves and out of the bushesd steped a gigantic woman.
"ME, Valoveer, me queen of amazonian tribe of this planet. Me no like you...you smell of man, VALOVEER CRUSH"
Suddenly the gigantic women swung her equally large club straight at my head, luckily though...

It was quite soft, so it just bounced off. Taking advantage of this brief moment of confusion, I decided to...

run like the wind.Of course,I wasn't familiar
with this forest and I soon stumbled into
a patch of quicksand.As I started sinking,
all I could think was...

"How many licks does it take to get to the center..."
After I realized I was wasteing time I tried to struggle but soon found myself sinking faster and faster. Soon I was completely consumed but just when I thought all was lost the sand trap emptied of sand and I saw that this quicksand was no quicksand at all it the mouth of a Zamaranina Giant Man Eating Worm. After going through a digestive system that I would really like to forget I found myself in a giant pile of fecese burnt alil and naked. I struggled to get free and began to run some more and ran into a...

A Pie... A Giant Pie... It seemed either I was either srunk or in some weird messed up giant pie world... It turned out I had actully ran into a giant pie sign, I was in a supermarket filled with only bannana's and Pie's...

I decided to sit down and eat for a while to
regain my strength.While I ate I decided that
I would need to find some 'ultimate' weapon
if I was going to rescue the bananas from the
alien thieves.It was then that I noticed a
tiny little shop not far from me.It appeared to
be a weapoon and armory shop.What luck.
I walked over and as I entered the shop...

(Yeah DarkNight please leave them alone, your posts are not only boring, but they are completely unhumorous and wreck the fun of the game.)

the shop keep says, "I can not sell you anything until you have brought back my great anvil so I may make weapons ,dink."
I looke at him and say
"Did you just call me dink??"
He quickly replies,"erhm no I mean uhh sure I'll sell you something"
Just then a red dot appeared on the shop keeps forehead and !BANG! his head was in several peices around me, I look around and see the sniper jump out of the rafters and scurry out of the room as I gave chase. I turned a corner and was barrel to forehead with the sniper, the sniper chuckled and said,"...

"BROKEN ARROW, BROKEN ARROW! REQUESTING AN AIR STRIKE ON MY POSITION". This can't be good, there were several jets flying around above. I dived into a trashcan, then I heard a loud BANG and this trashcan wouldn't stay still! I looked out and... I think I can see my house from up here! Then I fell and landed with a CLANG. After climbing out of the dumpster, I found one of the bombs which failed to explode, I think I'll go have some fun with it at the...

I decided it was time to make a vist to the snipers home... Although you may think this would be hard, it tured out that he is a responable sniper, he left his bussiness card in the bin...

Craptasitic Sniping and Bombing Angency
Phone/Homephone 99604373
Bussiness Adress 11 Sap Lane
Home Adress 67 Doglane Road

This is going to be fun...

So as I arrived on sap lane, I found, much to my surprise, that the sniper lived in a candy house.I couldn't resist licking the front door which tasted just like peppermint.Mmmm.I then opened the sticky door and went inside.
I was completely shocked at what I saw next!!

After tal and the sniper were once again fully dressed I pondered as to why he lived in a candy house. Thinking about candy made me hungry, as I picked up a candycane tal said, "I wouldnt lick the candycane... don't ask", not wanting to know I put it down and told the sniper to immediatly tell me why he killed the shop owner to my surprise he said."...

"He didn't give me a fudging refund"...

"And that warrented KILLING him!!" I say in horror. "To put it short yes."... "What did you want a refund on?" I ask shaking my head "Ask Tal"...

Then Tal said "That article was closed a long time ago!"... I said "What did the sniper buy at the shop?", he said "Condoms, but he didn't get the really big ones, so when he returned it, the shopkeeper didn't give him a refund.". After being grossed out enough, I decided to walk silently out the door... after running away from the candy house, I found an abandoned bike, then I rid home. Ahh quiet... sweet... darn, the cops blew it up with an unnessesarily large house-destroying cannon. Then I saw a little robot thingey, then bunches of them! The little buggers fixed the whole house!... and one of them stole my power drill... I went inside, then went to the washroom to wash. Then the lights went out and a glowy figure appeared behind me, I tried to feel it, but my hands went through it! Then it spoke in a deep voice: "You must get back the bananas from the aliens, you are our only hope.". Then he disapeared and the lights went back on. I walked out of the washroom and then looked out the window. Then I said "HOLY SH**!" out loud after I saw...

a u.f.o piloted by none other than chrispy himself.He was motioning for me to join him on a magical mystery tour.How could I refuse chrispy when he was looking at me with those big, sad eyes.So I jumped in the craft and that's when chrispy and I started fighting about....

who would get the bananas when we steal them back, then we both realised that while we were fighting, nobody was piloting the UFO. We crashed into SirCabbage's island. Then a mysterious swordsman came out of the shadow of a tree. He looked at me, then raised his hood and I saw his face, it was Simeon! Then I saw a huge shotgun fall out of the UFO's hold. I grabbed it and pointed it at... where did Simeon go? Oh well, me and Chrispy walked over to SirCabbage's house and jumped into an open window. Then I found him, CH'CK CH'CK! I aimed my shotgun directly above his head and then... I forgot to load it... I ran past him and swiped his 9MM. I ran to the basement shooting everything in my way. I found the rocket engine, shoved it in my backpack, and ran. Then Tal walked into the door, naked as usual. "Hello? I've got a package for a mister SirCabbage here." he said. I took my 9MM and shot Tal. This is VERY strange, Tal now looks like a... a.... a........

a.... a..... a........

bald monkey!I shot the hair right off his head.Needless to say, Tal was not happy about it and started jumping around, babbling some nonsense about 'poor aim'.Chrispy and I knew we shouldn't laugh but we just couldn't stop ourselves.While we rolled around on the floor holding our sides, a shadowy figure entered the
house.

It was Sir Cabbage! "What are you doing on my Island? since when do i have an island (Shrugs) Eh who cares, im sorry but i dont like armed people purtruding on my property.. I mean sure you can shoot Tal but then can you leave, if you want you can leave using my computer, it has a very cool system of virtual reality, yeah well anyway ill be going now... Dont eat cabbage!" Sir Cabbage says before leaving... "What was that?" I say shooting Tal again, "Ouch! Well i think (Bang)" Tal says before mysteriously getting shot again, "Who cares VR! Lets Go!" I say before myself and chrispy enter VR Room, with simone following in the shadows...

Yeah its stupid but going into VR would be cool

We start up the VR system and pick a destination,"Hmm..." I said, "I wonder what is better... Begining of earth or first man on the moon..." Well I thought long and hard and finally chose Begining of earth since the moon landing was fake anyway. After three hours witnessing how the earth was created we exited all exclaming, "So that is how the earth started, who'd of thought the organisms came first and then they got tired of floating around and built them selves planets... wow" just then though we heard a weird noise back in the VR room, we scurried into the room only to find...

Ducks Hundreds of ducks it turns out we could not escape from the VR in Sir Cabbages Island, Sir Cabbage then says in a loud voice... "Yeah um, exit is at the end of the Rpg Adventure world it comes out backk on the city so yeah the noise was tal here getting into the world... and then to the duck room..." So with that I start to go into the RPG world, unfortunatly with a naked tal behind...

I was getting tired of Tal always being the one who gets to run around naked so I tore off all my clothes and then let out a laugh of victory.*Muahahaha* Suddenly a duck ran up and started peeing on my leg.

(carrie obviously has issues with clotheing) Tal said,"Don't fret, that is not pee it is magical Kool aid." Feeling thirsty I began to drink, but then I realized that," No this is pee and tal is a dirty liar"

I glared at Tal who was, by now, laughing hysterically.But then I remembered this was all virtual reality.A twisted world created by the madman Sir cabbage.I decided to envision myself a suit of armor and a huge axe.Grabbing the axe in both hands I started to walk towards what appeared to be a door.

"I AM NOT A TWISTED MADMAN! I JUST WANTED YOU OFF MY ISLAND!" A loud voice rings across the land. "Err sorry i err didnt mean it like that" I say before Chopping tal up into small peices with my ax. "Why do you want us off your island?" I contiue. "Frankly you seem all insane at the moment, so I wanted you to cool down and have some fun, OH AND TO GET OF MY ISLAND" Sir Cabbage says from outside. Looking around at my party i realize he was right, I thought maybe it was a time to cool down and relax... And with that I teleported myself to nice valley, with trees, grass, Knives, Guns, Spears, Tal and Duck clones, pizza and a hampster... Yeah i had no idea why i did this, but hey!

And of course, the infamous "Chaotic" virus infected SirCabbage's VR system. Then I said "HOLY CRAP! WHATS WITH THE LAG?!?". Then I...

began to look around and saw everything was changeing. Hampsters turned into pillbugs, rabbits began to form giant boncas, and tress turned into...well...trees, but they looked burnable but then a dragon flew across the sky and I knew I was stuck in the Virtual Dink world... with Tal. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN (Has anyone else noticed Tal has stayed the longest in this story?) There was a castle in the distance and sir cabbage had been sucked into the room also as a slime...how sad..so I began to...

(Well, Tal is strange, so is the story, they both relate.)

Load my double uzis. I aimed them at all the monsters. Just when I was about to fire, Dinkers started popping out of the ground, all of them were here, exept for...

EDIT: I KNEW someone would pick Tal...

Tal,who had been chopped into tiny pieces by Sir Cabbage.I wiped a tear from my eye and took aim at the largest dragon of all.*Die Scumbag!!* I screamed and started shooting wildly at the sky.

only to have my giant uzis turned into clawswords and herb boots. And as the great poet of yore said,"when kife gives lemons make lemon marange pie" so I ran at the hoard of monsters like something off of braveheart."They can take our lives but heaven help them if they take our bananas!!" just then a little man in a pointy cap appeared and sat on my shoulder as a ran."I am chaotic the fanciful fairy of this world." "shouldnt you be a wizard," I said. "No, why?"he looked at me. "oh nothing" I continued to run and noticed the monsters were begining to multiply and I asked the little fairy to give me some magic and he said,"...

"Fine". Chaotic the fairy (grrr) handed me a magical bomb, I threw it forward and then it opened a vortex that was shaped like Vortex! Then, as it was sucking the objects around it and transporting them to distant lands, it talked to me, it said: "...

Dang I am one hot vortex yes I am woohoo."

I realized this vortex was just a lot of hot air.
Fortunately I remembered right then that I knew a little magic and I chanted the words 'vortexis closis'.It worked.The vortex was closed and I was once again safe to resume my journey.
And that was when the radioactive monkey bit me.

(Carrie called me hot) It was the evil monkey that lives in my closet and the vindictive old monkey's radioactive bite gave me the unusual power of ultimate...

erec... er... greenish glow! I walked around scaring everything because they thought I was radioactive! Then I noticed that now I was able to...

morph into...

a really big...

tasty...

hot...

and sticky...

cinnamon bun.Which made me a little nervous.
I noticed that Sabretrout had just shown up and was looking at me with a devilishly hungry look.
I tried to run but I had no feet.All I could do was roll.Faster and faster.I thought for sure I was going to escape but then suddenly I ran into...

oddly placed vat of icing... Now I am a cinnamin bun soaked in icing with a hungry englishmen chaseing me, in short I was screwed. Sabretrout pulled me out of the icing and began to lick me...all over...in places I didnt even know existed...and then I began to...

laugh hysterically. 'Stop,stop,that tickles' I cried.Sabretrout was so startled that he dropped me and I quickly morphed into a ...

a giant...
(sorry couldnt help myself)
ape after which I grabbed sabre by his toungue and began to swing him around my head like a lasso. Feeling empowered I looped sabre around a tree branch anfd began to swing from tree to tree with out a care in the world until...

the lawyers for George of the Jungle came and slapped me with a lawsuit for copyright infingement.*ow* So I went back to stomping through the forest and then I slipped and fell.Looking down I saw that I had slipped on a banana peel once again.*dang* This happens to me way to often I thought.But then I realized that the alien thieves who had stolen earth's bananas must be nearby.
It occurred to me at this time that all this trouble began back when Tal and I had infiltrated the castle of Evil Vortex.In fact,while we were distracted by Vortex's evil henchmen,the bananas had been stolen.The aliens must be in cahoots with Vortex!!
*It's amazing what stepping on a banana can reveal*
Suddenly redink1 showed up in a big army tank and said...

"Did anyone lose this big army tank??...No one? Well then what am I going to do with this big tank...hmm.."
I said,"Sorry to interupt but do you think I could borrow that large army tank for a little while."
"NO" he said with vigor, "I love this tank it has been with me through all the hard times and I cant just let you 'borrow' my favorite tank like that"
"But you just said somebody lost it and you didnt know what to do with it!?!?" I said angrily
"Oh, you were listening then, oh well you caught me here you can borrow it, but can I tag along?? I got nothing to do until my ten o clock "appointment" with Tal..."
"Sure, you can drive if you..." but suddenly my words were cut off as a large noise was made to my left I turned to see...

That half of the place exploded, then I found myself lying on the floor of the VR room in front of a broken Virtual Reality machine. "Dang that Chaotic virus" I said, then took SirCabbage's plane and flew off, forgetting that I...

didn't know how to fly a plane.I managed to figure out how to turn on the auto-pilot but I realized that landing was going to be a problem.Just then I got a distress message on the radio from Chrispy.Apparently he was in deep trouble with...

Ducks giant sized ducks. He somehow ended up on a weird place called duck island... Answering his distress call I flew the plane (Somehow It dawned on me how to fly a plane?) To duck Island...

QUACK!

Once arriving at Duck Island, I had to jump out with the parachute, as there was no runway in sight. I had a pillowcase, a sword, and 24000 inflight meals. (What they stock on planes these days ) I had to think of an idea, and fast...

First I got out my sword and started hacking the pillowcase to peices then I...

tied all the pieces together and made a rope.
With the rope I lassoed a giant duck and was able to ride it.I set out to search the island for Chrispy.I only hoped I wasn't too late.I couldn't help but think of the bananas that the aliens had stolen.But the bananas would have to wait.
My thoughts were interupted by the sound of...

a carrot...

(Bananas have to wait?!? ARE YOU INSANE?!?)

Not just any carrot either.A giant,mutated, walking carrot.And it was coming right towards me.I was shaking in my boots.Then the carrot opened his mouth and...

It started singing.

I clasped my hands to block the banshi like singing of the carrot. But it fell of the giant duck and was eaten by the carrot...

Luckily carrots don't have teeth and can't chew.I spent several minutes using my knife to hack my way out of the carrots insides.Once I was free,I went back to searching for Chrispy.As I walked barefoot through the hot sand, I suddenly stubbed my toe on....

a carrot...

And then I fell forward and landed on...

a large X.I wondered if something important might be buried beneath this X.I began to dig with my hands while thinking of treasures and suddenly I found a chest.I opened it up and inside was....

a carrot...

...A green carrot...

It was somewhat overripe, but it didn't keep me from eating it.

Next I noticed something next to the chest, it was a note. On the note was written:

"Don't Eat The Carrot!"

With this I started to huck up the carrot, but I was too late and the posien seeped into my veins, I died, but was later (10 Years Later) Raised from the dead as a high ranking leader of the undead, With this new power I created....

my evil army of zombies. I decided to go to DaVince's city and scare the living sh** out of the townsfolk. Slowly moaning, my evil undead army walked toward the city. Then, they saw carrots in the ground. After ten years of being 5 feet underground, they got a 'little' hungry. Then came some sort of...

Black Carrot Eaters. The zombies then eated all Black Carrots and EVERY zombie was transformed to little happy...

HIPPIES! Then came Dink in a cheap Dmod and he started slaughtering them.

BUT... The DMOD were too small for all the hippies so they escaped and marched toward DaVince's city and killed everyone and destroyed everything... but the effects of the black carrots still changed them. All hippies was transformed to man-eating...

Dust. And so their reign was over. But something happened to the dust...

The dust was full of Mind Shuffling poison! The dust moved to a big city called New York and infected it. Everyone in the city were controlled by...

a carrot...

Chaotic said-'Slowly moaning' haha...ok maybe it is just me anyway...

The carrots, yes it seems it all became clear, the aleins redink and his big truck, the large house destroying canoon WC and his black hawk, everything that had been messing up my life lately was being orchestrated by these carrot, and they had to pay, for all the pain, for all the suffering, for all the death, but mostly they to pay for all the BANANAS!!...
With this I began to put on war paint and stripped down to my loin-clothe and began to fasion carrot weapons out of logs and near by rope, they would pay, they would pay dearly...

But then I got a bit tired and had a cigarette, then... a carrot jumped at me and the instant it touched the cigarette... BOOOOM! Weird... cigarettes detonate evil carrots, this is new to me. The carrots were advancing, I had to run, but where? Then I found a crashed alien ship in the ground, so I...

Ran to the Alien Ship and got in. I closed the door and locked it before the carrots could get in. I looked for the control room and once there, I tried to start the ship. It took a while to figure out how to start it but I finally got it and I was heading for outer space. The ship was on auto pilot and was heading to Carrotopolis, the carrot shaped planet. The ship started doing barrel rolls and then crashed landed on the planet. Then there was banging on the hull of the ship...

The banging continued for several minutes. Suddenly... the banging stopped. I opened the door to look outside. The carrots were running away from something. I looked in the ship for some type of gun, just in case I encountered something, and I found one. I ran outside of the ship. I looked all around and saw nothing. I walked to Carrot City and looked around there. *WACK* Something hit me from behind. *BANG* Something shot me from the front. Then right in front of my eyes, some weird creatures appeared. Apperently they were invisable...

Scared as heck, I ran for the ship. After I got inside, I ran into a small room at the back of the ship. Then I heard some buzzing, I tried to move my arm but I couldn't. I was paralized! Then the machine/room/robot lifted me into the air. It put some sort of spacesuit on me. Then it let go, I ran forward, woah shoot! I ran 2 times as fast! I ran outside and saw my shoulder cannon powering up. Then...

A carrot appeared and...

Quiztis has an obsession with carrots (Read his last 4 posts) and as a result of this..

The invisable robots I encountered pulled my shoulder cannon away from me and became its shoulder cannon. It had to recharge. My right arm was paralyzed so I picked up the gun i found earlier with my left arm and shot at the cannon. The cannon blew up and so did the planet Carrotopolis. The blast shot me and the robots into space, then...

Did anyone else laugh when dinkkiller said "Then right in front of my eyes, some weird creatures appeared. Apperently they were invisable..." I for one think it should be quoted. Or maybe I should just be ignored as usual.

I fled in a spaceship to the planet Carrotopia.
When I landed i were sourrounded by carrots. I thought they were tasty. (MUNCH, MUNCH) they tasted good but then, the big, evil mutated carrot appeared again from nowhere and he said:
"No one shall eat my carrots!"
The mutated carrot took me in his right hand. I struggled, but he was to strong. He throwed me in a underground prison and locked the door. I noticed that it was a labyrinth here and...

as I began to make my way through this dark maze of terror,I suddenly tripped...again.I looked down and saw a banana peel.Hmm.Interesting.I got up and took a few more steps and tripped on another banana peel.By now I was getting a little mad and I grabbed the banana peel and ...

*I saw it too Vortex and was also amused at 'seeing the invisible robots'.

But the banana peel exploded!! KABOOOOOM!!
And was transformed to...a carrot.

Ok, i havent looked at this tread in a while, so i decided to check the last post... Thats it i'm out a here.

I was getting mighty sick of these stupid carrots, so I pulled my matter transformer from my pocket and set it to 'eliminate'. Immediately, all the carrots, potential carrots, and objects even thinking about maybe perhaps one day becoming carrots, winked out of existence. Pleased with my work, I...

Cut off Amoebalord's head. With a chainsaw. Because he smelled like carrots.

Then... suddenly, every single rabbit in existence came, and surrounded me, with very angry looks. Then...

I ran away.Cuz I am a chicken.As I was fleeing from the angry,carrot-less rabbits,I kept looking back to see how far behind me they were.Because of this I didn't see Chrispy and ran right into him.We both tumbled to the ground and ended up rolling right over a cliff.

Where i fell into a time vortex, sent back to before the time carrots where erased and I see a freaking huge carrot faced monster comming towards me

It was the big, evil, mutated walking carrot again. Oh no! The time portal was so strong that I was teleported back to the reply carrie2004 wrote at: May 26th, 07:07 PM!!

...But since I knew what was happening now, I avoided the Vortex. But unfortunately I ran into a...

a carrot...

Not just any carrot either.A sexy,hot carrot.I couldn't help myself.I fell in love with the carrot and we got married and had little carrot babies and then one day dink smallwood showed up and morphed all the carrots into bunnies.

Yes bunnies, that still smelled carrots. So our children began to naw on themselves and each other. "Curse you dink smallwood" So I proceded to walk outside shaking my fists angrily and then tripped over a...

...cliff. I plummeted towards the bottom, where my mangled but conscious body was soonafter found by...

a Bannana...

and a carrot..

Luckily the banana and the carrot were friendly creatures and they used a super-duper healing potion on me and soon I was all better.Yay.It was at this point I remembered I had a mission to complete.I could only hope the bananas hadn't rotted while I had been sidetracked.I borrowed the banana's phone and called redink1 for help.He sent Chaotic to the rescue,he soon showed up in a submarine and said...

Hey I tryed to find my tank but, um I lost it... But I still found this cool sub!

It's a chicken fajita sub from subway! I don't know how you'll get home, though...

Then some sort of pumpkin with feet came over and grabbed the sub. "Mine!" it said, then walked off. This was one of the stranger things I've seen today. Soon some dolphins came to shore and offered us a ride to the mystic island of the spammers. Ten minutes later we were on the island and... WHAT THE FUDGE IS THAT SOUND! People all over the island were yelling complete gibberish. I pulled a silver hammer from my bottomless pocket. Then I...

started smashing spammers left and right.It felt SO good! Soon all the spammers were dead and to celebrate I decided to hunt down the sub-stealing pumpkin and make me a pie.Which I did.But since I don't like pumpkin pie, I decided I would trade it to Chaotic for a .......

carrot...

a bomb...

and a "evil-carrot" killing Light Sword...

Which i promptly fused togother to create some sort of doomsday device (a bomb with a carrot selotaped to it), lit the fuse, and threw it in the rough direction of a herd of...

llamas!

Which were herteld into the sky, eclipsing the sun for 20 days and twenty nights. when the sun came back out, there was a government national health warning about L.F.L.'s (low flying lamas). Miraculaously I survived the blast because...

(ahh yes, dump the plot holes on other people...)

(Nice triple post there)

PPS: In reply to posting an entire new thread, because I can't post there. That kind of defeats the object of "Never Ending Story". The thread Never Ends, hence the name!

Carry on pals!

Hey. I know that. But they were supposed to be 2 entirely different stories.

I walked around the new llama decimated land, Llamas falling everywhere like but asteroids, I seeked refuge in a small tunnel system in the planet which i mircoulyly found for no apparent reason

This is nearly 200 posts!

In the cave was an underground city. It was populated by talking, vicious, scary, and red...

TOMATOES! Finally some other vegetable! And they were friendly and started dancing.

lol!

(Not what I was thinking but thats fine. Carrie on) lol

Well that's exactly the point of community stories! No one knows what is going to happen...
It's fun, too.

* Carry
And thankyou for administrating his post mister moderator

Back to the story.

The dancing tomatoes stopped dancing and instead, they...

Drew their fudgind Massive Swords and started...

stabing each other

I noticed some of the tomatoes wanted to stab ME too, so I grabbed my lightsword and...

Ate it. Yes, You heard, I ate it.

Now the tomatoes saw this and thought they should give it a try, after that...

The sword cut throught their throats and stomach and killed them. But what I ate which I thought was a Light Sword was a cross made of two carrots. Then...

Then I decied to hit myself on the head billions of times for ne real reason

And the chunks of cheese nearby tried that, and after a while I thought I could make a giant pizza out of this mess, so I...

found a gigantic oven and made the crust first. Then I made sauce. Then i put carrots, tomatoes, cheese, and I found bacon and put those on. Then it cooked then I ate the gigantic pizza. All the tomatoes that saw me eat it were mad at me and they...

started a revolution.Food everywhere gathered together to battle.*down with the humans* they shouted.I got the feeling I should get out of there...and fast.I looked around and saw a bicycle lying on the ground.I jumped on it and started peddling away.I then noticed there were bombs in the basket on the front of the bike.YAY!
I lit one and tossed it behind me.

but the bomb blew up the road and all the food fell into the sewers, and were eaten by the crocodiles, but one garlic survived, and slowly, silent, he was walking towards me without my knowledge... he laid his hands around my neck and begun to strangle me...

But we rid past a field, a dead field, one that was eaten by LOCUSTS! All around there were swarms of locusts, the garlic was history, I

Then ate the locusts MMMmmmMMMM Tasty some people saw me and decided to invite me onto a gromet cooking show. 'Cooking with Tal' I accepted, and soon I was on the set making a special on dog soup pattay

However I got food poisning and died.

But it was not the end since, for once I respawned in hevan...

God and the Golden Budda told me "It isn't your time to die." So they revived me, unfortunately into a grave. I was buried underground. I dug through and reached the surface. I said, "HOLY S**T!! I"M A SKELETON." Then I noticed I was near an old guy. I threatened him with words and he said, "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me." He walked away. I got a thick and long stick, a large stone, and a vine to tie it together. Then I showed that old guy my nature made hammer, then he said, "STICKS AND STONES! I'M OUTTA HERE." He ran away, but after that was not like what it should have been...
(Part was taken from "Back to the Grave Demo" by Striker. DUH!)
("Golden Budda" by Carrie2004)

I caught up to him, Hit him with the sticks and stones, killing him, I them pealed the flesh from his bare bones, and put them on myself, I look like an old man now...

I was all set, I was ready with my dusguise, I walked through the grass anticipating my first move, When suddenly a cow fell from the sky rendering me unconciouse for six minuites. When I woke up...

I found a tunnel, I walked towards the light and I was suddenly in heaven which got me to think that I was dead.

The end

This is a never ending story. It can't end.

Once again, God and the Golden Budda told me "It isn't your time to die." So they revived me, and this time I was revived into my own home. I think i was transported back 2 months. I think I was back at April 14th, 05:23 PM at the first post except as a different person. I think on my way down from heaven I reached a time portal on the way and got transported. Then when I got to the alien ship at May 29th, 08:17 PM, I got in to the ship but I didn't start it. I let them bang on the ship. Then...

(Go back to the post of May 29th, 08:17 PM to review the story.)

Got crushed by a psychotic lamb which had fallen from a stealth bomber and died. Just before this happend I commited a mortal sin (havent decided which one yet, but one of them) so god got realy pissed off with me and banished me to hell for eternity.

({~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~})
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
({-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-})
({00000<.'^'.><.'^'.><.'^'.>00000})
({~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~})
({[+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][})
({===============================})
({-------------------------------})
({\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\})
({=====THE END=====})
({/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/})
({-------------------------------})
({===============================})
({][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+]})
({~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~})
({00000<.'^'.><.'^'.><.'^'.>00000})
({-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-})
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
({~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~"*~})

EDIT: sorry for getting a little "creative"...

Then I heard a god yelling at me: CAN'T YOU JUST STAY ALIVE PUNNY MORTAL?! I WILL REVIVE THEE LAST TIME! Few seconds later I was standing in cold forest...

Not really a forest. Probably Punz, the snowy town. There was always a blizzard so I went to the closest building which was on fire...

(Umm...Pilgrim's Quest.)

Then I saw young woman, running in front of the building. When she saw me, she ran to me and cried: "Please! Save my baby! Fire Demon kidnapped him! Please save my baby!!" "Screw you" I said and walked away while...

...a bush of bananas...

...were dancing in...

a boat with hundreds of pillbugs playing banjo. Suddenly i met a huge...

...living apple! It was carrying...

This is just getting like spamming: Can't redink1 close it ??

The living apple was carrying a giant mole.The mole was named Glenn.I grabbed the apple and ate it and Glenn ran away.I threw the apple core at him and...

*This thread is getting a little long.It takes forever to load.I thought making a 'chapter 2' thread was a good idea,but hey,I'm just a silly beaver.

Yeah, it is a little long, lets make a new thread and get the staff to close this one.

The evil Chaotic

No that's the beauty of it, if you're THAT dedicated you'll scroll ALL the way down here to reply

Yep!

... And Glen Died, from the blow of the apple core then...

the banana-stealing aliens showed up and took Glenn's body.I thought that was pretty odd and I wondered if maybe Glenn was in cahoots with the enemy!!I stooped down and grabbed a handful of grass.I then skillfully made some twine which I attached to a stick.I then grabbed some carrots to use as arrows and started shooting at the alien spacecraft.

Now you woulndt think this would be the most effective way to knock down an Alien Spacecraft, but suprisinly it was...

Is Glenn me?

No, it's tha mole. Are you a mole?

No, I didn't read the story 'couse this is just stupid.

If it's so stupid why are you contributing?

I wasn't I was just checking it out and such, and when I saw Glenn, then I had to ask, and because I want to end this stupid thing

But it is GlennGlenn.I just made him a mole because furry creatures are more funny!!

Okay,so the carrots didn't have any effect on the spaceship.Luckily I still had some rope and I used it to lasso the ship.The ship continued moving westward with me hanging on to it.

and then I...

Started to climb into spaceship but suddendly, I saw an alien. A horrible alien! It walked towards me while I were hanging at the edge of spaceship.
It came and stamped my other hand. It hurt so much that I almost had to fall down. Luckily, I was still hanging at edge of spaceship with my other hand.

But it was too late, and before long I was hurtling towards earth at a phenominal rate. Hitting the water I thought I would have been instantly killed on impact, however this was not the case, as I was suprised to find myself waking up on an island I only knew too well. Windmere.

then i said to myself "didn't this thread end, not long ago?"...

No.

This thread never ended, hence the "Never Ending" part of the title. Blatent nazi.

The nazi walked away and the story continued as always...

I was then Transported to Windmere's new Brothal where I...

didn't get laid, but instead got feces flung into your face, causing the mime at the back of the brothel to shout...

I WANT SOME! and with that the mime came up and licked the feces of my face... I then got laid by the mime for no real reason

Then I woke up and

ate some chocolate. Then, all off the sudden, the closet went open. I walked towards it and to my horror, I saw...

Tal, Dead, Hanging there, Naked... After a few miunutes I notice he's not dead he's ...

going to start a new thread cuz this one take to long to load

NEVER! I say Slashing tal to the ground with a blow of a sword I spawned out of thin air, This is a legacy! Die evil Fend! and with that the evil Story hating tal was dead and I went out to eat some cake

well that didnt turn out right

Who said that I say, looking around AHHHH Im being watch by an Evil Idiot! I then ran away to contiue the story

Edit: Tal I didnt mean you, I meant this . guy, You wernt ever going to be dead, Unless someone made you so, I was going to lead it to find the real tal

It seemed to be... the Ghost of Tal.

And so, redink1 closed the Never Ending Story thread, because it screwed up the database. After fixing it, he re-opened it.

Then, a shadow fell across his keyboard. There was something stuck through his chest!

It was the database! It wasn't fixed after all! redink1 threw a sledge hammer at it, and it conked itself into properly working condition!

Then, the banana tree outside his home said "Coconuts are good."

And thus, redink1 smote the database, verily.

I came out to the bannana tree god, and gave it a coconut, when in a big voice it said...

what is this i thought a coconut was blue and then the mighty tree swung its branch and...

Hit me off to the Moon, There wasnt very much oxygen on the moon, so i decided, not being able to get back to...

earth, I floated around the Dinkiverse to find a place no man has ever travelled to before..

(NOTE: It's actually quite interesting to see that a thread can break a database )

The world of Lost Dmods, A place so,

...terrifiing, so undescribable, that the gods of yore had locked it away in this far reach of space. In a small gym locker no less, I tried to open it but realized that it had one of those annoying twist combination locks. I pulled a hair pin out of my metrosexual hair and begin to pick at the lock, with no luck I begin to curse the lock. The lock looked up at me and said "What did I ever do to you?" and thewn preceded to bite my ear off. Thus began the fight of the century, me versus the lock on the locker which held the lost dmods. Rounds 1-10 went as normal, I lost several body parts and the lock got scuffed a bit, but then the lock drew its lightsabor and I knew I was in troble. Out of complete fear and despiration I pissed my pants...

which really...

...really really...

I mean hoestly it sucked more than...

Warren G. Harding.

without dipers, in a blender

with the pool-boy

with a turbocharged vacuum stuck on maximum suck

..which reminded me of my cheating ex-girl friend ...

which made me feel...

like a banana when you push shushi in it and eats it faterwards

...and with all this in mind, my evil side came out, not the "evil ryu" from Street Fighter type evil side, or even the Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vador evil side. Actually it was more of the Jean Luke Picard turning into The Borg evil side. Well anyways I was freakin evil...

I steped on the grass and I...

...got yelled at by an old man pointing at a sign that said "Don't walk on the grass"

then he pulled out a shotgun and forgot that he loaded it with blanks...

Which really

didnt...

suck.. As he tried to unload/reload the shotgun I ran at him in an attempt to disarm him, however he was not as old and senile as he looked at he jacked me with the butt of the shotgun and I was out cold. I woke up naked, chained to four posts of a bed and very confused, however...

I felt...

myself...

and found...

a big huge...

throbing...

Bannana which...

made me feel very...

angry because...

to my shock, the banana was very...

heavy and..

phallic.

This made me Moo for no reason then...

I felt someone touch my banana, turns out it was...

vortex tiny litle rod

Vortex eclaimed, "GO GO GADGET ROD" and...

Sorry... ...Getting a lil pg 13

Alright guys and gals, this page is definitely taking too long to load. I'm closing this and carrying it out to another thread.