The Dink Network

i'm starting a new dmod. dreamweaver. that's all you can know about it right now.

the other part of this blog involves me and my randomness, just a few comments that you might want to read. i know that everyone makes mistakes, blah blah blah, but i feel like i've made too many mistakes, and people are beginning to stop listening to me. i can't count the number of times on one hand that i've been proven wrong on something over the past few days, and it feels...well, awkward :\. the weird thing about feeling awkward is, i'm used to being proven wrong. hundreds of times has the hand of truth come crashing down on my head, revealing to me the light of reasoning in which is the case when i am proven wrong, but i believe now things are starting to pull together to reveal to me...something. i don't know what, but something is trying to be said to me, or maybe it wants me to say something. when i say that i've been proven wrong, i don't mean just mistakes i've made on the dn, but mistakes i've made by putting trust into people who have in turn, disappointed me greatly. someone i know committed suicide monday morning. they didn't know for sure that it was suicide until just a little while ago. if that wasn't enough, one of my friends, one of my best friends, got high and a little crazy, and ended up losing her virginity to some random guy that she doesn't know. i couldn't believe that she told me this, because she was the last person that anyone would suspect to do anything like that. the bad part about it is, she said she remembered that the guy didn't use protection, and so for all we know right now, she could be pregnant. i feel awkward talking to her, because her and i used to have a strong relationship but we never went out, and all the promises that she made...down the drain...a few minutes of pleasure for a lifetime of regret. is it really worth it? i'm not sure which was the bigger mistake...not preventing her from doing it, or trusting that she wouldn't let it happen to herself. don't fool yourself. no matter how strong you think a promise is, it can still be broken. sometimes i believe people get confused and so they purposely make the wrong choices so that someone can tell them that it's not the right way, and the next time the situation comes up they'll know the consequences of the bad choice. i dunno, maybe i have it all wrong. maybe what i see as the wrong choice is really the right choice, but i doubt it. learning by mistake is usually the best way to learn, but some people will never learn. anyway, out of all the confusion, and all the mistakes i've made, all the misunderstood things i've said, everything that anyone took offensive, even all the things i said about KI...I'm sorry. whether it needs to be said or not, it makes me feel better to say it. out of the deepest part of my heart, i'm sorry...