The Dink Network

Post some good jokes ya know!!

Russians and Americans were racing which one could land men on moon first. Russians were furious when America got there first. However, they came up with a brilliant idea, to majorly outdo Americans. "Let's send men to sun!". Another Russian replied "I thought it was incredibly hot in there? How on earth can we sent human beings in there?". In silence, they all tried to think about this, until one of them came up with a brilliant idea: "We'll go there during nighttime!"

A woman was shopping when she got a call that her husband was near death and hospitalized. She said she would come right away, but spotted a bargain and spent all day at the shops.
When she got to the hospital, the lady doctor said, "I hope you enjoyed your shopping trip, because it will be you last. You husband will now require 24/7 care."
Wracked with guilt, the woman started crying. The lady doctor said, "Only joking, he's dead. Now let's see what you bought!"

A blonde and a brunnette were taking walk,when the brunnette said ''Look a dead bird!''.The blonde looks to the sky!

dang! I know awesome ones! But I can't translate them to english! I mean I can, but it doesn't sound funny when it's english. You know when you translate some proverb english to whatever your language is, it doesn't sound cool at all. Am I right?

Yeah,I know.Some of the best jokes you've heard sound terrible in english.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

Two antennas met on a roof. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

And invisible man met an invisible woman. Their children aren't much to look at either.

Did you hear about the Catholic beekeeper? He was killed by angry WASPS

PROFILE -
A man loses a lot of money in a trial and goes to a bar to drown his sorrows. As he gets more and more drunk, he finally slams his mug down on the bar and shouts, "Godammit! Lawyers are nothing but a load of scumbags!" The man sitting next to him turns and says, "Mister, I take offense to that." "Why, you a lawyer?" "No, sir. I am a scumbag."

I'm American, and I'm sick
of people saying America is
"the stupidest country in
the world."
Personally, I think Europe is
the stupidest country in
the world.

Had my first night with my
new Thai bride, we got
into foreplay and I was
sucking her off, then I
thought.. "hang on a
ducking minute"

Paddy goes to america for
the first time, walking
down 5th avenue he sees a
building on fire with
people stuck on the 4th
story window.. He shouts
up 'I'm Paddy John Dara
O'Neill, an Irish rugby
player jump and I'll catch
you,
A girl jumps, he catches
her, a man jumps he
catches up, a black man
jumps and he lets him hit
the concrete and yells up
'come on folks there's no
point on throwing down
the burnt ones!'

Well it won't work for ever,
but for a few hours at least
they will be entertained..
Americans: read the
sentence below.
Americans: read the
sentence above.

I went to doctors today
and told him "I've got a
problem, every time I finish
masturbating I sing the
American national
anthem".
The doctor said, "Don't
worry, a lot of wankers
sing that".

Australian rescue
operation.
Use stealth tactics to get
into the enemy building.
Use silenced weapons and
gas to disable combatants
and avoid detection.
Rescue victim quickly and
without taking any
casualties.
American rescue operation.
Roll up in Hummers,
because they are cool.
Throw grenades at
building until everyone
inside is dead, because
explosions are ducking cool.
Drag corpse of person you
just 'rescued' out of the
rubble and stick American
flag in them. High five
anyone in your platoon still
alive.

A Muslim was seated next
to an Australian on a flight
from Hong Kong to Sydney,
Australia.
After the plane was
airborne, drink orders were
taken. The Aussie asked for
a rum and coke, which was
brought and placed before
him.
The flight attendant then
asked the Muslim if he
would like a drink. He
replied in disgust, "I'd
rather be savagely raped
by a dozen whores and my
head stuffed up a sheeps
arsehole than let liquor
touch my lips."
The Aussie handed his
drink back to the attendant
and said, "I didn't know we
had a choice."

Jesus Christ, Chuck Norris
and a normal man were on
a boat. They had to get to
land, but had no oars.
Jesus starts walking across
the water, and finally
makes it safely to the
other side.
Chuck joins Jesus, and
walks safely across too.
The normal man thought, if
they can do it, I can do it.
He walks out of the boat,
falls into the water, and
drowns.
Jesus frowns, looks at
Chuck and says: "You
think we should have told
him about the rocks?"
Chuck looks back and says:
"What rocks?"

My daughter just walked
into the living room and
said, "dad cancel my
allowance, rent my room
out, throw all my clothes
out, take my tv, stereo &
phone, And sell my car.
Take my key, kick me out
and cut me out of your
will.
Well she didn't actually put
it like that.
She said, "dad this is my
new boyfriend, Mohamed."

I think the humour in those jokes was completely lost due to your suffering from severe diarrhea.

Yes, diarrhea or the mouth is very serious. You should see a doctor.

What?

Had my first night with my
new Thai bride, we got
into foreplay and I was
sucking her off, then I
thought.. "hang on a
ducking minute"


I didnt get that.

The joke was that ''she'' was a ''he''!

@Killersong

I dont care just say them in turkish instead if you cant say them in english.I can just use the google translater

@DuckHater

TRUE!! americans always driving up in hummer they think their so cool but their troops are pussies compared to the russians or australians

Uhh,Pred I didn't really read those jokes before posting 'em.I just copy pasted the first few jokes I got.

But its true the americans always think their cool driving up in hummers.

Even I think it is cool to drive a hummer.

I like Bugatti's better!

I find Bugatti Veyron ugly, though I guess I am the only one.

My daughter just walked
into the living room and
said, "dad cancel my
allowance, rent my room
out, throw all my clothes
out, take my tv, stereo &
phone, And sell my car.
Take my key, kick me out
and cut me out of your
will.
Well she didn't actually put
it like that.
She said, "dad this is my
new boyfriend, Mohamed."


I find this joke ironic, since you yourself are a muslim.

Yes,the design is not so well,but everything else about it is HEAVEN.Design wise,I like Lamborghini's and Ferrari's BEST!

It's hilarious,though.And the joke was directed towards racist's!