Reply to Re: A story you wrote
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Skull, that first comma is just there for no reason whatsoever 
Aside from that, your sentences sound good enough, but you omitted a lot of information
Of course he's inexperienced at writing, that's why he's showing it to us in hopes of getting some constructive feedback and to improve gradually
So that's where we come in^^
I agree about Jack being an unoriginal name, but if you're not writing fantasy, sometimes using common names gives it a realistic touch as well. But yeah, I'm against Jack/John
Aside from that, your sentences sound good enough, but you omitted a lot of information Of course he's inexperienced at writing, that's why he's showing it to us in hopes of getting some constructive feedback and to improve gradually
So that's where we come in^^I agree about Jack being an unoriginal name, but if you're not writing fantasy, sometimes using common names gives it a realistic touch as well. But yeah, I'm against Jack/John
