It was with great enthusiasm that I inherited the throne of the Dink Network from our former king redink1 several weeks ago. The two of us decided that I could maintain the site while redink1 pursues a deeper relationship with his Xbox 360, and I think we can all agree that the Dink Network is as busy as it's ever been. Unfortunately, few of you seem to understand life's other obligations I must satisfy before committing to Dink Network busywork, such as my Information Technology studies, my dishwashing duties, and my various romantic subplots. I am more than content with our Dink coverage ever since my banana-fisted rule was imposed, but some of you seek to squeeze more juice out of a dry banana, so to speak. This morning I came to a most wonderful conclusion:
Wiki. It's the only way.
Awaken my peasants, and embrace the glory that is Dink SmallWiki. Know that I am Tal, the eternal will of redink1, and that Dink SmallWiki has been created so that you can serve me.
I suggested the idea to both redink1 and Striker - what other staffers are relevant? - and we both agreed that this was a triumph. The Generation 9 architecture, which was the products of several years of unwilling labor and was only implemented recently, is simply not enough for the next logical step in Dink Smallwood fandom. This is inadequate. I have invested the remainder of redink1's life savings in new-fangled Wiki software that will allow us all to edit the various facets of the Dink Network as we see fit. For a preview of what's to come, click here. It's basically the same as what I'll be implementing soon, but with fewer Dink images and less potassium than the final product, obviously.
The following questions I asked myself during my sleep should help to illustrate the incredible power of Wiki:
Can you adjust DinkDude95's profile and portray him as an upstanding member of society?
Can you modify my news posts and cripple my vocabulary even more than several years of drug and alcohol abuse already have?
Are our younger members able to finish the remainder of Generation 9 with the power of Wiki?
IF THEY MUST
Back from the Grave was never finished; can we fix it?
YES WE CAN
Does anyone care if we edit ABCDEFGH-I-GIVE-UP right out of existence?
Is Dink SmallWiki the future?
NO, THE FUTURE IS OUTDATED
Don't think that you have free reign over every facet of Dink SmallWiki, though. There will still be godlike men (and only men) at the top of the food chain, and if it hasn't already become apparent, the power of Wiki is much stronger than I alone can handle. I have already appointed an Advisory Board that will ensure fair and rational use of all things Dink SmallWiki, and the members are as follows:
Tal - Like duh, I'm totally old enough for this.
Dukie - He's more productive than the rest of us.
Striker - He shall smote wrongdoers.
redink1 - VIP
John F. Kennedy - Diplomatic power will be served, primarily during our lunch buffet hours.
John Romero - Will make you all she dogs.
John Mellencamp - Completes the John trifecta, which is distinctly American.
DinkKiller - Fair representation is fair.
Applications for the Advisory Board may be submitted via the File Upload form and may be left pending indefinitely.
You may doubt my ability to implement such an ambitious upgrade to the Dink Network, but rest assured that Dink SmallWiki will be out of beta soon and that we're releasing on time! Dink SmallWiki will be implemented no later than April 1, 2009. I'm making a note here: "HUGE SUCCESS." As a result of the Dink SmallWiki upgrade, the Dink Network will be stronger than never, ever before.
In other news, we have reached an agreement with Valve Corporation to distribute their hit title Portal through the Dink Network. While it may not be entirely relevant to Dink Smallwood, I am of the opinion that you will all enjoy it thoroughly. Go here and look to the left. See? "Portal." Enjoy!