The Dink Network

BTW, redink should create a joke forum.

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to WalMart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at WalMart.

Made me chuckle

good one wc nd saffmoore

a headhog is walking around a barrel [wooden barrel] for about an hour, and says "if in twenty more minutes i will not come to the end of this fence,i'm going back!"

a russian an english man and ummm let's say a...estonian vere flying in a plain,and crashed into a deserted island.and they are the only ones who remain alive.well the plain is kinda a good thing there's a suply of water food...so they are living in that island for a couple of weeks now.and one of them found a magic lamp.he rubbed on it and a genie came out."oh thank you bla bla bla three wishes each"
the english man said umm i'd like a new car a suitcase of money and to get back home." and pooof he dissapeared the estonian "me too i want a car money and to go home" and poof he dissapeared. the russian "well those two guys were kinda good company...i'd like a truck full of vodka,some chicks and both of them back"

This one's a little geeky, hence why I posted it here...

Three women were sitting around talking about their husbands' performances as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband works as a marriage counselor. He always buys me flowers and candy before we make love. It's so sweet of him... I love that."

The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play a little rough... I love that."

The third woman, looking a little put out after hearing how great the other two have it, says, "My husband works for Microsoft. He just lies in bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."

Here's an old joke, that I use alot:

2 women (having just given birth to babies) were talking to each other in their hospital beds.

Woman#1: When I gave birth to my first child, my husband gave me a fur coat.

Woman#2: That's Nice

Woman#1: When I gave birth to my second child, my husband gave me a diamond necklace.

Woman#2: That's Nice

Woman#1: With the birth of this child, my husband is buying me a new house with brand new furniture in <insert Ritzy City Name Here>.

Woman#2: That's Nice

Woman#1: What did you're husband get you?

Woman#2: My husband sent me to etiquette school to teach me to say "That's Nice" instead of F**K OFF.

So if I ever say That's nice to you, you'll no what I mean

>^..^<

This not a good idea. Jokes are well and good and I like a good joke. However, this is a game forum with many young people on it. Are we showing them by example that it's just fine to say anything they want? What about the swear filter? Isn't this just another way around it?
If you want jokes, then go to a jokes page. Isn't that simpler? When these kids' parents check their computers and find this stuff, they will prohibit this site. Then we lose some great evolving minds and are the sorrier for it.
Please don't come back with the "holier than thou" routine becauseI'm not. I do have a temper and can swear horribly. But this isn't the place nor the environment. And I'm sorry if anyone gets offended. That's not my intention.

Oh please desertgrl, the children who browse this forum are worse than we are. They're playing DINK.

What if their mothers see when they are playing eg. SOB? They'll prohibit their children from playing Dink. Are you saying that those dmods should be removed in order for this problem to be solved??

And actually, I haven't yet seen anything too bad for a +10 year old...

But as for making a joke forum, I think it would be pretty betty stupid. I like occassional jokes posted by occassional people in occassional forums a lot more. I would most likely never visit such a forum, since people would start posting bad jokes...

lol. Yes, they know the words and probably use them. It's a sign of being old enough and tough enough.

Good point, even though I used to be one of those children. You can find a joke of mine and many others here.

You're putting words in my mouth. I'm not touching that question.
And no, so far it's not too awful is it? Tho i disagree with your statement about 10 year olds. But this is just the start.

Hey guys, I laughed at the jokes. I'd even heard them all before. I'm not a saint. That's not my point.

Oh well. I sort of understand you... You are a mother, or am I totally wrong??

About that this-is-only-the-start thing, can't say I whole-heartly agree, but yeah, that could be at least half-true...

And about my statement about +10 years olds, I partly retreat, since that depends on the person's maturity, not his age.

Anyways, I already lost the point of my post, so I'll just be quiet from now on.

one time i opened both windows in my room,and there were kids playing football outside.some were my age,some older some younger.so about aevery third word was a swearword and most of the language was threatening to commit violance on the person wich the the person who is talking is talking with

Ever watched the Osbournes? Some kids actually talk like Ozzy. Even some here in Vaasa. I only have one that sorta friend, though, since those people often don't only swear much, but are asses too.

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It went down the road, and turned into a field.

I am a comic genius...or possibly not.

Insult Jokes

If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.

If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.

Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.

Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.

I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.

You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.

People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!

You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.

I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.

I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?

Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.

People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright.

Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. You were a vacation for him.

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening.

I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.

I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.

I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.

I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.

I swear alot, but not as much as say in Scarface or Glengarry Glen Ross. I think they took swearing overboard in that movie.

you say their parents will block this site because of the jokes? oh boy... i probably made one kids parents warn him never to talk to strangers on the internet again. so basically im the guy your parents warned you about, and it hurts to think about that kid...

but ok, heres what happened:

my friends comes on aim, he tells me to IM some guy and tell him that he cant see my friends text, so i tell him that, and he asks me really ignorant questions *appatently he was 8 yrs old* somewhere along the line i asked him if he was my friends sister *i said sister because he had a tweety bird icon* and then he suddenly says "you sick little freek go away!" and then i said "wait... what? are you talking to the wrong person or something?" then he says "listen you, DONT EVER TALK TO MY SON AGAIN DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!" then i just blocked him. apparently his dad came on and thought i was trying to hook up with him just because i thought he was a she. he later said he sry, but im sure that kid got the fright of his life from his dad, and its partially my fault, but his should have waited to see if i said anything. its freeky and annoying

One day an indian boy asked his mother, "Mom, how did I get my name?" The mother replied, "Well son, when I drove to the hospital, I named my child after the first thing I saw. That's how your brother and sister got their names, Flowing Brook and Bright Meadow. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Pee?"

No, you're supposed to laugh now.

how do you get 100 babies out of a bath tub? tortila chips.