Make us laugh.
That's right. A joke, a saying, pun, whatever. Anything. Here we are now. Entertain us.
Once upon a time there was a human .the organs had a meeting ((there magical ok?)) And wanted to decide who should be the boss. the heart says i should be boss because without me ud instantly all die .the lungs say i should be boss because without me no one would get any oxygen and die . the brain says i should be boss because i command the whole body and without me all of u would be useless .the kidney ((or whatever i believe its connected to stomache)) says i should be boss cuse i filter out all the $hit all the organs laughed at him.The kidney got mad and stopped filtering out the trash. 2 days later the hearts blood was toxic the brain couldnt think and the lungs barely worked .they all agreed that the kidney is the boss.
MORAL OF STORY:U dont have to be very important to be boss just a B|tch
MORAL OF STORY:U dont have to be very important to be boss just a B|tch
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you dumbass!"
>^..^<
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pieman unto Simon
"Pies, you dumbass!"
>^..^<Heh.
How about this incredibly stupid one?
Question: What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord?
Answer: My ass.
o_O_o *runs away*
How about this incredibly stupid one?
Question: What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord?
Answer: My ass.
o_O_o *runs away*
A local charity office realized that it had never received a
donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The director
called him, hoping to get a contribution.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least
$500,000, you've given not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like
to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer replied, "First, did your research also show that my
mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that
are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the director mumbled, "Um... no."
"Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to
a wheelchair?" The stricken director began to stammer out an
apology but was interrupted. "Or that my sister's husband died in
a car accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation,
"leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated director said simply, "I had no idea."
"So if I don't give any money to them, why the hell would I give
any to you?"
donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The director
called him, hoping to get a contribution.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least
$500,000, you've given not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like
to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer replied, "First, did your research also show that my
mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that
are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the director mumbled, "Um... no."
"Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to
a wheelchair?" The stricken director began to stammer out an
apology but was interrupted. "Or that my sister's husband died in
a car accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation,
"leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated director said simply, "I had no idea."
"So if I don't give any money to them, why the hell would I give
any to you?"
Ok so like this climber walks up to this tall "CHICK" and says 'gee Id like to climb up and tuck little (the name of someone you think is realy stupid) in dat dar cave.' the "CHICK"
says in a two tone voice 'I think you might have some thoublr with the steep overhang above the cave.'
says in a two tone voice 'I think you might have some thoublr with the steep overhang above the cave.'
http://www.stupid.com
Since Easter is less than two weeks away you might find this to be a great gift for those of you who believes the dang bunny exists.
Since Easter is less than two weeks away you might find this to be a great gift for those of you who believes the dang bunny exists.
There was a Great Dog Convention.
They come from near and far.
Some came on bicycles,
and some came in cars.
Y'know, before they could enter,
or even take a look,
they had to take their asshole off,
and hang it on a hook.
But before they even got seated,
(every mother, pup, and sire),
An old dog hollered from the back,
"Run for your life. It's a FIRE!"
The crowd of dogs began to panic,
and nobody stopped to look.
They grabbed the very nearest asshole,
off the very nearest hook.
And this is why, even today,
a dog will drop a bone,
to sniff another dog's asshole,
to see if it's his own.
They come from near and far.
Some came on bicycles,
and some came in cars.
Y'know, before they could enter,
or even take a look,
they had to take their asshole off,
and hang it on a hook.
But before they even got seated,
(every mother, pup, and sire),
An old dog hollered from the back,
"Run for your life. It's a FIRE!"
The crowd of dogs began to panic,
and nobody stopped to look.
They grabbed the very nearest asshole,
off the very nearest hook.
And this is why, even today,
a dog will drop a bone,
to sniff another dog's asshole,
to see if it's his own.
Completely unacceptable. TWO THUMBS UP! 
A man is at the front desk of a Hotel talking to the Clerk.
He turns around and his elbow bumps right into a woman's boob.
He says to her, "Oh ma'am if your heart is as soft as your breast i know you'll forgive me."
She replies to him, "If your rod is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 235"
He turns around and his elbow bumps right into a woman's boob.
He says to her, "Oh ma'am if your heart is as soft as your breast i know you'll forgive me."
She replies to him, "If your rod is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 235"
O_o This is for you, WC.
A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"
His father says, "No...how old?"
He says, "I'm eleven!"
He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"
She says, "Come closer..."
She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.
She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."
He says, "How could you tell?"
She says, "I heard you tell your father."
A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"
His father says, "No...how old?"
He says, "I'm eleven!"
He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know how old I am today?"
She says, "Come closer..."
She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his underwear.
She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says, "You're eleven."
He says, "How could you tell?"
She says, "I heard you tell your father."
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good,
she was very, very good
But when she was bad,
She got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car..........
who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good,
she was very, very good
But when she was bad,
She got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car..........
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet
paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They'll grow larger over a period of years", he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?" "Worked for your ass, didn't it?"
don't hit a man with glasses-hit him with a baseball bat
Jack and Jill went up the hill 2 fetch a
pale of water, we dont know what they did up there
but they came back with a daughter.
Mary Had a Little Lamb and tied it 2 a pylon,
a thousand volts shot up his arse and turned him into nylon.
Hope this helped to laugh
pale of water, we dont know what they did up there
but they came back with a daughter.
Mary Had a Little Lamb and tied it 2 a pylon,
a thousand volts shot up his arse and turned him into nylon.
Hope this helped to laugh
"Warning"
The following joke contains useless, tasteless subject matter.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Once there was a horny guy. He had five dollars and wanted some "lovin". So he decided to go to the local whorehouse. When there, the pimp said that he could get a chicken to screw for that price. He refused. Later the next week, the guy decides to take the chicken. A week passes, and the guy needs some more "chicken love", so he borrows five dollars. At the whorehouse he asks for the chicken. Unfortunately, the chicken is injured. So instead he sees 2 chicks fingering each other. There are also 2 other guys watching this event, and he goes to them saying "Isn't this great?". They reply saying "Ya, but you should have been here last week when there was a guy screwing a chicken."
The following joke contains useless, tasteless subject matter.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Once there was a horny guy. He had five dollars and wanted some "lovin". So he decided to go to the local whorehouse. When there, the pimp said that he could get a chicken to screw for that price. He refused. Later the next week, the guy decides to take the chicken. A week passes, and the guy needs some more "chicken love", so he borrows five dollars. At the whorehouse he asks for the chicken. Unfortunately, the chicken is injured. So instead he sees 2 chicks fingering each other. There are also 2 other guys watching this event, and he goes to them saying "Isn't this great?". They reply saying "Ya, but you should have been here last week when there was a guy screwing a chicken."
a child worm comes to his mom: momy, momy, where's dad? mom: oh don't worry,he went fishing with his friends.
