Reply to Re: Dink Smallwood and the Legend of GoodHeart - A Dink Smallwood story; By Skull (Matias Kares)
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Dink took his Claw-Sword, which didn't have any kind of claws, but six claws of slayer. He shot a Hell-Fire spell to one of the monsters. Then he hit one of the monsters with his Claw-Sword.
After 2 hours of fighting he finally had beaten the monsters... expect one. The dragon was still standing there. Dink took his hood of, so he could see better. But, before he even saw anything, Dragon spit fire on him. Dink flyed to the beach. He just had gotten back to his feet, while the Dragon hit him with it's eight meters long tail. Dink was so tired, that he couldn't get standing up. Dragon hit him again, but this time with it's claws. Dink flyed and hit his head to stone. His Claw-Sword flyed to the sea, was lost. Dink had been defeated.
Your fighting scene needs work, it just isn't interesting this way in my opinion. Try elaborating a bit. I had some spare time so I rewrote it, just as an example.
Facing one of the vicious monsters, Dink unsheated his sword and calmly pointed it at his target. It had not been long since he last used his trusted Claw Sword to cut down the same type of monsters and it felt as if the sword itself had a lust for blood. Slipping into his familiar fighting stance, Dink charged at the monster, which had so far been idle, and without much effort dispatched it with a single upward slashing move. Dink grinned as the monster collapsed, eyeing the many other foes that still remained. However, instead of using his claw adorned sword to finish off the remaining monsters, he circled them, seemingly planning to lure his enemies into a particular formation.
It didn't take Dink long to achieve his goal. The monsters were still brainlessly approaching him, but due to Dink's manoeuvring, their movement now showed a distinct pattern. If one were to look at the battle from high above, it would become clear that all of the monsters were almost perfectly lined up, one after the other. A satisfied look appeared on Dink's face, just as his left hand began to glow a fiery red. The surge of power felt natural to him and he knew this spell would easily turn his adversaries into a pile of ash. The power had finished building up, urging Dink to release it. Still on the pursuit, the monsters had no idea what was coming for them. Their one line assault came to an abrupt end as the fire engulfed them. Dink's hellfire spell had not missed its target and made its way through the enemy mob, spreading intense flames to whatever it touched.
Dink lowered his arm, the energy had dissipated. He looked at the carnage before him and realized that he still hadn't lost his touch. If only Martridge could have seen him, he thought. Perhaps he would have been impressed and prepared to teach Dink a new spell. Dink's thoughts had wandered off a moment too long, however. From behind his back, a huge reptilian tail sought to end his adventurous life. Saved by his quick reflexes, Dink was able to dodge the razorsharp edges of the tail, preventing him from losing his head. As he threw himself to the ground, Dink identified his assailant. A worried look quickly replaced that of surprise. A new enemy had appeared, one he knew would not be taken care of as easily as his previous victims.
It had been a while since Dink last fought a dragon, but he remembered very clearly that this foe was not one to be taken lightly. Quickly getting back to his feet, Dink once again raised his sword while thinking of a plan of approach. He knew the dragon had an innate talent for magic, fire magic, and he could not help but worry about ending up like the monsters he had scorched just moments before. Dink took a deep breath, inhaling the ash the wind carried along so casually. It did not bother him, however. Instead, it reminded him of his abilities, reassuring him that this foe, too, would fall before him. The dragon did not rest and once again flung his tail toward his prey. This time, however, Dink did not intend to dodge it. He fully anticipated this to be the dragon's next move and had already thought of a counter. Running sideways, knees slightly bent, the bold adventurer and servant of the king allowed the tail to graze his left arm as this assured him the dragon's most dangerous body part was in close enough range to execute his next attack. Dink bent his knees just a bit more to take on the perfect position. He readied his sword almost vertically and thrusted at the enemy's tail, hoping to impale it and thereby wounding the dragon badly enough to make it falter.
But things did not go as Dink had planned. This particular dragon seemed to possess a fairly intelligent mind and had seemingly anticipated such an assault. The sword did make contact with the hardened tail, but instead of piercing it, the sword tip melted down on impact. Dink was struck with disbelief and averted his eyes toward the dragon. He had been a fool. The beast had been secretly casting a Heat spell and applied it to his own body. He now also noticed the red glow around the dragon's tail, proof of the magic surrounding it. There was no time for Dink to regret his carelessness, however. In one rapid move, he retracted his blade and rolled sideways over the rocky ground. Now covered in bruises, he attempted to stand up. Luck did not favor him today, however, and the dragon had apparently made haste toward Dink's position. His view was quickly covered by the giant creature towering over him.
As a last resort, Dink used his sword, now hot to the touch, to parry the incoming attack of the dragon's claw. The impact felt extremely heavy and Dink's hand could not hold on to the blazing hot sword any longer. A feeling of despair filled him up, but he stil had one last trick up his sleeve. As the sizzling sword fell beside him, the dragon's claw still rapidly descending, Dink called on whatever power he still had left in his legs and catapulted his entire body backwards. Momentary relief was forced upon his face, but he knew he was now at a severe disadvantage to finish the fight in his favor. He had lost his sword, his hellfire magic would not have any effect on the dragon, a creature born out of fire. He knew a few other spells, but they were not nearly as powerful and would surely not even put a dent into the dragon's tough body.
Unfortunately, no matter what Dink had thought to do next, none of it could be turned into action. Once again, luck worked very much against him. He had lunged backwards impulsively to avoid being slaughtered and as such did not have the time to look at what he would land on. Dink's vision went black as he felt an intense pain rushing through his head, which had landed on the blunt part of a heavy rock. He could feel his conciousness slip away into a deep abyss. Strangely, the dragon's hot breath reminded him of a better time, a time when he was still living with his mother in Stonebrook. The house contained the same warmth that he felt now, radiating softly from the modest fireplace. His last thoughts before surrendering to the unavoidable darkness were not those of familiar and friendly warmth however, but those of fear and uncertainty, feelings he hated more than any other. Chances of him waking up ever again were slim to say the least. At that point, the lights went out and Dink fell into a deep and forced slumber.
After 2 hours of fighting he finally had beaten the monsters... expect one. The dragon was still standing there. Dink took his hood of, so he could see better. But, before he even saw anything, Dragon spit fire on him. Dink flyed to the beach. He just had gotten back to his feet, while the Dragon hit him with it's eight meters long tail. Dink was so tired, that he couldn't get standing up. Dragon hit him again, but this time with it's claws. Dink flyed and hit his head to stone. His Claw-Sword flyed to the sea, was lost. Dink had been defeated.
Your fighting scene needs work, it just isn't interesting this way in my opinion. Try elaborating a bit. I had some spare time so I rewrote it, just as an example.
Facing one of the vicious monsters, Dink unsheated his sword and calmly pointed it at his target. It had not been long since he last used his trusted Claw Sword to cut down the same type of monsters and it felt as if the sword itself had a lust for blood. Slipping into his familiar fighting stance, Dink charged at the monster, which had so far been idle, and without much effort dispatched it with a single upward slashing move. Dink grinned as the monster collapsed, eyeing the many other foes that still remained. However, instead of using his claw adorned sword to finish off the remaining monsters, he circled them, seemingly planning to lure his enemies into a particular formation.
It didn't take Dink long to achieve his goal. The monsters were still brainlessly approaching him, but due to Dink's manoeuvring, their movement now showed a distinct pattern. If one were to look at the battle from high above, it would become clear that all of the monsters were almost perfectly lined up, one after the other. A satisfied look appeared on Dink's face, just as his left hand began to glow a fiery red. The surge of power felt natural to him and he knew this spell would easily turn his adversaries into a pile of ash. The power had finished building up, urging Dink to release it. Still on the pursuit, the monsters had no idea what was coming for them. Their one line assault came to an abrupt end as the fire engulfed them. Dink's hellfire spell had not missed its target and made its way through the enemy mob, spreading intense flames to whatever it touched.
Dink lowered his arm, the energy had dissipated. He looked at the carnage before him and realized that he still hadn't lost his touch. If only Martridge could have seen him, he thought. Perhaps he would have been impressed and prepared to teach Dink a new spell. Dink's thoughts had wandered off a moment too long, however. From behind his back, a huge reptilian tail sought to end his adventurous life. Saved by his quick reflexes, Dink was able to dodge the razorsharp edges of the tail, preventing him from losing his head. As he threw himself to the ground, Dink identified his assailant. A worried look quickly replaced that of surprise. A new enemy had appeared, one he knew would not be taken care of as easily as his previous victims.
It had been a while since Dink last fought a dragon, but he remembered very clearly that this foe was not one to be taken lightly. Quickly getting back to his feet, Dink once again raised his sword while thinking of a plan of approach. He knew the dragon had an innate talent for magic, fire magic, and he could not help but worry about ending up like the monsters he had scorched just moments before. Dink took a deep breath, inhaling the ash the wind carried along so casually. It did not bother him, however. Instead, it reminded him of his abilities, reassuring him that this foe, too, would fall before him. The dragon did not rest and once again flung his tail toward his prey. This time, however, Dink did not intend to dodge it. He fully anticipated this to be the dragon's next move and had already thought of a counter. Running sideways, knees slightly bent, the bold adventurer and servant of the king allowed the tail to graze his left arm as this assured him the dragon's most dangerous body part was in close enough range to execute his next attack. Dink bent his knees just a bit more to take on the perfect position. He readied his sword almost vertically and thrusted at the enemy's tail, hoping to impale it and thereby wounding the dragon badly enough to make it falter.
But things did not go as Dink had planned. This particular dragon seemed to possess a fairly intelligent mind and had seemingly anticipated such an assault. The sword did make contact with the hardened tail, but instead of piercing it, the sword tip melted down on impact. Dink was struck with disbelief and averted his eyes toward the dragon. He had been a fool. The beast had been secretly casting a Heat spell and applied it to his own body. He now also noticed the red glow around the dragon's tail, proof of the magic surrounding it. There was no time for Dink to regret his carelessness, however. In one rapid move, he retracted his blade and rolled sideways over the rocky ground. Now covered in bruises, he attempted to stand up. Luck did not favor him today, however, and the dragon had apparently made haste toward Dink's position. His view was quickly covered by the giant creature towering over him.
As a last resort, Dink used his sword, now hot to the touch, to parry the incoming attack of the dragon's claw. The impact felt extremely heavy and Dink's hand could not hold on to the blazing hot sword any longer. A feeling of despair filled him up, but he stil had one last trick up his sleeve. As the sizzling sword fell beside him, the dragon's claw still rapidly descending, Dink called on whatever power he still had left in his legs and catapulted his entire body backwards. Momentary relief was forced upon his face, but he knew he was now at a severe disadvantage to finish the fight in his favor. He had lost his sword, his hellfire magic would not have any effect on the dragon, a creature born out of fire. He knew a few other spells, but they were not nearly as powerful and would surely not even put a dent into the dragon's tough body.
Unfortunately, no matter what Dink had thought to do next, none of it could be turned into action. Once again, luck worked very much against him. He had lunged backwards impulsively to avoid being slaughtered and as such did not have the time to look at what he would land on. Dink's vision went black as he felt an intense pain rushing through his head, which had landed on the blunt part of a heavy rock. He could feel his conciousness slip away into a deep abyss. Strangely, the dragon's hot breath reminded him of a better time, a time when he was still living with his mother in Stonebrook. The house contained the same warmth that he felt now, radiating softly from the modest fireplace. His last thoughts before surrendering to the unavoidable darkness were not those of familiar and friendly warmth however, but those of fear and uncertainty, feelings he hated more than any other. Chances of him waking up ever again were slim to say the least. At that point, the lights went out and Dink fell into a deep and forced slumber.
