The Dink Network

You are bringing up things we have no idea about too - but i find it confusing not useful - maybe explain a bit of back story in a couple of sentences shes just remembering about clocks then his livestock is dying? Its a little disjointed still, you know the story but we dont...

I think Sabre will really appreciate all your input MsDink The quote above is the only thing I disagree with, but I realize it's just a writing/reading style. I like it when an author injects mysterius/unknown stuff early on in the story, even if it isn't mentioned again until much later on. In my opinion it makes the world less of a construct and more of a natural thing you as the reader are finding your way into. It's like if you'd go to some exotic location and you know very little of the people and their culture. Do you really need to ask them about everything going on around you to take in the experience? Of course, this is a short story, so time is limited and the scope should fit the length of the story to prevent pacing issues

If you've ever read any of Brandon Sanderson's books, he's a master at this

Edit: I just noticed Sabre's own edit