Reply to Re: Faith
If you don't have an account, just leave the password field blank.
June 19th 2011, 08:36 AM
shevek
Everything is a choice in my opinion
I disagree. It's a very popular view nowadays (coming from the US) that you are responsible for everything that happens to your life. So you have to choose things, and everything that happens to you is a result of those choices. I think that's not true, and I think it's dangerous to go a bit further: Saying this about yourself ("if I'm in a bad situation, I should have made a different choice") is one thing, and it can give you motivation to try harder, which is fine. However, saying the same thing about others ("you're in a bad situation because you made a wrong choice, that's your fault, don't come running to me for help") is making the world a lot worse to live in.
Some people have more opportunities than others. Sure, part of your life comes from taking the good opportunities and leaving the bad ones. But a quite big part also comes from luck.
they did teach me I can seek I can look for answers and its not scary and I will be supported when I do that
You are very lucky with such parents. One of the most important things which make it possible to freely choose is that you feel safe. If you don't feel safe, your mind is not your own. It will go into survival-mode and do what it thinks is needed. If you feel safe, you can choose for yourself. Making that possible is perhaps the most important thing parents should do for their children. This is the main thing abused children are missing, and they usually have trouble with it their entire lives.
I disagree. It's a very popular view nowadays (coming from the US) that you are responsible for everything that happens to your life. So you have to choose things, and everything that happens to you is a result of those choices. I think that's not true, and I think it's dangerous to go a bit further: Saying this about yourself ("if I'm in a bad situation, I should have made a different choice") is one thing, and it can give you motivation to try harder, which is fine. However, saying the same thing about others ("you're in a bad situation because you made a wrong choice, that's your fault, don't come running to me for help") is making the world a lot worse to live in.
Some people have more opportunities than others. Sure, part of your life comes from taking the good opportunities and leaving the bad ones. But a quite big part also comes from luck.
they did teach me I can seek I can look for answers and its not scary and I will be supported when I do that
You are very lucky with such parents. One of the most important things which make it possible to freely choose is that you feel safe. If you don't feel safe, your mind is not your own. It will go into survival-mode and do what it thinks is needed. If you feel safe, you can choose for yourself. Making that possible is perhaps the most important thing parents should do for their children. This is the main thing abused children are missing, and they usually have trouble with it their entire lives.
