The Dink Network

They once paid me to code for a living. But I'd rather 'dink around' all day.

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I do not think this will work as you expect it to for several reasons. One is that your variable name is too long (see quote from the DinkC "bible" below). Another is that you need to leave out the "if" in front of this line:

if(&dumb_and_overly_longly_named_variable == 2) { 
"Choice #3"

so it looks like this:

 (&dumb_and_overly_longly_named_variable == 2) "Choice #3"

(from DINKC Reference v3.1)
(2) The & must be followed by 1 to 18 characters to complete the variable's
name. By convention, C rules are followed (first character a letter or
underscore, remainder letters, underscores, or numbers); but in point of
fact, DinkC enforces no such rules. Virtually any non-blank characters
may be used to complete the variable name, including arithmetic
operators such as + and -.