Jokes please.
I need some jokes for the entertainer in Cloud Castle 2. Just 2 line jokes preferably.
For example...
"Did you hear the one about the magic tractor"
"It went down the road and turned into a field"
As you can see, the jokes don't need to be very good, but we need lots. So go for it!
For example...
"Did you hear the one about the magic tractor"
"It went down the road and turned into a field"
As you can see, the jokes don't need to be very good, but we need lots. So go for it!
August 29th 2004, 01:03 PM
MiloBones
What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
How do you stop a baby from going in circles?
Nail its other hand down.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.
Etc. Google it. You said not funny...
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
How do you stop a baby from going in circles?
Nail its other hand down.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.
Etc. Google it. You said not funny...
how many goblins does it take to shingle a roof?
3 if you slice them thin enough.
3 if you slice them thin enough.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might if they screamed all the time for no good reason.
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
If you're ever in a plane getting ready to take off, and you see another plane crash into something, just smile, because hey, there have never been back to back plane crashes.
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
Taken from www.brainofbrian.com
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? Maybe we'll never know.
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might if they screamed all the time for no good reason.
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
If you're ever in a plane getting ready to take off, and you see another plane crash into something, just smile, because hey, there have never been back to back plane crashes.
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
Taken from www.brainofbrian.com
Thanks for the efforts Weirdo, but those jokes aren't any use. They aren't short, 2 liners, which is what we need. Ric's is the perfect example of what we need.
Keep 'em coming!
Keep 'em coming!
Well, I looked at jokes.com and selected random jokes. I got a lot of 2liners so I just picked the first few 
Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Never mind that, what's she doing out of the kitchen.
Two pretzels were walking down the street........one was a salted!
Yo' mama so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a haircut!
Q: Why is a bathroom called a “rest room?”
A: Because when you pee you go, “AHHHHH!”
Q: Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey, so what did Delaware?
A: I don't know, Alaska!
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: I don't know, and neither does she.
Q: Why did the woman cross the road?
A: Never mind that, what's she doing out of the kitchen.
Two pretzels were walking down the street........one was a salted!
Yo' mama so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a haircut!
Q: Why is a bathroom called a “rest room?”
A: Because when you pee you go, “AHHHHH!”
Q: Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey, so what did Delaware?
A: I don't know, Alaska!
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: I don't know, and neither does she.
how do you know when a blonde has been using a computer?
there's tip-ex all over the screen.
there's tip-ex all over the screen.
Why did the blondie pour a botle of water over the pc???
Because she want to surfe on the internet
Because she want to surfe on the internet
Hey those things made me laugh Weirdo! Good job...
Its good to see someone new trying so hard to help.
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
Its good to see someone new trying so hard to help.
Sincerely,
The Vault Dweller
dammit, Vault's been infected by the be kinder to n00bs virus.
