The Dink Network

Guys I need your help.

There's this girl who volunteers at the same place that I do and she has a backside like mounds of warm, smooth, organic butter.

How should I achieve coitus and/or a long and meaningful relationship where we grow old together?

All options are on the table.

All.

If she's "at the place you volunteer at," you've got the opportunity to converse with her without appearing to be hitting on her. That's probably the way to go.

Bake her a cake with a shiv in it.

You already have the answer. Tell her that her backside looks like mounds of warm, smooth, organic butter. She'll love it!

Tell her that her backside looks like mounds of warm, smooth, organic butter. She'll love it!

I'll remember that the next time I'm in Sweden!

Oh yeah, it may only work on Swedish chicks, sorry.

What's that in Swedish? Perhaps I'll learn something important here...

Din underbara rumpa är likt kullar bestående av varmt, mjukt, organiskt smör. De får mig att smälta inombords. <3

I added a few words to make it more poetic.

Don't tell her her bum looks like butter for god's sake! I know as another female that I would not appreciate that, you are telling her she is fat basically. Get chatting about the volunteer work, then tell her something nice about herself that is not about her bum. Good luck.
P.S. Girls usually like to be told that they have nice eyes.

Girls usually like to be told that they have nice eyes.

This is something I find slightly amusing. Saying "You have pretty eyes" rather than saying, "You have a pretty bum" is usually being seen as giving a compliment versus objectification. But both are expressing interest in a certain part of the body, so if one is objectifying, the other must also be.

For example, if I were to stay at woman's breasts for an entire conversation, she'd probably hit me across the face really hard. However if I were to stare into a woman's eyes for the entire conversation, the chance she'd hit me across the face really hard would be pretty much nonexistent.

It's a contradictive world.

However if I were to stare into a woman's eyes for the entire conversation, the chance she'd hit me across the face really hard would be pretty much nonexistent.

There's always the chance that a woman will hit you in the face. No matter what you do.

Yeah, but gazing into a person's eyes is showing interest in the topic. Staring anywhere lower is to view them as sexual objects, and any higher shows disinterest in general.

There's always the chance that a woman will hit you in the face. No matter what you do.

Hence the "pretty much" rather than "absolutely".

Yeah, but gazing into a person's eyes is showing interest in the topic. Staring anywhere lower is to view them as sexual objects, and any higher shows disinterest in general.

Not necessarily.

If I was really interested in the topic, why would I stare the speaker in the eyes? The eyes aren't doing anything to convey the speaker's words. Now if I were to stare at a part of their body that's assisting the production of said words like the brain which would have me staring at their forehead, or the mouth, or even the heart or lungs- for which I'd be staring at their chest cavity. Perhaps even their hands are moving so I should look at those. Regardless, the eyes hold no importance to speech.

If I'm interested in the topic, shouldn't I watch the body parts helping to produce said topic, rather than the parts having no value to the topic?

Women are complicated.

Periphery. Your peripheral vision would pick up on that.

Women are just people. I treat them the same as anybody else. It's worked for me.

Women are just people. I treat them the same as anybody else. It's worked for me.

That's the secret to getting a wife isn't it?

lol sounds like she's doing her community service. How many piercings does she have?

She doesn't have any. She's a college student like I am.

Is she intelligent?

Do none of you understand women? lol Does she play Dink that's the main thing

Do none of you understand women? lol Does she play Dink that's the main thing

At least somebody here makes sense.

she's going for a PhD in...something. I forgot in the face of her powerful glutes. I usually don't crumple like that in front of woman, but she could leg press a cow. For 8 reps. Possibly 10.

Women like hygiene, small fuzzy animals, making pie and drinks with little umbrellas in them.

Okay, so make her a pie flavored drink with a little umbrella in it that simultaneously cleans her teeth and a small kitten to love and keep and call George.

Haven't lol'd for so long and so hard for ages TY guys

I have said this before but shall repeat it for all you new males out there: All you have to do is be yourself - we are gunna change you anyway.

oh p.s. If u tell her her bum looks like butter I will personally slap yo myself

oh p.s. If u tell her her bum looks like butter I will personally slap yo myself

Hahahaha!

oh p.s. If u tell her her bum looks like butter I will personally slap yo myself

In that case tell her it looks like margarine.

I'll tell her that I want to slather her buns in raspberry vinaigrette and play vegan buffet.

I'll then attempt to repeat that same line in explanation through the boot of a local officer.

Hey who knows? Maybe she'll respect you being vegan.

yeah...
maybe...

If you end up in a long-term relationship with this individual, you should show her this forum topic in a few years. It'll be a gas.

I will.
Imagine the tizzy.

For what it's worth, I asked my fiancee what she'd say if someone said your comment to her, and she said, "I'd laugh and tell them they were brilliant." So hey, who knows?

I haven't laughed so much for ages. You guys are so funny. Poor girl, if she only knew what was going on lol.

MSDink has the answer, kick him hard

What does this have to do with the holy relic? Also why not stick butter on her?

Also any idea for me to pick up a girl?

I'm sorry, but I don't know how to help you get a girl. Not to mention you're too young to be dating.

I'm 14 and my brother has dated more girls then me and had to go to court and then therapy for feeling up a girl.

So far the score is, Timmy: to many to count, Me: Zero, unless you count the love of my computer.

This topic just keeps getting sillier.

You're not referring to me when you say "Timmy," are you?

No, my brother's name is also Timothy, unless you are secretly him..... BROTHER!

Also I wouldn't exactly mention a Dinker getting many chicks, since from what I, we are blessed if we get one.

One is all I care to have, thanks.

But is that all the gods have in mind for our little Timmy, or will he shape his own destiny and dump her and become fabulous.

Either use poetry:
Roses are red
violets are blue
I suck at poetry
gimme dat ass

or start doing curls.

or do both to skip the small talk and achieve maximum wenches.

trust me

I prefer a kind, intelligent girl who is pretty without makeup.

Kris, that is hard to find in this time or you like old women, and I think Ms.dink is dating Exdeath.

You'll go far, Kris.

Meanwhile, I think this topic should be cut off for the good of society.

If it's for the good of society, the whole site should be cut off and/destroyed.

Join the Catie Wayne fan club and squat the loneliness away with me.

I know of no feminists at my school, then again I don't talk to that many "popular" girls, or girls that aren't my friend, or Ms.Dink who is just nice to everyone, but Robj the cookie thief, unless he stays for dinner.

Edit: Why is this topic the name of a holy relic again?

The Holy Grail of female backsides obviously

Wow, there really is no bottom to hit, is there? It just keeps falling.

Are you talking about DN discussion or about the generations, Tim?

I wonder what would happen if said female that Rain likes sees this topic, maybe confusion and then insanity.

lighten up sir.

As a strait-edge guy who doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, hookup or even eat meat, I still enjoy laughing as well as making fun of myself and the world around me.

Magic would happen.

"I prefer a kind, intelligent girl who is pretty without makeup."

Hey! She's taken

bench the tears away

I see one lie in that statement Rain, when you join the DN, Tal secretly finds where you lives and inserts banana drugs into your veins that make you want to come back here.

Tal is a lie.

I wouldn't say that, he might put the Tal Virus in you, it makes you have an urge to watch the worst, most disgusting, tal porn in front of anyone that you like or are trying to impress.

Implying I would let "Tal" give me aids without a fight.

You'd need a great defense that can withstand seduction and barfing so you can sleep at night, and it;s not aids Tal gives, it's Super Tal-Pal Aids.

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Peanut butter Jelly Time!

I'm not seeing how that was relevant to our intellectual banter

When is anything relevant to the DN and Tal?

Also I wouldn't say intellectual.

I wonder if Yeoldetoast is a kind and intelligent girl who is pretty without makeup.

I wonder if Yeoldetoast is a kind and intelligent girl who is pretty without makeup.

I wonder if Skull is? Or maybe me? I don't know anymore.

I remember Talmadge Spencer Bradley. I'd go by "Tal" too.

My fiancee is a kind and intelligent girl who's pretty without makeup (which she never, on any occasion, wears any of). This is probably a bad idea, but what the hell: here's a recent picture of the two of us standing in front of a blue screen at the Tennessee Aquarium.

My fiancee is a kind and intelligent girl who's pretty without makeup

Your fiancee's Yeoldetoast?

@Tim, are you tall or is your wife short? Also by eagles, it the Philadelphia Eagles?

I'm 6'2" and am nearly a foot taller than my fiancee. The Eagles shirt is from the high school I went to. The only pro sports team I'm a fan of is the Orlando Magic.

Definitely do NOT call her butter bum! At least not until after you're married. Try giving her some flowers. like daisies or something and then ask her if she'd like to go to a movie or go get coffee some time.

to go to a movie

Movies are boring go and challenge her to a video games because with video games you are actually DOING something instead of watching.

Ive noticed something it seems that all women hate men.

Carrie, I don't think awkwardly giving her flowers to get the ball rolling will be an effective move.

I'm better off just talking to her and finding out mutual interest. Judging from her buns I'm guessing that she's big into physical activity. Common ground there.

Punisher, sadly most girls don't like vidya. I don't think I've ever had a girlfriend who genuinely enjoyed them. Most girls do like movies, but sadly I don't. Going to a movie sucks as a first date.

Can anyone else that hasn't had a girlfriend join me in this corner of the DN, also I hope Tim's Fiance sees this topic.

Also is Fiance a French word?

Yep, the word is derived from French. There's actually an accent over the last e, but I am often too lazy to type the key combination.

She has seen this thread, and like the girls here, she found it hilarious.

You know, I was hanging out with a girl yesterday (gf of a friend) who's really into video games and would probably consider that an acceptable date, but this is definitely uncommon. My gal doesn't play games at all.

She does consider hanging around the house while I play games or do whatever an okay time, and we've hardly ever gone on a conventional "date," but this is probably uncommon as well.

And your woman didn't get mad, well that's lucky! Also does she play love games with you?

I'd recommend against taking my relationship as an example, honestly. I got with her mainly because she wasn't like any of the other girls I'd known.

For example, I've been led to understand that a lot of women want a present on Valentine's Day; she doesn't care in the least. Another is that guys are usually depicted as the ones forgetting anniversaries, but I've had to remind her of ours (not that we care that much).

The best advice I can give is contained in my second post in this thread.

Well good luck on the Marriage, if only you could invite us.

If you are to bring her flowers, start with some subtlety. Walk around the area gathering information on other people's allergies to certain flowers, state you want to bring in a bouquet to make the place smell nicer and to make everyone happy. You learn if she's allergic, everyone gets flowers, and you can use that information later to surprise her with her favorite flowers.

What if she hates flowers and anything else nice or like a rose, deadly.

The funny thing is the girl I like is as big of a video game nerd as I am. Definitely wouldn't be a good idea for a first date or whatever, but something to do down the road perhaps.

Why would it not be a good idea, you guys learn of the video games you like together and you get to do whatever in the game[s].

Please say there's another single Dinker I can be friends with, it's cold in the single corner.

Video games for a first date is not a good impression. Dinner, or coffee, or something like that, is a much better way to get to know more about each other and figure out if a relationship might work. Video games would be better for casually hanging out.

I'm a single Dinker. I really hope that changes tomorrow though.

Then please join me in the corner, it may get warmer. Also you could find out a lot about people on how they play games, for instance if they play fair or not and if they care about friendly fire or zombies.

People go around saying honesty is the key to good relationships. So in this case, that'd mean just go up to her and say "Nice ass! Wanna hang out?".

And if you end up losing your balls, I can't be held responsible. You're the one with a crush on her backside.

I know I'm crazy to say this but I actually like women more for their personalities and who they are, not their looks. Don't get me wrong, looks are a contributing factor, but they aren't necessarily a deal breaker.

I don't think that would work skull. Considering she's a volunteer and sort of quiet, I see her as more of a conservative type.

It works on every girl! Unless you have an ugly, pimpled face.

I consider myself part of the gentry. Such crass dialogue with a miss is not tolerable.

I say try the compliment, if she slaps you it's true love.

Today two other QTs waved at me while I was bike riding.

I instantly regretted not showering, not brushing my teeth, not wearing deodorant and not shaving.

Does the struggle ever end guys?

Such crass dialogue with a miss is not tolerable.

We usually disagree on this forum, but on this I am entirely with you.

I instantly regretted not showering, not brushing my teeth, not wearing deodorant and not shaving.

If they like you even in that state, you have nothing to worry about.

All right. I an idea.

Walk up to her. Stare into her eyes seriously and relentlessly for like five seconds. Then throw your arms in the air and yell, "POP POP!"

By the power of Magnitude it'll work. I know this because of all the times I've done this, it's never failed me.

Pop Pop?

Is then when the booty will drop?

Shizzle nizzle all the way to the iizzle my drizzle

ye.

Hrm. I guess the reference flew right over you.

Refuge in Audacity.

Call her a cute kitty, I planned to say that to my crush, though she was not here today.

Please for the love of god don't call her a cute kitty

Unless she's actually a cat. In which case you have some messed up and illegal fetishes.

I was planning on calling her a cute kitty, because she wears cat ears to school sometimes, *note* They are plastic, in case any of us weirdos got any different ideas.

don't know if anyone has asked this but if this is bout a girl why is the title "The Holy Grail"?

Take your time sire.

OK, since apparently people aren't familiar with this expression, I will explain.

It's common to refer to the ultimate goal or pinnacle of a pursuit, profession or endeavor as the "holy grail" of whatever you're talking about. Presumably, this topic refers to the "holy grail" of women's bottoms.

oh.....Iaminterested

hmmm didn't know that 'bout the 'holy grail' concept

I thought the grail was a cup holding divine liquid.

It is a cup. We're speaking metaphorically here.

Yeah, so was I...

...ew.

What kind of liquids, and are they tasty?

How the duck does a thread like this get over a 100 replies?

From a lot of people going off topic and wondering what it has to do with the Holy Grail of Tails.

What kind of liquids, and are they tasty?

Err... You really don't want to know.

hmm... all topics go of track due to one stupid reply *sigh*

Hey, They are not stupid, they're art in a stupid way.

lol

Don't you laugh at my artistic talents!