The Dink Network

My sister is 1 year older than me. She's a really ignorant person and is all into the boyfriend stuff but fails EVERY test and every exam. She got a 51% this year (Mine was 93%). Our school requires 60%. When I try to give her advice she says "Whatever" like some stupidshe dog you meet on the street. She worships Hannah Montana. She really wounded our family pride (All us kids have always got over 85%) but she doesn't care. Her teachers constantly call me in her class to complain about her. I hate her. But her excuse is always "I'm older than you." But she's less mature, and even in her studies she tries to act cool with SMS language and all. She spells 'the' as 'da' and uses the F-Word a lot. She is always on about boyfriends. She shows off a lot. I tried to convince her to watch Pink Panther so that her mind would grow less corrupt. She said"It's for babies". I tried to convince her to chess, but she didn't. It insults our religion that she is like this. It also insults our family. I wouldn't have asked f I didn't feel so bad. Pease give some advice. I always get suicidal impulses whenever she does this, just to be rid of her

A self centered whore. There's not much else you can say about that kind of persons. You need something big to happen to change their attitude. Sometimes that something happens too late. There's not really that much you can do. If you don't like her, try to be as little as you can around her, and not worry your brains to coma because of her. That's for your parents to do.

Honestly, it sounds like your family gives a bit much weight to something like school grades. Bad grades aren't the end of the world, especially if you're in "High School" or some such, the only bearing they have on your life is which school you will be able to go to after you finish the current one.

"She really wounded our family pride"

"It insults our religion that she is like this"

Wow...

Do I have to say this? I love my parents and I know they are terribly worried about her. My mother is constantly unwell and my father can't sleep well, and I've twice had nightmares about my sister going to hell. I don't want my parents to suffer that much. Really, I think they are in the same boat as me. Can anyone please offer advice or a scheme or anything? About the nightmares, we think that dreams about punishment from Allah is a warning. (Please respect that). Also, our family is less colorful now, and all of us rarely laugh at a joke. I really wouldn't have posted this unless it was really bad. My sister is horrible unlike my two other sisters and other brother. I can't explain anything to my idiot sister because I'm the youngest so she won't listen. What will she do when she grows up? She doesn't qualify for any job, and who will marry her? I have to think of my family because you can't abandon them. That's why I still try to help my sister get more human. In our religion, it is our responsibility to help other people see the right path. But she doesn't want to. While we prepare for exams, she applies makeup i the morning while we revise. And yes, we DO give a lot of weight to grades because we want to get good jobs. And don't quote stuff from movies scratcher. Look up the word 'Islam'. Then look up the ' idiot who doesn't recognize her religion and chats up strangers on te internet'. See the difference. High School shoot. High School grades. Bad grades aren't the end of the world but they ruin your own world

I have an advice... Give her a break, she's obviously going through a "w/e teen" period in her life. As Scratcher mentioned, grades in that age isn't everything, I bet she'll do fine later.

I'm more concerned about you, to be honest...

Eat shoot Marpro. This is serious. And w/e teen is no excuse

About the grades not being the world.
Well,I wish.
I mean seriously around that part of asia grades are everything.
either you are rich or you have good grades other wise you get abused and die an ass kissers death.
^the above paragraph was not meant to hurt anyone any any way possible^

is she the oldest from your siblings?

You know Marpro and Scratcher, if everybody was like you said, they would be just like me, with a poor job and barely enough money to buy anything else than food. Sure, school in that age isn't EVERYTHING, but seriously, 51%, you have to admit that's pretty bad.

But as I said, DinkDoodler, you should leave the worrying to your parents. Otherwise you may end up in even worse situation than your sister.

Poor job ... with unlimited internet?
She's second youngest.
And I will not get like her. I don't drink smoke or eat drugs.
She doesn't... yet

There are so, so many issues here besides the one with your sister, both hilarious and frightening. How can anyone possibly answer without going off-topic (from your point of view)?

"would be just like me, with a poor job and barely enough money to buy anything else than food"

Ze University, my friend. Higher education is the answer here.

Sadly, all other places aren't as awesome as Sweden, where you pretty much get everything you want.

Like an education?

And yes, we DO give a lot of weight to grades because we want to get good jobs. And don't quote stuff from movies scratcher.

I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick brainwashed religionists in the ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum.

' idiot who doesn't recognize her religion and chats up strangers on te internet'.

Change "her" to "his" and you could be talking about yourself. You're insulting your sister and your family by badmouthing her on the internet. Consequently, doing that actually says much more about yourself than your sister.

See the difference. High School shoot. High School grades. Bad grades aren't the end of the world but they ruin your own world

They don't. Like Marpro clarified, failing at school right now doesn't mean she is going to fail at school always, much less that she's going to fail at life. There are plenty of things she could do even without having super grades in subjects like Math, Physics and History.

But the importance of school isn't really my point, the point is how you confront it.

By all means, encourage your sister to do better at school, but freaking out about it and being all judgemental isn't going to help. Saying that she's going to fail at life or burn in hell isn't going to help. If anything, that's going to alienate her from your religion, school, your family and yourself even more.

In case the above sounds too polite, I'll finish with this: There's a difference between supporting a family member and being a nagging little she dog.

Religion plays a big part here. It doesn't surprise me that people don't understand why DinkDoodler is so worried. This just proves that DinkDoodler really believes in his religion and that is something other people can't do. And DinkDoodler, for the last time, relax. You have adults there that handle these things. Whatever they decide, you should try to just relax. What your sister does is not on your responsibility.

I agree with skull.
And I understand doodls agenda.
Well,I am not sure what YOU can do but your parents could always just be very strict with her.
And I dont mean corporal punishment.I mean like being a sour throat to her.
limiting everything she considers cool or fun.
Kill the makeup by the way.
Eventually she will ask why she does not get her privileges and why you do.
"because they get good grades and you dont"should be the answer.
Oh,Ya and dont give her any physical punishment i.e beating
And after writing all of that^
man,dont worry you are to young to worry and your sister is to young to be bothered with school like this.
I mean replace her with him and boyfriend with friends and replacing a few other things and that could be me (though i would never get a 50%)
And what grade is she in anyway?
EDIT:you are worrying like you are the family's breadwinner (Which I know you arent)

Wow. DinkDoodler, most people here are relatively secular and Western. You might want to try posting your query somewhere else if you are looking for sympathy to help you cope. You will only be challenged here.

Why would we not help DinkDoodler just because we're secular and Western and he's a Muslim? We could challenge his ideas, but there's no reason I know of for which we couldn't be sympathetic towards him.

Religion... What's that? Can I eat it?

I know a good religion everybody should consider joining. CommentsFromSwedishPeopleAreStupidism.

Grow up Skull.

@dinkdoodler:

I can imagine that your older sister doesn't listen to advise from her younger brother. You really should give her a break. It's really your parents job to watch over her, everyone hates when younger people try to tell older ones what to do.

You said that she dishonour your religion and family? That's bullshoot. About religion, who are you to judge what pleases your god?
And if your family really loves her you shouldn't focus on the grades, maybe she's problems so that she can't learn as fast as others but insteed of getting support from her friends and family she was marked as "The black sheep" of the family?

Just give her a break and let her grow for herself and find what she wants to do in life for herself, don't point out the way for her, then chances are big that she goes the other way.

If somebody should talk with her it's your parents and older people that she admire... anyone but you.

Wow, looks like someone else needs to grow up. Iplaydink, do you really understand how badly you just insulted DinkDoodler's religion and family? I agree with some of the things you say, but saying "You said that she dishonour your religion and family? That's bullshoot. About religion, who are you to judge what pleases your god? And if your family really loves her you shouldn't focus on the grades, maybe she's problems so that she can't learn as fast as others but insteed of getting support from her friends and family she was marked as "The black sheep" of the family?" is just too much. I trust you understand that things aren't the same everywhere, as where you (or me for that matter) live.

EDIT: Besides, it's not like DinkDoodler's sister asked for advise and comfort, so stop defending her all the time. We both basically said the same thing anyway. I said that DinkDoodler should stop worrying because of his own health. You basically said that he should stop worrying cause he's an annoying little idiot that's too religious. Seriously, if you so badly need to comfort his sister, then find her dang cellphone number and call her.

I guess I just found someone who I agree with more then skull

Well I just think nobody that takes his/hers religion seriously could say that he/she knows better than God what's right or wrong.

EDIT @Skulls Edit:
Well as she haven't asked for advise I think it's best to leave her alone to figure things out for herself, but if she actually asks for help it's her parents that should help her. I've never called doodler too religious, if anything it's not religious enough.

Banana flavoured cookies caused the oversized vehicle to escort the scarecrow toward Donkey Kong's banana hoard. I swear it wasn't me. It's true, and it's a conspiracy. It's very strange, and the fact that the helicopter makes the grass erect, means that the government is out of the question... hmmm. I mean, if a sock can't emit the dark luminescence from it's gloomy location, how can anyone ever expect a dramatic turnover of marbles in Dink Smallwoods draws. Just because marbles are round, doesn't mean they can't be turned over, most people just haven't unlocked the ancient secret to do so, as of yet. I blame the marbles for me not being able to sleep. I'm usually left staring at a dvd, which is perfectly happy just sitting there, co-existing with the novels, which are neatly shelved next to it.

IPlayDink, you have to understand everything that's being discussed in this topic just a little bit better I think, and with tolerance. No offense, but we're talking about an issue that most of us here on the DN aren't able to comprehend in the same sense as DinkDoodler himself is due to the simple fact of our own nationalities and religions, the way things are around us, and standard prejudices. Even I couldn't possibly give accurate advice on the problem, and my advice below could easilly be doomed to fail.

D.Doddler, from what I can tell, you're describing someone who's being corrupted by western society. There isn't an awful lot you can do to correct their position except to learn how to act, how to disguise yourself. That's only stage one.

Once you've mastered the mask, for some this is harder than others, infiltrate groups with similar issues as your sister. Befriend them and gather intelligence work on their beliefs towards social status, future careers and even religion. Western Society is filled with mixed beliefs, and even that could quite easilly be poisoning the rest of the globe with little or no trouble.

The path that I am suggesting involves a keen tactical mind and the willingness to risk sending yourself into your own oblivion. Like infiltrating any criminal organisation, the path I have just offered you may cause you to become addicted to it as a drug ring is addicted to their product.

Obviously this post contains a lot of off-topic sounding stuff, but it's related. Identify the problem, dig through the dirt for it's roots, and carefully cut them apart.

Western Society is filled with mixed beliefs, and even that could quite easilly be poisoning the rest of the globe with little or no trouble.

Poisoning?

I think what Someone said is right... and the first bit of ExDeath:
"...we're talking about an issue that most of us here on the DN aren't able to comprehend in the same sense as DinkDoodler himself is due to the simple fact of our own nationalities and religions, the way things are around us, and standard prejudices."

Someone who doesn't live in a religion or community like that just won't be able to understand what it's like, to be able to give good advice that properly fits the situation. I don't know how it works in Islam, but maybe the best thing to do would be to ask the advice* of someone you respect in your community (Imam?) who could talk to her about her life in general and help her. Someone with experience, not someone who will be too religious and push it down her throat, that's not what she needs at all right now.

Edit: *I don't mean take responsibility for her, that's not your job and she would probably be angry anyway but of course you could be worried for her.

I totally disagree with ExDeath.

Don't try to change her, it's not your job. She has to find out what she wants to be for herself, and if anybody should do something it's the parents.

doodler, you should just support your sisters life choices and show her that you still like her even though she isn't like you.

But this is just me, as ExDeath said, non of us can't really tell you what to do as we are of different cultural, religious and geographical backgrounds.

DinkDoodler should not support his sister's life choices if those choices are something that make her life miserable. I agree with Sparrow, Doodler should speak to someone about this, but definitely not worry about it all by himself.

Edit: I just realized that I don't really care anyway. Gl with your sister.

Here's my two cents.
She's the second oldest and acts like a stereotypical teenager.
That's what I gathered from your description. My advice is of a few things.
One, you leave her to her own devices and go on with you and your family's lives. She may get better on her own.

Two, you convince the first born to 'convince' her to do what your family believes is right.

Three, confront her yourself and tell her she has a problem with the way she acts, get the whole family in and intervene in every aspect of her life.

Personally, I'd go with the first part, mostly because your sister is your basic teenager who could give a shoot about the rest of the world. I know nothing about girls, (Though I have observed the actions of girls at school,) and I certainly know nothing your culture, religion (Except some stereotypes that are extremely likely NOT true,), and lifestyle. That's all I can give in the way of advice. I can only wish things don't get screwed up.

IMHO, Someone and Sparrowhawk are right DD, this is not the forum to get your answers from, most of us come from a totally different belief system and our opinions and expectations are quite different to you and your families. Our system tolerates these 'acting outs' of a teenager as normal behaviour whilst yours does not. What is acceptable to us is not to you.

I am of the opinion that all this pressure to conform - will just drive her further from her family, as it seems thats what she is rebelling against in the first place.

Hang in there DD - love her no matter what (because that leaves a way back) and find like minded forums to assist you in your effort to help her (I say help her, because I understand that is what your belief system expects of you). No matter what the outcome, she will need her brother later in life - don't write her off DD just love her as she is, look for the good because there IS good in every person on this planet.

I suggest we end this thread now. I have a bad feeling that people are going to start fighting over religion.

I opened this expecting a funny punchline. What's even funnier is that ignorant and stupid are basically synonyms.

Threaten her with a public stoning if she refuses to model herself on the prophet's wives. I'm not sure if you guys still do that, but some things just can't be solved otherwise.

Don't let test scores influence your decision making.

I don't want the thread to end yet. I want to see what comes of it all.

Hi there DinkDoodler. Just read your post. Im fairly new here(well..not exactly..I keep coming here on and off. Mostly anonymous coz I keep forgetting d password) Anyway, Im from India and people care a LOT about grades here as well, so I guess I understand. I know how you worry about her and how her behaviour might effect your family, and asking you not to do so might not help you.

What you SHOULD do is ask your parents to talk to some of her close friends. There could be so many reasons as to WHY she's getting bad grades and she might not be telling you any of these. Maybe she is finding it difficult to cope up? Or maybe she really is in a teen phase and wants just to enjoy like most teenagers do. All she needs is proper guidance. There's nothing wrong in chatting online and making friends, as long as she finds time to do her work and stuff. She does'nt have to change herself(since in some ways she may be right on her part) just find a little balance. And even though I completely agree with what some people here say, that grades arent everything, we still cant overlook the fact that in some places and for some people, good grades mean better lives in the future. I hope all works out for you

Let's fight. IPD you stink. Don't act like you've read the Quran.God has told us what to do. And encourage her ... that's sage advice, auntie.

By the way, I bought a dog, and I'm gonna call him Linus

I would be flattered if someone named their dog after me.

I wouldn't.

well,PM about this when your online I can give you some advise but I dont wish for my opinion to be criticized.
EDIT:If she comes back online I think Sohini and myself can give you the best advise in this case we come from(/are in?) the same country

I'm very tempted to start a fight but I'll just leave this here.

Past experience suggests not. None of the fights in those threads were serious enough to deserve a lock.

((((group hug)))))

(Ok I posted a blank thread so this is me covering it up ) Feel free to delete

I really love how Dinkers just can't get along when the topic is about a religion or a race.

Edit: Nah, I'm still staying out of this.

"You said that she dishonour your religion and family? That's bullshoot. About religion, who are you to judge what pleases your god?
And if your family really loves her you shouldn't focus on the grades, maybe she's problems so that she can't learn as fast as others but insteed of getting support from her friends and family she was marked as "The black sheep" of the family?"

From what I understand about the Muslim religion, they /can/ actually kill the girl for that.

It's pretty serious.

thanks IPD

What people don't realise is that in Islam the Koran is the direct transcript of what God said to Mohammed making it only valid in one language and without deviation or exceptions given unlike the Bible where most Christians do not take it literally because that's just plain silly.

Oh, please start a fight, Linus. I'll test my skills with words. And wongo, don't act like Linus no. 2. Islam isn't so tight, Allah himself said that we should not overburden ourselves with religion. But big crimes like drinking and stealing have punishments : 100 whips for drinking, and a hand cut off for stealing

Haha, my younger sister acts the same way though her grades are usually good. I don't understand why you are so concerned about her? Let her make her own decisions in life and learn from her mistakes. The situation will only worsen if you try to force change in her.

Q: How do you manage an ignorant, stupid sister?
A: Get a job, be promoted to a manager, and hire her.

Random answer to the original question when you don't read the
wall of text explaining the issue.

Hahahaa. OK it's fine. We're giving her tuition and I persuaded her to play Metal Slug so shewon't think about other tthings

She got away a little too easy, don't you think?