The Dink Network

Historical Hero

March 19th, 2015
Score : 3.0 tolerable
Peasant He/Him Equatorial Guinea duck bloop
can't flim flam the glim glam 
I decided to go ahead and play through the Historical Hero series after completing...I don't even remember. But the point is, I decided to play them. I just remember the other times I played this one, there was almost no direction at all.

Dink purchases a house that is priced at one hundred thousand gold for no reason in Old Derlicon. From there, he just needs to go rescue his dad from the Castle of Glamour which is under the control of King Daniel's knights and being defended from...sigh. Goblins.

More goblins. I get that this is supposed to be a sort of followup to the whole goblin war thing, but I just find these guys boring. It certainly doesn't help that they are powerful little dinks and take a long time to take down.

The formula for this game is not good. To get to the Castle of Glamour, Dink has to travel through 5 towns in a row. There's hardly any room between each town and there isn't much to fight either. You've got pillbugs, boncas...and that's it. There's a weird looking bonca that can show up, but the only time I encountered it, I was too weak to challenge it.

The hyper boots are an absolute necessity here. The game primarily consists of running around each town, talking to everyone to find something to do, and eventually ducking around enough to move on to the next town.

In the second town you'll encounter a ripoff of Cloud Castle 2's Scarab Club 7 called The Disturbed Rats. You've got a gnome called BatHat who is pretty much just Pencil Head, a knight who you take out early on, and the leader John who is just Kurt without armour. The similarities between these two are easy to spot - Kurt and John are both selfish leaders who are only using their teammates to achieve their ultimate goal. But in the end, BatHat is the one you'll be facing last since John is also taken out early on for some reason.

Speaking of Cloud Castle 2, there is also a water problem that you must solve by entering a well and defeating the badguys responsible. Nope, not the Disturbed Rats this time...just a couple of goblins for absolutely no reason at all but to stall you. This is where I encountered my first game breaking bug. You have to bomb the blockage of rocks and then leave. Thing is, I first tried exiting through the right and Dink wouldn't let me. So I grabbed the bomb and blew up the rocks and then tried to exit through the left since the stairs weren't working. I ended up being forcefully taken into the rocks where I became stuck.

Another game breaking bug was in the final dungeon when I fought BatHat for the last time. You have to push barrels while avoiding his magic spells to deactivate a fence blocking your way to him. He then runs away and you have to chase him to the final room and finish him off. Problem is, when I got back to the first room, BatHat was there again and the screen was locked. Since the fence and button were gone, there was nothing I could do. I don't know how the hell this dmod went through so many updates without this obvious bug being ironed out especially considering it's a story battle that won't allow you to proceed. I ended up just removing everything in the room save the button, fence and bonuses I think.

There were some bad decisions in the writing. A minor thing, I guess, but near the start Dink uses the term 'n00b'. I don't know how the hell that belongs in a dmod like this, but to make things worse there's a part later on where zeddexx and gokussj6 make an appearance and they use outdated l33tsp33k shit too, I believe. That scene serves no purpose, but I guess a cameo's a cameo?

One of the biggest issues with this game aside from the linear townjumping, fetch questy, formula was the enemy power. Once I left the northern-most town, I was greeted by slayers who I ended up just running past. Not too problematic yet, but it became so at the Castle of Glamour. Now, everything is so powerful that pillbugs hit me for 50 points of hp or so. 50! I thought I was doing alright for a while with all the bonuses and such, and I was increasing only defense throughout as far as I know when I gained a level. There are also corridors where there are slayers that can kick your ass quick as well. The fireball is somehow an alright spell, but it'll take a lot of them to win.

Going back a bit, there was a town where I had to endure knight training taught by BatHat. The obstacle course was some fences and some slayers. Three issues here - the gaps in between the fences are almost completely unnoticeable and it looks like there's nothing but dead ends. The second issue was the slayers. They're just too strong for how powerful I could get up to that point. The third...the timer. Two minutes. I almost spent all that time trying to figure out how to get through the pillars with barely visible gaps. I had to cheat. I was just out of patience at this point.

Final battle was Seth for no reason. It pretty much just came out of nowhere. Up until this point, Dink was after BatHat and King Daniel. But then suddenly Seth is part of this, because I guess a machine that can turn people into stone attracts his attention. Cool boss fight though.

But about that machine. John's plan was to turn everyone into stone in order to rule the world or something. I don't know what the hell he was planning on doing after that though. He had absolutely no motivation. I think he was just a bad villain. Yeah, that must have been it.

Overall, this is not a super good epic like the reviews would lead you to believe. I think we were just years without a new epic and when this came out, people were just glad to have a new epic to play. That's what I'm just going to go with, at least. And with the level of mapping and the quality of the quests, I think this was was pushed out just to become the first epic in years. It certainly didn't feel much like an adventure at all to me. It was really just a straight line which too many towns clogging up the map and little to explore and fight.

I don't do good on scoring, and lately I just don't feel like scoring a game is right. It's too final and anyone could just look at a score and not read. But I guess I'll just go with 3.0.