The Dink Network

The last Never Ending Story thread was starting to take far too long to load; thus, I've started this thread as sort of a relief for everyone. (Watch it die now.)

The last post from that thread, by Vortex:

"Vortex eclaimed, "GO GO GADGET ROD" and...

Sorry... ...Getting a lil pg 13"

Aww, now my "uber fast computer" no longer makes me superior to all you slow computer users.

The evil Chaotic

I decided that i was disqusting so, I decided to chop of my...

my current thought sequence and get to the long, hot, nasty,...

truth. which was...

funny...

and long drawn out since this is a NEVERENDING STORY!! Where is Everyone!

They are all over here...didn't you get the invite...oh ...wait I am sorry I forgot, Redink1 told me not to invite you hehe

I hope your talking about me as narrating the char at that point and not just me SirCabbage

Yeah *cough* character... Yep

So I took my new 'go go gadget rod',a bag of marshmallows and a harmonica and attacked...

but I lost and died, and the wizard threw a sell on me so I could never do anything again!

And thus passed a rather boring hundred years, until the spell was broken by a...

magical purple dinosaur named Barney.
His horrible singing raised me from the grave and as soon as I had developed a super weapon(from my rusty harmonica, stale marshmallows & go go gadget rod) I attacked and killed the purple beast.His dying words were...

screw you donkey

It didnt make much sense at the time, mainly because...

it he was stupid

Because if I told him once, I told him a million times... the blue, yellow, and purple pills were not M&Ms...

But he just walked and go to the toilet, in the midle of jungle, when I told him that

If you're going to forget the toilet paper than you'll just have to use the leaves.

Then a combination of shock and amusement came across my face as I saw him pick several poison ivy leaves...

And Eat them, then he picked up some more and...

began to try and use them too...

*who is 'he' anyways? I mean, since Barney is dead and all, it can't be him.

Okay..um..George Bush ended up using the poison ivy to wipe his butt and boy was he sorry later!
But hey, I warned him.So I left George there with his itchy bum and went off in search of ...

the green mushroom...

which wasnt really green it was more of a aqua color

*cough*green*cough*

*hands Vortex a lozenge for his nasty cough*

I decided to look for the green mushroom in this dark cave I came across.Seemed like a good idea at the time...

Until I came across a large box of tnt with a fuse burning slowly, I also noticed a have dissolved lozenge next to the box. "Vortex you crafting devil, your handsomeness and keen eye have made me, the much stupider, uncool, and not as handsome, look even more stupid, uncool, and if it was possible, uglier." Well the tnt blew up ejecting me from the cave and I landed on a giant...surface but upon further investigation and licking I discovered that I had landed on the "Green" mushroom, which turned out to be as big as a skyscraper...

and actully Aqua

-ok you win, oh Master of the Aqua-

As I laid on the mushroom and began to wonder what eating the mushroom would be like so...

After a hour or so of the highness resulting from the eating of the magic mushroom I found myself in bed with...you guessed it...Tal...Who for some reason has survived this story and all 300 something posts . Well after I ran out of the room screaming I looked around and noticed that someone had taken my mushroom; that mushroom is worth alot on the black market. I was very hungry since other than that peice of the mushroom I ate, I haden't eaten anything in a long time. So I had to find that mushroom, or starve...

to sleeping with tal again, so hell give me food
Natually I didnt want to do that, but I ended up doing so anyway, because...

Was anyone else confused by that ^ ?

I think they're some mysterious connection between cabbage and tal!

Anyways, I decided it would be quicker to just hit Tal on the head with a big stick.Then I stole all his food and ran away.*muahaha*

Evil

The food was nice and tasty, there was a Bannana and two...

what the you are all crazy but here goes my bit

the banana tasted espesially nice but the i decided to conitue my seach for the green A.K.A aqua A.K.A stolen mushroom then i came to a path and for some reason tal had survived being beaten with a stick but i quickly ran into a cave cause she was no longer tal she was evil tal the blasts to the head had made her mentaly ill so she turned evil there i found more T.N.T so i tied tal up and cchucked her in the cave

(P.S sorry tal please forgive me for saying this
any way sircabbage putu into the story so blame him LOL)

Then it occurred to me that Tal wasn't a girl, just as soon as he unleashed has 40-inch schlong of doom.

A) I didnt
and B) I didnt call tal a girl..

anyway back to story....
Which REALLY...

(i tought tal was a girl cause som ppl said there is somthin between sir cabbage and tal what am i sikick back to the story)
was a 50 inch shlong of doom but i had a 100 inch
shlong of doom so i got a vine and made a super rope that could hold tal as the bombs went off it seemed tal had died with all the limb flying every where and all that but he has survived so much who knows if he could rise again then i continued the seach for the Green A.K.A Aqua A.K.A stolen mushroom...

So there I was, walking along some dirt path when I noticed a little dude up ahead.It was a leprechaun!! I decided to ask him if he had a green/aqua mushroom.(Why bother finding the stolen one when I can go get a new one)

...Just a second...Let me stop laughing at Tal being called a girl...ok I am ready.

And he looked up at me and said,"You my friend are an idiot." Shocked by this rude comment coming from such a cute little man I said,"I am sorry "tiny" am I a little too "short" for your "small" taste?" The leprechaun looked up at me once again and said,"My friend, you are an idiot, I am a magical creature, if I wanted to be tall I could magically make it so, you however, will always be the same stupid person you are now" The smart leprechaun proceded then to walk away. Dumbfounded by his comment I stood there and stared at him as he walked away until I remembered that he was still half my saze and I proceded to kick the leprechauns ass. But all of a sudden the leprechaun began to cry and yell for his mommy which confused me so I said, "Haha what happened to all those smartass commments huh?"...

Well after the little kids mom came and kicked my ass I realized it was halloween and I had just beat up a 9 year old kid...

So I felt pretty bad about the kid...for a minute.Then I went on my merry way searching for the aqua/green mushroom.Suddenly my path was blocked by a giant ogre.

I said,"Move fatass" and the orge sat there ignoreing me. At that time I noticed he was playing Halo2. I hit him, kicked him, made jokes about his momma nothing would move him and finally I had an idea. I decided to face the orge in head to head slayer. I noticed I was about to lose until I remembered the BR Combo...

...after the doctors finished stiching me up and the restraining order went into affect I proceeded to continue my quest for the GREEN mushroom...

you mean the Aqua Green Mushroom

Suddenly amougst the trees I saw It a HUGE AQUA green Mushroom!! It was so beautiful I could... Cough it...

so i decided to eat another bit of it wondering who on earth would steal a giant GREEN mushroom
and stick it right here in the middle of nowhere
i looked out through some shrubs then i saw i wasnt in the middle of no where i had found a village i dont know what it was called but who cares what it was called i just took my giant mushroom and headed back to the cave to see if tal was still alive or weather he was dead or weather he was faking it hopefully he got out and went back to normal nice tal who wasnt evil but i did that and there was no trace of tal or his body so he survived but who cares its not my problem now im just gonna see if there is any giant green carrots and corn or green eggs and ham around to go with my mushroom so now im going on the search for some of that stuff to first im going to seach that village i came across i better hide my mushroom first so i stuck some branches in it its green enough to be a tree hope no one finds it though...
(man this post is long it might just be the longest post in the history of never ending storys and i jsut made it longer)

Points towards 5th last post... 6th now.

Luckliy my Aqua green mushroom was still safe, so I..

Decided I would get the green eggs first.I figured I would need to find a green hen that laid them, so I started snooping through the villagers henhouses.But I couldn't find a green hen anywhere.I was just about to give up when...

Sorry squirelly person...I have made posts the eclipse yours like the Sun and the Earth... look at the old thread (if not me I know others have)

LadyCarrot popped out of the bushes she was so attractive pretty and beautiful that i never thought she would try to kill sir cabbage and lady carrot said in a voice that was the most beautiful i have ever heard i have come to kill sir cabbae i am planing to get his cabbage head and make it into stue then i said sorry but you cant kill sir cabbage and eat him that would be called canibalizim well im lady carrot as soon as i found out that there was a sir cabbage i decided to kill him because there cant be two people named after veggies LadyCarrot i humbly ask if you have eaten some leaves off that tree that looks like a aqua green mushroom no vortex i havnt she said so then i made up my mind to continue the seach for the green hen another day i have to ensure sir cabbages safety so i...
(also sir cabbage im not out to get you it just made the story interesting )

WTF GOD dang YOU!! WHAT THE HELL!! I AM BACK ON MY GOD dang ISLAND!!
A) YOU SPELT MY NAME WRONG SO MANY GOD dang TIMES!!
B)I AM BACK ON MY ISLAND
and C)WTF is wrong with you! Trying to make me dead.... HOW would randomly bringing in a charecter to KILL make it more interesting!! It makes it.... Look sorry Tal and Redink for going overboard but that STUPID post is annoying me so greatly! Please Please Please get rid of it

Edit: Wow that post got censored
EDIT2: GOD dang YOU SQURILL!! MAKING TO ACCOUNTS ONE JUST TO PISS ME OFF!! I SAW THE FACT BOTH HAD THE SAME EMAIL!!

Ignoring Ladycarrot's post (or should I say Squirrel101's POST!!

... A chery Duck came up, he was a happy duck with feathers, I didnt know what to do with him so I...

Relax, it's a story, you can just counter-bite her or whatever if she pisses you off

hey dont ignore my post FYI i made lade carrot cause squirrel101 sounds stupid and i wanted a whacky name like alot of people n here and for (1)it was that or lady mushroom or potato
(2)i dont know WHO THE HELL YOU ARE so why would i wanna cheese you
(3)get off my case you jerk
(4)i could have been my sister or daughter( if i was old enough to have one) we could have shared a email accout it has been known to happen

so id like to point out that the person in the tale vortex is not the idget you my friend sircabbage are the idget so BACK THE HELL OFF ME
OR FACE THE CONSAQUENCES AND GET OVER URE SELF YOU JERK

(beside SirStupidCabbage im not gonna kill the character votex has to protect you from lady carrot and i thought i would be interesting to add a new baddie (e.g me )to the tale any way lets get on with the story)
vortex then told her what happened to tal she went good and got sploded so many times she went smart(if sir jerk doesnt know what it means then it means spasticly mental and really thick)and lady carrot didnt really care until i told her that tals face was now all deformed and she said no not my face that is my pride well my face and my boobs lady so what happened to tal is she good lady carrot i forgot to tell you tals a guy
i found that out when he unleashed his 50 inch aqua green schlong of doom (what is a schlong of doom any ways) so evil turned good lady carrrot now walked away into the sunset
but then i decided to continue my seach for that green hen then i thought to get green ham i need a green pig well after i find that dang green chook...
(also did anyone notice that green eggs and ham is a book LOL i put that there on purpose)

(woops did i call tal a girl again its hard not to write she when im writing he i could even call sir cabbage a girl by accident or vortex or somone else hey is sir cabbage a sir or is he calling himself that cause it sounds good)

i then realized that seaching for the chook was pointless seeing as no such thing exsisted so i just took my mushroom back home and got highagain then once again that morning tal was in my bed next to me WHAT IS IT GROUND HOG DAY i exclaimed
then i found a piece of wood on the floor so i hit tal on the head with it he got back up and looked at me then he said dude put some clothes on cover your shame well tal you should too go put some clothes on ...

Shh...Don't tell my secret.

LadyCarrot; Be careful, lest Tal beat you to death with his Schlong of Doom. And if you aren't sure what a schlong is, maybe you should look down Tals pants.

Take a camera.

And a tranquilizer gun...maybe a HAZMAT suit

Just then, Lord Celery showed up and starting shooting at me.I jumped out of Tal's bed and made a run for it.I could hear Tal shouting obscenites but I couldn't risk going back to help him.Then I noticed Striker drive up in a red corvette.
"Get in!" he shouted.I got in the car and we sped off down the highway.I finally relaxed enough to look over at Striker and that's when I noticed...

(i had a feeling that was what a schlong of doom was EEEWWWWWWwwwwwWWWWWwwwwwWWWWWwwww plus tals hand must be big cause if you measure you hand span thats how big you schlong of doom is and i wrote the 100 inch one ok vortexs isnt that big nor would be tals it wouldnt fit in thier pants )

also vortex what secret

"if you measure you hand span thats how big you schlong of doom"

Sabre laughs with pity, knowing this "fact" is incorrect. His own schlong is much bigger than his hand span.

YOU ARE THE ONE WHO FOR NO REASON TRYED TO KILL ME! PISSED ME OFF IN THE FIRST FIVE SECS! I HAD A LOT MORE TO SAY ABOUT YOU, BUT IT WAS DELETED DUE TO SWEARING AN ALFUL LOT ON YOUR BEHALF LADY CARROT SQUIRLL YOU DONT SAY FOR ME TO PUSH YOU OVER THE EDGE BECAUSE IM ALREADY THERE WITH YOU!! IF YOU SAY ONE MORE UNCALLED FOR WORD I...

for goodness sake SirCabbage oh master of the aqua i said im sorry is that enough

Just dont you dare kill me again, or piss me off, Im easy to annoy...

Oh crap why did I just admit that

the master of the aqua was wat som one else called u so it wasnt a insult or wasnt sposed to be but you take it for what u think it is and let cabbage land and carrot land be at peace

why am i grey and why do i not show in lurkers did i get banned nooooooooooooooooooo

The other Master of Aqua was a joke, and I wasnt talking of caring about that comment

You do show in lurkers... weird, try logging out and logging in again?

ya that was the problem now im a fairy

any way where were we in this story also cabbage and carrot land are at peace as heard on king of the hill and i quote Universe In Harmony

(ok lets continue this story from the then i noticed)
that tal was still alive and good and he still hadnt put his clothes on he came up to the jeep then jumped in tal heres some clothes im glad you turned good again i said me to tal said then i said well the giant mushroom is exploded so lets go try to deafeat loard celary but first lets go find sir cabbage nobody knows how to defeat green vegies like him so they went in search of sir cabbage he was at the castle of all cabbagedom with ladycarrot who appeared to be appologising for trying to kill him (and that acctually did happen cause i wrote a letter to cabbagedom A.K.A Sircabbages letter box saying i appologised) we told them what was going on and SirCabbage was more than happy to help LadyCarrot asked if she coud help to we said yes then we...

went to the castle which looked like celary and
was black and then i almost forgot the inishiation (like in the first one) so we....

ate some cheese a whole load of cheese tasty tasy cheese

Then i ate some cheesey bananas

I can't really understand what's being said here (and I don't want to take the time to try), but this has to be one of the better unintentionally funny threads.

I've got a suggestion for everyone.

Stop bickering!

And please just continue with the story. No more "why'd you do that," no more "I should kill you," no more crap. Don't even bother replying to this with "I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Please only post extensions of the "story."

Uhhh.Anyways, as I was saying, I looked over at Striker and noticed he was wearing a pirates outfit.Now I knew he was really into the whole pirate thing but I had no idea he actually thought he was a pirate.I managed to stifle my giggles and used my cellphone to call up Sir Cabbage.That's when SirCabbage told me...

EDIT: He told me that I was in the wrong story thread! *oops*

To leave Striker out of this stupid thing if Carrie knows what's good for her.

"Oh my gosh," Tal said to himself, "Striker's really going to lay down the hurt." Tal then rolled his eyes, like dice.

You know, as far as I'm concerned, I think the never-ending stories should die (except mine)

Then Carrie rolled her d20 and made a successful saving throw versus striker, but striker used his point blank shot feat and knocked her down.

But then Carrie2004, having PMS, took out her Model 500 S&W Magnum revolver and blew a huge hole in Striker's head.Then all she said was 'dumbass!' and walked away.

Then accidentally fell in a steaming pot of vegetable soup that Tal was using to cook all the bickering vegetable-people. Then I saw bits of aqua-green mushroom in the soup, "NOOOOOOO" I shouted, diving into the pot. But I didn't realise that in fact...

I had no pants on so I was...

so i was standing there in the cold with no pants or jocks on dang i said to myself i forgot to put pants on so thats why cabbage and carrot were laughing at me
(man where did i come up with that bit)

then george bush and his itchy bumm came up his bum looked all rashy
oh why did you leave me in the forrest whith a itchy bum you could have at least gave me ointment to rub on it it was so itchy i couldnt move so i had to listen to barny sing do you know the muffin man and i love you you love me we're all one big family even though he was dead bush exclaimed
then he kept on rambling on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about politics til he said elect me and you will get more mony then i couldnt take any more of his trash so i go my bazzooka and blew geoges head off he also said skrew you donkey which....

EDIT 1: i got my bazzooka

*You better watch out killing the president...the FBI has been watching this site ever since Tal started destributeing porn freely*

made me feel bad for killing the preident so I made a mini bush shrine out of the carrots and cabbage (o.0?). Anyway, I climbed out of the stew and ran like a bat out of hell to the nearest haunted forrest where I tripped over....what do you know?!?!...a light sword. "Now were cookin with crisco" A noise is heard from the back of the forrest and the Halo2 addicted orge that I beat last time re appeared. With out saying anything he shoved the controller in my mouth and wrapped the cord around my head so the controller wouldnt come out. He picked me up and began to carry me away to some far un-none place in the forrest. I woke up in some sort of court room. The judge, the honorable judge judy, said down to me.... Mr. Whosajiggawha, you have been charged with 254 different counts, ranging from the death of WC to the destruction of the banana shrine. I began to think of all the things I had done in the past week and how illegal most of things were. "How do you plea" she said and I was barely able to utter a meak "NOT GUILTY she dog NOW GET ME OUT OF THESE DANG HANDCUFFS!!" Then I was promptly tazered by the balif who turned out to be Striker with fresh bandages around his head. I looked through the audience and I could see all the people I had harmed in my travels, Bush, The Banana Tribe, Dan holding the bumper to his big truck, Tal...naked as usual, Carrie oddly enough was not there, Vortex was sitting in the corner in all his hotness, WC missing his arms, Joshriot holding WC's arms,and countless others all glareing at me. I promptly hid behind the baliff who then beat me down with his club and sprayed pepper spray in my eyes...repeatedly...Well how the hell did I get myself into this...oh yeah I remember all those fellows at TDN made me do all this stuff, I suddenly had a strong hate for TDN and all its followers...

Just then Carrie and her beaver gang parachuted down from a passing plane.Landing on the roof of the courthouse, they proceeded to make their way through the air ducts and into Judge Judy's chambers.After rifling through her purse and personal belongings, they came up with enough evidence to blackmail Judy.So Judge Judy dismissed all charges against Vortex, citing 'extreme circumstances' and released Vortex back into the free world.

Then Carrie died of explosive diarrhea and Vortex's head imploded.

However Vortex didnt know he was the main character but just lets it go...

I decided to hire myself a pilot and get him to fly me to the secret island of Croth.

Where a robot greeted me as I got off the plane. He said, "I am the ghost of Christmas past."...

He then offered me a fried turkey and I gladly acepted it. But when I wanted to eat it, it...

it spoke to me and said,"All your base belong to us."
I was like "WTF"
It was like "Fo Reel"
Then I was like "Holy Scheiße"
Then it was like "Huh?"
And I was like "You trippin foo"
And it was like all "Oh no you didn't"
Anyway I was seriously freaked out...

then i punched that turkey and told it to jump out of the plane so it did and the plane crashed and i found my self on a unknown island then i realized
that every one in this story were clones and on the island were tal dan bush lady carrot sir cabbage (tal was also naked) and every other character in the story all happy and we lived
together thier forever and play dink it all seemed like this was a happy ending for all of us then we realized that this was mystery island and we found a village with dead people in it and dink was there to so we decided to halp him destroy the cameras then we...

found Chaotic, sitting in a pit, counting the roots of former banana trees and crying, then I turned around and continued hitting the cameras. After 20 punches, my fist started to hurt. Then some dinker came up with the brilliant idea to install windows XP on the "cameraoperatingcomputerthingamagiggy". Shortly after all the explosions and birds flying away, I decided to go rescue Tom, the briefcase. After setting off on my journey, I...