very hillarious stories
Got these off the net. None of these ever happened to me altho my 2 yr old son did happily and loudly announce to a waitress that his father was in the bathroom pee-peeing.
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Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take back the words or could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hyster-ically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has
never let me forget.
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, andI don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped
up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old
couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story!
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob,
where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
..............................................
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take back the words or could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hyster-ically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has
never let me forget.
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, andI don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped
up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old
couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story!
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob,
where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
lol.I have a good one that actually happened to me. My aunt and her children had come down for christmas. Justin, Tim and I were playing Masters of Teribithia(or some simmilar word), a Star Wars game.It was like Star Wars Tekken, a 3d fighting/martial arts game.I was pretty lame now that i think about it, but Tim and Justin to a lesser degree were star wars fanatics. I really looked up to them because i was younger. Any ways there was a Tuscan(?) raider character named Hor. There the stupid guys who always go "eeerrrhhhhh eeeeeeerrrrrrrhhhhhhh". I was up a gainst one and he severely beat me, so i yell stupid Hor, right as my aunt Mary walks in. My aut mary and her son and daughter are a very religious family and are VERY strict. Looking back it is kind of funny all the commotion this misunderstanding caused.
It was "Masters of Teras Kasi" I believe. One of my old friends was a big star wars freak for a while, and I have a good memory.
My mother rules at these type of things. True stories follow:
"How much are your Christmas masks?" to flea market vendor, about some halloween masks. She receieved an odd look in return.
"Welcome to the great lake of Sand Lake" when entering the *town* of Sand Lake. The lake was a mile away.
When reading water meters for a nearby city, she once got into a car that was not her own or the city's, and looked nothing like either. It took her a few seconds to realise her mistake.
When weeding my parents' first garden, she picked all of the corn and left all of the weeds.
When cooking Chicken Dumplings for the first time, my father was amazed to have found a bone in it. Apparently the recipe didn't say to remove the bones from the chicken.
When cooking biscuits for the first time when she was a teenager, they turned out so hard that her brothers took them and threw them at the barn window, and it shattered.
When driving for the first time, she put the car in reverse and hit the gas... with the house immediately behind her.
There are many more stories, but I can't remember them at the moment.
"How much are your Christmas masks?" to flea market vendor, about some halloween masks. She receieved an odd look in return.
"Welcome to the great lake of Sand Lake" when entering the *town* of Sand Lake. The lake was a mile away.
When reading water meters for a nearby city, she once got into a car that was not her own or the city's, and looked nothing like either. It took her a few seconds to realise her mistake.
When weeding my parents' first garden, she picked all of the corn and left all of the weeds.
When cooking Chicken Dumplings for the first time, my father was amazed to have found a bone in it. Apparently the recipe didn't say to remove the bones from the chicken.
When cooking biscuits for the first time when she was a teenager, they turned out so hard that her brothers took them and threw them at the barn window, and it shattered.
When driving for the first time, she put the car in reverse and hit the gas... with the house immediately behind her.
There are many more stories, but I can't remember them at the moment.
I just have to tell this one on my sister-in-law. It's too good.
One hot summer evening with the windows open, my husband and I along with my brother and his wife were playing cards at the kitchen table while bugs kept buzzing around our playing area. A very large bug with long antenna suddenly landed on the table. Everything stopped for a moment, and then came my sister-in-laws voice, "That bug sure has big testicles."
After we quit laughing, I looked at her and said, "Wow, Donna, you really have good eyesight." Which, of course, set us off again.
One hot summer evening with the windows open, my husband and I along with my brother and his wife were playing cards at the kitchen table while bugs kept buzzing around our playing area. A very large bug with long antenna suddenly landed on the table. Everything stopped for a moment, and then came my sister-in-laws voice, "That bug sure has big testicles."
After we quit laughing, I looked at her and said, "Wow, Donna, you really have good eyesight." Which, of course, set us off again.
Masters of steel hand. Is that a finnish game or what? I've always wondered about that name, but never enough to actually find out about it.
fuunny!
one time me and my buddies went to a park to play volleyball. we had the net and everything.we had two balls[but this storry is not genitalia related
]one white hand sewn,and a green rubber one.so one of my buddies started kicking the ball up realy high.
and one of the balls got stuck in a tall tree,with no ability to climb in ant take it.
so we started throwing the second ball[the fancy hand sewn one] and that one got stuck too."what to do,what to do?".then one of my mates found a rock,a big juicy one. so he threw it to one of the balls.i at the moment was standing under the tree,and when tha rock hit some branch [and didn't knock out the ball] it started falling down. i was looking somewhere else and didn't suspect a thing.when suddenly WOOSH.the rock hit my left ear and shoulder.[gawnd dang it's a good thing that it didn't hit me a few inches to the left!]ouch i said,but that didn't get the balls out of the tree.so my smart headed buddies took a piece of wood. and threw it towards the stuck balls-and the piece of wood got stuck!!
from here it seemes blurr,all i remember left,that somehow the balls went down but the piece of wood remained in the tree,later when we were havingh a snack,a lil' breeze started shaking the tree,and the piece of wood fell out and almost hit someone.
one winter in my school was very cold.so one geography lesson the teacher let us stand touching the radiator.i was standing with one girl.and then suddenly she turned around [facing the radiator with you know which part of her body ] and started rubbin to it and moaning that if she was sexualy pleased 
one time mom sent out me and my dear brother for groceries.and in she said to my brother what we should get and he was writing it down on a piece of paper.and she said to get a trikilá of sugar [trikili-short for 3 kilo pacage wich ounds kinda like tricky lee ] so he wrote it down ...13. milk 14.tricky lee of sugar....
so were at the store gathering the mentioned items,and we get to the shelves with sugar,so I take a 3 kilo pacage and put it in to our cart. he says "what is this for?" "well this is a trikilis of sugar" "realy?-i wrote down tricky lee".....
we laughed kinda hard,and when we told our mom she laughed histeri-ca-lee
one time me and my buddies went to a park to play volleyball. we had the net and everything.we had two balls[but this storry is not genitalia related
]one white hand sewn,and a green rubber one.so one of my buddies started kicking the ball up realy high.and one of the balls got stuck in a tall tree,with no ability to climb in ant take it.
so we started throwing the second ball[the fancy hand sewn one] and that one got stuck too."what to do,what to do?".then one of my mates found a rock,a big juicy one. so he threw it to one of the balls.i at the moment was standing under the tree,and when tha rock hit some branch [and didn't knock out the ball] it started falling down. i was looking somewhere else and didn't suspect a thing.when suddenly WOOSH.the rock hit my left ear and shoulder.[gawnd dang it's a good thing that it didn't hit me a few inches to the left!]ouch i said,but that didn't get the balls out of the tree.so my smart headed buddies took a piece of wood. and threw it towards the stuck balls-and the piece of wood got stuck!!
from here it seemes blurr,all i remember left,that somehow the balls went down but the piece of wood remained in the tree,later when we were havingh a snack,a lil' breeze started shaking the tree,and the piece of wood fell out and almost hit someone.
one winter in my school was very cold.so one geography lesson the teacher let us stand touching the radiator.i was standing with one girl.and then suddenly she turned around [facing the radiator with you know which part of her body
] and started rubbin to it and moaning that if she was sexualy pleased one time mom sent out me and my dear brother for groceries.and in she said to my brother what we should get and he was writing it down on a piece of paper.and she said to get a trikilá of sugar [trikili-short for 3 kilo pacage wich ounds kinda like tricky lee ] so he wrote it down ...13. milk 14.tricky lee of sugar....
so were at the store gathering the mentioned items,and we get to the shelves with sugar,so I take a 3 kilo pacage and put it in to our cart. he says "what is this for?" "well this is a trikilis of sugar" "realy?-i wrote down tricky lee".....
we laughed kinda hard,and when we told our mom she laughed histeri-ca-lee
