The Dink Network

Let's joke around

August 3rd 2011, 09:04 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
Most of the guys inthe DN have created dmods,really funny ones.so you all probably know some pretty good jokes.lets post all the funny jokes we know,favourably new ones or unpopular funny jokes that few people have heard.
August 3rd 2011, 09:11 AM
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Do community jokes count?
How old are you MsDink
97

In the end nobody got the blonde girl because she knew we were from the same website as Predator and that kind of freaked her out
why didnt I get quoted on that!
August 3rd 2011, 09:13 AM
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Skull
Peasant Male Finland bloop
"I'd like to be a tree..." 
Because it ain't quote-worthy.
August 3rd 2011, 09:18 AM
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Nothing is now. All is lost! We're all doomed! The foosa will come back and gobble us with their mouths because... we are all - STEAK!
Edit: forgot to add a smiley
August 3rd 2011, 09:22 AM
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metatarasal
Bard Male Netherlands
I object 
And that's bad I presume?
August 3rd 2011, 09:23 AM
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Imatch
Ghost
 
A bunch o stuff is quotable just that it dosnt get quoted witch in a sense means nothings quotable I'm lost.
August 3rd 2011, 09:25 AM
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yeoldetoast
Peasant Female Australia steam
discord.gg/Ukugfbh 
I like the guy in Cloud Castle 2 who tells the jokes.
August 3rd 2011, 10:22 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
Can't you all just post jokes? I haven't heard a good joke in months.
August 3rd 2011, 10:31 AM
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A duck is trying to cross the road. A chicken sees her and says, "I wouldn't bother pal, you'll never hear the end of it"
August 3rd 2011, 10:39 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
I don't get it?
August 3rd 2011, 11:40 AM
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Imatch
Ghost
 
You just don't understand dink humor dinker skull would give you lessons.
August 3rd 2011, 11:58 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
Is that all,doesn't anyone here have a sense of humour.
August 3rd 2011, 12:04 PM
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You're beginning to sound like LordDack.
August 3rd 2011, 12:18 PM
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Quiztis
Peasant Male Sweden steam bloop
Life? What's that? Can I download it?! 
August 3rd 2011, 12:51 PM
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Skull
Peasant Male Finland bloop
"I'd like to be a tree..." 
Ipioti jokes are way lame. I can never think of any good jokes when I need to. Only joke I can think of is all the Dinkers.
August 3rd 2011, 01:41 PM
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leprochaun
Peasant Male Japan xbox steam bloop
Responsible for making things not look like ass 
A lot of dinkers do have dmods out, or in the works, mine is currently in the works, well, all it needs is a lot of scripting, which my skill in seems to be lacking.
August 3rd 2011, 04:01 PM
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Krisknox
Peasant Male United States steam
The site's resident Therian (Dire Wolf, Dragon) 
I know of a dentist named Mike Hawk. Mike Hawk is in your mouth. (Say it out loud.
August 3rd 2011, 06:37 PM
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zeddexx
Peasant Male New Zealand
I'm pretty sure I'm worth atleast SIX goats... 
lololololol
August 3rd 2011, 11:26 PM
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lol
August 4th 2011, 06:50 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
That concludes it,no one here has a sense of humor.if you think otherwise prove me wrong.
August 4th 2011, 07:12 AM
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GlennGlenn
Peasant Male Norway steam
GlennGlenn doesn't want a custom title. 
I like the guy in Cloud Castle 2 who tells the jokes.

He's just a proxy, the jokes we're submitted by us.
August 4th 2011, 07:16 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
Prove it.
August 4th 2011, 09:12 AM
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If you didn't get the Mike Hawk joke... *starts giggling again*
August 4th 2011, 09:15 AM
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Skull
Peasant Male Finland bloop
"I'd like to be a tree..." 
Wanna hear an absolutely awesome joke, Dinker?

You.
August 4th 2011, 09:16 AM
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He's really beginning to seem like LordDack that no matter what we say he doesn't understand.
August 4th 2011, 10:24 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
I'm a straight forward joke kinda guy.i just don't get these riddley jokes.
August 4th 2011, 10:31 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
I finally got the mike hawk joke.
August 4th 2011, 12:18 PM
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This is a funny true story: Once in class the master asked us "whoever is not wearing underwear, stand up" and apart from me and my best friend every guy in the class stood up!
August 4th 2011, 01:46 PM
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Krisknox
Peasant Male United States steam
The site's resident Therian (Dire Wolf, Dragon) 
Little Johnny had a powerful religious experience and went into the back yard to preach to the family cat. His mother was proud that her son had found God and started to make his favorite dinner. Suddenly, just as she put the pizza in the oven, the most frightful yowling came from the back yard. Fearing the worst, she ran into the backyard to see Little Johnny trying to put the cat in the pool. "Johnny, what are you doing to that poor cat?!" His mother screamed. "Baptizing the cat." Little Johnny replied. "Well, don't you know that cats hate water?" His mother asked, and Little Johnny replied, "Well, if he didn't want to get baptized, he shouldn't have joined my church!"
August 5th 2011, 12:40 AM
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Mrgantoe
Peasant Male Cuba xbox
I'm simply a distraction. 
An Irish las becomes a prostitute and tells her dad that she had. Her dad is outraged and tells her to het out of his house. She agrees but says ok here's a 150k check for you a alfa romea for mom and this special addition action figure for little Timmy. The father is happy and asks were all this came from. She says dad I told you I became a prostitute and the father replays ohh I thought you said protistant. You guys probaly heard it already.
August 5th 2011, 01:08 AM
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I've heard the baptising joke, not this one.
August 5th 2011, 09:54 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
I had a thanksgiving dinner the old fashion way.I held a big feast,invited all the neighbours and killed them and took their land.
August 5th 2011, 10:26 AM
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Was that supposed to be funny? :/
August 5th 2011, 10:52 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
Your just angry about the fact that i don't get your jokes.
August 5th 2011, 10:55 AM
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I'm not. Who would be angry if someone doesn't get their joke?
August 5th 2011, 11:03 AM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
You.And i meant upset not angry,i typed that in haste.
August 5th 2011, 11:14 AM
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Skull
Peasant Male Finland bloop
"I'd like to be a tree..." 
Now that WAS pretty funny.
August 5th 2011, 11:20 AM
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Anonymous
Ghost
 
"If you don't like this country, I will pay to have your ass sent to Iraq you unpatriotic kitty." - WC

dude give me some money, ill go to the bahamas. - joshriot
August 5th 2011, 11:23 AM
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Anonymous
Ghost
 


A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
*
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
*
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.
*
Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates."
*
About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
*
He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
*
He sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you ‘did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you ‘did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
*
Love,
your son
*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*
Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you ‘do' sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you ‘do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under the pillow…
*
Love,
Mom
August 5th 2011, 11:44 AM
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Anonymous
Ghost
 
A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn off.'

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.'

'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?'

'

Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?'

'No thank you, but, I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun.

'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?'
August 5th 2011, 11:46 AM
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I'm not upset. Why would I be?
August 5th 2011, 12:49 PM
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Dinker
Ghost
 
A white couple were having a baby.Finally labour day comes and the wife gave birth to a beautiful white boy.Now the hospital was busy that day so they had to share their room with an african couple who had their boy at the same time.The white husband who was waiting outside didn't know that they were sharing their room. The doctor wanting the husband to see his son tells the nurse to show him his son.The nurse who was tired after the operation picks up the wrong baby and shows it to the husband.When the husband saw the baby he thought "no wonder she always burns my food".
August 5th 2011, 04:30 PM
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Marpro
Peasant Male bloop
-- Marp Ro 
Bwa. ha. ha. Funneh.
August 6th 2011, 05:27 AM
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Duck hater
Ghost
 
Teacher: if there are any idiots inthe class then stand up.
(No one stands up and after a while little johnny stands up)
Teacher: johnny you stood up,do you think your an idiot?
Johnny: No,teacher.
Teacher:Then why did you stand up?
Johnny: I thought you were getting lonely.
August 6th 2011, 03:58 PM
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the devil asks three fabulous couples to make a red baby or go to ---- so the white couple makes a white baby they go the black couple makes a black they go then the Mexican couple makes a red baby the devil asked how did you do it one says I put hot sauce on my ----.
August 6th 2011, 04:14 PM
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what do you call a woman who knows where husband is always answer a widow
August 6th 2011, 04:42 PM
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what ties a man down and slowly kills him.......A Wife
August 6th 2011, 04:44 PM
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Mrgantoe
Peasant Male Cuba xbox
I'm simply a distraction. 
Stop double triple posting lord dack .
August 6th 2011, 04:44 PM
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A thinks of something to give his wife for her birthday so he makes a certifagate? for two hours in the bedroom .so he gives her it and says I ll be back in 2 hours.
August 6th 2011, 04:45 PM
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but we have to yoke around
August 6th 2011, 04:49 PM
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Mrgantoe
Peasant Male Cuba xbox
I'm simply a distraction. 
It's only joking dack if someone's listening.
August 6th 2011, 04:51 PM
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so no more joking and people can read them later whats the joke of the 3 fabulous dwarfs do you know it pending in my mind
August 6th 2011, 06:34 PM
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zeddexx
Peasant Male New Zealand
I'm pretty sure I'm worth atleast SIX goats... 
*screams* to... many... noobs.... just kill me now! D:
August 6th 2011, 10:52 PM
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Godley
Peasant
 
<Godley casts weapons take away spell on noobs so that they cant kill Zeddexx>

<Godley stands in front of Zeddexx to shield him>

<Godley casts weapons take away spell on Zeddexx so that he cant backstab(or rather behead)Godley>
August 7th 2011, 01:28 AM
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zeddexx
Peasant Male New Zealand
I'm pretty sure I'm worth atleast SIX goats... 
I wouldnt do that > <gives Godley a glowing orb of light power in reward>
August 7th 2011, 07:32 AM
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DuckHater
Peasant Male India
From The Depths Of Tartarus Itself 
There were once two sister's,one a blonde and the other a brunnette.Their father dies and they inherit his ranch.But the ranch was in debt and the bank would claim the ranch if they didn't pay their monthly fees.They get an idea they would breed more cow's and sell them for a good profit.But they only have cows.They decide to sell their car and buy a good bull.They get 500 for their car.Now,they needed a good bull and the best bulls are from the Mcfly ranch.The brunnette decides to go to the ranch to buy the bull and the blonde will stay behind and come for the bull later.The brunnette goes to the ranch and buy's the best bull there for 499.She had to tell her sister to pick her up.So she goes to post office to send a post card.She ask's the clerk there for the cost and she said It was 90 cents per word but she only had 1 dollar.She tells the clerk that she had to tell her sister to hook the cage to the trailer and come pick her up.The clerk tells her to think of something short.She thinks hard and tell's the clerk to write "comfortable".The clerk confused asked her how this was gonna tell her sister to hook the cage to the traile and pick her up.To this the brunnette replies "my sister is blonde she'll read it slow".
August 7th 2011, 02:03 PM
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Krisknox
Peasant Male United States steam
The site's resident Therian (Dire Wolf, Dragon) 
I bet she will Com-For-Ta-Ble. I loved that joke.
August 7th 2011, 06:05 PM
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Did you hear about the girl who couldn't pay her exorcism bill?
August 8th 2011, 11:26 PM
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Predator
Ghost
 
Why are black people getting stronger.

Because TV's are getting bigger
August 9th 2011, 01:29 AM
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Oh sugar honey ice tea, you're back.
August 9th 2011, 03:23 AM
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Predator
Ghost
 
Dam are you still here
August 9th 2011, 03:39 AM
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Oh ___ , with you and LordDack an godley at the same time.... *shudders*
August 9th 2011, 04:32 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
DD, what is your problem with me?
August 9th 2011, 04:33 AM
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she doesnt pray to you as a god godley get it [god]ley
August 9th 2011, 04:45 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
I just wish WC came here with his Noob Cannon
August 9th 2011, 04:53 AM
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MsDink
Peasant Female New Zealand
Tag - Umm.. tag, you're it? 
ohh I soooo second that sentiment ...
August 9th 2011, 04:59 AM
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My problem is you said I should be banned, and "Yeah, go ahead. Flame" to me for no reason.
Oh, and LordDack, I'm male.
August 9th 2011, 05:07 AM
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Predator
Ghost
 
I agree you should be banned DinkDoodler you annoying parasite.
August 9th 2011, 05:12 AM
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MsDink
Peasant Female New Zealand
Tag - Umm.. tag, you're it? 
Get an account before you slag off others pred, you are using anothers name right now - at least DD uses his own. You cant take a name someone else has alread taken (ie Predator) - get your own why dont ya Try one thats not already registered to someon else eh.

Edit: ohh and leave your personal email public would you ... theres a good kid.

Edit edit - that wasnt predator - a. he cant spell. 2 attaacking someone not american, grammar not too bad, warmed bread - is that you AGAIN!
August 9th 2011, 05:14 AM
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Use your overgrown head, little man.
August 9th 2011, 05:24 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
And I said I should be banned too.

And so should be predator, Duck Hater, LordDack, skull, absolution and MsDink.
August 9th 2011, 05:28 AM
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Why should DuckHater be banned? He's new.
Why should Skull be banned? Whaddid he do?
Why should MD be?
August 9th 2011, 05:28 AM
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MsDink
Peasant Female New Zealand
Tag - Umm.. tag, you're it? 
I am not feeling the love here Godley...
August 9th 2011, 05:53 AM
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metatarasal
Bard Male Netherlands
I object 
*Hugs MsDink*
August 9th 2011, 06:00 AM
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*group hug and cries*
as far as I know, godley is probably jealous, since MsDink has never done anything wrong (*screams and drops what he's carrying*) yet he's still being a real git.
August 9th 2011, 06:08 AM
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MsDink
Peasant Female New Zealand
Tag - Umm.. tag, you're it? 
Aww *goes all shy* you'se guys
August 9th 2011, 06:12 AM
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I think nobody should be banned essept preddy, in my opinion we've all improved from what we were before.
August 9th 2011, 06:20 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
Skull should be banned for being rude to everybody.

DuckHater should be banned for flaming.

LordDack should be banned for not writing in proper english + flaming

EmDee^ should be banned for going starting the biggest flame war on the board. (the one between you and me, on the ill fated day)

You and Me should be banned for falling prey and abusing each other.

Predator should be banned for being anti-american, and hence disrespecting TDN.
August 9th 2011, 06:24 AM
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MsDink
Peasant Female New Zealand
Tag - Umm.. tag, you're it? 
in my defence I 'took it into the ring' so you would stop shitting in every thread - and it worked - you haven't flamed anyone that bad since

So hit a girl if you must but remember when you are swinging at me I will have my hands lower, crushing parts you wished by then you never had *wiggles eyebrows*
August 9th 2011, 06:25 AM
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Skull has improved, he's become nicer.

DuckHater has never flamed seriously as far as I've
seen.

LordDack: Yes, he should be, especially for trying to degrade schnapper.

MsDink made a joke out of what could have been a serious flame war, trying to make us two cool down.

You and Me have been nice to each other before you left, so it's Ok I guess.

Predator should be BANNED BANNED BANNED!
August 9th 2011, 06:27 AM
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Predator
Ghost
 
@MsDink it is me
@Godley is that really you or is someone else one of your friends ect. using your account.
August 9th 2011, 06:38 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
Skull has improved, he's become nicer.

DuckHater has never flamed seriously as far as I've
seen.

LordDack: Yes, he should be, especially for trying to degrade schnapper.

MsDink made a joke out of what could have been a serious flame war, trying to make us two cool down.

You and Me have been nice to each other before you left, so it's Ok I guess.

Predator should be BANNED BANNED BANNED!


Skull. Nicer. Thanks DD, you just made my day. Its the funniest thing I heard all day.
August 9th 2011, 06:54 AM
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schnapper
Peasant Male Heard Island And Mcdonald Islands
Let us save our effort and just lie down and die. 
Couldn't find the scene I was after from the movie... this will have to do. It's what this thread reminds me of.
August 9th 2011, 07:13 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
Couldn't find the scene I was after from the movie... this will have to do. It's what this thread reminds me of.....

And that reminds me of this and this.
August 9th 2011, 09:27 AM
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schnapper
Peasant Male Heard Island And Mcdonald Islands
Let us save our effort and just lie down and die. 
How does it remind you of wrecked cars which cost a fortune and look like giant pillbugs?
August 9th 2011, 11:09 AM
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DuckHater
Peasant Male India
From The Depths Of Tartarus Itself 
A woman is laying to die and her husband is standing by her.Then the women says "I have to confess" and the husband says "No,no confession's".Then she says "No i have to die in peace.Jack I've slept with your brother,neighbour,the mailman,milkman and your father."Then the husband says "I know that's why I poisoned you."
August 9th 2011, 12:17 PM
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Skull
Peasant Male Finland bloop
"I'd like to be a tree..." 
Nobody who posted in this thread is worth telling whether someone has improved or not. As for you Godley, you just go around hoping WC would come with his n00b cannon. The fact is, he wouldn't be doing a single thing you hope, and you would be amongst his first bannings.

As far as I can tell, I haven't insulted you in any way, Godley. So you owe me a compliment or two.
August 9th 2011, 12:40 PM
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Godley
Peasant
 
How does it remind you of wrecked cars which cost a fortune and look like giant pillbugs?

The video's title is brute <something> <something> 911

And that reminded me of a Porsche 911 being brutally destroyed.
August 9th 2011, 01:46 PM
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Krisknox
Peasant Male United States steam
The site's resident Therian (Dire Wolf, Dragon) 
August 9th 2011, 02:06 PM
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Striker
Noble United States steam
Daniel, there are clowns. 
Yeah, now is time to chill
August 10th 2011, 01:36 AM
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schnapper
Peasant Male Heard Island And Mcdonald Islands
Let us save our effort and just lie down and die. 
Love it Kris, but I'll tell you why.

(BTW, massive Cheech and Chong references in that )
August 10th 2011, 03:09 AM
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Predator
Ghost
 
@Godley Skull-depends Duck hater-WHO?!
Lorddack-you mean lordcrack yes he should
EmDee-WHO THE HELL IS EMDEE!
Predator(ME) being anti-americans HEY! the whole world is anti-american not just me and i never disrespect the DN.
DinkDoodler-HE SHOULD RESEIVE A BULLET TO THE HEAD
Godley-you need to be banned because of calling everyone retards.
August 10th 2011, 03:13 AM
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Predator(ME) being anti-americans HEY! the whole world is anti-american not just me and i never disrespect the DN.
Haha, he makes me laugh.
And quit it with the childish receive a bullet to the head gibberish when you can't even spell receive
August 10th 2011, 03:32 AM
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Predator
Ghost
 
It was ONE spelling mistake just ONE!!. you spelled atheist ateist

You cant spell DD
August 10th 2011, 03:34 AM
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Did I now?
August 10th 2011, 03:38 AM
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Predator
Ghost
 
No tyrant was ever a true Muslim, nor did Islam make anyone a tyrant. Islam encourages peace.
Oh and an atiest tyrant? Predator

There you go you f#cking smarta$$
August 10th 2011, 03:41 AM
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You said you were a tyrant? Very honest.
And thank you for seconding me on my point about Muslims not being tyrants.
Your last sentence is gramatically incorrect because words don't have hashes and dollar signs in them.
BTW you spelled atheist wrong there.
August 10th 2011, 03:57 AM
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Predator
Ghost
 
I did not say that,you did retard I copied and paste it and yes know it was spelled atheist but you did'nt

I put dollars signs in because of the swear filter you know that your just being a little b!tch.
August 10th 2011, 03:59 AM
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Oh I see. I see. I see. Hmmm Rich, coming from you, mate, I reckon.
August 10th 2011, 06:55 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
DD just got pawned.

Epic lolz
August 10th 2011, 06:57 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
I am not feeling the love here Godley...


I dont love 97 year old ugly women.
August 10th 2011, 07:41 AM
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schnapper
Peasant Male Heard Island And Mcdonald Islands
Let us save our effort and just lie down and die. 
Is it me or did "Godley" just become "Arse-holey"?
August 10th 2011, 08:04 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
You probably had too many schnapps, mate.
August 10th 2011, 09:59 AM
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got pawned
I dint know you could put a human in a pawnshop.
Holey , schnapper, geddit?
August 10th 2011, 10:13 AM
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Skull
Peasant Male Finland bloop
"I'd like to be a tree..." 
Paw-Ned. Ned Flanders had paws? I knew there was some rational explanation as to why he always acted so kind.
August 10th 2011, 10:35 AM
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dont love 97 year old woman
so the fact that Jordan Capri is 102 does come as a shock to you doesn't it? Geesh what a desperado.
August 10th 2011, 11:35 AM
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Godley
Peasant
 
I love only those women who are over 100 years of age.
August 10th 2011, 11:38 AM
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DuckHater
Peasant Male India
From The Depths Of Tartarus Itself 
Don't you think that's a little young for you godley.
August 10th 2011, 12:23 PM
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Godley
Peasant
 
Well, kinda, but then young women are hot, arent they?
April 1st, 02:45 AM
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Skurn
Peasant Female United States xbox steam duck bloop
i like pie 
whats the difference between a helicopter and a plane?

they both dig the ground.