Reply to Re: untitled-IV
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My first thoughts on this story were something like: "this is interesting, but she should learn how to write formally." Then I realized that if Redink wrote this, I'd probably get bored... so the writing style must be pretty good.
It really does seem like a personal account... the setup especially. Real life tends to have more characters and such than fiction, and you've captured that nicely. Also, the tension builds *exactly* as it would in real life, or at least as close to life as I've ever seen. It reminded me of 9/11.
My only suggestion would be that you ought to avoid details in describing the monster(s?). "Claws" are scarier than "almost lobster-like claws."
Overall, this is definitely a good story.
It really does seem like a personal account... the setup especially. Real life tends to have more characters and such than fiction, and you've captured that nicely. Also, the tension builds *exactly* as it would in real life, or at least as close to life as I've ever seen. It reminded me of 9/11.
My only suggestion would be that you ought to avoid details in describing the monster(s?). "Claws" are scarier than "almost lobster-like claws."
Overall, this is definitely a good story.
