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Reply to Re: Crazy Old Tim Plays all the DMODs of 2002

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June 13th 2014, 04:22 AM
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
134: Dink Racer Author: Joeri van Eekelen (Magicman) Release Date: September 15, 2002

"Grab the gold and avoid the stones, that's what it's all about in this arcade-like game!"

In this one-screen minigame, unseen space invaders attack Dink with endless pong paddles and rocks, although only the latter seem to do any damage.

Seriously though, the description, quoted above, tells you everything there is to know. Dink runs constantly on the road, although it does look pretty funny when you move downward, as he stops moving his legs and seems to just coast. It's not a bad idea, but as executed, it's really boring.

When you collect the little piles of gold, you receive not only a small amount of gold, but also experience. When you level up, the level up noise plays, but no dialogue is displayed. Instead, the rocks become more frequent. At least the experience counter doesn't reset like it usually does at level up, but it still takes forever to get from one level to the next. A glance through the scripts reveals that it's possible to win by reaching level 10 (8100 points), but I couldn't be bothered. I played way longer than I wanted to and still gave up at exactly 1500 points.

135: The Pirates of Portown Author: Dinkmega Release Date: October 20, 2002


Portown was one of several loose threads left hanging when the original game was hastily finished. It's clear that Dink was supposed to go there in order to book passage on a boat. I believe pirates were also mentioned. As it happened, Dink would have to wait until Mystery Island to ride a boat, and Portown would never be seen at all... until now, I guess.

The idea of finally getting to see Portown is the only interesting thing about this DMOD, and it isn't well-executed. "Portown," in this mod, is just another smallish area with several thatched-roof buildings in it, and it doesn't appear to be a port. There's a shore of sorts, but that alone hardly makes a port. There aren't very many people in it either, but, well, that much is easily explained.

Take away the word 'Portown' and this is another stultifyingly generic DMOD. Dink is summoned by King Daniel and sent on a mission, just like in Mystery Island, the Quest for Cheese, FIAT, etc. etc. etc. The dialogue involved in this scene adds exactly nothing to the well-worn concept. In the ending, there's even an exchange about Dink being given a vacation, which has been repeated just as often, if not even more. There is a guy who charges you money to make a bridge. It's set in a village whose population has been mostly wiped out. Even the fact that it's a DMOD consisting entirely of existing DMOD tropes is something I've seen before.

I don't want to come down on it too hard. In terms of gameplay, it's a competent romp. You spend most of your time wandering around the oddly wild Portown, finding powerups and gold hidden behind trees. You can buy a sword from a survivor, at which point you can find a screen loaded with powerups that makes you strong enough to fight the one pirate (pirates being represented by gold knights in this DMOD) still hanging around town. This pretty much opens up the end of the game, in which you storm a rather short fortress where the pirates have holed up. Even though there's ANOTHER crazy room full of powerups in the fortress, and even with the "spike sword" (clawsword) and hellfire I went back and bought from the merchant, the boss is quite difficult because he runs around at a simply ludicrous speed. I won on my first try, but barely, and that's with an inventory mostly full of elixirs. Dink didn't seem too pleased about his victory, though.