The Dink Network

Some of my "fateful" slaves have turned against me apparently they didn't like me feeding them banana peels instead of the fruit itself. even my prisoner Dink Smallwood somehow managed to break the supposed to be magic proof jail door. and he started the revolt. could anyone help me?

No.

well that is a dang shame but please don't tell me your on their side.

You are not beating them hard enough merder and feeding them?? tsk that is just a no no ... that's half your problem, allowing that little pig farmer out of his chains just really blew it for you huh ... oh well better luck next time

Only side I'm on is with monkeys.

You are not beating them hard enough merder and feeding them?? tsk that is just a no no ... that's half your problem, allowing that little pig farmer out of his chains just really blew it for you huh
then how hard was i supposed to beat them because i already was beating them so hard they bled after 2 hits(strangely a few seemed to love it). and the jail that annoying pig farmer was in cost'd me the jackpot an i even tested several top notch spells and it had no scratch(nor even the slightest dent) and even siege weapons did no scratch on it but somehow that pig farmer managed to break it. well dang it there goes several trillion GP to buy it. and if you are curious the enly reason i fed them is dead slaves cannot do my evil bidding.(plus 3 banana-peels a month is that really that much?)

Yes - it is indeed sad that some enjoy it - those are the ones you need to chain and have them DOING the beatings - they use less food to get the same results.

I do however feel that 3 banana peels a month is rather a bit excessive on your part, yes - eventually you have to feed the...m something - dead ones don't work as hard as the live ones, but 1/4 of a banana peel, made into a nice cold soup and fed to all should cover their nutritional needs long enough to get a lot of work out of them before they kark it. My suggestion is you need to somehow harness that pig farmers energy - I am not sure how far you are prepared to go to harness it tho *squints eyes and strokes chin...*

Yes - it is indeed sad that some enjoy it - those are the ones you need to chain and have them DOING the beatings - they use less food to get the same results.

I do however feel that 3 banana peels a month is rather a bit excessive on your part, yes - eventually you have to feed the...m something - dead ones don't work as hard as the live ones, but 1/4 of a banana peel, made into a nice cold soup and fed to all should cover their nutritional needs long enough to get a lot of work out of them before they kark it. My suggestion is you need to somehow harness that pig farmers energy - I am not sure how far you are prepared to go to harness it tho *squints eyes and strokes chin...*

mmm i see well i can have those beating lovers do some of the work for me. if they want to eat at all .
and i was overfeeding them well dang well i will follow your advise and do the 1 cup of banana peel soup for them to share. and if they complain it'll go to half a cup that should shut them up.

and i tried quite a lot to get that Pig farmer to do my bidding from bribery to blackmailing. and somehow he resisted my mind control spell. he also said no to my hottest minion when she offered him a date and the possibility of more if he joined my cause.
oh i hate those stubborn pig farmers *steam blows out of ears*

Merder you are truly evil my precious! Muhaha*coff*ahhrrhahaha

and if they complain it'll go to half a cup that should shut them up.
Ohh *wrings hands* what a wonderful plan!

*leans in and whispers* its not a date ... persay... he wants, its umm.. something pink and soft and well, friendly... does your magic still work?? I know how to get him back behind bars and once you crush the leader the rest of the slaves will follow...

Here is a hint He misses them you know... they can lead him back to your freshly fortified prison *evil chuckle*

Merder you are truly evil my precious! Muhaha*coff*ahhrrhahaha
Thanks i know.

and if they complain it'll go to half a cup that should shut them up.
Ohh *wrings hands* what a wonderful plan!
that certainly is. Slaves have little to no rights(the only right they have is to work their asses of)

*leans in and whispers* its not a date ... persay... he wants, its umm.. something pink and soft and well, friendly... does your magic still work?? I know how to get him back behind bars and once you crush the leader the rest of the slaves will follow...

Here is a hint He misses them you know... they can lead him back to your freshly fortified prison *evil chuckle*
I should have known he is into "that" . well i guess my special pig should do the trick. well if the first thing doesn't work the explosion the pig will for should do the trick(last time tested stonebrook was a pile of ashes and that was half of the strength of the explosives i give this one

Skull you crack me up!! Stop that lol!

Merder...
No no no I should have known he is into "that"
Hmm... a common misconception -

*whispers FAMILY SHOW!* *nods* *winks*

But ohhh I do like the sound of your "special pig"

Stands back a little (then a little more as visions of Stonebrook burning infiltrate the excitement of my little brain...) and waits...

The question now is the placement of the bomb...

Keep it down, there are children on this board.

I'm afraid I cannot allow your mistreatment of Dink to continue. Therefore, using my mastery of Void Magic, I have free'd him and cloned your slaves before mind-controlling them all to do my bidding. Which is to form an army of Cookie-Hunters to track down Robj's stash.

This appears to have become a Role-Play thread... Hm.

Hmm... a common misconception -

*whispers FAMILY SHOW!* *nods* *winks*

well there were D-mods which went father then i go on the subject.

But ohhh I do like the sound of your "special pig"
thanks and well the "Special Pig" will like the massage it gets from Dink. so much in-fact it'll explode out of the enjoyment.

Stands back a little (then a little more as visions of Stonebrook burning infiltrate the excitement of my little brain...) and waits...

The question now is the placement of the bomb...
well since it is stronger then my test pig it'll be quite a lot bigger .
as for the placement well Dink will be right next to it and if he somehow manages to survive the explosion the inevitable cave in should kill him.

Keep it down, there are children on this board.
I will skull. I will.

merder:well since it is stronger then my test pig it'll be quite a lot bigger .
as for the placement well Dink will be right next to it and if he somehow manages to survive the explosion the inevitable cave in should kill him.

You may want to check your cave first

Stands ready with a large platter (eagerly awaiting flying sausages)

I am indeed a really good catcher

m afraid I cannot allow your mistreatment of Dink to continue. Therefore, using my mastery of Void Magic, I have free'd him and cloned your slaves before mind-controlling them all to do my bidding. Which is to form an army of Cookie-Hunters to track down Robj's stash.well good luck with that because Robj's cookie stash is the second best kept secret of the dinkverse other then that i know of the clone spells and they all have 1 fatal flaw if the real one dies so does the clone. and also thanks for pointing out void magic now i can rotect the reinforced jail to cope with that .

You may want to check your cave first
i did and they are all there(killed the few clones you left behind thanks to my identification spell and unfortunately for you the dink was the real one so he should be dead soon.

umm.. just a thought - I am rather partial to apple sauce - err wondering if you *shoved* an apple somewhere umm.. dark, well , maybe there would be some spare?? *holds up a gravy boat as well.....*
Anticipation is an awesome thing...

My mastery of Void magic is not the only magic I maintain.
I have infused the knowledge of your plans to Dink's memory through Biomagic, and also have access to Time magic. As such, Dink has been free'd and warped to another Dmod instead; You're now dealing with Dink from during the Quest for Cheese.

*Whispers to Merder* I just checked the slaves - gave them a bit extra string on their banana peels to keep them busy whilst you score a direct hit on their leader massa...

umm.. just a thought - I am rather partial to apple sauce - err wondering if you *shoved* an apple somewhere umm.. dark, well , maybe there would be some spare?? *holds up a gravy boat as well.....*
sure i can *shove* those there too and it will work quite well as my ever hungry though now revolting slaves will be too distracted by the food to aid that pig farmer. it'll make the pork taste better too *licks lips*

so Dink made it out of your magic-proof cell . . .

*Throws away anti-magic crowbar when Merder turns away*

For the right price, I could sell you a cell so magic proof, not even a thousand fire bow and hell fire attacks could make a noise on it. No, no damage, no problem at all.

I'll let us haggle on the price, but my starting price is your soul.

*Whispers to Merder* I just checked the slaves - gave them a bit extra string on their banana peels to keep them busy whilst you score a direct hit on their leader massa...
Thanks well the leader will feel my axe wedged in his skull.

That should also give a delightfull blood shower and extra spicing of the pork.

Add some more of that bomb precious... (Batters eyelashes) I also am partial to crackling Nyummy !! and don't worry - your slaves were always revolting

Uses axe to imbed in the bottom of Evil Earls boat - souls are precious commodities... mine is not for sale!

EvilEarl:so Dink made it out of your magic-proof cell . . .

*Throws away anti-magic crowbar when Merder turns away*

For the right price, I could sell you a cell so magic proof, not even a thousand fire bow and hell fire attacks could make a noise on it. No, no damage, no problem at all.

I'll let us haggle on the price, but my starting price is your soul.
well my soul isn't for sale but i am willing to give the sols of 300 of my honest slaves.

Ms Dink:Add some more of that bomb precious... (Batters eyelashes) I also am partial to crackling Nyummy !! and don't worry - your slaves were always revolting
that pork-bomb should explode any second now *teleports all minnions and guests out of caves* and in 3... 2... 1... *ground trembles* "Kaboom" *a large dust cloudforms where once the caves were* Jipes it is way bigger then i anticipated. oh well the pork rain is great *catches a chunk of pork and feasts on it*
I will

Jipes it is way bigger then i anticipated. oh well the pork rain is great
... well...What can I say... size really does matter! and that pork was finger licking good, applesauce hmm.. fair to middling... shakes head, ok, REFOCUSES back to the pig farmer - how are you intending to recapture him now... you blew up our only method of enticing him back into the cells...
Umm.. sorry I think I sunk EvilEarls boat - he seems to have vanished! Sorry bout that *shrugs*

REFOCUSES back to the pig farmer - how are you intending to recapture him now... you blew up our only method of enticing him back into the cells...
Well i never said it was the on;y pig i had *winks* also he cannot and i mean cannot resist beheading ducks at all. so i'll make a trail for him of ducks to behead back to his cell

Excellent! my work here is done
Fare thee well great pig slayer may your evil plans work! I shall be watching from a far, hey and perhaps another bomb like the last one a little later?
That was AWESOME!

Just.... WAR !! TO WAR! Don't even think you can hit me with your clawsword , Dink Smallwood, because I have ................................. *peeks into bag* a SHOTGUN. *Takes out shotgun* Get ready to die! *Pulls trigger. Clicking sound* ... Oh, crap , I told Larry to reload it!

Just.... WAR !! TO WAR! Don't even think you can hit me with your clawsword , Dink Smallwood, because I have ................................. *peeks into bag* a SHOTGUN. *Takes out shotgun* Get ready to die! *Pulls trigger. Clicking sound* ... Oh, crap , I told Larry to reload it!
Looks like someone disrespects my no modern weapons policy. *casts brain void magic* there that should teach you some manners if you survive.

THE ARISTOCRATS!

fool
you have not yet tasted true power
i could let your minor skirmish continue
but
i wil not
.
*x*x*
destructus***********
*x*x*
.
*looks around to see the chaos i created*
ohh,it is good to be a god

edit:
this is what happens when one watches a lot of anime

Umm.. sorry I think I sunk EvilEarls boat - he seems to have vanished! Sorry bout that *shrugs*

I never vanish, you just fail to notice me when I choose it to be so.

Oh noes - you are not on that smallwoods side are you!! (cuts a bigger hole...)
EDIT: Ps H7f1 I never watch anime Boredom is sometimes a cruel masta ...

hell7fire1:*x*x*
destructus***********
*x*x*
.
*looks around to see the chaos i created*
ohh,it is good to be a god

Tsk Tsk you call that chaos?
my little piggies can do better then that infact one did better then that his explosion still has it rainig blood, bones, some pork and a lot of debris.

EvilEarl:I never vanish, you just fail to notice me when I choose it to be so.
So yo know how to hide well congratulations here have a pig and a handful of slave souls. also a warning whatever you do Don't kill the pig.

MsDink:Oh noes - you are not on that smallwoods side are you!! (cuts a bigger hole...)
that should work wonders on the buoyancy of his boat and i bet he can't swim *whispers to MsDink*if not the treated piggy will do the trick .

his explosion still has it rainig blood, bones, some pork and a lot of debris.
Pork sauce you forgot the pork sauce !! Ohh guess what I had for tea tonight Muhahaha
... rubs hands in anticipation of the *Treated piggy*

Void brain magic? What is that?. And here I come with my RELOADED SHOTGUN to kill merder. Die! BGang! *Laughs with vampire teeth*

somebody eat dinkdoodler
i would but i can not digest something like that

Don't kill the pig.
does exactly that and blowsup this thread

there
.
.
.

.
game over

Void brain magic? What is that? oh nothing special it rplaces your brain with a big void. and it is strange that you had no effect of it whatsoever. taht can only mean one thing you never had any to start with. and those puny pellets didn't even scratch my armor muahahahahaha. *Splits DinkDoodlers skull open with my axe*.

I don't want any more e-enemies so why don't you just SHUT UP ? The shotgun blast was just a blank , I meant it as a joke,

I do have a brain, but seems like you did the spell wrong. With your spelling mistakes, your pronounciation can't be too good.

Just cut the piffle then.

Keep out of this hellfire.

*Distant Voice: Yeah, keep out of it*

*Waking from drunken stupor* Whaaa? Warfare? Some one haul over me GAU-8....

*hands schnapper TWO GAU-8's and a CheyTac Intervention Sniper-rifle*

*Eats both Gau-8's*

Looks like the natives are getting restless for blood Mein leader... *surreptitiously hands over a basket of ducks heads* winks at Merder and vanishes silently into the night...

Having studied the subject at hand in double-vision, thus learning it twice as well I realize the folly of my choice in weaponry. Looks like someone disrespects my no modern weapons policy. it had growled.

I must say, that CheyTac was most glorious....

But it looks as if this situation calls for the use of darker, more arcane, and a whole lot less safe magicks with massive, fiery explosions, demon horns, scottish accents, kilts and pretty pink lights.

I don't want any more e-enemies so why don't you just SHUT UP ? The shotgun blast was just a blank , I meant it as a joke,

I do have a brain, but seems like you did the spell wrong. With your spelling mistakes, your pronounciation can't be too good.

Just cut the piffle then.

Keep out of this hellfire.

*Distant Voice: Yeah, keep out of it*

*Takes hellfire like a man.* looks like you do have some skill in magic. however before you hit someone on their spelling and such issues keep in mind not everyone here has English as their first language.(in real life i see you different then from this game).

also that is the only problem of being an evil ruler of whatever enemies com and go however none were as troubling as that darned pig-farmer.

Looks like the natives are getting restless for blood Mein leader... *surreptitiously hands over a basket of ducks heads* winks at Merder and vanishes silently into the night...
looks like something needs to be done then. *casts impact blast on duck heads* less what is the best aim *launches Duck-heads with trebuchet*. i hope that teaches them a lesson.

*uses arcane redirection magic and watches the Duck Heads "mysteriously" change direction, only to destroy the trebuchet which launched them*

"darker, more arcane, and a whole lot less safe magicks with massive, fiery explosions, demon horns, scottish accents, kilts and pretty pink lights"
Indeed? In that case, I may have to start using my Warp-Gates.
*summons a horde of Demons, Angry Scotsmen, Animated toys and glowing pink fleshbulbs, which proceed to successfully capture the outer perimeter of merder's fortress*

*summons a horde of Demons, Angry Scotsmen, Animated toys and glowing pink fleshbulbs, which proceed to successfully capture the outer perimeter of merder's fortress*
Impressive display ExDeathvn however i too have some tricks up my sleeves. *summons some hell-spawn including hell-hounds, several Sloars, The Cerberus and some random bad guys from random tv shows.* ok Cerb don't make the mistake again of attacking me or don't any of your heads remember what happened last time?

*looks at Cerberus*
*looks at Cerberus' collar*

Here, boy! *whistles* Go get the bad man who summoned you from my kennel!

Hold that, Ex - I have dicovered means of stopping such a beast: Dante said that by throwing handfuls of dirt into the Cerberus' mouth, he will be rendered harmless, since his mouth is full (Inferno, Canto 6)

Regarding the Sloar, I target it with my home-brew *Icy Tomb* spell. A sad thing for the mighty to be powerless.

*looks at Cerberus*
*looks at Cerberus' collar*

Here, boy! *whistles* Go get the bad man who summoned you from my kennel!

*looks in Cerberus yes* looks like Cerberus didn't like your kennel.
*looks as Cerberus charges ExDeathEvn and Schnapper* if that of the handful of dirt is true for this Cerberus too then he needs some help *orders hell-hounds to attack too.*