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symian's Profile

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symian
Peasant Male United States
 
I am a writer and a business manager, as well as a former webmaster and SysOp.

I am a fan of the Dink Smallwood games and Dmods and have been a supporter of RTSoft products since the BBD age.

Private Message

2016-11-19 10:59:52
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symian
Peasant Male United States
 
I completely understand what you are going through. I've experienced this and more during various times in my life. You are evidently much younger than I am so I can't really tell you or advise you how to deal with being young in these modern times. It was very different when I was younger. Not better or worse, just different.

I agree with Redink1 on his suggestions.

You said you've been seeing a psychologist for years. I do know that if one doctor (of any type) isn't working for you, you have to hunt around until you find one that does. It's frustrating, but if you do find the one that works you for you he/she can help change your life. There are also some short-term medications that can help your brain make permanent changes by giving you a mental experience beyond what you are used to. I am not recommending anything, but for me the 2 medications that helped me see things differently were Citalopram and Trazodone together. I took them for a year and then stopped. They made a marked change in my emotional state and also my mental outlook. I never took Prozac or anything like that and never wanted to.

That being said, I am not fixed and perfect. I am comfortable now with who I am and where I am. I understand now that I will never change suddenly into the person I always thought I'd be or wanted to be. I am what I am. All I can do is make small changes and move myself as far as I can in whatever direction I need to go, even if at first it is painful to do so. The "normal" I always wanted to get to (social and so on), I will never get to. It is simply not my nature - it is just my desire.

For me, not being happy or sad is fine. People who are happy or sad all the time usually end up in a mental institution. Being in the middle, neither happy or sad, just fluctuating between the two, is fine with me. It works for me. Hopefully you can find a way to live your life and not be too much one way or the other.

I do know that boredom is our brain telling us that we need to do something else - even if that something else is not what we want to do.

symian has written 3 reviews

TitleFileTypeScoreDate
Nice, but never completed Shadows of DeathNormalHorrible 2.0November 19th, 2016
Incomplete D-Mod - Miscatagorized Goblin CastleNormalHorrible 0.0November 19th, 2016
A great DinkC editor DinkC EditorFeaturedGood 8.2August 14th, 2010

symian has taken 1 screenshot

ScreenshotFileDate
Preview DinkC EditorAugust 10th, 2010