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March 12th 2006, 12:31 PM
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redink1
King He/Him United States bloop
A mother ducking wizard 
Found an ad for this right here on The Dink Network, and I thought everyone should know about it.

THE TESLA PURPLE ENERGY SHIELD™

"Tesla understood that the cosmic symphony is resonance. Nothing exists in the Universe that does not have harmonic vibration. In realizing this Tesla influenced the production of personal oscillators that vibrate in tune with "the luminiferous ether.""

...

"Aside from delivering vast quantities of new life force energy to the human body... it brings illumination to the mind and tranquillity to the soul."

...

"The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ outer shell is made of aluminium, which is first anodised (electrolytic oxidation) and then colored. The spin of the atoms and electrons of the aluminium is thus changed in such a way, that The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ is said to vibrate in resonance with the fundamental energy (Chi, Prana, Orgon) of the universe."

...

"And so, the use of The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ will eventually raise your frequency rate of angstrom units per second."

...

"The Tesla Purple Energy Shield™ is available at the special introductory price of $89.95 which represents a 50% discount from the regular price of $179.95."

Hmm... I wonder if this also uses Time Cube technology?