The Dink Network

I know this is very basic scripting, but what can I say, I'm a scripting disaster.

I'm kind of stuck how to customize Dnotalk.c succesfully. I tried some things, and some scripts crashed, but now I have this:

//dnotalk.c

void main( void )
{
if (&player_map == 500) {
say("Yeah", 1); }
if (&player_map == 65) {
say("Your momma", 1); }
else {
int &randy = random(5, 1);
if (&randy == 1)
say("I don't see anything interesting.",1);
if (&randy == 2)
say("There isn't much to see here.",1);
if (&randy == 3)
say("What should I look at?",1);
if (&randy == 4)
say("Hmm, perhaps I should look at something.",1);
if (&randy == 5)
say("I see air.",1); }
}

Now, Dink only says "Your momma", and doesn't say "Yeah" when he's in screen 500. Anyone knows how to properly do this? Note that the texts are changed because I might give away something then.

EDIT: This is mu 1212th post on this forum! *does the happy dance*