The Dink Network

If you share your work with others more often it'll help a lot to better your writing. I thought it was mostly good. The "Scare them shitless" line really threw me though. It doesn't feel fitting at all for a narrator that seems to have a vast vocabulary and was using alliteration three times in the line just before it. "Scare them shitless" is far too crass and simplistic for this narrator. Also I'm pretty sure you meant single-handedly and not singe-handedly. Another thing is the "life unflashes" phrase. I understand what you were going for, but I don't think it works. This is mostly because it's just awkward to read. I would look for another way to get the idea across.