The Dink Network

My next best idea is to get a wolf to eat her then. You could also try to find some nice friendly neighbourhood hobos who will let you live with them, they can get internet from public buildings just fine. You could also just find a nice girl/guy like earlier suggested, then just spend all day with her/him, if your mom allows it or you just don't care, you could get comfortable, put on a nice jazz song, and then debate about Pokemon all night with him.