Reply to Re: Crazy Old Tim Plays All the D-Mods of 2010
If you don't have an account, just leave the password field blank.
323: Smallwood-Man! (Unfinished) Author: Skorn Release Date: August 9, 2010
"I see you are still kinda an asshole."
"Smallwood-Man!" shows the most promise out of the three D-Mods released by High Fructose Skorn Syrup, and definitely has the most content. Still, it's seriously unfinished. Like "Icelands," it feels like development stopped at a random point, and no effort was made to clean it up for release.
Dink is a major-league asshole in this D-Mod. He owns slaves! He's a huge dick to them, but he's almost as big of a dick to people he doesn't own, so I guess that's to be expected. Dink finds out that his garden has been infested with pillbugs. After he yells at a female slave for not taking care of the problem herself, you have to kill them. One of the pillbugs moves really fast, but it's otherwise normal. After you kill the pillbugs, you get a huge stat boost - attack becomes 55 and defense 25. Apparently this was a rare kind of pillbug, previously thought extinct, that makes you super buff after you kill them. Well, okay.
Dink doesn't feel much remorse about potentially killing the last member of a pillbug species.
There isn't a lot to do after that. There's a pretty sizable new area you can travel to, but the only thing that feels like a plot event is a wizard who steals your newfound strength away. After you've met him, there's nothing to do but wander around. There isn't an ending, not even a "there's nothing more to see" type text. Like "Icelands," it's just a stub of a D-Mod, but at least there's more to see and do this time around.
It does have some nice points. The mapping looks pretty interesting. The seasonal trees from "Cycles of Evil" add a bit of color. GOKUSSJ6's wood status bar is used. The enemies have healthbars, an elegant effect that I sure wouldn't mind seeing become the standard (not knowing how long it's gonna take to kill something is annoying). Dink's jerkery can be kind of funny. There are some great MIDIs used.
Those pillbugs are healthy. Better fix that!
Boy, is this ever buggy and unfinished, though. The intro replays every time you visit the starting screen. Hardness errors are common and often extreme - there are whole walls you can just walk right through. Sprites with depth dots that make no sense are more common than not. Just by talking to the arms dealer, you automatically get two swords. The stronger one does nothing but make quacking noises when you try to attack with it, but the value in its arm procedure is higher than the one in its disarm procedure, so you can get as much strength as you want by arming it over and over again. A couple of screens lack borders where the map was left unfinished. There's a screen that locks when you enter it but doesn't allow you to reach the enemy, leaving you stuck. One screen contains an object that has a note from the author to himself, reminding him to add a second floor to the building. There's an NPC who leaves you frozen if you try to talk to him.
The gnome is quoting a Christopher Lloyd line from the movie Suburban Commando, but he might also be warning you about what happened when he tried to talk to the guy at the middle table.
"Smallwood-Man" isn't in a very playable state, and there's not much to do anyway, but it's still the best of the D-Mods released by Skorn. It might have been worth recommending if it had been finished.
--
During the considerable gap between "Smallwood-Man" and "Pinky the Pig," RTSoft released Dink Smallwood HD, also known as Dink Smallwood version 1.09, for iPhone, Android, Windows and Macintosh computers. Seth even got original Dink artist Justin Martin to do some new graphics for the interface and such. Dink HD has new features including autosave, quicksave and the ability to speed up the game by holding the tab key, a fantastic feature that made it into FreeDink, where I use it all the time.
Because the hated tyrants at Apple have declared enjoyment and fun to be their sworn enemies, the iPhone version initially had no support for D-Mods, but it was added later. (Does it still support D-Mods? I'm unclear on this.)
It's cool that Dink is now available on phones and tablets, and although Mac users could already play the game using FreeDink, Dink HD seems to be the most popular way to play the game on that platform because it's on the Mac App Store. Windows users, on the other hand, seem to have stuck with either the original or FreeDink for the most part. This is because Dink HD has compatibility problems with some D-Mods.
It's hard to tell what these compatibility problems are, exactly. There's no list of the exact differences between versions that cause problems. Nobody has really gone through and determined which D-Mods have problems in Dink HD either, so you're kind of rolling the dice by choosing to play a D-Mod with that version. Lately, I've tried to make sure that my D-Mods work in Dink HD, but for a while they didn't and I had no idea why. I also miss the gamepad support, which isn't present in Dink HD.
There's another massive D-Mod project out there for anybody who wants to take it on - play all the D-Mods, but in Dink HD. You'll have an easier time than me - instead of having to write about them all, you'll only have to note where and how they don't work.
--
324: Pinky the Pig Author: JugglingDink Release Date: December 21, 2010
"Pigs are not Christmassy!"
Wow, it's another Christmas D-Mod! Seems like there are a bunch of these.
"Pinky the Pig" is a hilarious little romp. I laughed so hard. It just commits so fully to its ludicrous premise. Funniest D-Mod of 2010.
Probably the biggest laugh I had was just at the sight of Santa. I mean... LOOK at him!
After an odd intro in which the Dink Engine doesn't want to behave because it's a lazy hippy, Martridge magically kidnaps Dink in order to force him to cheer up his pig, Pinky. Pinky becomes sad every year at Christmastime, and nobody knows why because pigs can't talk. You might think that Marty could magically read the sow's mind or something, but no such luck. Poor Dink is stuck spending his Christmas Eve trying to find a way to talk to pigs. Dink asks the locals for help and ends up going to see Santa to ask for a Pig-to-English dictionary.
By the way, this is only the second D-Mod to use dnotalk.c to change the default "talking to nothing" text. Dink says Christmassy things now instead of declaring that he's bored or that he doesn't see anything here. He'll even randomly belt out a line from Mariah Carey's megahit Christmas single, "All I Want for Christmas is You."
Dink tenderly serenades Pinky. It doesn't help.
Speaking of Christmas songs, I must admit that I had trouble sitting through the MIDIs in this one. The "Jingle Bell Rock" MIDI used in most of the D-Mod was fun at first, but began to grate after a while. The "Frosty the Snowman" MIDI used in the North Pole area, however, is torture. Just torture.
There are several steps Dink has to go through to bring Pinky some Christmas cheer, but mostly it boils down to going around and talking to everybody. There are a couple of parts where you have to wade through some pillbugs (they declare that Dink will be their Christmas feast), but you can mostly ignore them or kill them easily. For a D-Mod about going around and talking to people, though, it's well-done. Everybody has something new to say at each new point in the story, and it's worth talking to everybody each time to see Dink, who seems to be kind of odd in the head, troll the townsfolk. I particularly enjoyed talking to people right after getting the Pig dictionary. Dink tries out his best Pig phrases on everybody for some reason.
Dink:I was definately not oinking, you must be going insane
Old Guy: Again? It was bad enough the first time! Oh well...
It turns out that Pinky is sad because nobody pays attention to her on Christmas, and she doesn't get any decorations. You have to find her some baubles, a tree, and a male pig to be her companion. It's an easy enough request to accommodate.
Dink: friend to pigs everywhere.
I just have to quote some more of the dialogue. One of my favorite exchanges comes when Dink, who requires a magical stone to get to Santa, has to ask a vicar for help. The vicar wants Dink to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, but Dink decides to see if there's any way he can reduce the number of steps involved.
Dink: Is that the only way you'll give me the stone?
Vicar: I'm afraid so, child
Dink: What if I killed you and stole the stone?
Vicar: I'm afraid that would be quite pointless, as I can not die
Dink: Aw... Seriously?
Vicar: Yes, the lord protects me and keeps me well
Dink: I suppose I'd better start wishing everyone a merry Christmas then, hadn't I?
I love how... pragmatic this whole exchange is. Dink's all like, but what if I kill you? And he's all like, nope, I don't have any hitpoints. And Dink's all bummed out and has to go get festive.
Honestly, I think the locals would rather he didn't.
I highly recommend "Pinky the Pig" for a good laugh. It won't take up much of your time. There's only 39 screens. If you don't feel like playing it now, give it a shot during the holidays.
--
Well, that's 2010 in the bag. There were some substantial D-Mods that year! "Three Amulets," "Grasp of Darkness," "The River" and especially "Historical Hero" were quite beefy. Quite a few of the romps were on the more substantial side of that spectrum as well. 2007 may have had a lot of D-Mods released, but many of them were extremely short; I think that 2010 definitely had more total D-Mod content.
As of right now, there are 28 D-Mods left to cover. See you soon for those.
"I see you are still kinda an asshole."
"Smallwood-Man!" shows the most promise out of the three D-Mods released by High Fructose Skorn Syrup, and definitely has the most content. Still, it's seriously unfinished. Like "Icelands," it feels like development stopped at a random point, and no effort was made to clean it up for release.
Dink is a major-league asshole in this D-Mod. He owns slaves! He's a huge dick to them, but he's almost as big of a dick to people he doesn't own, so I guess that's to be expected. Dink finds out that his garden has been infested with pillbugs. After he yells at a female slave for not taking care of the problem herself, you have to kill them. One of the pillbugs moves really fast, but it's otherwise normal. After you kill the pillbugs, you get a huge stat boost - attack becomes 55 and defense 25. Apparently this was a rare kind of pillbug, previously thought extinct, that makes you super buff after you kill them. Well, okay.
Dink doesn't feel much remorse about potentially killing the last member of a pillbug species.
There isn't a lot to do after that. There's a pretty sizable new area you can travel to, but the only thing that feels like a plot event is a wizard who steals your newfound strength away. After you've met him, there's nothing to do but wander around. There isn't an ending, not even a "there's nothing more to see" type text. Like "Icelands," it's just a stub of a D-Mod, but at least there's more to see and do this time around.
It does have some nice points. The mapping looks pretty interesting. The seasonal trees from "Cycles of Evil" add a bit of color. GOKUSSJ6's wood status bar is used. The enemies have healthbars, an elegant effect that I sure wouldn't mind seeing become the standard (not knowing how long it's gonna take to kill something is annoying). Dink's jerkery can be kind of funny. There are some great MIDIs used.
Those pillbugs are healthy. Better fix that!
Boy, is this ever buggy and unfinished, though. The intro replays every time you visit the starting screen. Hardness errors are common and often extreme - there are whole walls you can just walk right through. Sprites with depth dots that make no sense are more common than not. Just by talking to the arms dealer, you automatically get two swords. The stronger one does nothing but make quacking noises when you try to attack with it, but the value in its arm procedure is higher than the one in its disarm procedure, so you can get as much strength as you want by arming it over and over again. A couple of screens lack borders where the map was left unfinished. There's a screen that locks when you enter it but doesn't allow you to reach the enemy, leaving you stuck. One screen contains an object that has a note from the author to himself, reminding him to add a second floor to the building. There's an NPC who leaves you frozen if you try to talk to him.
The gnome is quoting a Christopher Lloyd line from the movie Suburban Commando, but he might also be warning you about what happened when he tried to talk to the guy at the middle table.
"Smallwood-Man" isn't in a very playable state, and there's not much to do anyway, but it's still the best of the D-Mods released by Skorn. It might have been worth recommending if it had been finished.
--
During the considerable gap between "Smallwood-Man" and "Pinky the Pig," RTSoft released Dink Smallwood HD, also known as Dink Smallwood version 1.09, for iPhone, Android, Windows and Macintosh computers. Seth even got original Dink artist Justin Martin to do some new graphics for the interface and such. Dink HD has new features including autosave, quicksave and the ability to speed up the game by holding the tab key, a fantastic feature that made it into FreeDink, where I use it all the time.
Because the hated tyrants at Apple have declared enjoyment and fun to be their sworn enemies, the iPhone version initially had no support for D-Mods, but it was added later. (Does it still support D-Mods? I'm unclear on this.)
It's cool that Dink is now available on phones and tablets, and although Mac users could already play the game using FreeDink, Dink HD seems to be the most popular way to play the game on that platform because it's on the Mac App Store. Windows users, on the other hand, seem to have stuck with either the original or FreeDink for the most part. This is because Dink HD has compatibility problems with some D-Mods.
It's hard to tell what these compatibility problems are, exactly. There's no list of the exact differences between versions that cause problems. Nobody has really gone through and determined which D-Mods have problems in Dink HD either, so you're kind of rolling the dice by choosing to play a D-Mod with that version. Lately, I've tried to make sure that my D-Mods work in Dink HD, but for a while they didn't and I had no idea why. I also miss the gamepad support, which isn't present in Dink HD.
There's another massive D-Mod project out there for anybody who wants to take it on - play all the D-Mods, but in Dink HD. You'll have an easier time than me - instead of having to write about them all, you'll only have to note where and how they don't work.
--
324: Pinky the Pig Author: JugglingDink Release Date: December 21, 2010
"Pigs are not Christmassy!"
Wow, it's another Christmas D-Mod! Seems like there are a bunch of these.
"Pinky the Pig" is a hilarious little romp. I laughed so hard. It just commits so fully to its ludicrous premise. Funniest D-Mod of 2010.
Probably the biggest laugh I had was just at the sight of Santa. I mean... LOOK at him!
After an odd intro in which the Dink Engine doesn't want to behave because it's a lazy hippy, Martridge magically kidnaps Dink in order to force him to cheer up his pig, Pinky. Pinky becomes sad every year at Christmastime, and nobody knows why because pigs can't talk. You might think that Marty could magically read the sow's mind or something, but no such luck. Poor Dink is stuck spending his Christmas Eve trying to find a way to talk to pigs. Dink asks the locals for help and ends up going to see Santa to ask for a Pig-to-English dictionary.
By the way, this is only the second D-Mod to use dnotalk.c to change the default "talking to nothing" text. Dink says Christmassy things now instead of declaring that he's bored or that he doesn't see anything here. He'll even randomly belt out a line from Mariah Carey's megahit Christmas single, "All I Want for Christmas is You."
Dink tenderly serenades Pinky. It doesn't help.
Speaking of Christmas songs, I must admit that I had trouble sitting through the MIDIs in this one. The "Jingle Bell Rock" MIDI used in most of the D-Mod was fun at first, but began to grate after a while. The "Frosty the Snowman" MIDI used in the North Pole area, however, is torture. Just torture.
There are several steps Dink has to go through to bring Pinky some Christmas cheer, but mostly it boils down to going around and talking to everybody. There are a couple of parts where you have to wade through some pillbugs (they declare that Dink will be their Christmas feast), but you can mostly ignore them or kill them easily. For a D-Mod about going around and talking to people, though, it's well-done. Everybody has something new to say at each new point in the story, and it's worth talking to everybody each time to see Dink, who seems to be kind of odd in the head, troll the townsfolk. I particularly enjoyed talking to people right after getting the Pig dictionary. Dink tries out his best Pig phrases on everybody for some reason.
Dink:I was definately not oinking, you must be going insane
Old Guy: Again? It was bad enough the first time! Oh well...
It turns out that Pinky is sad because nobody pays attention to her on Christmas, and she doesn't get any decorations. You have to find her some baubles, a tree, and a male pig to be her companion. It's an easy enough request to accommodate.
Dink: friend to pigs everywhere.
I just have to quote some more of the dialogue. One of my favorite exchanges comes when Dink, who requires a magical stone to get to Santa, has to ask a vicar for help. The vicar wants Dink to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, but Dink decides to see if there's any way he can reduce the number of steps involved.
Dink: Is that the only way you'll give me the stone?
Vicar: I'm afraid so, child
Dink: What if I killed you and stole the stone?
Vicar: I'm afraid that would be quite pointless, as I can not die
Dink: Aw... Seriously?
Vicar: Yes, the lord protects me and keeps me well
Dink: I suppose I'd better start wishing everyone a merry Christmas then, hadn't I?
I love how... pragmatic this whole exchange is. Dink's all like, but what if I kill you? And he's all like, nope, I don't have any hitpoints. And Dink's all bummed out and has to go get festive.
Honestly, I think the locals would rather he didn't.
I highly recommend "Pinky the Pig" for a good laugh. It won't take up much of your time. There's only 39 screens. If you don't feel like playing it now, give it a shot during the holidays.
--
Well, that's 2010 in the bag. There were some substantial D-Mods that year! "Three Amulets," "Grasp of Darkness," "The River" and especially "Historical Hero" were quite beefy. Quite a few of the romps were on the more substantial side of that spectrum as well. 2007 may have had a lot of D-Mods released, but many of them were extremely short; I think that 2010 definitely had more total D-Mod content.
As of right now, there are 28 D-Mods left to cover. See you soon for those.
