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253: The Lost Amulet Author: Carrie Ann Burton Release Date: April 2, 2007
"Oww! Ewok hater!"
"The Lost Amulet" follows the same very simple pattern as Carrie's other DMODs, except that you're not playing as that lame old Dink Smallwood guy. You are... Dinkorro!
A hero! A man's man! Dinkorro!
Dink in a silly Zorro costume, complete with rapier. It's so ridiculous, you have to like it. This graphic was actually released back in 2006. It's good for a laugh with that cute little cape. Dink does jitter a bit when walking from side to side with the rapier equipped.
Dinkorro (it's a better name than Zorrink, I'll say that much) is commanded by the angel Raphael to retrieve an amulet he has lost. He soon tracks it down to one of those pesky elves of Rathor. Along the way, he encounters a treetop village full of Ewoks (why not?) and has a fun boat ride.
These dandelion huts with grass growing over them are interesting. The decoration in this mod is really eye-catching.
I love this treetop village! What a neat idea.
Once again, it's just a case of find the boss, kill the boss, and return, but great gameplay doesn't really seem to be the point of Carrie's mods. They just each provide an amusing new little world for Dink to mess around in. Given how similar many DMODs are, I am totally fine with this.
I was amused by some of the MIDI selections, including "The Tide Is High" and "More Than a Feeling," but unfortunately, you don't really get the time to listen to them. The exception is Dinkorro's rowboat singalongs, where you get plenty of time to watch our hero enthusiastically sing "YMCA" and his own self-aggrandizing version of "Row, row, row your boat."
There are some of Rabidwolf9's wasps in the dandelion village, but they don't seem to have a special (attack) frame set, so they can't really hurt you. There's a casino in the Ewok village, but you can find all the money to buy the only thing you might want (the rapier) in barrels anyway.
One thing that kind of bothered me is that you're required to proceed through a gap in the trees that is really difficult to tell is a gap. I didn't get stuck, since an NPC tells you to go east, but it wouldn't surprise me if somebody did.
Here's the gap in question. Carrie also made these strange blue pillbugs. They look like gel capsule medicine. I expect them to ooze a dark blue liquid when you poke them.
The joke's on Dink - excuse me, Dinkorro - in the end, as the angel wanted the amulet so that he could bring about Armageddon. Whoooops! (sad trombone plays)
254: Honor of the Cast: The Honor's Time Author: Skull Release Date: April 4, 2007
"Honor??? I didn't know that Cast have honor..."
REPUTATION NOTE: This DMOD is part of the incredibly select group to have a rating of less than 1.0 (0.5) on The Dink Network.
Four days after the previous one, we're back. I'm not surprised; it doesn't take long to make this kind of thing. I speak from experience.
At this point, the jig was already up on Skull's duplicate accounts, as he uploaded this under his main account. He tried to claim that Slime "asked" him to upload it, but nobody was buying it. The IP addresses were all the same, after all.
Again, there's really nothing to do. Again, the "Cloud Castle" map is included but not used. SabreTrout and Arik's email addresses have even been left in the readme.
Dink cussed a swear!
Continuing from the previous installment, Dink tracks the Cast to some kind of hideout of theirs, I guess. There's a cutscene with more of that weird text attribution. All it does is add confusion. How am I supposed to know which Cast Knight is speaking?
Anyway, The Cast soldiers somehow summon a fence to block Dink and turn into boncas (actually, both of these things are accomplished by changing the screen without a fade). At this point, you naturally think, "Finally, a battle you actually have to fight. Obviously the fence will go away when you win, or something like that." You aren't really given sufficient strength to fight the boncas, but it's still easy enough to win if you get them to fight each other. Of course, this accomplishes nothing. What you actually have to do is walk through a part of the fence that isn't hard for some reason. I guess the Cast are fans of security measures that don't work.
Also, the status bar is never properly redrawn after the cutscene.
There are a couple more screens that you can safely ignore, and then another cutscene. Having a proper ending is certainly an improvement over the previous installment, so Skull gets some points for that. Dink saves a girl, but the Cast kill the rest of their captives, including Charlie, by making them burst into flame somehow. Those old meany heads!
I laughed out loud at this line. But damn it, I'd be in my angers too.
Dink isn't about to take this lying down. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of "Honor of the Cast!"
255: Honor of the Cast: The March of Army Author: Skull Release Date: April 22, 2007
"Water? Noobs drink water! Are you kid? Lol"
Previously, on "Honor of the Cast..."
Captain Cast soldier: You don't have anything, if you are good, anymore...
Dink: Arh....!
Captain Cast soldier: Turn to Cast soldier!!
And now, the conclusion.
--
No prizes for guessing which DMOD by SabreTrout and Arik has its entire map included in this DMOD. I am amazed - flabbergasted, really - that Skull didn't get a clue about this by this point. It seems he finally got it shortly afterward, promising SabreTrout that he wouldn't use his map anymore in the news thread for "The Honor's Time" several days after releasing this one. So this should be the last we see of phantom "Cloud Castle" maps... hopefully.
You might think that I'm automatically handing out these Awards of Badness to all of Skull's DMODs - this is not so. I genuinely hoped not to give it to this one when I saw that it had a large number of scripts (unsurprisingly, it turns out that most of them are from "Cloud Castle") and may have had a somewhat longer development time. I didn't expect it to be any good, but I thought I'd be able to give the DFMAOB a break - my standards for it are so low. But this DMOD doesn't work at all. I don't even know what to make of this.
It begins with the strangest introduction a DMOD has ever had. On a black screen, Dink immediately walks left into the wall and furiously walks in place at the edge of the screen as a narrator talks about the exciting cliffhanger from the previous installment. There's a fade down, and some MS Paint white ellipses appear. Then it fades back up. Yep, they're white ellipses, all right. Dink continues to walk into the side of the screen as hard as he can.
What.
It fades back down, and the pattern of dots changes, then it fades back up. It does all of this one more time before moving on to the plot. This takes quite a while to happen, and there's no dialogue or anything. I couldn't believe or understand what I was seeing. What the Hell is this supposed to be? It was like I was watching a terrible experimental film by a pretentious college student.
It gets a bit more normal after that. We see Dink being held prisoner at a Cast camp. He has refused to join their army (or "turn into a Cast soldier" as the game puts it). I don't understand at all how he goes from being held at the point of an axe and told to join the Cast to being free to wander around as he does when the game starts.
You guys think you have Dink captive, but look! He's still walking furiously against that screen edge. Walk on, Dink. Maybe this represents Dink's spirit, running free as his body is held prisoner.
By the way, that is a remarkably alive carcass you've got there.
This DMOD is a mess. Right at the start, you're supposed to get some wizards some vodka (here, "vodga") for some reason. This involves an odd puzzle in which the booze seller refuses to sell alcohol to Dink unless he's frustrated, so Dink has to go hit something to become frustrated (call me crazy, but this does not sound like the smartest of alcohol-selling policies). That's all well and good, but the script for the wizards doesn't work. They never send you off to the next part of the game like they're supposed to when you give them their "vodga." An unavoidable, fatal bug this early on practically earns the DFMAOB by itself.
The wizards have catheters? No wonder they never seem to move.
A Greek hero by the name of dinkinfreak posted a Fixed version of the script that allowed me to continue. Unfortunately, it didn't fix an additional bug in which you're left frozen if you select the "leave" option in the conversation. There are multiple bugs of this type in the DMOD.
That was the biggest problem I ran into, but far from the only one. Hardness errors are common, and screens are matched very poorly. I constantly ended up walking through walls without even trying. Some of the later enemies (yes, you have to fight enemies in this one) are unreasonably difficult. The Cast Knights in this DMOD are quite tough because their range is much longer than Dink's, but I managed to handle them until I got to a series of screens where you have to fight knights without having enough room to dodge their attacks. I had to cheat to get by.
This ain't happening, folks. Sure, I can get past one screen like this, but there are five in a row.
Still, "March of Army" would have avoided the DFMAOB if it weren't so broken. Like I said, the bar is low, and this would clear it if it worked. It feels quite a bit more like an actual DMOD - it's a reasonable length, there are a reasonable number of screens, there are real NPCs to talk to and there are real monsters to fight. There's an attempt made to tell a story - something about a coming war between the Cast and the rest of humanity. It's still quite bad, but it's a step in the right direction.
"Oww! Ewok hater!"
"The Lost Amulet" follows the same very simple pattern as Carrie's other DMODs, except that you're not playing as that lame old Dink Smallwood guy. You are... Dinkorro!
A hero! A man's man! Dinkorro!
Dink in a silly Zorro costume, complete with rapier. It's so ridiculous, you have to like it. This graphic was actually released back in 2006. It's good for a laugh with that cute little cape. Dink does jitter a bit when walking from side to side with the rapier equipped.
Dinkorro (it's a better name than Zorrink, I'll say that much) is commanded by the angel Raphael to retrieve an amulet he has lost. He soon tracks it down to one of those pesky elves of Rathor. Along the way, he encounters a treetop village full of Ewoks (why not?) and has a fun boat ride.
These dandelion huts with grass growing over them are interesting. The decoration in this mod is really eye-catching.
I love this treetop village! What a neat idea.
Once again, it's just a case of find the boss, kill the boss, and return, but great gameplay doesn't really seem to be the point of Carrie's mods. They just each provide an amusing new little world for Dink to mess around in. Given how similar many DMODs are, I am totally fine with this.
I was amused by some of the MIDI selections, including "The Tide Is High" and "More Than a Feeling," but unfortunately, you don't really get the time to listen to them. The exception is Dinkorro's rowboat singalongs, where you get plenty of time to watch our hero enthusiastically sing "YMCA" and his own self-aggrandizing version of "Row, row, row your boat."
There are some of Rabidwolf9's wasps in the dandelion village, but they don't seem to have a special (attack) frame set, so they can't really hurt you. There's a casino in the Ewok village, but you can find all the money to buy the only thing you might want (the rapier) in barrels anyway.
One thing that kind of bothered me is that you're required to proceed through a gap in the trees that is really difficult to tell is a gap. I didn't get stuck, since an NPC tells you to go east, but it wouldn't surprise me if somebody did.
Here's the gap in question. Carrie also made these strange blue pillbugs. They look like gel capsule medicine. I expect them to ooze a dark blue liquid when you poke them.
The joke's on Dink - excuse me, Dinkorro - in the end, as the angel wanted the amulet so that he could bring about Armageddon. Whoooops! (sad trombone plays)
254: Honor of the Cast: The Honor's Time Author: Skull Release Date: April 4, 2007
"Honor??? I didn't know that Cast have honor..."
REPUTATION NOTE: This DMOD is part of the incredibly select group to have a rating of less than 1.0 (0.5) on The Dink Network.
Four days after the previous one, we're back. I'm not surprised; it doesn't take long to make this kind of thing. I speak from experience.
At this point, the jig was already up on Skull's duplicate accounts, as he uploaded this under his main account. He tried to claim that Slime "asked" him to upload it, but nobody was buying it. The IP addresses were all the same, after all.
*This DMOD, "Honor of the Cast: The Honor's Time,"* ********Has been awarded the prestigious********* ****DINK FOREVER MEMORIAL AWARD OF BADNESS***** ********On this day December 5, 2014*********
Again, there's really nothing to do. Again, the "Cloud Castle" map is included but not used. SabreTrout and Arik's email addresses have even been left in the readme.
Dink cussed a swear!
Continuing from the previous installment, Dink tracks the Cast to some kind of hideout of theirs, I guess. There's a cutscene with more of that weird text attribution. All it does is add confusion. How am I supposed to know which Cast Knight is speaking?
Anyway, The Cast soldiers somehow summon a fence to block Dink and turn into boncas (actually, both of these things are accomplished by changing the screen without a fade). At this point, you naturally think, "Finally, a battle you actually have to fight. Obviously the fence will go away when you win, or something like that." You aren't really given sufficient strength to fight the boncas, but it's still easy enough to win if you get them to fight each other. Of course, this accomplishes nothing. What you actually have to do is walk through a part of the fence that isn't hard for some reason. I guess the Cast are fans of security measures that don't work.
Also, the status bar is never properly redrawn after the cutscene.
There are a couple more screens that you can safely ignore, and then another cutscene. Having a proper ending is certainly an improvement over the previous installment, so Skull gets some points for that. Dink saves a girl, but the Cast kill the rest of their captives, including Charlie, by making them burst into flame somehow. Those old meany heads!
I laughed out loud at this line. But damn it, I'd be in my angers too.
Dink isn't about to take this lying down. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of "Honor of the Cast!"
255: Honor of the Cast: The March of Army Author: Skull Release Date: April 22, 2007
"Water? Noobs drink water! Are you kid? Lol"
Previously, on "Honor of the Cast..."
Captain Cast soldier: You don't have anything, if you are good, anymore...
Dink: Arh....!
Captain Cast soldier: Turn to Cast soldier!!
And now, the conclusion.
--
No prizes for guessing which DMOD by SabreTrout and Arik has its entire map included in this DMOD. I am amazed - flabbergasted, really - that Skull didn't get a clue about this by this point. It seems he finally got it shortly afterward, promising SabreTrout that he wouldn't use his map anymore in the news thread for "The Honor's Time" several days after releasing this one. So this should be the last we see of phantom "Cloud Castle" maps... hopefully.
**********This DMOD, "The March of Army,"********** ********Has been awarded the prestigious********* ****DINK FOREVER MEMORIAL AWARD OF BADNESS***** ********On this day December 5, 2014*********
You might think that I'm automatically handing out these Awards of Badness to all of Skull's DMODs - this is not so. I genuinely hoped not to give it to this one when I saw that it had a large number of scripts (unsurprisingly, it turns out that most of them are from "Cloud Castle") and may have had a somewhat longer development time. I didn't expect it to be any good, but I thought I'd be able to give the DFMAOB a break - my standards for it are so low. But this DMOD doesn't work at all. I don't even know what to make of this.
It begins with the strangest introduction a DMOD has ever had. On a black screen, Dink immediately walks left into the wall and furiously walks in place at the edge of the screen as a narrator talks about the exciting cliffhanger from the previous installment. There's a fade down, and some MS Paint white ellipses appear. Then it fades back up. Yep, they're white ellipses, all right. Dink continues to walk into the side of the screen as hard as he can.
What.
It fades back down, and the pattern of dots changes, then it fades back up. It does all of this one more time before moving on to the plot. This takes quite a while to happen, and there's no dialogue or anything. I couldn't believe or understand what I was seeing. What the Hell is this supposed to be? It was like I was watching a terrible experimental film by a pretentious college student.
It gets a bit more normal after that. We see Dink being held prisoner at a Cast camp. He has refused to join their army (or "turn into a Cast soldier" as the game puts it). I don't understand at all how he goes from being held at the point of an axe and told to join the Cast to being free to wander around as he does when the game starts.
You guys think you have Dink captive, but look! He's still walking furiously against that screen edge. Walk on, Dink. Maybe this represents Dink's spirit, running free as his body is held prisoner.
By the way, that is a remarkably alive carcass you've got there.
This DMOD is a mess. Right at the start, you're supposed to get some wizards some vodka (here, "vodga") for some reason. This involves an odd puzzle in which the booze seller refuses to sell alcohol to Dink unless he's frustrated, so Dink has to go hit something to become frustrated (call me crazy, but this does not sound like the smartest of alcohol-selling policies). That's all well and good, but the script for the wizards doesn't work. They never send you off to the next part of the game like they're supposed to when you give them their "vodga." An unavoidable, fatal bug this early on practically earns the DFMAOB by itself.
The wizards have catheters? No wonder they never seem to move.
A Greek hero by the name of dinkinfreak posted a Fixed version of the script that allowed me to continue. Unfortunately, it didn't fix an additional bug in which you're left frozen if you select the "leave" option in the conversation. There are multiple bugs of this type in the DMOD.
That was the biggest problem I ran into, but far from the only one. Hardness errors are common, and screens are matched very poorly. I constantly ended up walking through walls without even trying. Some of the later enemies (yes, you have to fight enemies in this one) are unreasonably difficult. The Cast Knights in this DMOD are quite tough because their range is much longer than Dink's, but I managed to handle them until I got to a series of screens where you have to fight knights without having enough room to dodge their attacks. I had to cheat to get by.
This ain't happening, folks. Sure, I can get past one screen like this, but there are five in a row.
Still, "March of Army" would have avoided the DFMAOB if it weren't so broken. Like I said, the bar is low, and this would clear it if it worked. It feels quite a bit more like an actual DMOD - it's a reasonable length, there are a reasonable number of screens, there are real NPCs to talk to and there are real monsters to fight. There's an attempt made to tell a story - something about a coming war between the Cast and the rest of humanity. It's still quite bad, but it's a step in the right direction.
