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June 13th 2014, 11:41 PM
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Cocomonkey
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
136: Darkspace Derelict (Unfinished) Author: Jonaton Pöljö (Eldron) Release Date: October 27, 2002

"Surrealism is beautiful."

Following "Quest of Glandor," this release continues the trend of releasing mods that were barely even started. Amazingly, there's even less to do in this one - you really can't do anything at all except walk around two screens. However, this one makes a bit more sense as a release (and barely avoids the Award of Badness) because it functions as a graphics pack if nothing else.

The background stuff is pretty nice, but the main character isn't very good. He looks like a faceless American football player, and looks worse in motion than he does in screenshots. The animations look fluid enough, but the actual way that the character moves makes no sense. He appears to be dragging one leg behind him and constantly thrusting his palms out as if asking for change. He doesn't have any animations other than the walk, either - no punch, push or even idle, making him pretty weak as a player character.

If you care to look in the DMOD's folder, there are some extras. The blend files for the graphics are included, and there are a couple of rather nice original songs in .wav format. Really, I can't say much else. This kind of release doesn't give me much to work with. "Derelict" is right, ha ha!

Sorry.

137: Fighterz (Neglected) Authors: Travis Kirsten (Trav666), SabreTrout Release Date: October 30, 2002

"A bunch of levels where you hit things!"

The dmod.diz claims, "Sabretrout also helped in the making, but he asked not to recieve credit," which is singularly odd. Go ahead and give him credit right as you tell us he didn't want any. That makes so much sense.

This DMOD follows the same basic idea as "Monster House" - fight all the enemies in sequence - but it's executed much more competently here. It could still be done much better, but I had an okay time.

"Fighterz" starts in very amusing fashion, if you have a certain sense of humor. It's trying to be so gosh darn serious at the start, with lines (that overlap each other) like "the five greatest warriors were gathered" and "this is the final battle," but it is just SO silly.

You can play as one of five different characters: Dink, a wizard, a knight, a goblin and Dink with a bow. Playing as the wizard is a bad idea, because the fireball and acid rain spells you're given won't be strong enough to get you through the later enemies. The bow comes with bow lore, and the bow script seems to have been altered slightly to make the arrows travel faster. This might seem to be the way to go, but the bow struggles with the slime level. Trying to hit a whole mess of tiny, crazy fast slimes with the bow was probably the most frustrating experience I've had with Dink since "9 Gems of Life 2," or at least "Okaly-D Dink" (which isn't that frustrating, I just sucked at it). If you pick regular Dink, he comes with a boomerang, and this is the neatest thing about the DMOD. It uses the same boomerang graphics that have been around since the early days, but here we finally have a boomerang that comes back to you after you throw it. This is really a great addition to the game, as you can figure out the distance at which the boomerang turns around and use that to do plenty of damage to foes from afar. Unfortunately, the boomerang will only damage the first four sets of enemies. Also, if the boomerang misses you on its return trip, it'll get stuck on hardness and spin there forever.

There are seven levels, each with just one type of enemy. The levels have names, which is a touch that I appreciated. The levels are as follows:

1: Pillbug Plains
2: Bonca Beach (Buggy - the first bonca you kill per screen will release screenlock)
3: Slayer Snowdrift
4: Slime Swamp
5: CaveTroll Caverns (Stone Giants)
6: Dragon Dungeons
7: Mog Marshes (actually just Hammer Goblins)

Some of the MIDI choices were hilarious. I almost cried picturing pillbugs singing "I'm the skatman" or slimes belting out "Gangsta's Paradise."

The levels themselves are quite plain. All of them except Mog Marshes are just a straight shot from left to right. On the other hand, it's still more interesting than Monster House, and if you look at it in the editor, it looks like a layer cake. The game can get pretty tough, especially at the end, because health restoratives are rare after the first couple of areas. It took me several tries to finally beat Mog Marshes. All I got for my trouble was the words "Well done!" The game fails to fade up, so I didn't know that I could have a little congratulatory conversation with the old man from the start of the DMOD. I wasn't missing a lot anyway.

If you just want to beat up a bunch of monsters... you could probably still do better, honestly. But I didn't hate "Fighterz." Hooray!

Next: Pilgrim's Quest.