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June 2nd 2014, 04:53 PM
custom_coco.gif
Cocomonkey
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
126: The Search for the Treasure Author: Vilius Tamošiūnas Release Date: July 25, 2002

"If you are searching treasure, there is nothing"

dang it, how many times am I going to get punked like this?

*****This DMOD, "The Search for the Treasure,"*****
 ********Has been awarded the prestigious*********
  ****DINK FOREVER MEMORIAL AWARD OF BADNESS*****
   **********On this day June 2, 2014***********


If you want to know the truth, there's nothing here. I spent less time on this than I did on any other DMOD that could at all be described as 'functioning.'

There is a conversation you can have at the start that amused me slightly - not because it's clever, but because it's so awkward and contains the word 'treasure' so many times:

Dink: Hello
Man: Do you want to find treasure?
Dink: Yeah!!
Man: well, you see, i was reading books, and found a page about treasure

...

Man: Ok, but remember, there are a great monster guarding treasure...
Dink: I will get that treasure!
The greater monster the greater treasure!I gonna be RICH!!


Yeah, I cut some of it out. It wasn't nearly as amusing as I remembered. Vilius, you're no Timo.

Dink then takes a walk through the spritely woods for way too many screens, only to find a sign stating that there's no treasure. And that's it. Opening the DMOD in WinDinkEdit, I found a screen with a pillbug and a lot of coins, but I couldn't find a way to get to it. There are a couple of scripts attached to sprites there to the effect that the huge pile of gold coins is fake, but there's one real gold coin you can find - this is the treasure. And that's it.

I felt like holding back a bit when I described Vilius's first DMOD, "Baywatch Isle" - yes, believe it or not, that was me holding back - but I don't anymore. "Baywatch" was like "FIAT" compared to this. This is a joke that is neither funny nor successfully executed. Truly, this is the work of an idiot. Happily, this second DMOD is his last.

The treasure I'm searching for is a decent DMOD; let's put our shovels into the sand once more and try again.

127: New Shores: The Maori Authors: Kyle, Tallis Release Date: July 28, 2002

"Mighty Kiwi mythical bird. Only few still live and they hidden."

"New Shores" is another DMOD created for a school project, like Redink1's "Reconstruction." Unlike that DMOD, however, this one contains almost no educational content. If you put that expectation out of your mind, it's an okay romp.

This is a short mod with a couple of puzzles to solve. Enemies are all over the place, including spikies walking around using their death animation as usual (sigh), but there's never a good reason to fight them. What you have to do is memorize four Maori terms so you can pick them from some multiple choice prompts later. I didn't find it hard to remember the terms, but writing them down might be a good idea, as getting the answers wrong incurs stat penalties.

Dink washes up on an unknown shore - except I don't think it's Dink. He talks about his mum and Dad, and more to the point, he talks about dollar bills, checks and guns. Anyway, whoever he is, he meets some supposed Maori people. At first, he and these people can't understand each other. Oddly, I don't think the words that the people speak at this point are from the Maori language. Also, talking to one of the characters (the only female) at this point caused my game to freeze.

Probably-not-Dink gets some sort of magical pendant that enables him to communicate with the Maori, whose speech is rendered, at this point, in broken English. "Me understand you now," that sort of thing. I wasn't a fan of this - as long as the magical pendant is doing its magical translation, why doesn't it go ahead and do it well? It's awkward. The Maori whatshisface encounters are depicted as being rather simple. "What is war?" one asks, which is absurd, and I shouldn't have to explain why. UnDink is kind of a jerk, and the native people talk as if they're children. I started feeling like this mod was the opposite of educational when one character said, "MAORI! That name of tribe," which is false. I'm sorry; all this stuff wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't supposed to be representing a real group of people.

Anyway, the map was surprisingly large, and the central puzzle was pretty-well executed. Despite my misgivings, some of the dialogue was pretty clever. I found the depiction of the kiwi almost hilarious, and our New Zealand Dinkers might get a kick out of that.

Next: A Knight's Tale.