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April 26th 2014, 06:25 PM
Bard Male United States
Please Cindy, say the whole name each time. 
--Crazy Old Tim Plays All the DMODs--

1998 | HTML version
1999 | HTML version
2000 | HTML version
2001 | Article version
2002 Article version

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man to this ridiculous quest to play hundreds of Dink Smallwood games. What's that? He's already taken? Never mind then.

Ah, 2002. For all my blathering on about departing from the Dink community in the past couple of years, I was still around a little bit. Not this time. By 2002 I was SOLID gone. Free at last of my insidious shadow, the Dink community kicked into high gear and cranked out those DMODs with a quickness.

They look like an interesting bunch, too. Notably, 2002 was the year of the first DMOD contest since Mike Synder's back in 1998. The Alternative Hero contest gave rise to Paul Pliska's mod "Lyna's Story," which I've heard a lot of buzz about. This is also the year in which the top rated DMOD on the website, Simon Klaebe's epic "Pilgrim's Quest," was released. I really know nothing at all about these DMODs, so I get to experience the community's favorites with a fresh perspective.

Actually, there was another epic released almost right after FIAT! First, however, let's take the time to say goodbye to one of the more prolific DMODders.

109: DOEM Author: JVeenhof Release Date: January 8, 2002

"You are destined to fight evil until you die..."

Yes, DOEM is the final release by JVeenhof. I was kind of shocked when I checked my list and realized this. I'd gotten so used to typing "JVeenhof" in the author's field that I thought it'd go on forever. In a way I'm kind of sad.

Jan Willem has 8 DMODs to his credit on TDN, but he's also responsible for some of the "lost DMODs," including a DMOD based on the comic book Spawn and something called "Dink Logan." His work displayed a unique combination of caring enough to have interesting and creative ideas with caring too little to bother with things like polish, stability, or balance. On the whole it isn't the best, but the Dink world would lose some of its unique Dinky flavor without it. And you know, for what it's worth, I thought the original "9 Gems" was really cool.

DOEM was an early project that JVeenhof picked back up after abandoning it for a couple of years. The description reads, "I started working on it afther finishing Dink Logan my very first DMOD. Halfway through I stopped working on it for some reason I can't really remember anymore. Then a year or so later I gave it to TIM to finish it, to help him on his way with making his first DMOD. TIM disseaperd though so for another long time it rested on my hardisk. I receantley found it and decided to finish it myself."

..."TIM?" He can't be talking about me. I don't remember this, and my first DMOD came out before Dink Logan. It feels weird reading that, though. The readme also notes that this mod is a tribute to "Slaughterhouse" by Kevin Kazimir, the winner of Mike Snyder's DMOD contest. Boy, this one is hitting me with all sorts of nostalgia for the really early days before I even boot it up.

"DOEM" is a short one with a simple map that amounts to nothing more than a little joke. A man seeks Dink's help to find his brother, who is trapped in a fairly large underground cave filled with monsters. Dink eventually finds out that the guy's brother is already dead. "Great!" says the guy, "Now I get his money!" and gives Dink some cash for his trouble. Da da da da da da! Goodnight everybody, be sure to tip your waitress.

Containing MIDIs and even a couple of NPC shop scripts from the original game, this would be a total throwback to the earliest mods if it weren't for the use of recolored sprites and redink1's lantern effect. Combat certainly isn't a problem with the stats you get. It took me 17 minutes to win because I failed for several minutes to make the connection that I should blow up large rocks that were in my way with bombs I could purchase at the weapons shop. I am hilariously stupid.

The "Slaughterhouse" connection doesn't show up until near the end, when the evil boss turns out to be the joke duck boss from that DMOD known as HIM. HE puts up more of a fight this time, but ultimately is just as big of a joke as before due to your stats. Actually, I hope this was intentional. This duck came back from Hell to get his revenge, but dammit, he's still just a duck. That's pretty funny. If you're curious, by the way, "DOEM" turns out to be just a silly way to say the word 'doom.'

The dialogue here has better spelling and grammar than any other JVeenhof DMOD. This is because it was updated in July 2002, and he got Tal to spellcheck it for him. Back in Dink X Trivia, JV proclaimed that he and Tal had such an antagonistic relationship that they were "like God and Satan," so if they can work together, there may be hope for all of us. The readme indicated that he was going to go back and fix up more of his DMODs; this never happened, which is a big shame, because they could really have used it.

I think I can confirm that "TIM" was not me, but I did make a few attempts at collaboration back in the day. One time I got a bunch of people interested in a big collaborative DMOD that we'd pass around and work on in turn - unlikely to say the least. Actually, the project did make it past "post on the forum" stage, surprisingly enough. I remember a short alpha. Dink, who had crazy high stats, was followed around by a sidekick on an ominous mission. Rain fell, and it was dark. The idea was that the Great Hero Dink would die, and you would have to carry on as the sidekick. The concept and dialogue were mine, but everything else was done by another Dinker, though I can't remember which one. Boy, if you think there are a lot of DMODs, imagine how many there would be if every project had lead to a release.

Next: As Good as Eternity.