Reply to Re: Crazy Old Tim Plays all the DMODs of 2001
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Sorry it's been a while. I got married since the last time I posted here and had a little honeymoon. And then Secret of Parizaya took me a while to actually get through.
105: Secret of Parizaya Author: Christiaan Janssen Release Date: September 21, 2001
I couldn't nail down the release date of this one. September is all I'm sure of.
Christiaan is a well-known member of the Dink community. I think I used one of the MIDIs he composed in a minor spot in "Malachi the Jerk." This was his first DMOD.
Secret of Parizaya (Check out that crazy title screen!) is the second lowest-rated epic on TDN. The gap between it and the third-lowest is considerable. The rating is currently 6.8/10. This includes a review by the author, which always kind of bugs me. I did the math, though, and the rating would be 6.7 without his review, so I guess it isn't a big deal.
First of all, this isn't an epic. That isn't a value judgment, it's just a measure of length. "Malachi the Jerk" is definitely a longer DMOD than this one despite having fewer screens. "Parizaya" hits the 768 maximum by including quite a few pointless empty screens that are never used, by the way. In the original game those kind of screens were there to make the in-game map look better, but when you press M in this DMOD, you get this. Wow.
Early on, I was planning to make a mild defense of "Parizaya." Parts of it can be quite fun. The maps, while LOOKING rather odd, at least do so in an original way, and the overall layout works pretty well and reminds me of the Legend of Zelda series. A few spots even look memorable in a good way. There were some nice stylistic elements, like text announcing the parts of the story or the name of the town you were entering. Ultimately, however, my patience ran out as the problems I ran into piled up.
I'm not sure I should bother talking about the story. You're a not-Dink from the far future, and your Uncle Skull Rage (I bet the family never expected him to become evil) has kidnapped your parents. It makes zero sense and isn't even terribly coherent. I tuned it out for the most part.
There's this awful sound that comes out of your speakers throughout this DMOD for absolutely no reason at all. It starts at a low rumble, and proceeds into a mix between a monster roaring and something throwing up. It made me want to cry.
There are some pretty terrible-looking screens and a number of bugs to contend with. There was a screen that always caused the game to fade down and never fade back up. There were flame boncas like the ones previously seen in Birth of an Empire, but they lacked special frames and couldn't hit you. Worst of all, the second-to-last boss simply doesn't work and leaves you trapped. Most of the bugs are not major, but they add up and get quite irritating.
The biggest problem is the weird difficulty spikes you run into. When you mix them with the scarcity of save points, it forms a potent and aggressive pesticide that targets the promising shoots of fun and wipes them right out. I couldn't beat the final boss. It has 500 HP and 25 defense. Sure, there's a comparable boss in "Malachi the Jerk," but that mod had the flame bow and automatic bow lore. Here, you can't get bow lore at all, and I really can't imagine how I was supposed to deal damage to the boss at all.
I'd say that with quite a bit more polish - minor things, really, like more care in enemy placement and balance and fixing a number of bugs - this could be a really solid DMOD. Not a great one, but really solid for sure. As it is, an experience that started out as fun became overwhelmed for me by frustration.
That was kind of short, so please enjoy a 2001-era GameFAQs review of this DMOD. Please note that number scores and opinions from 2001 GameFAQs do not necessarily apply to current reality.
"Pretty dumb overall, but contains certian good features that make it enjoyable... for a while"
A review of "Secret of Parizaya" by SSJ_Psycho_Vegeta
Posted 9/28/01
This game is you being a guy from a thousand years in the future. But, it is kind of confusing, because the guy that you are looks exactly, like Dink smallwood. That was a very bad feature, but there are soem features that are kind of good, like gameplay. Other features, like sound, were bad. Overall, it is a middle of the line kind of game, neither good or bad.
Graphics: 7
The Graphics were okay, when you consider that, Dink Smallwood is four years old, so how good can the graphics be? Even still, all of the colors were colored in nicley, which made it more enjoyable, to look at. However I don't think, that graphics like these, could ever deserve more than seven points.
Gameplay: 6
I know that I said, that, the gameplay was good. And for a while, it was. But twords the end of the game, it got so hard, to play, that it was almost impossible. It was hard, when you get to the last levles it was really hard. I did appreciate how the gameplay required a lot of stragity to win, which is why, the score is still six even thogh the end, was almost impossbile.
Sound: 4
Not all of the sound, was bad. There was music from Final Fantasy VII, which is obviously the best music. Some of the other music, was good also. But some of the sound, WAS SO BAD, that it made me want to stab my ears off. IT WAS SO SO BAD. There was this sound that would not shut up, for the whole game, and in one part there was this person who said, Hi, it's me, some dumb name, over and over and wouldnt stop, ever. The sound was a poor feature, in this particular game.
Buy/Rent: Neither
One good thing, I can say about this game, is that you do not have to buy it or rent it. Just download it, and you can play it for FREE. Even Dink Smallwood, which used to cost $20, is free now. So in the end, you really do not lose much, to try it, except spending a lot of time if you still have 56k.
Overall: 6
This is a middle of the road game. You could play better games, and you could play worse. This is a game, that could go either way, with people, but its still free, so you should, download it, and try and see, if you like it or not.
Thanks, SSJ_Psycho_Vegeta. It sure is a good thing that all of your reviews from thirteen years ago are committed to the Web for all people to see forever.
105: Secret of Parizaya Author: Christiaan Janssen Release Date: September 21, 2001
I couldn't nail down the release date of this one. September is all I'm sure of.
Christiaan is a well-known member of the Dink community. I think I used one of the MIDIs he composed in a minor spot in "Malachi the Jerk." This was his first DMOD.
Secret of Parizaya (Check out that crazy title screen!) is the second lowest-rated epic on TDN. The gap between it and the third-lowest is considerable. The rating is currently 6.8/10. This includes a review by the author, which always kind of bugs me. I did the math, though, and the rating would be 6.7 without his review, so I guess it isn't a big deal.
First of all, this isn't an epic. That isn't a value judgment, it's just a measure of length. "Malachi the Jerk" is definitely a longer DMOD than this one despite having fewer screens. "Parizaya" hits the 768 maximum by including quite a few pointless empty screens that are never used, by the way. In the original game those kind of screens were there to make the in-game map look better, but when you press M in this DMOD, you get this. Wow.
Early on, I was planning to make a mild defense of "Parizaya." Parts of it can be quite fun. The maps, while LOOKING rather odd, at least do so in an original way, and the overall layout works pretty well and reminds me of the Legend of Zelda series. A few spots even look memorable in a good way. There were some nice stylistic elements, like text announcing the parts of the story or the name of the town you were entering. Ultimately, however, my patience ran out as the problems I ran into piled up.
I'm not sure I should bother talking about the story. You're a not-Dink from the far future, and your Uncle Skull Rage (I bet the family never expected him to become evil) has kidnapped your parents. It makes zero sense and isn't even terribly coherent. I tuned it out for the most part.
There's this awful sound that comes out of your speakers throughout this DMOD for absolutely no reason at all. It starts at a low rumble, and proceeds into a mix between a monster roaring and something throwing up. It made me want to cry.
There are some pretty terrible-looking screens and a number of bugs to contend with. There was a screen that always caused the game to fade down and never fade back up. There were flame boncas like the ones previously seen in Birth of an Empire, but they lacked special frames and couldn't hit you. Worst of all, the second-to-last boss simply doesn't work and leaves you trapped. Most of the bugs are not major, but they add up and get quite irritating.
The biggest problem is the weird difficulty spikes you run into. When you mix them with the scarcity of save points, it forms a potent and aggressive pesticide that targets the promising shoots of fun and wipes them right out. I couldn't beat the final boss. It has 500 HP and 25 defense. Sure, there's a comparable boss in "Malachi the Jerk," but that mod had the flame bow and automatic bow lore. Here, you can't get bow lore at all, and I really can't imagine how I was supposed to deal damage to the boss at all.
I'd say that with quite a bit more polish - minor things, really, like more care in enemy placement and balance and fixing a number of bugs - this could be a really solid DMOD. Not a great one, but really solid for sure. As it is, an experience that started out as fun became overwhelmed for me by frustration.
That was kind of short, so please enjoy a 2001-era GameFAQs review of this DMOD. Please note that number scores and opinions from 2001 GameFAQs do not necessarily apply to current reality.
"Pretty dumb overall, but contains certian good features that make it enjoyable... for a while"
A review of "Secret of Parizaya" by SSJ_Psycho_Vegeta
Posted 9/28/01
This game is you being a guy from a thousand years in the future. But, it is kind of confusing, because the guy that you are looks exactly, like Dink smallwood. That was a very bad feature, but there are soem features that are kind of good, like gameplay. Other features, like sound, were bad. Overall, it is a middle of the line kind of game, neither good or bad.
Graphics: 7
The Graphics were okay, when you consider that, Dink Smallwood is four years old, so how good can the graphics be? Even still, all of the colors were colored in nicley, which made it more enjoyable, to look at. However I don't think, that graphics like these, could ever deserve more than seven points.
Gameplay: 6
I know that I said, that, the gameplay was good. And for a while, it was. But twords the end of the game, it got so hard, to play, that it was almost impossible. It was hard, when you get to the last levles it was really hard. I did appreciate how the gameplay required a lot of stragity to win, which is why, the score is still six even thogh the end, was almost impossbile.
Sound: 4
Not all of the sound, was bad. There was music from Final Fantasy VII, which is obviously the best music. Some of the other music, was good also. But some of the sound, WAS SO BAD, that it made me want to stab my ears off. IT WAS SO SO BAD. There was this sound that would not shut up, for the whole game, and in one part there was this person who said, Hi, it's me, some dumb name, over and over and wouldnt stop, ever. The sound was a poor feature, in this particular game.
Buy/Rent: Neither
One good thing, I can say about this game, is that you do not have to buy it or rent it. Just download it, and you can play it for FREE. Even Dink Smallwood, which used to cost $20, is free now. So in the end, you really do not lose much, to try it, except spending a lot of time if you still have 56k.
Overall: 6
This is a middle of the road game. You could play better games, and you could play worse. This is a game, that could go either way, with people, but its still free, so you should, download it, and try and see, if you like it or not.
Thanks, SSJ_Psycho_Vegeta. It sure is a good thing that all of your reviews from thirteen years ago are committed to the Web for all people to see forever.
