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It sounds really good as the intro, build-up section of a song, but it needs more than that. The melody is good, so I think this could work as the underlying melody in a longer song, too, rather than just this short piece; repeat that melody for a minute or two, and just keep adding stuff on top of it.
In my experience, though, that's the trickiest part of making music - getting a song up to a respectable length, without becoming repetitive, without using TOO many instruments, and without changing into a completely different song halfway through.
In my experience, though, that's the trickiest part of making music - getting a song up to a respectable length, without becoming repetitive, without using TOO many instruments, and without changing into a completely different song halfway through.