Reply to Re: Crazy Old Tim Plays all the DMODs of 2001
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089: Goblin Trouble II Authors: Killerbee, WC Release Date: January 29, 2001
WC is listed as a co-author here, but I don't think there was any actual collaboration judging from the text "Remade By WC (Without permission)" in the readme file. Still, maybe that means I can actually finish this one. As an aside, it's too bad WC doesn't hang around here anymore, he was actually pretty cool.
I'll admit it, I was pretty excited to discover that there actually was a Goblin Trouble 2. The 1999 original promised a part two "in two months," but it's nice to discover a promised followup existing at all. Those of you who have been reading along may recall my enthusiasm for Goblin Trouble despite (actually in part because of) its brokenness and lack of a plot. The level of absurdity on display, the density of the jokes and the complete failure to take anything seriously combined to make it something special to me despite all expectations.
I wasn't as enamored of this part, although there were some flashes of the accidental "brilliance" from the original. The major problem is that there just isn't much to this one. It consists of a rather long cutscene, a few brief conversations and two screens of basic fighting. On the other hand, this time there are, without a doubt, goblins.
It is amusing while it lasts. The mod's short length is packed with wacky stuff like Dink stopping to take a rest because cutscenes are hard work and the author apologizing for "killing endangered species" when Dink attacks a goblin in the cutscene. Practically every object is scripted and has silly text for your enjoyment. New, absurd text is packed in everywhere, from the savebot script to the help blurb nobody reads in the escape menu. There is a new spell, the rotten fish magic. This is just a fireball, but the MSPaint graphics are a fitting change of pace.
Unfortunately, the mod stops short just as it gets going. According to the ending text, it wasn't finished due to "rude flaming from certain members of the Dink Community," and WC took it upon himself to get the DMOD into a playable state and release it in honor of KillerBee's effort.
While still buggy, this is less of a wreck than Goblin Trouble 1, but there's a lot less to do here. It's still worth a look for Goblin Trouble fans, of which I am quite probably the only one. Oh well!
090: Dink 007 Author: Nick Vervaeke Release Date: February 24, 2001
REPUTATION NOTE: This DMOD is one of the incredibly select group to have a score below 1.0 on the Dink Network (0.5).
Let me try to see how many nice things I can say about this DMOD.
It has a MIDI of Bohemian Rhapsody! I mean, it really should have been a James Bond theme, and it's not the best conversion, but that's still pretty cool!
...Um... Well, there's... Hm.
Oh! There's a savebot in it. It works and everything.
...Yeah, I got nothing.
"Dink 007" is the worst DMOD I have ever played. It makes "Dink Smallwood Forever," "Mike Dingwell's First D-MOD," and "Richrad's Attack" look almost good by comparison. It makes something like "Milderr!!" look like a friggin' epic masterpiece. I'm not trying to be silly here, these are facts.
What do I even say? It looks like this.
The only text relevant to the title is in the short intro, which you can make overlap itself by pressing the talk button. It says, "Before James Bond... Before James West... There was Dink 007." It's nonsense. If this DMOD worked (it doesn't), its "plot" wouldn't have anything to do with spies or secret agents. Then again, I once named a DMOD "2001: A Dink Oddyssey" for no good reason, so I guess this comes from a similar place.
If you had a bad DMOD Bingo card, you might be able to fill it all up with this one.
*Objects that should be hard simply are not.
*The edges of the map have no indication you can't walk in a certain direction.
*Objects that should be scripted (NPCs!) are not.
*Depth que is never set correctly.
*Enemies are placed nonsensically and you are at no point required to fight them.
*Enemies are too difficult.
*Spelling is poor.
*Tiling is often bad.
*Impossible to complete.
I want to pay special attention to that last one. NOTHING works. Most NPCs in this mod simply have no script, but those few that are supposed to talk to you simply cause the game to freeze instead. Using WinDinkEdit to look at the .d files (!), I determined that this bug was causing me to miss out on such thrilling dialogue as "I will learn you magic" and "Ask further directions at te chief."
I don't think it gets worse than this. I really don't.
091: Revenge of the Ducks 2 Author: Jveenhof Release Date: February 25, 2001
Make a series out of that little DMOD about being a duck? Sure, why not.
There's a duck walking back and forth on the title screen; I thought I'd mention this, since I don't remember any DMOD ever using moving sprites for the title before.
RotD2 is a step up from its predecessor; there's more to do, more map to explore, and a more involved story. This time we find Ronan the warrior duck attempting to rescue a bonca from an evil (sure) hunter. Man, look at that duck lay down the law! This duck is a bad ass. I'm lovin' it.
Having driven off the hunter, Ronan sees to the bonca, but as you could probably tell from that screenshot, it's too late for her. (Hmm, a sad scene with a dying female bonca... that seems familiar to me for some reason...) She tells Ronan to take care of her son. This is how we come to have a duck riding a bonca named Billy. It's a hilarious sight. The sprites could be better - Ronan moves around all over the place. Then again, it would be a bumpy ride.
Ronan and Billy are best pals. It warms my heart. Both of them participate in everything you do. Billy isn't too smart, so he's always asking Ronan to explain things to him, which the duck does with patience and grace. There's such an air of cynicism around DMODs that you'd expect him to crack wise at his friend's expense, but this is actually nice to see. Anyway, this is a good vehicle for exposition while simultaneously demonstrating to the player how much the two depend on one another. Even when you attack, if you use "punch" (bonca tail), Ronan will shout, "Billy, hit them!" If you use the fireball, it's Billy who says, "Ronan, blast them!" It's adorable. Unfortunately, you're paused for about a second after using fireball, which is annoying.
The screens look pretty good, although there are some depth que problems (Jveenhof's old "bridge that constantly clips in front of you" problem from 9 gems returns), and some badly tiled screens toward the bottom of the first area.
Other problems with the mod include bad English (it's not so hard to get somebody to look over it, is it?) and no savebots at all, which got on my nerves when I died near the end (easy to do on your first try, when you don't know how to solve the puzzle yet) and had to start over. The mod also ends rather abruptly, when you really think you're just about to go to the next area. Still, this one won my moderate approval on the charm of its concept alone. I mean, if a duck and a bonca can be friends, given the animosity we've seen in the past between those species, maybe there's hope for us all.
---
There - three DMODs. I await my cookies.
WC is listed as a co-author here, but I don't think there was any actual collaboration judging from the text "Remade By WC (Without permission)" in the readme file. Still, maybe that means I can actually finish this one. As an aside, it's too bad WC doesn't hang around here anymore, he was actually pretty cool.
I'll admit it, I was pretty excited to discover that there actually was a Goblin Trouble 2. The 1999 original promised a part two "in two months," but it's nice to discover a promised followup existing at all. Those of you who have been reading along may recall my enthusiasm for Goblin Trouble despite (actually in part because of) its brokenness and lack of a plot. The level of absurdity on display, the density of the jokes and the complete failure to take anything seriously combined to make it something special to me despite all expectations.
I wasn't as enamored of this part, although there were some flashes of the accidental "brilliance" from the original. The major problem is that there just isn't much to this one. It consists of a rather long cutscene, a few brief conversations and two screens of basic fighting. On the other hand, this time there are, without a doubt, goblins.
It is amusing while it lasts. The mod's short length is packed with wacky stuff like Dink stopping to take a rest because cutscenes are hard work and the author apologizing for "killing endangered species" when Dink attacks a goblin in the cutscene. Practically every object is scripted and has silly text for your enjoyment. New, absurd text is packed in everywhere, from the savebot script to the help blurb nobody reads in the escape menu. There is a new spell, the rotten fish magic. This is just a fireball, but the MSPaint graphics are a fitting change of pace.
Unfortunately, the mod stops short just as it gets going. According to the ending text, it wasn't finished due to "rude flaming from certain members of the Dink Community," and WC took it upon himself to get the DMOD into a playable state and release it in honor of KillerBee's effort.
While still buggy, this is less of a wreck than Goblin Trouble 1, but there's a lot less to do here. It's still worth a look for Goblin Trouble fans, of which I am quite probably the only one. Oh well!
090: Dink 007 Author: Nick Vervaeke Release Date: February 24, 2001
REPUTATION NOTE: This DMOD is one of the incredibly select group to have a score below 1.0 on the Dink Network (0.5).
Let me try to see how many nice things I can say about this DMOD.
It has a MIDI of Bohemian Rhapsody! I mean, it really should have been a James Bond theme, and it's not the best conversion, but that's still pretty cool!
...Um... Well, there's... Hm.
Oh! There's a savebot in it. It works and everything.
...Yeah, I got nothing.
**************This DMOD, "Dink 007,"*************** ********Has been awarded the prestigious********* ****DINK FOREVER MEMORIAL AWARD OF BADNESS***** ********On this day February 7, 2014********
"Dink 007" is the worst DMOD I have ever played. It makes "Dink Smallwood Forever," "Mike Dingwell's First D-MOD," and "Richrad's Attack" look almost good by comparison. It makes something like "Milderr!!" look like a friggin' epic masterpiece. I'm not trying to be silly here, these are facts.
What do I even say? It looks like this.
The only text relevant to the title is in the short intro, which you can make overlap itself by pressing the talk button. It says, "Before James Bond... Before James West... There was Dink 007." It's nonsense. If this DMOD worked (it doesn't), its "plot" wouldn't have anything to do with spies or secret agents. Then again, I once named a DMOD "2001: A Dink Oddyssey" for no good reason, so I guess this comes from a similar place.
If you had a bad DMOD Bingo card, you might be able to fill it all up with this one.
*Objects that should be hard simply are not.
*The edges of the map have no indication you can't walk in a certain direction.
*Objects that should be scripted (NPCs!) are not.
*Depth que is never set correctly.
*Enemies are placed nonsensically and you are at no point required to fight them.
*Enemies are too difficult.
*Spelling is poor.
*Tiling is often bad.
*Impossible to complete.
I want to pay special attention to that last one. NOTHING works. Most NPCs in this mod simply have no script, but those few that are supposed to talk to you simply cause the game to freeze instead. Using WinDinkEdit to look at the .d files (!), I determined that this bug was causing me to miss out on such thrilling dialogue as "I will learn you magic" and "Ask further directions at te chief."
I don't think it gets worse than this. I really don't.
091: Revenge of the Ducks 2 Author: Jveenhof Release Date: February 25, 2001
Make a series out of that little DMOD about being a duck? Sure, why not.
There's a duck walking back and forth on the title screen; I thought I'd mention this, since I don't remember any DMOD ever using moving sprites for the title before.
RotD2 is a step up from its predecessor; there's more to do, more map to explore, and a more involved story. This time we find Ronan the warrior duck attempting to rescue a bonca from an evil (sure) hunter. Man, look at that duck lay down the law! This duck is a bad ass. I'm lovin' it.
Having driven off the hunter, Ronan sees to the bonca, but as you could probably tell from that screenshot, it's too late for her. (Hmm, a sad scene with a dying female bonca... that seems familiar to me for some reason...) She tells Ronan to take care of her son. This is how we come to have a duck riding a bonca named Billy. It's a hilarious sight. The sprites could be better - Ronan moves around all over the place. Then again, it would be a bumpy ride.
Ronan and Billy are best pals. It warms my heart. Both of them participate in everything you do. Billy isn't too smart, so he's always asking Ronan to explain things to him, which the duck does with patience and grace. There's such an air of cynicism around DMODs that you'd expect him to crack wise at his friend's expense, but this is actually nice to see. Anyway, this is a good vehicle for exposition while simultaneously demonstrating to the player how much the two depend on one another. Even when you attack, if you use "punch" (bonca tail), Ronan will shout, "Billy, hit them!" If you use the fireball, it's Billy who says, "Ronan, blast them!" It's adorable. Unfortunately, you're paused for about a second after using fireball, which is annoying.
The screens look pretty good, although there are some depth que problems (Jveenhof's old "bridge that constantly clips in front of you" problem from 9 gems returns), and some badly tiled screens toward the bottom of the first area.
Other problems with the mod include bad English (it's not so hard to get somebody to look over it, is it?) and no savebots at all, which got on my nerves when I died near the end (easy to do on your first try, when you don't know how to solve the puzzle yet) and had to start over. The mod also ends rather abruptly, when you really think you're just about to go to the next area. Still, this one won my moderate approval on the charm of its concept alone. I mean, if a duck and a bonca can be friends, given the animosity we've seen in the past between those species, maybe there's hope for us all.
---
There - three DMODs. I await my cookies.
